I don’t ‘get’ female singers that don’t rlly play instruments

I don’t really understand how there is this desire for ‘women with good voices’ who are ‘more authentic than females who sing dancey pop songs.’ A lot of these women come from Britain. I feel like this type of ‘women with a good voice and an approachable, not-as-slutty-as-most-female-singer image’ are for girls who need a female voice to empathize with when they aren’t going out on a Saturday night while listening to songs by BSpears/Rihanna/other-dance-pop-hit-of-the-month.

So I guess the world needs female artists because ~50% of the world = female. Is that true any more, or did global warming melt any females away? I think it’s easier for women to empathize with a male voice that sings for them than it is for a man to truly identify with a female who is singing. It’s like of like the ’sad girls listen to Fiona Apple bc she is the only 1 who understands the depths of their sadness’ theory.

Is it fun for girls to simulate identifying with lyrics from a band like the Teenagers, or something else that degrades women for their inherent shortcomings when it comes to integrating into a generic/complex Bro’s life?

BUT SRSLY…what’s the deal with all of these female singers who female markets need as a counterbalance to the dancey-gimmicky-Britt-Spearsy artists?

LILY ALLEN

I’ve never heard one of her songs. I know she has pink hair sometimes. Is she good? Does she sing about love or relationships or something?

AMY WINEHOUSE

She sang the song about not wanting 2 go 2 rehab that was produced by some guy who is rlly good at making music. She apparently has a good voice (since if u sound like a black woman from the 40s, u have a good voice). I feel like her record label should have put her into some sort of Christian classes to try to get her life 2gether.

What kind of people attend concerts for this type of female artist? Do they enjoy ‘hearing LIVE what they usually hear on their car stereo’? Do they love seeing a woman stand in front of a mic and ‘have rlly good stage presence’? I just think that in the modern economy where there is too much crap to do, ‘going to appreciate a woman with a good voice’ just isn’t a good option for people any more.

It’s interesting how AmyCore Winehouse could have been ’so legit’ since she won a Grammy (that matters to consumers who don’t know anything about music since it means they are allowed/feel entitled to appreciate something in a word-of-mouth marketing kind of way) but now it’s just kind of funnie to post pictures of her because she is malnourished/eventually going 2 die/has problems but no1 intervenes, etc.
SRSLY tho… when is she going to die? Is it gonna be sad? With Heath Ledger, it came as a surprise, but I feel like finding out Amy Winehouse died would be like finding out ‘gas prices r rlly high.’ Just something u accept, and move forward with.

Maybe if she had braces and got a BF at an early age, she wouldn’t have n e problems.
<3 fitting in & feeling luvd/special <3
<3 Long Term Relaishes: The World’s Anti-Drug <3

DUFFY

I don’t know where the hell this broad came from, and I will NEVER listen to one of her songs. She looks like a 27 year old woman who is still ‘looking for Mr Right & wants to have a kid soon, but has outrageous personal issues that end all of her relationships within 8 months.’

ADELE

Another British broad who I don’t really understand. Do you think that if a female singer is a little bit thick, consumers feel better about liking them, kind of like if they had a fat/ugly friend whose personality they valued, so they felt like they were doing a public service by being affiliated with them?

BETH DITTO

She’s theoretically in a band, but I think she has used the ‘fat ugly’ gimmick masterfully to ‘make people think they should appreciate her in an authentic kind-of-way.’

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

I wonder why Scarly Johanny didn’t make a bigger push to break into this genre of ‘women who sing but don’t play any instruments.’ She really could have ‘been something.’ Maybe we’re all just a lil lost in translaishy after all…

JOSS STONE

I feel like there are some artists who don’t deserve to be known about by so many people. What did she sing? What did she do to deserve being in the spotlight besides sounding like a dude-lady and looking like a tranny?

KATY PERRY

I feel like she has done the best job of any female artist in history of walking the alt-mainstream divide without making either demographic feel like she is unapproachable. I haven’t listened to her music, but it is apparently fueled with lyrics that people in the year 2007/2008 can really identify with/think are edgy & progressive.

BUT SRSLY…
What’s the deal with women who =
‘good singers’ + ‘have a more serious image than sexie female pop artists’ + ‘are mildly critically acclaimed/buzzed about’ + ‘appeal to girls who drive around listening to mainstream music that they think makes them cultured/informed/appreciative of the arts/like a natural woman/like a woman who is their friend is singing about them.’

Did I miss any artists?
(besides Shawn Colvin [Did Sonny ever come home?])

I wish we could go back to the days of the Lilith Fair, when women in music were authentic and cared about only identifying with other beautiful women.