The Justin BiebAlt has all of the good, wholesome looks of Justin Bieber, with a completely different, raw & edgy attitude. Instead of dressing in 'fresh hoodies', he was post-ironic vintage grunge gear. As opposed to using expensive shampoos, conditioners, gels and hairsprays, he lets sweat + natural oils sculpt his hair.

Wish I could be
the Justin BiebAlt

Photo by Fatale Femmes

It's sorta weird how 'Bieber Fever' took over America + Twitter for a while. It seems like he replaced the Jonas Brothers as 'the hot tween act.' I think ultimately the Jonas Brothers were a little bit too Christian to maintain their buzz. Justin Bieber is better because he is all about 'sex, relationships, and getting his tween pee pee hard.' That's something female tween fans want to hear a pop sensation sing about, so it was sweet that they got a big black man in the form of a lil white bro with swoopy hair.

From what I understand, part of Justin Bieber's marketability is that his hair is a meme. Not only does he produce MP3s, but his smile, face, and hair provide photo memes 'on the reg.'

He apparently was just a tween with a youtuber account, then Usher signed him because he was marginally talented and white. Little white girls buy tons of iTunes singles, so it seems like he is 'a perfect product.' Not sure about his shelf life, but he can probably 'bring in mad bank' for the next 1.5 years.

Maybe I'll grow my hair out into a sculpted bowl of beautiful, healthy hair. I feel like I might become a 'pussy magnet.'

Do u think it is better to be a mainstream Justin Bieber bro, or a Justin BiebAlt?
Which 1 gets you more 'hot chicks'?
Which 1 gets u 'more money'?
Which 1 gets u more 'alt cred'?

Wonder if it is 'alt' for men to blowdry their hair.

I feel like the Justin BiebAlt doesn't have to blowdry his hair. He doesn't wash it for days. He lets it get all gross and clumpy, but 'wears it proudly', like he's still the shit.

Just want to go out for pizza with Justin BiebAlt, maybe pick up some 'hot pussy' and make out with them with pepperoni breath. Gonna wash it all down with a Dr Pepper.

Do u know n e 1 with a Justin BiebAlt haircut?
Did u ever have a strategically swoopy bowl cut?
Should men maintain their hair?
How many times a week should u shampoo?
Do u regret not doing everything u could to 'score underaged sex' when it was still legal because you were under-aged?

Is Justin Bieber the next Michael Jackson?
Is Justin Bieber the most successful artist in the history of the internet? Or is it Lady Gaga / the Black Eyed Peas / David After Dentist / Tay Zonday?

Or is he 'just a little wigger meant to wet the panties of lil girls who sprouted their first pubes'?

Can people with curly hair be Justin Biebalts, or does their hair turn too clumpy?
Is Justin Bieber a 'winner of the genetic lottery' or is he gonna turn all gross after puberty, kinda like Jerry Maguire's hit child actor Jonathan Lipnicki?