Are yall enjoying this era of ALTBRO or ALTBAG before I never do it again (kinda like myspacers worth blogging about)?
[Photo by TheCobraBro]
Please explain why this bro is either an altBro or AltBag.
For example: “He is an AltBro because he is himself, which is an altBro.”
Or: “He is so post-AltBag that he has regressed to Ultimate AltBro status. A K A the post-AltBro Theory, which was created by an Alt Philosopher+Inventor with Asperger’s.”
What do yall think?
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IAmCarles.com
48 Comments
Neither, he’s pure altdouche. He’s too pretentious and self important for any standard of measurement. Plus look at his hair. You know it took smthg like 10 mins to set each pubic like curl.
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can you stop doing this altbro or altbag deal? i dont like it.
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted October 9th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
then dont read these 1z.
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//////////Reply by ARbango
//////////Posted October 10th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
10-4
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ALT BAG!
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pleather members only+fake white gayfarers= ALTbag
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what are the chicks left of him doing?
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he is altGAEY
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if this is the entry-level alt edition, doesn’t that automatically make him below altbro and altbag?
nevertheless i can def see him developing into an altbag
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this dude is ah magic carp
http://magiccarp.com/
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Clearly an alt br0, you can tell that he was rly into his high school soccer team a couple years ago.
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AltBro. He is far too excited. Excitement = non-jadedness = college life = not caring how bad of a haircut you have or that your outfit sucks.
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altbag. he thinks he’s too cool
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altbag, because
- the hair
- the smirk
- the altbag behind him who’s just a bag
- bag looks like mike from housewives
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alt bag and a half
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So, um, when did TheCobraSnake start showing titties? Did I miss something? I thought that was the province of LNP & the others.
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His Mouth resembles that of a hamster.
Also fuck you shar, no one gives a fuck about you.
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boring carles.
fucking boring.
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WTF is this shirt this guy is wearing. Some chicken with an A on there.
This kid sucks. His hair cut is reretartar and I bet he is still listening to the strokes or something.
his sunglasses looks like he baought them at a truck stop.
SRSly who the fuck does this kid think he is. Where ever he is he does not belong there.
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neither, obviously entry-lvl alt
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entry level alt gone very,very wrong
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altbag
bcuz of
1-the tan
2-the face
3-the facial ezpreshun
4-the hair
4.4-the face
0.7-its supdupa clear; he tryz to hard to b dressed liek a hipsterz
38.9- he haz moar dan 2% of bodyf4t
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He’s celebrating our feedback!
<3 u
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are yall f’serious? this guy is obviously from europe, probably dutch or some sort of scandynavian. he looks like tiesto’s little brother.
http://www.peterkjaer.dk/dj_tiesto.jpg
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fuck that nigger tiesto.
fucking guido
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ALTBRO cause he bought the A-TRAK shirt at the merch table and got himself a snazzy free jacket.
BUY1GET1FREE ALTBRO EDITION.
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“before I never do it again, like myspacers” cut the fucking bullshit carles, the only reason why u don’t indulge in ur past ‘myspacers’ success is due in part to the ‘private’ feature that now plagues myspace and ur uber-blog’s popularity-which causes an instant ‘private’ once these fools are exposed. i like the altbag vs altbro gimmick, but its shelf life is obviously reaching its expiration date. time for a new product launch and this time don’t put all ur eggs i/1 basket w/1 gimmick. there’s only 1 thing worse than a hipster-run-off and that is a hipster-ran-out (of ideas). i guess u can blame it on the teetering alt-economy though, but where’s ur resiliency?
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//////////Reply by badkharmala
//////////Posted October 10th, 2008 at 8:58 am
“there’s only 1 thing worse than a hipster-run-off and that is a hipster-ran-out (of ideas)”
lololol. almost works friend, almost.
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hey wangs,
i agree with the first post, hair just doesnt cut it enough to be a bro. he is a baggot.
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FAGBAG
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alt bro. That look on his face shows that he has no idea what is going on.
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This game is boaring.
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He’s an altbag/altbro bcuz crls says so…
…but I’m gonna go a diffie route and say that he’s just a normal ‘down-2-earth’ kid who just wants to live a life outside of suburbia and maybe be offered some coke for the first time.
PS- What does happiness taste like?
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I think he’s cool as ice
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totes ALTFKRFGGT. entire ensemble too new to be gen. plus, he looks like ben folds. would NOT do him.
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This altbag vs. altbro blabla feature sucks. I say it for all of us: POST MOAR TITS and NUDE LEHDYS.
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my GOD look at the hair.
altbag.
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i don’t think people “get” this whole altbro/bag thing. srsly carles, it needs to go. sum1 actually said he was an altbag bc of the white wayfarers- WTF? R U SERIOUS? ppl r not gettin this shit.
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted October 10th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
@anon, I said it before and I’ll say it again to make sure things are clear about this site…
somehow you mistaken the subtle bitting sarcastic tone of this site as validation of the excesses of what hipsterism has become, when in fact it is in fact making a mockery of it. think Gawker’s “Blue States Lose”. why else is this site obsessed about things like authentic vs. unauthentic, alt-bro vs. alt-bag, etc. the underlying message from this site is that you are the farthest thing from hip if you think you’re hip just because you shop at american appy, dress like justice for halloween, wear shuttershades, listen to electro, and DJ the occassional loft party. all those pictures up on this site of people in “neon leggings” is not to praise and promote them you know?
consider the name of this blog — hipsterRUNOFF…
Some definitions of “runoff”:
1. Eliminated waste products from manufacturing processes
2. The overflow of fluid from a container
…hence these people are an unwanted excess and an overflow of a social movement.
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//////////Reply by badkharmala
//////////Posted October 10th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
@anonymous,
i don’t think this is exactly right…we all take our own bite out of the altpie. you don’t have to agree with everything carles says to enjoy the site/be alt, that’s what defines our personal brands. HRO is both embracing and satirizing altdom, and carles is intentionally ambiguous sometimes.
that being said, some of this shit, is stupid no matter who you are.
ok enough about explaining a joke so it’s not funnie anymore, but anon should lay off telling other people how to read a web site.
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that night he was alt-bro.
next morning he became alt-bag for life!!!
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wait, so im confused. do alts strive to be an altBag or an altBro. which one is better?
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entry level bro…
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if you all hated this segment of HRO so much it wouldnt keep getting 30+ comments. duh.
he’s not even alt, id say plain douche.
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carles, plz dont listen to all the h8ers. ur blog is gr8. u know what puff daddy said: mo money, mo problems.
btw, that is def an altbro. he is too ‘classically good looking’ to be an altbag.
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@zakkie:
altbros are entry level, small-time, a dime a dozen
altbags are the real deal, they walk the walk and talk the talk and make sure you know it.
right?
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//////////Reply by omz lay
//////////Posted October 12th, 2008 at 8:59 am
@anonymouslol,
nar man read the older posts….
bros>bags
bros are usually groups of guys with an interest in altness for the right reasons..
bags are single entities of idiocy, they adopt a certain level of altness for the pure purpose of an increased social response towards themselves……
i think….. ha!
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is alt-fag acceptable?
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altffggggt
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one hundred percent BAG!!!
would not even consider him alt.
just check out the whole ensemble. all of the most basic gear that average people believe alts wear.
pleather jacket with cartoon print style t + white wayfarers….. clearly some fagbag that saw some ed banger peeps and now adopts their basic fashion style…. this guy clearly doesnt understand the whole self expression thing, mainly dresses like this “cos it’s cool” and thats what his un-alt friends tell him!!!!
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Altbro. His bone structure is too good to be a ‘bag.
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LOL~ YALL SUCK, this bro is 10% entry level, 110% FAILED!!!!!!!!
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I know this dude! I met him at a Chromeo show awhile back…
He’s a Dr.!!!! nooo joke.
I’ll say Alt-Bro only because he was nice and bought my friends and I drinks. hahahaha
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altBag….b/c his t-shirt chicken also has douchesque glasses..
…self-referential clothing choices= ghey
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