I was thinking that a lot of the ‘Alice Glass/Uffie/Aggy crushin-on’ got kind of b0ring, particularly for my non-altBro readership, so I thought I should look for a handsome altPro to develop a crush on.
Should I start 2 <3 Johnny Jewel from Glass Candy? 
I like his sequin tears.
[Photos by Domestic Fine Arts]
Should I grab a cup of coffee with James Murphy (lead singer of the LCD Brosystem).
Should I travel to Tibet with Girl Talk and grow a mashuppy beard?
Should I date an AZN?
Should I date a strong-minded, heavie-set girl and pretend she is a guy?
Should I try 2 seduce a member of ‘THE RAPTURE’?
Maybe I’ll just settledown with a masked DJ. I went 2 a palm reader once, and she told me that my future wuz dark.
I’ll try 2 find an older man who truly loves me, and writes songs about me ‘crashing in2 him.’
How about the guy with the kreepie moustache from CSS?
N e 1 from this band would be at the top of n e true alt’s wish list. Ryte?
Hopefully I can be humble & meaningful and chill with the lead singer of Grizzly Bear and that Final Fantasy violin guy. They seem ’smarter than the typical dbag in an AltBand’, so maybe we’ll have meaningful late nite convos.
There are just s00 many hott altMen out there. Not sure what to do. Sux that girls like Natalie Portman get the best 1s.
SRSLY tho…who is the hottest male Alternative Celebrity?
Will I ever find ‘tru luv’?
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
45 Comments
Stalk yourself. Start a collection of your own waste.
Reply
<3 dj mom jeans crush <3
Reply
owen pallett > carles
Reply
I would pay good money to see you get gang fucked by The National.
Reply
Fatties: big in 2k9
Reply
don’t forget we are scientists
Reply
U FORGOT THE GUY FROM M83, HE IS SUPER HOTT!
Reply
You are my new blog crush.
Reply
try 2 <3 another blog.
Reply
Surkin. ^^<3
Ne1 no if he is ghey?
Reply
kevin barnes is fucking hot.
i want him in all his glitter and fishnet stocking glory.
Reply
Seeing a fat person in San Francisco is kind of like seeing a dinosaur.
Reply
I wish you spelled properly. Seriously, is it youthful laziness or trying too hard to be young and have a lingo?
Reply
//////////Reply by AnonPunk
//////////Posted May 18th, 2009 at 1:43 am
@Jess, want to be troll friends?
Reply
what about matt from matt and kim, they played a show here and some gay dude told me he was touching his ass while he was crowd surfing
if you don’t believe me its the kid with the pink headband on in the crowd surfing photo on this website
http://www.nicholasaveyphoto.com/mattandkim
Reply
Im glad u finally came out..
Reply
Enjoy a male bonding sesh with MGMT. But only the one without the jew fro
Reply
beth gibbons = heavy set? if you dated a big girl you’d have multiple places to put your weeny though. under the armpit works but you could easily fuck beth gibbon’s stomach.
Reply
beth gibbons is portishead's singer, that's beth ditto. portishead > gossip
Reply
I’d get in an Ed Droste/Owen Pallett sandwich
count me inz plEasE
Reply
we’re all bi in the insideeeee
Reply
ia w/ owen pallett + kevin barnes
do altfemales just simply love gay men?
Reply
abt. time you “cum out”, CRLS… every1 nos homophobia is a mask for homophilia.
How about queer alt-classical composer Nico Muhly?
Reply
honestly who hasn’t had a major man crush? I think we are attracted to the superior mind of the alt and long to “hang out” and have a “meaningful” experience which is video-graphed for pitchfork.tv Alts don’t throw themselves at alt celebs like mainstreamers do because that would be so mainstream. alas i’m content to simply shake hands with my favorite alt celebs as they frain a smile and enjoy the fact that they are “accessible” and “care about me” if for only a brief moment.
anyone ever have a “meaningful” personal experience with their favorite alt celeb just because you were in the right place at the right time?
Reply
incidentally I’m going to go see the nationals with the menomenas in the emerald city in a couple weeks. it’s going to be so meaningful since i love both so much.
Reply
will sheff, hands down
Reply
think there are many entry level alts lost in the folds of Beth Ditto. THey went in one day and nvr came out.
Reply
carles kinda looks like dave matthews in that one picture-except carles has more hair (at least for now). he takes propecia. i saw it in his car.
Reply
“incidentally I’m going to go see the nationals with the menomenas in the emerald city in a couple weeks.”
I am too :)
Reply
cobra snake , i love his chest hair
Reply
where the fuck is panda bear?!? hes so dreamy………
Reply
noah i love you
Reply
my list iz mstly the bngrz& insitubez but i just luv their musixz and i luvz frnch menz soo… probly itz lyke: surkin,feadz,orgaga,mehdi,tido(from ttc),para one, t bangz,uh you know evryonz.
oh i cnt believe you didnt put dave frm chromeo tho, i mean i thnk evry1 can agree there.
Reply
GAY
Reply
GAY
Reply
btw, surkin iz ttly not ghey, ive nvr even had tht thought.but ill make sure of it when i go to paris in decembre
Reply
Take your new altPro here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tug_Hill_Plateau
Reply
the lead singer of mgmt(;
Reply
to anon @ September 9, 2008 12:51 PM:
name me a gay hipster who HASN’T touched matt’s ass. they all want him.
touching matt’s ass is like when fags would touch beck’s ass in the 90’s.
Reply
tru indeed said…
beth gibbons = heavy set? if you dated a big girl you’d have multiple places to put your weeny though. under the armpit works but you could easily fuck beth gibbon’s stomach.
^^^
I had a fat guy tell me that he didnt like it when other dudez stuk their weenerz in skin folds….so I don’t think that would fly with her…she seems like a ’strong minded’ individual who likes to do things righ/in the pu$$ie
Reply
SHAUN from NPSH
is a freakkkkkin babe.
Reply
Beth dates a trans-guy, by the way. Bio-boys are so 2k6.
Reply
gay hipster? isn’t that redundant?
Reply
Ariel Pink.
Reply
el guincho
lead of ra ra riot
pandabear
Reply
“Should I date an AZN?”
Yes, or just have some great sex with one. Found a fine AZN bottom at the Bonham. Very satisfying and authentic.
Reply