ALTBRO or ALTBAG is an HRO gimmick where I find pix of alternative males. Readers then must decide if the person pictured is an altBro or an altBag.
Please justify your answer in order to be mailed your $5 Chili’s gift card.
For example: “He is an altBro because he has a gymbag full of miscellaneous alternative g00dies and his palestinian scarf. And also his sunglassies.”
or “He is an altBag because of his progressive bowlcut + postAltBro humble loafers.”
[Photo by Plastic Choko]
What do yall think he is? Kinda leaning towards _____. h8 being ‘undecided.’
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IAmCarles.com
26 Comments
holy shit. this one isnt even debatable. that is the biggest altbag ever. because you cant even look good in that but he pulls it off post-ironically. what the hell.
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I’m going to say he is and ALTxALT also know as an ALT squared.
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altbag cause of the red socks.
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Enormous BAG carrying an enormous bag… wearing a lady’s cardigan. No one matches like that anymore. Red socks? Oh and can we just knock it off with the damn scarves!?
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fggtbag, bc he takes it in the butt.
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heroic altbag. PLOscarves are fearfully douche. + awful hair. c*ntbag
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+terrible shoes.
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//////////Reply by Gaspard
//////////Posted October 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@cleftydave, those loafers are his only redeeming article of clothing. You have bad taste if you think they’re terrible. + you have a vagina.
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//////////Reply by cleftydave
//////////Posted October 19th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
@Gaspard, i bow to ur turbo++ sartorial knowledge, when can i xpect my vagina-prize to arrive. mwak
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carles is an Alt-bitch because he nostalgic and is afraid of change. snap? oh btw, this guy is an alt bag because he is wearing a jumbalia of things that were cool this year(except for maybe that scarf which hasn’t been cool for a while…) yet he shows no cordination whatsoever. As for the haircut, it makes me think of Simon from seventh heaven. IF Simon was an altbro he would def be rockin that cut.
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do any of people actually win the coupon?
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//////////Reply by City Slick
//////////Posted October 20th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
@jackie, bingo!
you killed the ironieee.
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This pic should sit beside the definition of altBag in the fggt dictionary. However, there is much more fggt influence at play here than altNess. He is almost certainly Scandinavian, definitely homo, and likely unemployed/ living off of mummy and dadoo’s cash. Therefore, a case can be made that he fits neither the altBag nor altBro meaningless stereotypes.
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ALT BAG, cause clothes say “Please, look at me.”.
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BLOG ABOUT THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdyHXj6h_PE
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ALTerCASIAN
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HRO is going downhilllllll
ive seen this like 100 times before CRLS
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Altbro. Altbags aren’t pretensious about muslims anymore so they don’t wear the terrorist scarf.
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Carles its noooo fun to play this game if u say the answers right away. Are you just being slfdestructive with this boaring section?or is this some twisted strategy to drive altbags away and refresh your audience?
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Pashminas are so 2007
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//////////Reply by lozl
//////////Posted October 20th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
@Carlos,
This is not a pashmina.
it’s a “palestine scarf”
but yeah, people were even wearing them in 2006 (the auth. alts, that is)
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altbag cuz his hair looks exactly like nick from that 90’s band… the backstreet boyzz2men…
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Altbro has got his shit down when it comes to dressing up for attention but doesn’t know what it means and is afraid of committing to being the true altbag he can be. He’ll make up his mind after he sells his first painting.
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so clearly an alt bag but if u use ur thumb to cover his hairs the decision becomes a lot harder
neways…. ive noticed a huge surge in palestine scarf bro stock value these days … is it possible the market will eventually bottom out or have they already cemented their place alongside shutter shades and am appy headbands in history as a timeless entry-lvl altcessory ??
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carles in my dreams u wear baggy denim shorts+nine inch nails tee. sexie
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//////////Reply by Lara
//////////Posted October 21st, 2008 at 9:36 am
@Shaman, hahahah! (and old white Reebox)
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I know him he’s a fggt , Is he out of competition?
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it’s a girl!
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altbag. the altbaggiest altbag to ever grace hro with ultimate bagdom.
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eek!
Altbggt.
that’s the most out-of-place septum piercing I have ever seen. It does not even fit his style in the first place, and his “style” is *barfs* especially that hair.
rofl!
but, I give him extra reedeming points b/c of the soo creative color match between his red cardigan and his bag/himself.
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he’s duffle boy fresh and malachi caulkin with natural yamukuh so bag him up
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