Should I invent a secret handshake with my BFF where we press our nipples 2gether?

By Carles | July 26, 2010
Photo by LastNightsParty


Sometimes I wish I could be young forever, having the energy to ’stay out doing blow every night’, seeking out meaningful life experiences until the sun rises. Honestly my newly adopted ‘chillwave’ lifestyle is kinda a result of my body ‘breaking down’ since I recently got a job that sorta sucks a lot of time and energy out of me. Really can’t do anything but chill after work because my body can’t do much else.

Chillwave lifestyle has its positives and negatives. I chill super hard, but chills aren’t as frequent. The chills that I do throw down are mad meaningful. I feel like I have ‘a few core bros’, but my SOCIAL NETWORK [via Zuckerberg] is diminishing rapidly. Wish I could go back in time, be young again, learn how 2 <3 again. Do fun things again. Be quirky, zany, let nights last forever. I wish I could invent a new ’secret handshake’ with my BFFs where we exposed our supple nipples, then touched them together. This would represent the ‘passing of milk’ from one teet to another. We would be ‘nursing’ 1 another, sharing information, lifestreaming in the most authentic way.

Just want life to stream from 1 human to another
in an authentic social network
Just want some ‘’
in my face
helping me to 4get about my chillwave escapist lifestyle

Miss the days of ‘.’ Wonder if I will ever find ‘the perfect pair’, or if I’ll just end up settling for some ‘cartoon-like mainstream breasts’ on a mainstreamer.

Might go to my local drug store, purchase a disposable camera, and label it the ‘boob cam’. I will rent a van, drive around trying to ‘pick up chicks’ and eventually ‘bang them + photograph it’ in the back of the van, starting a successful online pornography subscription service called “Bros Bangin Chicks in the back of a van.”

I feel like the blog is ‘really suffering’ from the great buzz drought of 2k10. Since there aren’t that many bloggable bands, blogs that blog bloggable content can’t really blog. Really hurting us all right now. I feel like 2k9 was sort of ‘the Olympics of Indie Music’, and now we have amazing stadiums + infrastructure meant to spread memes, but now there aren’t many memes to spread + share. Sorta like converting a professional speed skating arena into a place where 12 year olds have rollerskating parties.

h8 2k10 so bad right now. 2k10 artists didn’t really ‘open up a new artistic space’ where we could debate + discuss + analyze their art. Seems like the criticism-sphere in 2k10 has sorta been a ’slow pitch softball game.’
Really ‘losing it.’

What came first: the buzz or the band?

Just hope the nip slip economy can ‘come back’ and save the mp3 economy. Feel like nip slips represent ‘promise’, the opportunity of ’seeing something great’ in the future.

Feeling depressed, like the only thing keeping the blogosphere alive is ‘ravers killing eachother’ and birds pooping on buzzbands.
R u sad abt the state of the blogosphere?
Is 2k10 really ‘tanking’?
Does n e 1 care about the Arcade Fire leak?
Will Panda Bear let us down?
Can anything save 2k10?

What will we find first: the next bloggable buzzband or the ?

     
Posted in Alternative Nudity | Tagged , , | 85 Comments

Is Cody Simpson the new Justin Bieber?

By Carles | July 21, 2010


It seems like 2k10 has been all about ‘Bieber fever.’ Every1 knows who that lil tween bro is just because he sings makes tween girls’ pussies wet and transitioned into a bloggable internet meme. Social media tweeting with iTunes gift cards have kept him ‘mad internet famous’ and probably pretty well monetized. Feel like his career is sort of an ‘inside joke’ or something that no1 else really minds following. I wonder if he will ‘pull a Justin Timberlake’ and become a ‘bad boy’ who ‘wants 2 fuck u’ soon. I remember when Justin Timberlake shaved off his curly golden white boy fro and got a buzz + some tattoos + muscles just to let u know he was ‘bad/hornie.’ Bieber really needs to start ‘banging bitches’ if he wants to make his career last more than _ years, because the Jonas Brothers proved that the whole ‘purity angle’ makes you boring. All eventually want to lose their virginity, whether it is in the back of a car or the back of a movie theatre. Even Miley Cyrus has decided to ‘ride the slutwave’ with Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and Lindsay Spears.

My fave part of the music industry is ‘aesthetic replication’, but I think that applies to all parts of life/business. Whether it is a great business model, a totally unique artist, or ‘the way a new buzzband sounds’, every1 is trying to copy every1 else who has been successful before them. This inspires ‘discussion’ on whether or not the new product is a ‘rip off’, which is good for buzz. I feel like I have really been enjoying all of the slutwave artists ‘getting conceptual’ after Lady Gaga got conceptual + generated blog buzz.

It is exciting to see the new genre of post-Bieber-lil-bros.

I feel like this new bro “Cody Simpson” might be a new tween meme that I might ride. It will be sort of like ‘finding a new indie buzzband’ to talk about with all of my friends, except he is in the wigger tween genre. Really digging this song hard. Sorta wanna cruise around bikes with my bros again, and talk about our penises getting hard 4 the first time.

From what I understand, he is an Australian tween who was harvested from youtube (just like JBieb). He also has a hair swoop, but his foreign accent ‘makes him dreamy.’ Sort of seems like a chill California style bro, but I guess that’s how most Australian bros are.

Feel like if I had a 2nd life/opportunity to pursue a new career, I would be a ‘tween sensation stylist.’ I would give the Jonas Bros ‘lil vests’ and hoodies to wigger tween rapper singers.

He seems pretty chill. Might follow him on twitter.

Wonder if u get ‘unlimited blowjobs’ if ur a tween sensation.

He seems ’self-aware’ when talking about the Bieber Rivalry. He seems soo ‘wise beyond his years.’

Do u believe in the Cody Simpson brand?
Will Cody Simpson ‘become a meme’ just like Justin Bieber?
Will this post just become a ’sad memorial’ of a bro who tried to ‘rip off’ Justin Bieber to sell albums once both of these bros end up like ‘the Two Coreys’?
Do u feel bad for kids’ whose lives’ are ruined because record industry executives ‘used’ them to try to sell records?
Was ’social media’ built for ?
Will ever ‘go indie’ or will they stay brand loyal to forever?
Do u wanna chill with CodyBro?
Do u h8 Australians?

Is tween coverage ‘more interesting’ than boring ass buzzband coverage?
What buzzbands have ripped off other buzzbands’ sounds?
If you are an indie buzzband, does it just make sense to create ur own weird sound so that no1 can directly rip it off?
Will Justin Bieber/Lady Gaga have ‘long, fruitful, fulfilling careers’ or are they just the 2 artists who have done the best job of ‘exploiting’ social media and will eventually become ‘even bigger jokes than they are now’?

     
Posted in tweens | Tagged , , , | 121 Comments