The AltBag | Hipster Runoff

The AltBag

[Photo by thecobrasnake]
A lot of people ask me if alternative males can be anything other than the traditional alternative bro (also commonly referred to as the altBro). There is a genre of alternative men who can be more douchebaggy than bro-ish. Instead of seeking the camraderie/tugs that altbros want, altBags are driven by money/status/altFame/other alternative ideals. AltBags no longer pride themselves in receiving the tugjobs of entrylevel alt girls who they accidentally end up in a 6-12 month relationship with. Altbags usually shape their personal brand around 'being taken seriously' as opposed to focusing on the pursuit of authenticity.

AltBags can usually leave their altBro status behind when they pursue 'a better life' (on various levels) and/or try to become an alternative entreprenuer, capitalizing off their local/global scenes. Most of the world's most successful alternative entrepreneurs have ascended into AltBag status. Whether they are a designer, DJ, AZN DJ, party pic taker, or altWebMagazineBlog founder-- the altBag personality type is sometimes necessary to have a mentally-tough personal brand to withstand the trials and tribulations of being a public figure. On the flipside, some altBags are solitary alts, with no circle of friends beyond His altDiva GF.

However, most altBags are not successful. Most altBags are the post-AltBros in your local scene who are very difficult to take seriously, even though they appear to be taking themselves very seriously. Usually, they dress like an alternative version of the Jonas Brothers, utilizing an array of plaid, fancy/vintagey jackets, and avoidance of anything that looks 'too American Apparelly.' They spend money on higher end clothes and/or take time to find [HIGHLY THRIFTED] clothes.

AltBags are more than just AltBros.

[Photo by thecobrasnake]

AltBags take themselves 100% seriously. Their personal brands will last forever. They are generally between ages 24-30, since it takes a certain level of maturity to be an AltBag. You must be at a point where you were kind of forced into taking your alternative existence seriously.

[photo by Lastnitesparty]

AltBags sometimes manage to find an aloof altDiva. They are both relatively disconnected from modern trends, but still manage to have an intimidating presence on their FB/Myspace profiles & in person.

[Photo by Lastnightspary]

AltBros could transition their personal brands back to being relatively mainstream. However, altBags are ALT4LIFE. This AltBag Blipster is Alt4Life. His personal brand is set 4 life.

[Photo by thecobrasnake]

Being an ALTBAG is not always an insult. Some of the world's most successful alternative entrepreneurs can be classified as altBags. Mark "Cobrasnake" Hunter is a good example of how altBags are either 0% zany, or 100% authentic zany. AltBags cannot be contrived-zany-core.

[Photo by the selby]

There are numerous altBags featured in this video. The various AltBags in this video include a party pic bro, a promoter, and various DJs/musicians. These altBags are truly passionate about their scene. AltBags can sometimes have self-important concepts of their place in alternative society, which makes it difficult for the socially conscious to take them seriously.

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Another great video example of an AltBag is the guy named JUAN from the Pitchfork.TV series "Juan's Basement." Basically, bands come to play in this bro's basement, and he acts how you would expect an altBag to act if a buzzworthy band came to hang out. He establishes an authentic connection with the band, making it clear to observers that he is truly 'down' with the band by joking with them/being the bro who 'is interested in them like no1 else is bc he is a true fan AND true friend.'

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<3 busting balls <3

Do u know any altBags in your local scene? Have you ever encountered an alternative celebrity who acted like the biggest altBag? Are altBags driven to make money off alternative markets, without always 'getting' the alt zeitgeist? However, some of the most successful altBag entrepreneurs accidentally stumble into an 'ironic niche' where they took themselves so seriously that it was impossible to believe that they were being serious, creating a portal in which their brand was fun to follow/make fun of (a.k.a. BUZZWORTHY). Do u have any important qualifications to add to the definition of ALTBAG?
////Welcome to the altBag era!////