Anonymous has left a new comment on your post “ALT, ALTer, & ALTest”:
POST MORE ALT BROS
I’m really happy that Alternative Bros were welcomed with open arms. While we usually focus on slutz, AZNs, and GHEYz, we should never overlook the social importance of the the straight, unmemorable male. When packs of alternative bros hang out, and enjoy things together, they are working to make alternative experiences (such as parties and concerts) more meaningful, without the pitfalls of ending up in a Long Term Relationship.
Alternative Bros are not solitary dudes. Bros roam in packs. They value their brohood. Bros probably don’t have girlfriends, so they value the herd. It’s kind of like how fish swim in schools to look like a shark (sorry, not a life sciences major).
Is this guy an alternative bro? Probably not.
Is he on his way to a Donnie Darko 2 audition?
Alternative bros are usually hanging out with other bros. While they value their bro-hood, they are all competing for the same goal, which can sometimes strain their friendship. Bros value one another, but they also want their night to end with the soft tug of a woman.
When photographed, alternative bros show a range of emotions. Some popular ones include:
“I am inherently meaningful.”
“My lifestyle am not just a phase. Culture and fashion have finally caught up to me & I am proud of my generation. We are special. We have the internet.”
“Love me… I’m so sick of my bros.”
“These are my bros. We are destined for big things where we express ourselves artistically, and get rich for doing so.”
“I am a bro with facial hair. This is me.”
What do you think is the most important part of being an alternative bro?
[Pictures by Shoot the night]
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IAmCarles.com
36 Comments
that first guy looks like he’s made of talcum powder
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First!
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playing halo 2
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The most important part of being an alternative bro is balancing your bro-hood with your sex life. You must never leave the bros, but you must please the ladies and remain un-whipped.
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Alt-Bros before Alt-Hos
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Great Leonard Nemoy Reference btw
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the most important part of being an alternative bro is to differentiate yourself from every other person in your vicinity, whilst still ensuring to appear the most popular person in the world
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rolling with 3-5 alt bros is like being in a band. each bro fills a roll and together, they function as one nearly complete human being (at least at parties.) there has to be a record collector/dj music nerd bro, a snarky and clever bro (to keep the other bros and ladies laughing,) and a pretty/bangable bro who usually leads the way when it comes to fashion as well. Other potential bro-archetypes include:
1. crazy/violent/self-destructive bro
2. ghey bro
3. rockr bro
4. “street” bro
5. coke dealer bro
Of course it isn’t unheard of for 3-5 of the SAME archetype to all hang out together either, which can be extremely creepy.
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this is boring.
my best friend leslie said oh she’s just being miley.
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talcum powder or paper mache.
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alt bros make my panties drip
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“It’s like searching 4 meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”
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post more slutty AZNs and FNGRBNGNG
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how did orthodox jew bro get in that last picture?
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inspired by ^^^anonymous
“so okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on! it looks like they just fell out of bed, and put on [their grandmother's prescription glasses], took their greasy hair, and covered it up in some [alternative/ironic headpiece], and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t THINK so!!!!”
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POST (MUCH) HOTTER ALT BROS, plz
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ALT BROS = $00000 H0000TTTTT
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I luv above anon 4 responding 2 my ‘Clueless’ quote
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being in an alt bro pack is awsome, the ladies drool, and even the big-dudes-that-could-kick-your-ass-since-you-did-steal-their-girls respect since they don’t want to mess with your fresh clothes or ruin the life of the party.
alt bro packs getting internet cred!
good post keep ‘em coming
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human interest piece?
next could you sociologically classify the hierarchy of modern society as it’s influenced by the media? just wondering. Carles, which alt bro would you be?
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um ALT BRO HOES, anyone?
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Is this the same hipster runoff? Something is different. Maybe.
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half azn alt bros are the best
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Plz post more altbro on bro photos.
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alt bros r fucking ghey and think they´re so special, even if they´re 1 mio. ppl looking the same. just maybe not in their neighborhood.
Post more pics of ppl who r being theirselves!!
and MORE AZN SLUTZ & FNGRBNGNG
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the three alt bros were hot! they look even better together than they would seperatley..
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when words are misspelled, i wonder if the [mis]spelling is ironic
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I saw the first one in the Madame Tussauds.
Left guy it s nice, he looks clever something very unusual between alt bros. Middle will be working like a generalist extra in Broadway. Right is disgusting.
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how ’bout some straight alt bros?
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well, the first is a really sweet and nice dude.
and ghey.
not really bro material.
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bro! bro!
ghey!
i just found this site!
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rolling with 3-5 alt bros is like being in a band. each bro fills a roll and together, they function as one nearly complete human being (at least at parties.) there has to be a record collector/dj music nerd bro, a snarky and clever bro (to keep the other bros and ladies laughing,) and a pretty/bangable bro who usually leads the way when it comes to fashion as well. Other potential bro-archetypes include:
1. crazy/violent/self-destructive bro
2. ghey bro
3. rockr bro
4. “street” bro
5. coke dealer bro
Of course it isn’t unheard of for 3-5 of the SAME archetype to all hang out together either, which can be extremely creepy.
qft
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Can we discuss the possibility of Altbro-Lites? I feel like altbro-lites would have a girlfriend (not always seeking a nightly mate), and possess mainstream tendencies (My Chemical Romance as a guilty pleasure). Altbro style without the altbro mentality. These exist…
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umm criminal castle….i remember clueless and i think the way you reworked this quote and claimed it as your own is very disappointing to all those who remember all the iconic quotes that Cher facilitated.
tsk tsk tsk
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You are forgetting the sneaky subset of ghey altbros. Is he really longing the soft tug of a woman? Or the strong pull of a man?
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Lacrosse playing hipster dj bro…possible?
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