I’ll never forget my first battle in the France Vs. Australia Electro War of 2k8. I was s0 nervous–felt kind of like my first high school dance b4 I got backed into a long-term relationship. I threw up the fruity drink I had ordered at Chili’s to calm my nerves.
We were led by General Alton Livestrong (We just called him General Alt). He was a courageous man who had actually fought in the ‘Operation Kill-the-Brownies Crusades’ of 2002.
N e ways, I always thought he was kind of fruity since he had a big mop of hair was kind of curly, but he always made sure to have a ‘dreamy, swoopy part’ going over one of his eyes. He led us out to battle, kind of like they do in the film Braveheart, and he said he had been meaning to tell us something, and that he felt comfortable telling us because he knew we would love him no matter what–even if he participated in alternative lifestyle.
Anyways, he basically told us that he was a FGGT, but we already kind of knew because he listened to a lot of straightforward-entrylevel-faggy + obvious faggy electro that was popular 8 months ago. Also, we were all wearing our NEON FOOTSOLDIER gear, and he decided to dress like Coldplay/SigurRos/other FGGTs in bands. I guess he just wanted to make sure every1 knew he was ‘an individual’ or something. SRSLY though, who still wears colonial army uniforms?
Note: This is the camouflage featured on our uniforms (designed by Marc [via Marc Jacobs])
General Alt also painted his nails and wore fuzzy Livestrong bracelets.
N e ways, we lost the battle, and like s00 many people died on both sides. It was kind of sad, because when I killed a man, I realized that we had both illegally downloaded the new Ratatat album from the same zShare file.
I guess maybe we all are the same. I guess we should have put down our electro-lighting bolt daggers, and learned how to bond while listening to a remix of a Ladyhawke song, or something else that is meaningful, uplifting, and urgent.
[Photo by The Facehunter]
xx BONUS xx
Seen n e kute Human Mashups lately?
This Human Mashup combines Internet Banner Ad Artist Andy Warhol with Icelandic Weirdo Bjork.
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IAmCarles.com
24 Comments
why d0es everybody look like a tranny these days?
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Disagreeing with your ‘human mash up’
more like Garth Algar with one of the Crash test dummies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7la_7P7H8Wg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5h2NF2xMYI
Party time excellent?
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Ahh. General Alt was a hottiee.
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post more alt sluts.
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hey its that chris martin costume
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What the fuck Carles?
Your posts are all shitty and then all of a sudden you write something totally fucking awesome.
So are you SHITTY or AWESOME?
Will you make up your fucking mind so I’ll know whether to check your bl0g or not?
PS: General Alt = Weird hands bro.
Bjorky Warhol = H1GHLY B@NG@BLE
Tug me tonight, for I go off to war tomorrow…
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In the end France won. Normal.
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I just checked out this blog after being linked to it from pitchfork
you all seem gay and have bad taste in music
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I’m thinking Kurt Cobain meets Michelle Pfeiffer in batman before she turns into catwoman…
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Does anyone else get this sudden urge to go swimming? Don’t know what it is, I don’t normally like swimming
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carles. you made me LOL hard and ur pics make me TUG hard. mum came in to tell me dinner was ready, but i didnt stop
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I like how gen. alt’s nails match the petunias. expert use of the camouflage technique. and is that berry lip gloss he’s rocking?
he can lead me into FGGTY electro battle with his battery powered dryer w/ diffuser any day.
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WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG…….
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totally agree was anon 12:08.
shitty or awesome?
the question remains.
best p0st in awyl.
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just your title alone on this one made my day, I can’t wait until you get your own movie based on your universe created within your blog, like after icanhasacheezber goes big with lolcatz 1 &2 your next inline,
“My General Led Us Into Battle @ The Electro War, then Told Us he Was a FGGT”
also you could have a army of blipster’s that resemble
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http://dopo.aaronvb.com/photo?i=2673978282&sid=72157606153048551
ala george lucas’s clone wars saga
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hahaha internet banner ad artist andy warhol
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put the niggsters on the front lines, while we just push buttons
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whats the difference between the french and toast?
you can make soldiers out of toast.
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what makes me alt cool – i discovered myspace in winter 2005
what makes me not alt cool – i discovered it because billy corgan had a myspace and i wanted to be friends with him
what makes me less alt cool – i’m still friends with him
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This was a good post, for real.
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“Internet Banner Ad Artist Andy Warhol”
..that made my pee a little and I’m currently panty-less. Now my chair is slippery.
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haha
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theres sum gurrl @ oberlin who looks like that hotttie mashup
im lyke…so glad i go to a hipster school
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Gold. Pure gold.
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