[Photo by Preggers Goldfish]
Some people fear death. Some people fear murder.
I think it would be terrible to die at the hands of:
a) an altClown JasonMasked sneakerfreak with a tat sleeve & a necklace designed by Masterlock
b) an escapee from an alternative asylum where the mandatory wardrobe includes eye makeup masks, a straight jacket by Marc (via Marc Jacobs) and some kutesy striped undies
c) an AZN DJ
d) a failed alt
e) a festivalBro on LSD during a Jack Johnson/Crystal Castles Show
f) a trivial electro producer who was angry that his track was only blurbed about once on a now defunct blog that posted pretty much anything
g) a hipsterrunoff// commenter
h) a child predator
i) an alt in Child Predator Glasses
j) Choose.Your.Own.Murderer
XX BONUS GRANDMA FROM THE FUTURE XX
[Photo by AltaMira NYC]
In the future, retirement homes will be replaced with scooters and old people will be given Amazon Kindles by the government.
The Amazon Kindle: It’s like a book on a screen, and u can read blogs on it too!
I wonder if they I can plug it into my iPod FeistChromatics Nano and get my iPod to speak the words in the book.
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IAmCarles.com
14 Comments
first!
have black holes become mainstream cuz of the particle collider deal?
is nasa alt now?
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dear god. you signed in as anonymous. you’re on a fucking satirical blog about nothing but drunk ass parties and designers/artists who failed whatever education they attempted to get. i hate mondays.
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oh right, my rant was about his first comment. forgot to mention that part.
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i have those gold shoes………that guys doesn’t wear them right
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Future-gran is actually a good sign. I am hoping Gen-X and younger generations can figure out how to age without losing touch or identity. I mean, even my parents were relative cool in the 70s, but now they’re offended by anything and have started turning into their parents. How dated…
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i wish future-gran was my granny. we could go thrift store shopping for alt-clothes together, she would help me invent crazy alcoholic drink/party favors, and her making out with her 60yr old alt boyfriend on my couch would be proof of my party’s ultimate alt-ness.
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I wish companies would stop toying with us and just release the handheld-super-computer-phone-media player-book-gaming system device that fits in your pocket.
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i’m giving my grandmother an ifeist nano for kwanzaa
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When I read your blog I picture you like Carey Bradshaw in the sexy city. You start by being very self reflective (but do not use real names) and then you end your blog a question mark (?)
Dear Mr. Runoff,
I like your blog. Keep it up. Dream big in 2K9.
Yours Truly,
A fan. (singular)
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a cigarette way too mainstrm
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I wouldn’t mind being murdered by Lovefoxxx and alice glass if they were working together on a hot jam and my blood was the secret sauce.
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ouch…. option (f) is me…. y’got me, charles. y’got me.
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The worst death ever would be death by mnstrmr but it would also be the best death cause I would be seen as a martyr
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I think future Granny could use a future bra.
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