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PurgatoryBro


[Gade Mode ]
Sometimes, you can’t really identify what sort of ‘look’ some one is trying to accomplish.

They make u ask questions to try to figure out the ultimate question: “WHAT IS THIS BRO ALL ABOUT?”

  • Is he from another planet?
  • Did he just get a gift certificate to Hot Topic?
  • Is he attending some sort of alt Irish funeral?
  • Is he a weirdo European/South American?
  • What’s the deal with the free-spirited bracelets?
  • Is he going to a DropKickMurphies concert?
  • Does he cut all of his jeans into cuffed-yet-frayed jorts in order to show off his collection of post-quirky dress socks?

Basically, this bro’s personal brand is stuck in purgatory. He cannot decide who he wants to be. He is PurgatoryBro.

Here is a flow chart representing your self-concept, and how it can ascend into heaven (altness), or end up in hell.

What does heaven mean 2 u?
Who is stuck in hell?
Doesn’t it suck that we all have 2 walk the Earth as mainstreamers b4 we can ascend into altness? (Even lil alts who are sculpted by their parents experience at least 48 hours of being mainstream b4 they are dressed like lil alts.)
Is G-d a man or a woman?

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28 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 4:25 pm | Permalink

    in hell metrostation fuck u in the ass frever more

    Reply

  2. Lukas
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:10 pm | Permalink

    I’m scared 2 die, CRLS : (
    what if I go 2 HELL and become LinkinPark-core, because I didn’t wear enough Am Appy in “life”?

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:14 pm | Permalink

    God is an asexual cloud with a smiley face. Duh.

    What's worse is when parents encourage their kids to be mainstream. My mother often tries to give my American Appy to goodwill. Then she tells me to wear my old mainstream clothes (Hollister, A&F) and asks "why don't you dress 'cute' anymore??"

    Yesterday I was wearing wayfarers and she told me they were the ugliest glasses she had ever seen. So she handed me a pair of massive white sunglasses I had never seen. I looked like a MNSTRMR. It was a nightmare. Naturally, I threw the glasses across the room and yelled at my mother for being such a close-minded fascist.

    People should NEVER take for granted their free-spirited parents. I will epitomize Alt-Mom so my kids won't have to go through what I did.

    Reply

  4. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:15 pm | Permalink

    why is he wearing a belt and suspenders? i find most hipsters have horrible fashion sense.

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    PurgatoryBro, with his quirky accessories and styling choices, is in the emerging market of ‘Alt-Irish Retro Bros’ who are free spirited enough to wear homemade jewelry and carry a bag yet still masculine enough to get drunk with his band after a local all-ages show and get into a fistfight with the local skinheads/hardcore bros.

    Yet his one mistake was his choice of shoes. His unidentifiable gray sneakers show he’s 95% committed to his personal brand but hasn’t yet taken the final step of choosing which shoes best complement his style of authentic altness. IMO, his best options are the Quirky Colored Converse or Interesting Print Converse (weekday wear optional.)

    Reply

  6. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:04 pm | Permalink

    if those are an early issue of quirky eco-friendly simple brand sneakers then this bro is taking alt preparedness to the next level. it is rare these days to find a bro who says it all, and all at the same time, without saying any thing.

    this is G.I. BRO. he is down for any thing.

    Reply

  7. fake haiku
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    this bro is soooo FGGT

    anon 1214 getting soooo vulnerable

    wut if G-d wuz 1 of us?

    Reply

  8. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:44 pm | Permalink

    I was looking at blogs last night and witnessed the birth of http://www.HipsterCoughUp.com Check out the Blog on Fixed Gear Bikers.

    Reply

  9. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:47 pm | Permalink

    I would go as far as saying this is the west coasts version of Hipster Run off this guy is based out California somewhere.

    Reply

  10. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    is it still alt to say “it’s so not alt to post on hro anymore”?

    Reply

  11. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 6:55 pm | Permalink

    no

    Reply

  12. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 7:00 pm | Permalink

    alt heaven: in the eventuality of watching TV, not relating to any advert carefully crafted for generic target groups…

    i’m grateful to my mum for this, if it wasn’t her stimulus i’d be a mnstrm hoar

    Reply

  13. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

    d00d someone is ripping of hro

    Reply

  14. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

    he’s a borderline scenester and therefore goes straight to HELL

    Reply

  15. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 7:46 pm | Permalink

    blog about people who comment as anons to plug their own blogs!

    Reply

  16. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 7:56 pm | Permalink

    “blog about people who comment as anons to plug their own blogs!”

    OMG SRSLY

    Reply

  17. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    i believe hipster cough up is more about hating on people who think there cool like the guy who invented hipster run off. Hip is relative to the pretentious dicks around you. if you thought hipster runoff was ever actually cool you are delusional this is a blog people. Blogs are far from cool.

    Reply

  18. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    hipster coughup … it worries me – if someone that retarded can enjoy HRO enough to make a weak talentless copycat blog, what does that say about the peeps who enjoy and laugh at most posts on here, including myself?

    HRO = Bigger than Addy Sandler in 2k9?

    Reply

  19. Anonymous
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    i saw a BRO TIE version of this very same dude at a bar yesterday eating a salad with chopsticks and wearing high water pants and argyle socks in 92 degree weather. my entry-level alt friends and i mocked him and talked about how much we luv chili’s.

    p.s. is there an alt-patron saint who can speed up our journey(z) to altness????

    Reply

  20. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 2:49 am | Permalink

    yes yes, heaven/hell, but WHAT IS HIS NUMBER i’d happily burn for a while with PurgatoryBro (=is he one of the 1 in 4 w/th herp? s’ok.)

    Reply

  21. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 4:50 am | Permalink

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    “GOD IS AN ASEXUAL CLOUD WITH A SMILEY FACE”

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahah

    Reply

  22. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 6:45 am | Permalink

    i wear american appy and i’ve served 3 tours of the elektr0 wars. does that mean i go to alt heaven?

    Reply

  23. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    i served in the elektr0 wars for 18 months. when i fall asleep i can still hear the thunder of glitter grenades and the neon napalm exploding overhead as we dived for cover. the doctors only supply maxalt for the terrors and the folks back home stare at us like we they dont even know us anymore.

    WHERES OUR PARADE!? is it even alt to have one?

    Reply

  24. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    What if I’m in ALT Heaven and I dress like a goth when depressed? Or a scenester when I’m chippy? Or Paris Hilton when I’m hot? lol.

    Reply

  25. Anonymous
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    @ 6:18

    i support the electro troops
    <3

    Reply

  26. Anonymous
    Posted August 5, 2008 at 12:17 pm | Permalink

    if he was going to a dropkick murphys concert he probably wouldn’t have made it home that night. stop with all the deepness about god. we all know you’re shallow.

    Reply

  27. Jeff Luppino-Esposito
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:08 am | Permalink

    hmm, how do you fit ‘advancement’ into the equation? I feel like it’s gotta be somewhere.

    Reply

  28. Anonymous
    Posted August 10, 2008 at 12:49 am | Permalink

    wow you’re right. no alt person ever was born that way. it’s like a pokemon evolution.

    Reply

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