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What would U do if U bought an AZN? [reader responses]


Yall. I know it’s impossible to find humans on sale on popular internet websites like craigslist, ebay, or even friendster. However, if u lived in a dream world where adults could be purchased in an open market, what would u do?

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Reader responses
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8. I would send my AZN to the Electrowar front.
7. you fucking piece of shit.
you can’t buy human beings.
you should feel really shitty about yourself for writing about asians like that.
you view azns in a really bad way on this blog.
its disgusting.
6. fashion xcessory. gwen stefani has 3 of ‘em.
5. i’d make him grow his hair and train him to become the new Steve Aoki and make loads of cash.
4. I would make my AZN pick up a to go order from chilis.
3. I’d also take him to class with me. And I’d have him cook me some ______…I <3 azn food.
2. : 1. buy an AZN /// 2. wait 2 years for china to become more powerful ////3. sell it for more ////4. ???????? ////5. profit !
1. YALL–it’s fun 2 joke around about AZNs but srlsy, we should be buying things/people made w/love in the USA. Dov from AmerAppy knows what i’m talking about.

Love all yall commenters, yall.

N e ways, I have always known since the song “Don’t Speak” that Gwen Stefani was innovative, but I never knew exactly why except that she married the guy from the George Bushes Band or whatever they are called.

Gwen Stefani is a singer, designer, and proud owner of a [tuggle of AZNs].



So let me ask yall again. WHAT WOULD U FCKNG DO IF U BOUGHT AN AZN/MISCELLANEOUS HUMAN BEING?

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35 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

    ri dunno

    Reply

  2. Andre
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    I would take the gwenny gwen gwen route and have the murder of AZN’s follow me around everywhere. I would rule fairly and justly over my AZN’s.

    And buying humans is just despicable CRLS CrLS CRLS
    Shame..shame on you!

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

    Stefani’s a ghastly cunt.

    Reply

  4. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 3:44 pm | Permalink

    well crls, if i had a gaggle of azns, i would run my new <3hybrid<3 car off them. tlk about clean energies.

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 3:58 pm | Permalink

    i was under the impression it was called a gaggle of AZNs

    Reply

  6. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

    i thought it was a tuggle of azns

    Reply

  7. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

    hahaha. we always made fun of the fact that she bought them from the back of a white van in LA’s chinatown.

    Reply

  8. Gargamello
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 4:33 pm | Permalink

    Great pics of Gwen and her entourage.

    I would buy an AZN bodyguard like one of the Bond villains and call him Odd Job.

    Then I would rob pharmacies and give the uppers to naughty tarts.

    Reply

  9. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    one word: tugfest

    Reply

  10. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 5:15 pm | Permalink

    angelina jolie totes bought her azns at their prime WHEN THEY WERE young and she has 2 of them, all ya’all need to learn from her. u can’t teach and old azn new tricks like picking up ur chilis order extra spicy or learning the difference between authentic disco and bloghouse ya’all

    Reply

  11. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    Haha! I love number nine. That person is so offended! People take things way too seriously.

    Reply

  12. baconeggsandbiscuits
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    I’d buy a mexi and make him do misc. stuff like clean the yard and wash my dishes.

    POST MORE MEXIs!!!

    Reply

  13. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

    sex?

    Reply

  14. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 5:51 pm | Permalink

    ya actually u dont post enough mexis

    Reply

  15. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    I’d buy my AZNs laptop computers (just in case they did not come with them) and make them post comments that do not suck.

    Reply

  16. littlesparrow
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    i hear they do white people jobs for a % of the price and 10x faster. so, i would start a sweat shop.
    mebbe make AA knock-offs, for all the poor alts out there.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
    //////////Posted

    @littlesparrow, 0mg 1 love that Idea.

    Reply

  17. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 7:14 pm | Permalink

    azn breeding farm

    Reply

  18. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    i hava a plan. i'll buy some tough japanese bros, some kute japanese girls (and some korean 2). with that army i shall form yakuzish army and take over the alt blogosphere by killing all major bloggrs and putting azns on their places. in that way i'll rule the altworld till 2k9(at least)

    and i'll get lots of munny from american appy :-)

    p.s: should i kill carles, or should i leave him live because of his <3 for azn? tough one, yall!

    Reply

  19. Madeline
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 8:20 pm | Permalink

    not sure what i’d do but i would make sure to get the right kind of aZn. like a korean or japaneeeesezey.

    Reply

  20. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 9:59 pm | Permalink

    I would buy 4 and use send them to my classes for me (n college) so they can do my work for me.

    Reply

  21. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 10:26 pm | Permalink

    i would use his or her natural autistic math abilities to calculate the expected life expectancy of bangers

    Reply

  22. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2008 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    gwen stefani is a lowie

    Reply

  23. nepalese_princess
    Posted September 23, 2008 at 2:10 am | Permalink

    haha that’s bryanboy!! its his picture in the top.

    Reply

  24. Anonymous
    Posted September 23, 2008 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Train him/her up- like in Kill Bill. Yall’d know not 2 mess wit me

    Reply

  25. Anonymous
    Posted September 23, 2008 at 8:59 pm | Permalink

    its so obv gwen wants 2 be an azn

    Reply

  26. Anonymous
    Posted September 24, 2008 at 2:06 am | Permalink

    1. buy azn
    2. remove eyes
    3. use them as a seed
    4. grow a big azn tree
    5. ??????????????
    6. profit !

    AZN = $$$

    Reply

    //////////Reply by azn tree
    //////////Posted

    @Anonymous,

    LOL

    Reply

  27. macht
    Posted September 24, 2008 at 11:03 am | Permalink

    …hehe… love this shit. but, you should keep in mind that one of the big mega trends in 2kX is what economists call the “asiatic boom”, meaning that a lot of financial transactions etc. are going to AZA… maybe buying azns is making that trend even bigger…

    another thing: if you want to increase the number of “anti-hro-racist-comments” start the Buy-Yourself-A-Blipster-Movement…

    Reply

    //////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
    //////////Posted

    @macht,

    LOL
    We don’t work like we used to. Don’t bother.

    Reply

  28. Anonymous
    Posted September 26, 2008 at 3:09 am | Permalink

    lol the life expectancy of bangers
    hilarious

    Reply

  29. Anonymous
    Posted September 26, 2008 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    i would have sex with it every night

    Reply

  30. kaykay
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    people buy azn baby grlz liek all teh time. then they grow up 2 b an adult azn.

    Reply

  31. AZN BIFF
    Posted December 29, 2008 at 5:21 pm | Permalink

    Fuck his skinny, tight, tan, ass every night and have him lick me where I like it.

    Reply

  32. donttripcarobchip
    Posted January 11, 2009 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    i actually have an azn. what i do with her is i take my azn everywhere. she always gives me mad cred. smart cred in a intellect scene, anime/nerd cred in a nerd scene, ethnic cred in a ghetto scene, and babe cred pretty much everywhere (shes hot). funny thing is she doesnt have to say or do anything, which she doesnt, people just assume away with their azn stereotypes. haha. old men, bros, hipsters, rich, poor, everyone loves or at least accepts a hot azn girl and aint ashamed o that. (if shes a classy one. beware of sucky sucky. its fine if ppl want to secretly fantasize about that or assume that, in fact u can play w it and use it, but u dont want an azns whos puttin that out there all blantant styles. if ur gonna go there think oldschool g geisha vs youtube). plus, same idea as gwen stephugly, tho not as theme-restrictive, you can dress her in super weird outfits and she has the poise and features to make it look like the shit. THE KEY is to get the right kind. dont want one falling all over her to get a hubby. you want one chill as fuck. chill like a knife on ice chill. oooo if they can pull it off, aint nothing like a mysterious (almost cruel) foxy azn. except a super tall eloquent african (as in from africa). thats g. or a sexy latina doing it right (think Elena Anaya not j-lo)… what can i say im a connousieur. however the beauty of bringing an azn is very low chance of outwardly racist aggression/discomfort against ur azn (as opposed 2 othr colors). most ppl think theyr harmless at worst. occasionally a fabby one will hate a whitewashed one, but they generally keep that to hateful looks, sly cutting comments, and other stuff that us non-azns can easily ignore (it aint meant for us anyways). as for dudes, ‘i dont know about rollin with no azn dude. whole nother ballgame, and no one wants tickets… o not true gay guys love a twinky azn.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
    //////////Posted

    @donttripcarobchip,

    Best comment evar.

    Reply

  33. π
    Posted February 13, 2009 at 3:47 am | Permalink

    If I bought an AZN, I would certainly still need a driver.

    Reply

  34. Lauren
    Posted February 27, 2009 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    If I had an AZN I would make it werk in a factori. Right? Then I would use there income to buy AZN toys like games and manga and anime and clothes. Then I would bring the AZN with me to shop, and then I wouldn’t look like a poseur.

    Reply

  35. X
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 6:39 am | Permalink

    This is an ignorant blog/website that is objectifying, sexualizing, and exoticizing a group of people. I am so sorry to have stumbled upon this website, knowing that ridiculous remarks and stupid ideas are concocted by people. Be educated. Do something worthwhile, please.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by brenda
    //////////Posted

    @X, urmmmm learn 2 take a joke? pls? and dont be a tool who takes everything srsly? kthanks

    Reply

2 Trackbacks

  1. By Stuff Hipsters Like Part VIII « Fabakis on November 21, 2008 at 1:12 am

    [...] be buzz-worded and or be deemed ironic. As seen in places like Hipster Runoff in their article, What would U do if U bought an AZN?, the ethnic craze is well [...]

  2. By URNMONEY: pounds of penance on January 26, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    [...] alt when I was doing some online shopping yall. I remember back in 2k8, my big gimmick was ‘purchasing an AZN.’ This year, I think I’m looking for something that’s a little bit more youthful [...]

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