What should I buy? (I just made like a hundred dollars doing some freelance design).
I just want to accurately represent my personal brand based on solid consumer choices. I want to make sure people know that I am tech-savvy, but I can still appreciate ‘the small, quirky stuff about life.’ S0 tough to be a consumer in our modern world with s0 many choices, yall…
Should I buy this mp3 player that is shaped kinda like that Chinese Sports Arena Stadium called ‘the place where the birds live’?
Architecture is so zany these days, yall. R.I.P. Frank Lloyd Wright (miss u s0 bad)
I need a new computer since I have over 1,000,000 GB of mp3s of underground electro/fidget-core/meaningful-core/Iranian-Power-Pop and traditional French House music.
Whenever u buy a computer, it’s important to assess your basic computing needs. My basic needs for my computer are as follows:
- wireless internet anywhere in the world
- ability to use facebook/myspace
- ability to upload pix to fb and myspace
- ability to take pix of myself while I am on the computer & put zany effects on the pic
- ability to watch youtubes
- ability to spend late night hours having meaningful chat convos with close friends
- has to look kinda kute
Should I buy this new Dell that appeals to mainstream free spirited alts that are ‘afraid of having to learn how 2 use a Mac’?
Or should I buy the new Mac that is supposed to be better than the iPhone.
Is it alt to buy a desktop computer and pretend it is portable, so when u go into a coffee shop, u can just plug it in and pretend that u r a normal bro.
I kinda wanted to buy a DVD…
should I buy a movie that helps me deal with teen issues regarding faith, society, organized religion, ‘fitting in’, being disabled, and teen pregnancy?
“I’m smart. I see the real world. I h8 mainstreamers who go 2 a weekly Teen Bible Study that incorporates current day teen issues.” - a teen atheist 
I love the genre of movies that are written by old people who have the mindset of a progressive high schooler. (the JUNO theory?)
Does Zach Braff have the mindset of a Progressive High Schooler? How did Progressive High Schoolers take over the mainstream ‘authenticity’ perception market from 2k0-2k6? I feel like the ‘respected’ Hollywood celebs are always those who have the mindset/outlook of a Progressive High Schooler
(I know what yall are asking…is Macaulay Culkin alt? I don’t know the answers to everything, yall)
Should I buy an alternative watch without numbers to show how quirky I am?
I’ve always wanted to leave my home in suburbia and live a free-spirited intellectual lifestyle in France. Should I just buy a Dell Desktop computer and get this keyboard baguette wrist cushion instead?
I read in a wikipedia entry that in France, they don’t use traditional ‘money’, they just exchange liberal ideas & musings on life+society. (sounds like a terrible place 2 me)
n e ways…
I have always wondered what it would be like to be a Father-Who-Doesn’t-Have-An-Authentic-Connection-With-His-Son. It seems like the only bond they know how to share without getting vulnerable is sports.
If I were a Father who ‘didn’t know how to show my son the love I had for him but just ended up talking about sports all of the time’, I would consider getting him this memorable box of cereal.
If you were Michael Phelps and turned down Wheaties, you would have picked the following cereal:
a) Cinnamon toast Crunch
b) Cookie Crisp
c) Rice Krispies
d) Cocoa Krisps
e) Fruity Pebbies
f) LIFE
g) Golden Grahams
h) Corn Pops
i) Smacks
j) Kashi Go Lean Crunch
k) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup cereal
l) The cereal in bags for poor people/minorities/white trash
m) Clusters
n) Honey Bunches of Oats
o) Cocoa Pebbliers
p) Honey Comb
q) Apple Jacks
r) Raisin Bran Crunch
s) Cheerios
t) Chex
u) Crispix
v) Doesn’t eat cereal–only pop tarts
w) parents didn’t love me so I never had breakfast–i had acne and ate hotpockets
x) McGriddles
y) Chili’s Breakfast
z) Alphabits
aa) I have diabetes from eating cereal every day of my life
bb) KIX
cc) TRIX
dd) CHOOSE . YOUR. OWN. RESPONSE
S0 MANY CHOICES….
what’s ur fave cereal?
Remember the mid90s marketing campaign to try to convince people that cereal in bags didn’t taste like cardboard?
40 Comments
first
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booberry is the altest sugarcereal.
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really long. really boring. i think this is the first TL;DR post i didn’t find absolutely hilarious.
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the gentrified cereal in bags is pretty alt
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KA-BOOM
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cinnammonnnon toast crunch and putting fruit or chocolate chips in certain cereals.
a mcgriddle is just a poor man’s monte cristo.
i like how bagged cereal was kept on the bottom shelf just like dog food and cat litter.
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OFFENDED!!!
i eat bagged cereal.
you just made my msntrm sister cry who was reading this over my Alt Shoulder.
Now I have to tell my lil human accessory that we're poor.
fuck you
just kidding i still <3 you crls
we only bought them because they were on sale.
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i forgot cereal can come in bags. i dont think ive seen cereal in one since i lived in east L.A., how quaint.
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I will Choose My Own Response and be on every pancake sold at AltHOP and every hot cake sold at Alt Donalds and on every egg Alt muffin
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carleser, you are so fucked up and i love it- it just keeps getting better (and little more vulnerable)
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l) The cereal in bags for poor people/minorities/white trash
hahahahahahahahahah
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that watch is awesome
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You should definitely get a Nooka. And then get me one?
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I have type I diabetes from 2 much cereal. Type II is for fat mainstreamers.
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CORNNN PHELPSSS!!!
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“don’t be sillie rabbit… TRIX are for alt bros”
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This is the most alt thing ever.
http://news.aol.com/article/corpse-kept-upright-for-3-day-wake/140572
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Funnie
<3 U
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cracklin’ oat bran
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pretty much cereal in Europe is being sold in bags - does that make Europe more alt or mainstream? or just more poor people?
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Macs r4 wanna-b alts with trust fundz who can afford 2 pay twice as much for their laptops as they should….
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i miss Franky Lloyd too…
My architecture class is full of mainstreamers and entry level archi-alts.
Also going to france wont turn u into Foucault/other french cultural theorists.
Nx
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Macaulay Culkin is proto-alt, in a Brooke Shield’s Calvin Klein jean ads way.
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I really like when you create thought bubbles for the pics you use. Plz do that more.
And….just to get vulnerable for a sec: Are too many choices making us unhappy? I mean, no matter what you choose, you will always wonder if another choice would have been better, thus making you less satisfied with your choice. WTF!
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Alright. I’m an architect and a builder, amongst other things, and this is the best/most truest line I’ve heard all year:
“Architecture is so zany these days, yall. R.I.P. Frank Lloyd Wright (miss u s0 bad)” Word.
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Fruity Pebbies. Hands down.
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bam bam berry pebbles is where's it at.
mexican twinkies <3 it
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<3 persian disco (so did xrxs so i heard)
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ee) weetabix. Sup all my UK crew.
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norman foster - develop deez.
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Malt O Meal bagged cereal tastes the same. I checked right after I saw this blog. srsly crls.
<3 you
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that ‘keyboard baguette wrist cushion’ could sure ‘come in handie.’
my wrist is sore from 2 much tuggin’.
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SAVED helped me get through high school
HR is helping me get through university
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If I was Phelps I would turn the cereal world on its head by refusing all endorsements & creating my own cereal with my face on the box covered in gold…medals. And the "toy" inside would be a replica gold medal from china, something for the youth to aspire to!
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im not exactly sure what category macauley falls into, but im pretty sure him getting married & divorced by age 20 & also getting arrested for weed a few times might factor in. also was pretty alt/meaningful that he acted a role in a wheelchair, dont you think?
also, chilis doesnt really have breakfast does it? oh man.
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remember the other malt-o-meal commercial, where that kreepy guy runs into a woman shopping for cereal? She just can’t believe that high quality cereal would come in a bag. He explains that all cereal comes in bags, and the bags are just housed in unnecessary boxes…and she’s sold.
Malt-o-meal is more environmentally friendly than Kelloggs, Quaker, and General Mills… so is malt-o-meal the alt-est cereal brand?
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don;t get a watch without numbers. i bought one of those on my way to sub-althood. The quirky, unusual alt-ness of the watch attracts serious mainstreamer attention who just wanna talk to you about it and are amazed by its quirkiness.
There’s nothing worse than being caught into a convo at a family party by a seriously uncool mainstreamer-in-law when you could be being meaningful with your sister’s entrylevel alt friend.
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dellz r the shittttt
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Fantastic job on these writings. I have many things to think about now. Mainly my personal brand.
I will also probably bring this up in convo with my gf. She never really seems to care when i bring things up from HRO.
But… at least she knows how to spot an alt-bro now.
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alt F.L.W. reffy
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