Have yall heard of a popular DJ who pours Grey Goose into the moufs of his adoring fans?
Don’t rlly feel like blogging, so I’ll just re-use the text from a nearly identical post from May 3:
Steve Aoki is a giver of life (when it comes 2 partying), willing to give any underaged alternative partier a suckle from his Grey Goose/Absolut/Finlandia filled teet.
The Party starts and stops in accordance with Aoki’s will to party. His custom-distilled vodka is similar to the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ’s step-cousin who was known around Bethlehem as an ‘alternative bro who was always willing to have a good time.’
We all want to be the bro being fed by Aoki, not the bro next to the bro being fed, frantically begging for the opportunity to ‘find out what alcohol tastes like 4 the 1st time.’
Are yall okay with me starting to be 100% open about recycling gimmicks to the extreme? I might start reusing old posts 2 see how many of yall are even authentic HRO fans. Have u been there since [THE BEGINNING]?
<3 blipster entrepreneurs with DSLRs & turbans/ electroAuntJemimaheadwraps <3
[Photos by Thecobrasnake]
DOES N E 1 KNOW WHEN STEVE AOKI IS GOING TO COME OUT WITH A NEW MIXTAPE ALBUM SO THAT THERE WILL FINALLY BE SOMETHING FOR PITCHFORK/HRO TO BLOG ABOUT? :-(
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IAmCarles.com
21 Comments
furst y’all
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i still quote that post on a semi-regular basis. WIN.
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……
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shood it be weird to wank hard max out to steve’s muxtape
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He has to get people drunk to enjoy his shitty DJ’ing
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dude u suck now
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he is not pouring vodka he is pouring altness. The Eucharist of the AltBro Jesus “Juice” Christ
he should pour other things into people’s mouths since they seem so willing
perhaps…
-mustard
-AZN vodka (SAKE)
-locks of his hair
-mixtapes
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I APPROVE OF USING FEADZ AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR FEES
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Another throwback quote:
"I ONCE WAS AT A PARTY AND WAS ON STAGE AND AOKI WAS TOO
THER WAS A TUB OF ICE WATER WITH BEERS/VODKA IN IT, WHEN I WENT OVER TO GRAB A DRINK, ALL THE BEERS WERE GONE, AND THERE WAS AN EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE FLOATING ON THE TOP, I GRABBED IT TO CHECK IF ANYTHING WAS LEFT, AND IT WAZ COMPLETELY EMPTY.
I THEN WALK AWAY AND NOTICE STEVE AOKI WALK OVER TO THE SAME TUB, AND PICK UP THE SAME EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE THEN START TO POUR WATER IN THE BOTTLE, HE THEN GOES TO CENTER STAGE AND STARTS CHUGGING IT AND SPITTING IT OUT ON THE CROWD, SO I WAS LIEK HAY WTF THATS WATER. SO I WALK OVER TO HIM WHILE EVERY FKN PHOTOBLOG WAS SNAPPING AWAY AT THIS AMAZING PHOTO-OP AND I SAY "HEY, CAN I GET SOME OF THAT" HE HESITATES, AND POURS SOME IN MY GLASS I THEN TAKE A SIP AND SPIT IT OUT AND SAY "WTF ASSHAT, THIS IS WATER.." AND PEOPLE SEEMED SHOCKED BUT NOONE WAS LIEK "OMG YUO FUKN QUEER WHAT A WIENER YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT" THEY JUST KEPT DOING WHATEVER THE FUK THEY WERE DOING
WHAT DO I WITH THIS?"
<3 you anons. maybe i should start writing haikus again?
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seems like everything is getting real shitty in the world and it’s not just b/c were growing up and looking back at the caricatures we’ve made out of ourselves or the marketing strategies we’ve succumbed to- something is happening and talk of change just seems like another recycled gimmick we’ve heard too many times before. things really aren’t going to change and i feel our generation and its vapid existence is just trying to fire all the guns at once and…
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wow we’ve all gotten to the point where we can remember those funnie posts “bak in da dai” even if back in the day was in may. but that is about 2000 blog years.
i hope the aoki pours goose down my pants. mmmm.
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is he pouring that up her nose?
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still like ur blog but I have a job workin at Dunkin Doghnuts now and have worse ADD
luv
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um yo, r all altbroes authentic? this q’ has been irking me 4 sev’ral blog minutes, so i hope that u can get back 2 me as soon as possibl, N if so, then can 1 still transend alt N mainstream, or duz this make 1 an altBag, wich apprntly ’s’nt an N sult???? (also duz typing w/ very crappie vocabyularie give me altpoints [+!!] or duz it degrade my altbroe/brah status??????)
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2bad aoki has a small azn penis.
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hey carles i cnt believeu hvnt blggd abot alice GLASS with her head in a NET
http://pitchfork.tv/videos/crystal-castles-crimewave
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moufs r so 2k8.25. Noses r wat to pour da goose in2 now
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Dear Carles, truly the God Lord continues to bless you. Amen. Amen. Peace be with you.
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i hate steve aoki so much
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Nigger Snake???????
UR a Racist Ass hole!!!!!!!! Come say it to my face, and I’ll puch you, Charles, I’m all for shit talking, but what do you have againgst blacks????? R U jealous cuz we have rythm, and our men have big cocks????? get over it
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a bunch of retarded drunks.
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2 Trackbacks
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