Photo by Ian Witlen via SPIN

BroStepper: Yo, Skrill. Stop the music. I got something I've been meaning 2 do for a long time.
Skrillex: My Name Is Skrillex.

The Brostepper Brings his DubRaverBB on stage. She is confused, has no idea what is going on.

BroStepper: BB. I've been thinking a lot about us...
DubRave-BB: I was actually really enjoying that Skrillex show...
BroStepper: We've had a lot of fun on the Holy Ship, I feel like we're finally with our people.
DubRave-BB: Why did u stop the music? Can we have this conversation later?
BroStepper: I mean like, I REALLY love u... It's not the aluminum bottles of Bud Heavy talking
DubRave-BB: I think u have a drinking problem.
BroStepper: BABE. LISTEN 2 ME.
DubRave-BB: Ugh...
BroStepper: I mean, I just like REALLY, REALLY effing vibe 2 u.
DubRave-BB: I know, I know. Let's talk later plz.
BroStepper: U are the wompwomp in the beat of my heart. U are the bass that dropped in my life and changed my metaphorical DJ set. Without u, I am constant wah-wah, no stable vibes. I need you... That's why I wanted to ask you.

The Brostepper gets down on one knee. Takes out electro wedding ring.

DubRave-BB: OMG!!!!!!!
BroStepper: Babe. I really love you babe.
DubRave-BB: OMFG!!!!!
BroStepper: And I want you to be my...
DubRave-BB: ROTFOMGMAO!!!!
BroStepper: I want to go to every rave with u forever and drop molly with u...
DubRave-BB: OMGGGGG!!!!!
BroStepper: I want u to be my +1 for the rest of time...
DubRave-BB: U GOTTA BE FREAGGIN KIDDING ME!
BroStepper: When I'm with u, I just feel like I'm always in the VIP section
DubRave-BB: LOLMG!!
BroStepper: U held my hand when I started to cry when I got that tattoo
DubRave-BB: ME??????
BroStepper: And I asked ur dad, and he told me that I didn't have stable income, and he encouraged me to get a stable job, but I don't care, because I know we can be happy....
DubRave-BB: BABE!
BroStepper: Will u be my wife?
DubRave-BB: Yes!

Skrillex begins to play a meaningful dubstep track.

BroStepper: This is our long drive, bb.
DubRave-BB: Sigh...
BroStepper: Tonight, we have it all...
DubRave-BB: Tonight, we have eachother...
BroStepper: This must be para, para, paradise [via the Coldplays]
DubRave-BB: When I was a young girl, I always imagined that this is how my true love would ask me to marry me. I'm not one for romanticism, but right now, I know that you are my soulmate.
BroStepper: God Bless Us, every relevant dubstream electrocouple.

The night rolled on, and Skrillex played an amazing set. The newly engaged couple both did molly. The DubRave-BB ended up making out with a relevant DJ. BroStepper was devastated. He started getting AGGRO with his dubBros, and they were kicked out of the nightclub. They managed to start a fight with the bouncers, and were nearly beaten to death. As he made his way back to his room, he contemplated throwing himself off the Holy Ship. He decided against it. He knew that one day, he would find true DubLove again.

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Lists: indie hunks, Producers, electro, dubstep

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