Maybe it’s just because I grew up when ‘boy bands’ were big, but I can’t help but look at bands as a product that is being sold to me. Whether or not band members have ‘genuine personalities’ is not always relevant to me. How I perceive a member of a band is up 2 me.
Kind of like how in NSYNC, there was like the ‘kute one’, the ‘fat one with spikey hair’, and ‘the gay one’ and probz a few more–don’t remember. It’s just funnie how as bands become products, we can’t help but evaluate each member as a brand. Consumer subliminally pick their ‘favourite one’ who they would pretend they would be if they were in the band.
Here are some of our favourite bands, and how the HIPSTER RUNOFF PERSONAL BRAND RANKING SYSTEM ranks them within their own band.
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********RANKINGS*******
WHICH BAND MEMBER HAS THE MOST AUTHENTIC PERSONAL BRAND?
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The Justice League
Alice and the Crystal Castles
Interpols
Kings of Leon
Kings of Leon
Chairlift
The Arcade Firing
Animal Collective
What do yall think? Is the new computer software that did these images accurate? I used all of my advertising money on it, so I need 2 know if I should return it, or if it does a good job of accurately ranking personal brands within bands. Are any of these rankings incorrect?
<3 <3 Personal Brand Analysis <3 <3
What other bands should get ranked?




IAmCarles.com















37 Comments
Justice is the new NSYNC and try-hard wannabe “hipsters” that dress like them for Halloween are the new teeny-boppers (i.e. completely devoid of ANY originality and alt-cred).
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Seems to be working. The only glitch I see, though, THE INTERPOLICIA is not in Helvetica, and red. Keep an eye on that. That Vanity Fair font is poking my eyes.
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The ultimate irony of the situation is that the wannabe-alts who think they are just so cool because they worship Justice and can DJ a party by remixing OTHER PEOPLE’S MUSIC instead of coming up with something new by writing their own music, are probably the same ones who read this blog all day at work without realizing they are totally being mocked and made fun of day in and day out.
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king o lyon = haircut band . . .
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@ number 2.29. really? that is the argument 8th graders make about green day. are you an 8th grader? or is this some elaborate parody of those kind of people?
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i want to see a ranking of the teenagers and the chromeos!
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@2:43 This site is a parody of the types of people who listen to Justice, dress like them for Halloween, and think they are so hip and cool when in fact they are the exact opposite…as they represent mere perversions of what hipsterism originally stood for.
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//////////Reply by quoi de fuck
//////////Posted August 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@Anonymous,
“hipsterism” stood for something? other than sizing each other up at parties and angrily sipping pbr?
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meooooooow
i’d rank the kittie as number 1 that i’d want to tug
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@ 3.07. yup. thats true. but the argument was still pretty much a clone of ones used by 8th graders. just an exchange of terms.
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you shoulda just stopped after xavi. h0t h0t h0t!
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@3:21 I’m don’t know what goes on in the minds of 8th graders, but if they’re introspective and aware enough to see truth in the points posted above, then good for them; however, there are people in their late 20’s who STILL don’t get it, and think they’re the hippest thing because they listen to Justice and dress like them for Halloween. Some of these people read this site all day from work and think it’s some form of validation for their intellectual shortcomings when it’s really in fact a mockery!
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plz rate daft punk. i need to know which robot is #1.
also plz rate the jonas alt bros.
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poor, poor deaks ;_;
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tommy yorke and the radioheads
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bloc party, sigur ros, no age, yo la tengo, HEALTH
the beatles
TOKIO HOTEL!!!
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SSION
http://www.myspace.com/ssion
yummm
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animal c0llektivz = best collektiv in teh wrld.
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omg seriously LOL at the two photos of Kings of Leon. i guess their old manager got fired and a hip cool young guy came in to make them really accessible to the new crowd. both images are equally douchey.
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LOL.
Good post!
But It hurt my eyes to even look at arcade fire…they’re like having phone sex with an ugly girl.
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Is HRO a product?
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holy crap look at those headphones!
avey tavey should be number one
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3:36 do not try to understand/explain the enigma that is alt
it’ll bite you is the arse
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Wow… I don’t know where to even begin…..
I like interpol but I would like them more if they ditched the suits…
what was the question again?
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justice. cuz dior «333333333
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tatu vs tegan and sara?
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naw, sry crls, but carlos d. from interpol definitely has more of personal brand than daniel kessler. psh, r u entry level? i expect more from you, fggt.
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lololol
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what about the brand of m.i.a. carles? how is That analysis?
but srsly, I’m watchin vh1(the least alt-iest channel i can think of–i lyke to b ir0nic) at 3 in the AM and she’s on with an -edited- version of “paper planez” how do u feel about the future of alts? i’m scared carles. what am i supposed to listen 2 if alt-n00bs are watching MIA on the telly at 3 Am??
thx
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@ 3.45
Daft Punk is impossible to rate.
Everyone knows that the cool one is thomas bangleter but he has the shitty helmet too.
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@2:29
Hispeterism never stood for anything.
It has been mocking itself since the beginning.
If there is one message in all this: authenticity is unattainable.
There are no authentic people living meaningful lives.
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dear carles,
i think that i have transcended past the entry-alt level of althood, and now am functioning as a fully-authentic alt. does that mean that i can’t listen to jousteece any more?
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I don’t get it, facial hair bad or good? Your Ranks make no facial hair sense.
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halloween 2k7 was all Amy Winehouse
I donut think Santogold is ~known enuff for costumes so i’m guessing there will b more electrosluts
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please run tokio hotel through you new computer software.
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RATE THE STROKES
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Didn’t u say u alr3ady h8ed Kings of Leon?
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rank the “kevin drew” band & feisty bros of Broken Hipster Scene.
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