[Photo from Hel Looks]

This is a post about how I h8 lil kids who have 2 much personality. Lil Douchebag Kids usually have wealthy parents. There is a father who makes a lot of money, and a mom who 'loves their kid to death.' This means they get to eat an unhealthy breakfast. Typically, male lil dbag kids have long hair and a 'California skater aesthetic.' These kids usually don't do well in school and (pretend to) have learning disabilities. However, these 'learning disabilities' are usually justified as 'having an active personality.' Teachers expect less from lil dbag kids because they know they will never have to worry about anything in life.

My son has an active personality. I let him grow his hair out, because he is different. He is beyond his years.

I just want my daughter 2 have 0 worries. I only want her 2 express herself + start dating at age 7. She will go through an alternative phase, but I am confident that she will end up mainstream by age 19.

I wish I could go back in time and convince my parents to 'let me show the world who I was' at a young age. I want to go back in time so that I could tell my parents about online boutiques for kidz so that I could have a more unique personal brand as a kid.

I want to be a lilBagBro. I don't want to be 'good at school.' I want to be good at being funny/expressive/being 'a breath of fresh air.'

I want to let people know that I might be from California, and that I might be a participant in Xtreme Sports. People need to know that I have an xtreme personality. I want to dress and smell like I am going to my first high school dance every day of the week. I want to merge 'cool' and 'post-casual' fashion. I want hair product.

I want 2 be a lil girl. I want to connect with my depressed mother [via shopping therapy]. I want to wear prints that single, saucy 32 year old women wear on 'girls nite out's + to their job as a receptionist.

"We have trouble concentrating in class. We do impressions of popular movies/television shows. Our parents don't let us drink soda/let us drink a lot of soda. We are 'hyperactive' and have a low reading level."

'We have a glorified hobby which our parents have branded us as 'being good at.' We pursue this hobby our whole lives', but end up not being very gifted at all. Our whole world will then fall apart, and we will attend college for 2 semesters at a local school. We will drop out and live in an apartment complex within 5 miles of our parents' house. We will drink cheep beer and post myspace photos. We will shop at the mall. We will be independent.'
-lil dbag kidz in the future

Should we do more to ban 'personality' in public elementary schools?
Are 'kidz with 2 much personality' growing up with an unhealthy perception of 'the world' + 'his or her own place in the world'?
Is adolescence a false extension of childhood?
Should I build a time machine to see how my life would have worked out if I had a stronger personal brand when I popped out of my mother's womb?