I was thinking that a lot of the ‘Alice Glass/Uffie/Aggy crushin-on’ got kind of b0ring, particularly for my non-altBro readership, so I thought I should look for a handsome altPro to develop a crush on.
Should I start 2 <3 Johnny Jewel from Glass Candy? 
I like his sequin tears.
[Photos by Domestic Fine Arts]
Should I grab a cup of coffee with James Murphy (lead singer of the LCD Brosystem).
Should I travel to Tibet with Girl Talk and grow a mashuppy beard?
Should I date an AZN?
Should I date a strong-minded, heavie-set girl and pretend she is a guy?
Should I try 2 seduce a member of ‘THE RAPTURE’?
Maybe I’ll just settledown with a masked DJ. I went 2 a palm reader once, and she told me that my future wuz dark.
I’ll try 2 find an older man who truly loves me, and writes songs about me ‘crashing in2 him.’
How about the guy with the kreepie moustache from CSS?
N e 1 from this band would be at the top of n e true alt’s wish list. Ryte?
Hopefully I can be humble & meaningful and chill with the lead singer of Grizzly Bear and that Final Fantasy violin guy. They seem ’smarter than the typical dbag in an AltBand’, so maybe we’ll have meaningful late nite convos.
There are just s00 many hott altMen out there. Not sure what to do. Sux that girls like Natalie Portman get the best 1s.
SRSLY tho…who is the hottest male Alternative Celebrity?
Will I ever find ‘tru luv’?
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
3 Comments
kn9i11n1incqg3ht
Reply
sometimes when i’m with my girl in bed i pretend she’s a man
Reply
I’d say Johnny Jewel from Glass Candy is a very good choice, although I think you’d find true love with one of the guys from Air or the lead singer from Friendly Fires? Not sure, if I were a guy I’d go for the lead singer of The Horrors.
On a side note…Domestic Fine Arts? Are you serious?
I wish you made a post about that whole “we’ve-been-to-london-so-we’re-fashionistas-and-have-a-wider-view-of-the-world-let’s-have-an-orgy-while-doing-blow-off-each-other’s-prominent-hip-bones-because-that-makes-us-free-spirited-youngsters”-fucking crowd…Oh, i forgot to add “obsessed-with-Mickey-Mouse” BS.
They definitely don’t fall under mexicalts or altinos and at times not even under neutral hipster, but are just as annoying.
Reply