Hope yall are having a good day celebrating how America is the #1 country in the world. I have been blogging [LIVE] from a picnic today, and I had a little bit of extra table cloth left over from our picnic table. Fortunately, I gave it to this alt bro so he could make an [EXCLUSIVE] Palestinian scarf. I spilled a lil bit of mustard on it, but I think he must have SHOUTed it Out.
[Photo by Facehunter]
But seriously, yall. America is the best country in the world. I don’t rlly care if I alienate my alt readers from England, Australia, France, or Mexico. America is responsible for a lot of important alt culture. Without America, foreign bands wouldn’t have a place to sell out & get truly commodified. In addition, most blogs and magazines are written in American language. American is the international language of the internet, so all of yall need to be thankful that your countries let you speak it.
America also has more impressionable tweens than any 1 else. I know there’s a lot of weirdo European kids, and Japanese kids, but American kids are the best. They will grow up and make society a better place after they get their degree in Photoshop with a minor in iMovie HD.
America is kind of like the Girl Talk of countries. It is s0 mainstream and alt at the same time. It’s beautiful. From the suburbs to the metropolitan areas, we are united as alts. When the world ends in 2012, every country will look back and wish they were a little bit more American.
MSSN F*CKNG @CCMPLSHD
Who should America go to War with next?
a) Iran
b) China (during the Olympics)
c) the southern part of America (remix)
d) ally with Australia and nuke France
e) Japanese teenagers in shuttershades
f) Bombay, India (stop stealing our jobs, yall!)
g) Scandinavia
h) Africa
i) any where that has brown-ish poeple
j) emo Mexican kids
k) rich Brazilians like CSS
l) CANADA
m) Iceland (we will start the war by kidnapping Sigur Ros and Bjork)
n) Choose.Your.Own.Country+Alt reference
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IAmCarles.com
47 Comments
C!
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We never got in a real, good war with russia. Plus, they have vodka and hot chicks.
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C
E
G
J
L x 100000
M
and Russia just for shits and giggles
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zomg let’s go to war with rich Brazilian kids, they piss me off so much. think they know everything. such alt wannabes
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are pleated pants alt??
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perhaps I’m biased, because I’ve never been a fan of the united snakes, but I’d LOVE to see america go to war with… AMERICA. that would be pure entertainment.
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liiiiiiiiike a ‘civil’ war?
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Those pleats are on some real next-lev shit.
Plus: Russia! Cold war is so 80s retro
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go to war against bad nipple placement…. the human tragedy of our generation
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N) CUBA
AND MAKE IT A 24/7 OFF SHORE DISCO PARTY
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amerifags can go eat a big bag of dicks imo.
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MISSION FUCKING ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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they gonna attack iran. then it will be world war 3. then you will round up motherfuckers like you and SLAP YOU FOR FUN.
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4th OF JULY ELECTRO MADNESS IN SAN FRANCISCO TONIGHT!!!
http://www.myspace.com/youngbloodzparty
Sorry for advertising but we were inspired by your patriotism.
FUCK YEAH.
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We can initiate the Electro wars against France. military attire designed by Dim Mak.
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Wheb I’n kookib for u i cakk ur nummwe but kant get thru …… mmmmmmmmmmmm booozzze… mmmmmm booozeee… bud worksss good
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im trying to imagine a new civil war. hipsters v. aging rust belt workers. that’d be fun
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Bomb the axis of stepdad-jeans!!
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HRO comments read like such a sausage party these days. sad.
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yeah america sux…but not as much as every other country on the planet
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i) any where that has brown-ish poeple
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whoaaa……i wonder what would happen if we allied w/ austtilla and nuked france vry weird and random……..i tihnk da onlyy reasaon we would fight is…….we hav nothing elas 2 do!!!!!
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i rily like da comment tht tht was all like whoaaa so random u r not altr at all!!!!!!!!
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home of the brave & alt’sh bitch’s!
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the san francisco giants
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juss get it over with and admit ur a chik
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carles and a few of you anons are still holding it together. everything else is getting way too MNSTRM around here.
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btw i’m really happy some of you brought up the pleats, that was the first thing i wanted to CMMNT about too. this guy is about as pleaty as you get, and not in a good way.
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what’s this new language… american? s0 alt. i can’t keep up. i wish i could speak americant. it’s just fcckin english without vwls btchs!
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Could always just go to war with Steve Aoki & Mumjeans, don’t think anyone would object to that.
Nope, wont be needing a UN resolution to invade them fuckers!
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for me, the most irritating people are those cmmntrs who use names and pics like they want to get established and piggy back off HRO. part of the joy is everyone being anon. go fuck urself mave etcetc
yeahyeahyeah i know, off topic but whatevvzzzzzz it still bugs me
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is this a post about justice?
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naw, u hipster runoffs (blggr & cmmntrs) should know that
AMERIKA WILL WIN THE ELECTRO WAR!
It’s time to stop all these FGGT french electromen terrorizing our american cunts!
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america h8erz can SUCK IT!
we gonna go 2 war w/ all yall and hammer you all in tha nutz with our FREEDOM.
p.s. even tho we totally could whomp they asses with a light sprinkling of confetti and a fog machine, we can’t go to war with canada. we might accidentally kill feist’s parents! that would be sad. : (
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cmmntn anon is FGGT shit when u know u have a blogger acct! but..if ur ass ugly i understand
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I HAVE A BLOG, YOU LOOK AT MY BLOG NOW, OK? I COMMENT ON BLOGS- YAY!
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borat?
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american = english = germanic = tokio hotel
in your face bitch
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Anonymous said…
i rily like da comment tht tht was all like whoaaa so random u r not altr at all!!!!!!!!
WHAT A FUCKING ANNOYING THING TO SAY
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it sounds like the war is between anon commenters!
cant we all just get along yall?
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<3 cmmntrs
don’t fite yall
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c) the southern part of America (remix)
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xnewzealandx. just so aussies can officially claim russel crowe and ladyhawke as their own when they take over the reigns from the u.s. peace keepers in 2016
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nayggers
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Are these alt?
http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/9366/fireworks23jl8.jpg
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american kids come to germany and think hitler is still ruling here… they ask if we have clean water and behave like total FGGTS! at least the ones from wiscosington or whatever that place´s name was.
L.A. or NYC and other cool cities are good fot alts though, but I don´t think I could live in one of those redneck-farmer countries (with stupid neighbors having BBQ every weekend and 5 guns in the closet)
besides yall seem to think that the army is dope =O
peace.
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don’t worry America we will always have ur back……australia
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