>

Happy 4th Of July (yall)!


Hope yall are having a good day celebrating how America is the #1 country in the world. I have been blogging [LIVE] from a picnic today, and I had a little bit of extra table cloth left over from our picnic table. Fortunately, I gave it to this alt bro so he could make an [EXCLUSIVE] Palestinian scarf. I spilled a lil bit of mustard on it, but I think he must have SHOUTed it Out.

[Photo by Facehunter]

But seriously, yall. America is the best country in the world. I don’t rlly care if I alienate my alt readers from England, Australia, France, or Mexico. America is responsible for a lot of important alt culture. Without America, foreign bands wouldn’t have a place to sell out & get truly commodified. In addition, most blogs and magazines are written in American language. American is the international language of the internet, so all of yall need to be thankful that your countries let you speak it.

America also has more impressionable tweens than any 1 else. I know there’s a lot of weirdo European kids, and Japanese kids, but American kids are the best. They will grow up and make society a better place after they get their degree in Photoshop with a minor in iMovie HD.

America is kind of like the Girl Talk of countries. It is s0 mainstream and alt at the same time. It’s beautiful. From the suburbs to the metropolitan areas, we are united as alts. When the world ends in 2012, every country will look back and wish they were a little bit more American.

MSSN F*CKNG @CCMPLSHD

Who should America go to War with next?
a) Iran
b) China (during the Olympics)
c) the southern part of America (remix)
d) ally with Australia and nuke France
e) Japanese teenagers in shuttershades
f) Bombay, India (stop stealing our jobs, yall!)
g) Scandinavia
h) Africa
i) any where that has brown-ish poeple
j) emo Mexican kids
k) rich Brazilians like CSS
l) CANADA
m) Iceland (we will start the war by kidnapping Sigur Ros and Bjork)
n) Choose.Your.Own.Country+Alt reference

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

47 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 10:25 pm | Permalink

    C!

    Reply

  2. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 10:39 pm | Permalink

    We never got in a real, good war with russia. Plus, they have vodka and hot chicks.

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 10:43 pm | Permalink

    C
    E
    G
    J
    L x 100000
    M
    and Russia just for shits and giggles

    Reply

  4. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 10:49 pm | Permalink

    zomg let’s go to war with rich Brazilian kids, they piss me off so much. think they know everything. such alt wannabes

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 11:14 pm | Permalink

    are pleated pants alt??

    Reply

  6. mave
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 11:18 pm | Permalink

    perhaps I’m biased, because I’ve never been a fan of the united snakes, but I’d LOVE to see america go to war with… AMERICA. that would be pure entertainment.

    Reply

  7. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

    liiiiiiiiike a ‘civil’ war?

    Reply

  8. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 11:44 pm | Permalink

    Those pleats are on some real next-lev shit.

    Plus: Russia! Cold war is so 80s retro

    Reply

  9. Anonymous
    Posted July 4, 2008 at 11:59 pm | Permalink

    go to war against bad nipple placement…. the human tragedy of our generation

    Reply

  10. MY<3<3Z META4Z
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 12:41 am | Permalink

    N) CUBA
    AND MAKE IT A 24/7 OFF SHORE DISCO PARTY

    Reply

  11. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 12:48 am | Permalink

    amerifags can go eat a big bag of dicks imo.

    Reply

  12. AMERICA
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 1:16 am | Permalink

    MISSION FUCKING ACCOMPLISHED!!!

    Reply

  13. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 1:28 am | Permalink

    they gonna attack iran. then it will be world war 3. then you will round up motherfuckers like you and SLAP YOU FOR FUN.

    Reply

  14. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:23 am | Permalink

    4th OF JULY ELECTRO MADNESS IN SAN FRANCISCO TONIGHT!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/youngbloodzparty

    Sorry for advertising but we were inspired by your patriotism.

    FUCK YEAH.

    Reply

  15. Quack esq.
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:32 am | Permalink

    We can initiate the Electro wars against France. military attire designed by Dim Mak.

    Reply

  16. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:34 am | Permalink

    Wheb I’n kookib for u i cakk ur nummwe but kant get thru …… mmmmmmmmmmmm booozzze… mmmmmm booozeee… bud worksss good

    Reply

  17. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:42 am | Permalink

    im trying to imagine a new civil war. hipsters v. aging rust belt workers. that’d be fun

    Reply

  18. l3m4nt
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:51 am | Permalink

    Bomb the axis of stepdad-jeans!!

    Reply

  19. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:54 am | Permalink

    HRO comments read like such a sausage party these days. sad.

    Reply

  20. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:01 am | Permalink

    yeah america sux…but not as much as every other country on the planet

    Reply

  21. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:03 am | Permalink

    i) any where that has brown-ish poeple

    Reply

  22. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:33 am | Permalink

    whoaaa……i wonder what would happen if we allied w/ austtilla and nuked france vry weird and random……..i tihnk da onlyy reasaon we would fight is…….we hav nothing elas 2 do!!!!!

    Reply

  23. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:35 am | Permalink

    i rily like da comment tht tht was all like whoaaa so random u r not altr at all!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  24. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 4:01 am | Permalink

    home of the brave & alt’sh bitch’s!

    Reply

  25. alt dodger fan
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 5:21 am | Permalink

    the san francisco giants

    Reply

  26. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 5:23 am | Permalink

    juss get it over with and admit ur a chik

    Reply

  27. badkharmala
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 5:42 am | Permalink

    carles and a few of you anons are still holding it together. everything else is getting way too MNSTRM around here.

    Reply

  28. badkharmala
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 5:44 am | Permalink

    btw i’m really happy some of you brought up the pleats, that was the first thing i wanted to CMMNT about too. this guy is about as pleaty as you get, and not in a good way.

    Reply

  29. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    what’s this new language… american? s0 alt. i can’t keep up. i wish i could speak americant. it’s just fcckin english without vwls btchs!

    Reply

  30. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Could always just go to war with Steve Aoki & Mumjeans, don’t think anyone would object to that.

    Nope, wont be needing a UN resolution to invade them fuckers!

    Reply

  31. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 10:56 am | Permalink

    for me, the most irritating people are those cmmntrs who use names and pics like they want to get established and piggy back off HRO. part of the joy is everyone being anon. go fuck urself mave etcetc

    yeahyeahyeah i know, off topic but whatevvzzzzzz it still bugs me

    Reply

  32. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    is this a post about justice?

    Reply

  33. George Alt Bush
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    naw, u hipster runoffs (blggr & cmmntrs) should know that

    AMERIKA WILL WIN THE ELECTRO WAR!

    It’s time to stop all these FGGT french electromen terrorizing our american cunts!

    Reply

  34. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm | Permalink

    america h8erz can SUCK IT!

    we gonna go 2 war w/ all yall and hammer you all in tha nutz with our FREEDOM.

    p.s. even tho we totally could whomp they asses with a light sprinkling of confetti and a fog machine, we can’t go to war with canada. we might accidentally kill feist’s parents! that would be sad. : (

    Reply

  35. someanonymousuglyFGGT
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

    cmmntn anon is FGGT shit when u know u have a blogger acct! but..if ur ass ugly i understand

    Reply

  36. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    I HAVE A BLOG, YOU LOOK AT MY BLOG NOW, OK? I COMMENT ON BLOGS- YAY!

    Reply

  37. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 4:47 pm | Permalink

    borat?

    Reply

  38. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    american = english = germanic = tokio hotel
    in your face bitch

    Reply

  39. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

    Anonymous said…
    i rily like da comment tht tht was all like whoaaa so random u r not altr at all!!!!!!!!

    WHAT A FUCKING ANNOYING THING TO SAY

    Reply

  40. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    it sounds like the war is between anon commenters!
    cant we all just get along yall?

    Reply

  41. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    <3 cmmntrs
    don’t fite yall

    Reply

  42. Anonymous
    Posted July 5, 2008 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

    c) the southern part of America (remix)

    Reply

  43. Anonymous
    Posted July 6, 2008 at 11:58 am | Permalink

    xnewzealandx. just so aussies can officially claim russel crowe and ladyhawke as their own when they take over the reigns from the u.s. peace keepers in 2016

    Reply

  44. Anonymous
    Posted July 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    nayggers

    Reply

  45. j
    Posted July 6, 2008 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    Are these alt?

    http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/9366/fireworks23jl8.jpg

    Reply

  46. Anonymous
    Posted July 6, 2008 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

    american kids come to germany and think hitler is still ruling here… they ask if we have clean water and behave like total FGGTS! at least the ones from wiscosington or whatever that place´s name was.
    L.A. or NYC and other cool cities are good fot alts though, but I don´t think I could live in one of those redneck-farmer countries (with stupid neighbors having BBQ every weekend and 5 guns in the closet)
    besides yall seem to think that the army is dope =O

    peace.

    Reply

  47. Anonymous
    Posted July 7, 2008 at 12:15 am | Permalink

    don’t worry America we will always have ur back……australia

    Reply

Post a Comment, Yall!

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*