Sometimes things inspire me. I recently saw this crocheted replica penis suspended from a yarn thread belt harness, and I thought 'Wonder what my life would be like if I had one of those.' It's always a good sign when u wonder if something could make ur life better, kinda like when I got insanely jealous when my college roommate got an iPhone and a Macbook and I was stuck with a Razr and a Dell Desktop. I feel like a knitted penis might make my life better/easier. I might actually 'learn how to crochet' just to make this craft. I know that crotcheting is often something that entry level alts learn to express themselves/make lame hats+scarves, but it seems like a yarn cock might be sweet to create.

It's chill to have a 'real penis', since u can do stuff with it like urinate or 'tug off', but sometimes I feel like there would be less pressure on men if they had some sort of yarn-based art+craft generated penis. Think about how ur penis can get you into trouble:

• Implanting a baby in a girl
• getting an STD
• 'making poor decisions cuz ur thinking with ur peen'
• making love to the wrong person
• miscellaneous accident
• peeing ur pants
• make u look like a 'perv' when u 'get hard' in ur skinny jeans

I think life might be better if we could have some sort of 'replica peens'/sexual organs. Most men just see penis size as a social status symbol, so there has to be a way to create augmented realities 4 every1.  I feel like there would actually be a 'huge market' for this and not even just for aesthetic purposes. I understand that a lot of parents don't want their kids to receive free condoms ever, but a 'craft cock' might be the solution to everything.  If we could some how transition 'penis envy' into a fun accessory that men can customize, things would be better for teen boys who were 'still growing up' and men who were 'dissatisfied' with the size of their cumshooter.  There would also be less 'teen pregnancy' and less abortions, if yall think those are bad things.

Choose.Your.Own.Penis.

It would be sweet to be able to customize your craft penis. If I wanted a '12 inch erect African American cock', then I could buy some purple yarn and start crafting my new tweeter. If I wanted an 8 inch needle-dick, I could possibly just use some 'pasta' to create the ideal penis. If I wanted a post-ironic millimeter peter, then I could create an art+craft on the microscopic level and people would appreciate my artistic skills and attention to detail. Here is a 'missle head' cock that I recently constructed.

What would ur art+craft peen look like?
Questions for females: What does ur ideal peen look like? Would you ever make a penis for your loved one?

Really think this post would be cool if we could have 'an actual discussion' about sexual organs instead of just giggling about this type of stuff. It makes me sad that tweens will live their entire lives' exposed to hi-speed video porn, thinking that life is just one huge 'fuckfest.' Feel bad for women in 2day's society since a lot of men just see them as 'fuck dolls' without realizing it.  Sad that men just think with their peters and hurt women and hurt themselves.  Wish ppl would realize the consequences and dangers of sex, and chill in monogamous relationships.

Should I learn how to crochet, or should I just keep shopping at Am Appy?

This is a post encouraging alternative men to check their testicles for lumps.

* do the self-examination lying in a warm bath or while having a long shower, as this softens the skin of the scrotum (skin sac that holds the testicles), which makes it easier to feel the testicles inside.
* examine the scrotum, looking for any lumps on the skin or swellings inside.
* cradle the whole scrotum and testicles in the palm of your hand and feel the difference between the testicles. One is almost always larger and lying lower. This is completely normal.
* examine each testicle in turn, and then compare them with each other. Use both hands and gently roll each testicle between thumb and forefinger.
* Check for any lumps or swellings as both testicles should be smooth except where the duct that carries sperm to the penis, the epididymis, runs. This lies along the top and back of the testicle and normally feels bumpy.

I sincerely want my readers 2 be healthy. 'Health' (not the band) will become a very relevant topic on this blog as I move forward. I want 2 live 4evr.

Screen urself.

Sorta wish I had a yarn peepee bc yarn doesn't get the cancer. :-(
Don't wanna die.

Want my female readers to be safe, too.

Also important that the aging music critic bros 'get their prostates examined.'

Much like 'unEarthing a buzzband', early detection is critical.