P0ST M0RE B0W TIES

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Cute AZNs start global trends":

p0st m0re bowties

After the success of the bro in a bowtie & the AZN girl in a bow tie, there is a clear demand for bow ties in alternative markets.


Do you like that dude's bow (tie) necklace?

Does any body know if Urban Outfitters is already selling this?
Would you ever consider wearing that necklace, or would it be kind of like the equivalent wearing Kanye sunglasses when it comes 2 form & function?

<3 <3 various forms of bows that are tied which are worn by alternative people <3 <3

[Bow Tie by Gade Mode]

Cute AZNs start global trends

'Every thing cool comes from Japan,' is a statement that I've heard relatively frequently whenever a trend or fad takes the world by storm. This would include phenomena like Tamagachis, neon colors, graphic tees, pogs, the Power Rangers, or baseball. This group of Korean teens remind me of Japanese people, so can you identify any trends in this pic that will invade the Western World by 2k20?

Most trends may or may not originate at the red spots of this map


[Photo by Mark Hunter]

BUT SERIOUSLY
where do u think the best global trends originate?

The "MSTRKRFT can 'fix' any song" Theory

I was watching this MSTRKRFT interview which features some good insights into their brand, creative process, and showcases some of the best & worst habits of alternative celebrities.

At the 4:20 mark in the video, the MSTRKRFT bros start talking about remixes, and go pretty in depth into their remixable criteria manifesto.

Do you enjoy MSTRKRFT Remixes? I've read a few HRO comments about songs or the way people look that say "I think this would be better if MSTRKRFT remixed it." Do you buy into the theory that MSTRKRFT can fix any thing?

I've never been particularly into their originals, but I think they are probably pretty socially relevant in terms of 'being a 2 man electro act that was a pioneer in learning how to capture the hearts of Generation Y clubgoers.' When it comes to modern indie music, I think they might be one of the band/producers most responsible for 'Americanizing' the current state of electro-club-dance stuff.

Whenever I hear a MSTRKRFT songs, I end up somewhere within this range of conclusions:
BAD CONCLUSION: "Why do people like MSTRKRFT so much?"
OKAY CONCLUSION: "I don't 'get' this, but it's probably really good if I knew a lot about the history of electronic music."
GOOD CONCLUSION: "This is pretty good."

How to you feel about MSTRKRFT's body of remix work. Do u wish they stuck to remixing lesser-known bands like Metric or New Young Pony Club? Or do you like this new phase where they are remixing Usher, Jesse McCartney, and who knows who else within the next 2 years? As alternative markets continue to transition into mainstream markets, MSTRKRFT could continue to be a critical intermediary between both worlds.

If some1 could remix your life, who would it be?

[MP3]
Usher Love In This Club (MSTRKRFT Remix)
Metric Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT Remix)

Stream multiple MSTRKRFT RMXs


Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/mstrkrft

xx BONUS CONSUMER SURVEY xx

Is the MSTRKRFT shoe the best product ever created by a band, musician, or general alternative celebrity?

I Just Want 2 Look Like An Electro Serial Killer and/or Child Predator

I think if you have the chance to be a white male who can grow the appropriate facial hair and sport the classic pedophile bifocals, you should jump on the opportunity to differentiate yourself from the traditional males styles.

Choosing to look like a societal deviant might not get you as many girls, but you will look like an individual. The look allows you to be a fun loving dude, but have a little bit more edginess than the traditional alt bro.

Jeffrey Dahmer's Mugshot


[Picture by Last Night's Partie]

How You Know You are an Alternative D-Bag

Lately, I've been really into slavery and/or indentured servitude.

Alternative d-bags are people who have a great deal of pride in their personality and social projection. While alternative d-bags usually find a way to differentiate themselves within crowds of alties, it is easiest to identify an alternative d-bags in normal situations.

They go out of their way to show that their reality is not in accordance with the reality of the every-day-lives' of mainstreamers. Alt D-bags try to make it clear that they can't believe they are doing a standard task, like grocery shopping, going to the post-office, or renewing a driver's license.

For example, most people at the airport are traveling for traditional business purposes. They are baffled when they see an entourage of 'under-dressed people who aren't famous, but sure act like it' surfing on a baggage cart being pushed by a live human.

Alternative d-bags find a way to throw out social norms, tact, and the minimal skill set of manners that their parents taught them. They are also likely to claim that 'they have A.D.D. real bad.'

BUT SERIOUSLY. IT'S MOTHER'S DAY...
WHAT WOULD UR MOM DO TO YOU IF SHE SAW YOU BEING PUSHED BY A LADY ON A LUGGAGE CART?
I feel like it's one of the things where it's less disappointing when you are 5 years old, very disappointing when you are 15 years old, and EXTREMELY disappointing when you are 25+ years old.

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]

Getting To Know More of the World's Alternative Celebrities

Meet The Facehunter. He's more than just a street fashion blog. He's a real person (who dresses kind of like Willy Wonka).

Which do you think is a more difficult field: street fashion blogging or having your own party pix website?
Which is a more authentic field?
Which will get u on to more guest lists?
Which has a better chance of turning you into an alternative celebrity?
Which presents a better opportunity to create a sustainable revenue stream?



HE WILL HUNT UR FACE.
http://facehunter.blogspot.com/

Substitute Kanye Glasses

I read a news story about countries beginning to outlaw the use of Kanye glasses while driving. I think you would be allowed to drive with these ones, though.

Some1 needs to invent glasses that are completely opaque and sell them to alternative markets.

[Picture by Plastic Choko]

Mother's Day Means A Meaningful HRO Tribute To Mothers of Alt Kids.

Will you be an alternative parent one day?
I don't think the current crop of alternative females have very good maternal instincts. Most alt bros will probably just marry mainstreamers who won't entirely resent giving up full time self-involvement.

[Photo by Austin Style Watch]

************
A Mother's Day Song for your mom...

"And I don't want the world 2 c me,
bc I don't think that they'd understand...
When Everything's made 2 b broken,
I just want u 2 know who I am..."
-The Goo Goo Dolls, "Iris"



XX BONUS XX
****AN OPEN LETTER TO MOMS OF ALT BROS*******
Dear Mom,
I just want you to know that I appreciate you. I've gone through a lot of fads over the years, and made you listen to a lot of crappy music in the car. I only played it because I wanted you to appreciate me for who I was at the time. I wanted us to have a connection when I played "Father of Mine" by Everclear.


You bought me a lot of shitty clothes, and you drove me to places so I could try to fit in and sometimes try to finger girls in the back of movie theatres. I remember when you bought me my first cargo shorts, painters jeans, and band t-shirt at Hot Topic. You never made fun of me, and you never tried to stop me. You bought me rap CDs, alt rock CDs, Deep Blue Something CDs, and Dishwalla CDs. This means you really love me, unconditionally. Also, there was that time where I made you buy me an electric guitar, and I never really learned how to play it.

You have been here for me every step of the way on my journey towards my alternative existence.

I remember when you signed me up for a summer art program where I learned how to paint, and do arts and crafts doodling crap. It's funny how things work out. Almost a decade later, you paid for me to go to an auto-acceptance Art Institute in Chicago/San Fransisco/New York City/Los Angeles. I went for a year, and you paid the $30,000 tuition, and you paid for my rent. You also bought me a Macbook because I wanted the little camera thingy, even though you bought me an iBook 3 months earlier.

During my year failing out of art school, I did a lot of bad things, but they were probably good for my social life. Atleast 80% of my monthly budget is spent on night life activities. You also indirectly paid for my chest tattoo.

I remember the first time I came home from art college. I had a beard/a piercing/dressed like I was a new person, and tried to seem super disinterested and disgusted in my suburban surroundings. You looked kind of like you were proud of me, I think. Maybe you were just confused, but it was a stomach punch of sweetness that were genuinely just happy to see me.

When I told you that my heart wasn't in art school any more (because I didn't do any work for an entire semester and had to "medically withdraw because of depression & anxiety"), and I needed time to 'find out who I was and how I could express myself', you gave me time. When I got tired of the whole bullshit scene in my city, you gave me money to move to a new major city. You supported me while I spent 3 months searching for the perfect job in the perfect coffee shop/bar/retail outlet.

I hardly call you any more because I don't think you can appreciate how cool, intellectual, progressive, and culturally relevant everything about my existence is.

I am thankful for you, and I know you have given me everything, so it's just difficult for me to talk to you because I feel incredibly guilty about the decisions I've made. As Sufjan Stevens said in the song CHICAGO, "I've made a lot of mistakes." But you've always been there because you are waiting for me to turn into some one great (which happens to be a song by a band named LCD Soundsystem).

Fortunately, I'm finally doing something. Me and a group of my buddies are going to start a blog. It's sort of like a website where people come to read your writing, or videos, or just browse pictures. It's basically the future of journalism, and I think we're really going to make it, and just promote music, and try to make the scene a better place. I think we are going to blog for social change, party promotion, and post some really awesome italo bangers.

I love you mom. I'm sorry that I am a turd that came out of your womb, and eventually turned into a bigger turd who requires the monthly budget of a four-person family in Middle America.

Love,
Your Alt Bro Son

PS: Attached to this letter is a burned CD. It's an album by Feist called "The Reminder." I think you'll enjoy it since you like Sheryl Crow.
*****************

HRO [HIGHLY RECCS] ATTEMPTING TO SHOW SOME COMPASSION TOWARDS YOUR MOTHER TODAY. OR MAYBE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE HER.

"My Son Moved to the City and now he is a FGGT."

CARLES: A GOOD PERSON DEEP INSIDE?
LATERS.

THIS IS A POST ABOUT HRO

HRO is available if you get in trouble at school.

HRO is the only blog on the internet that is compatible with linksys wireless routers.

Please press CTRL+H+R+O to convert your desktop to an HRO browsing and commenting portal.


*****************
Some dude made some FAN ART a while ago that I forgot 2 blog about.


*****************

Please submit your questions for the advice column, which will finally launch. Email me at carleser {AT} gmail.com , or just leave a cmmnt. Make sure your questions are really vulnerable, and are about stuff like life, relationships, fitting in, and making the decisions to be the person that you need to be.

As I detailed in an earlier post, "I want to be more than just your favourite blog--I want to be the friend that your best friend is too self-involved and impatient to be. I am also very familiar with 'Teen Issues,' with a specialization in 'creating an authentic niche in your social stratosphere.' "

Sample question: "What's the difference between "being in love" and "being in <3"?

*****************

I am still working on gathering data for the PARTY PIXXX POWER RANKINGS, which I outlined here. Please let me know if there's any Party Pix sites that I need to know about, or if there are any really amazing blogs/online television stations/geocities websites that I should know about.

I am trying to be a better blogger.
What do I need 2 do to b a better blogger?
More Chili's Giftcard Give-aways?

Love yall!

Create.Your.Own.Footwear

[Photo by Glam Canyon]
Tape is an effective design solution. I remember when M.I.A. made a shirt out of electric tape, and when skanks started putting tape over their nips. It's good to see that this dude was able to make an innovative pair of sandals using medical tape.

Do u like Arts & Crafts? (the activity, not the record label)
I think it's good to express yourself, but I don't think you should make your own shoes without the proper orthopedic support. You should definitely spend $80 or more on shoes to make sure you get ample comfort and support.

Just because you made your own shoes doesn't mean they are more relevant or meaningful than a pair of dunks a little AZN kid could have made 4 u.

Every consumer good was made 4 a reason: 2 Make Ur Life Better.


Do u wear comfy shoes?
Or do u just like kute shoes?
Are Nikes that comfortable?
If you wore Chuck Taylors for a year of your life, should you expect to have re-constructive ankle surgery by the time you are 60?

Wanna make out?

Would you rather make out with some dude who has
a) a pierced tongue
b) a tongue that is permanently blue
c) a cute American Appy hoodie
d) an 'I just went to the beach' necklace
e) all of the above
f) I'm not a FGGT
g) People with tongue piercings have diseases
h) People with tongue piercings are bigger sluts than sluts with lower back tattoos
i) "Choose.Your.Own.Adventure"

[Photo by Kid Pappy]

What Would U Do?

If you could only wear one designer graphic t-shirt with Kanye West glasses on it for the rest of ur social life, which 1 would it be?

The Dim Mak Shirt with Kanye Glasses?


Or Perez Hilton's new line of designer crap?


I would trade my first born child for a duffel bag of designer t-shirts.


[Photos by Dance on Party On]

P0ST M0RE ALTERNATIVE CUM SHOTS

I wonder if guys blow a bigger, pinker load if you wrap a rosary around your wrist and wear a ring pop while you give a tugjob.


[Photo by Kid Paparazzi]

Am I Still an Electroblog?

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "No Age Got a 9.2 on Pitchfork (but I still don't '...":

okaaay so no age might suck, but i like the lo-fi punk movement in general. you listen to a lot of faggy electronic shit that only seems to make sense in the context of pre-gaming with alt bros on their way to cinespace.

Is music just like 'a personal choice,' or is there an absolute answer for a best type of music? I think if I keep blogging for like 10 years, I'll have an answer.


Here's a song that I love listening to with my alternative bros before we party at Cinespace. <3 Bloglectro <3

[MP3]
Alyoa It's Been Too Long (Lifelike Top Gun Remix)



Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/lifelikevulture

Buy the vinyl
http://www.dancerecords.com/artists/Alyoa

I heisted this song from
http://winniecooper.net/2008/05/very-realistic/

Alternative Yard Sales Are Opportunities to Give Your Personal Brand A Makeover

I am just a bro,
Looking to take my existence to the next level
Looking to take my personal brand to the next level
Looking to take my steez the next level
(Looking to find a graphic tee that no one else has)
At an alternative yard sale.


[Via DanceOnPartyOn]