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ALTBROs or ALTBAGs: AZN streetwearBros Edition

ALTBRO or ALTBAG is an HRO gimmick where I find pix of alternative males. Readers then must decide if the person(s) pictured are altBro(s) or altBag(s) or a ‘lil mix of both kinda like an interracial child.’

[Photo by GadeMode]

Please justify your answer in order to receive your HRO points.
For example, ‘they are altbros bc they tilt their hats at a >=45degree angle.’
or ‘they are altBros bc they were 2 scared 2 get fashion blggd alone.’
or ‘they are authentic AltBags because they took their altBro relationship to the next level by purchasing matching dog tags.’
or ‘they are altBros bc they wear sneakers and t-shirts with sneakers on them.’

This entry was posted in ALTBRO, AltBag and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

32 Comments

  1. Posted October 28, 2008 at 9:43 am | Permalink

    alt bros cuz he has his hands in his pockets like that.
    ps i know you stole the pizza wars from the appletini wars at bloggingourway2bombay.com

    Reply

  2. captain awesome
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    total alt-bags, not quite hip hop not quite hipster

    it is like they did not commit to either, but instead are trying to make friends and impress people by listening to lupe fiasco and going to a MSTRKRFT show

    plus they are wearing douchebag sunglasses, and have their cell phones at there sides. wtf?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by InstantVintage
    //////////Posted

    @captain awesome,

    What if they’re really wearing pagers???

    Reply

  3. Posted October 28, 2008 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    alt-bags because of the douche-y sunglazzes

    Reply

  4. Jesse
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 10:26 am | Permalink

    Totalll altbagz

    Guy on the left: Sticker still on the hat, lame-frame sunglasses (possibly knock-off something or other), phony electro-war dogtags (he prbbly got em from the girltalk merch booth), shirt OVER the cell phone case, and ‘look at me’ shoes/laces.

    Guy on the right: *sigh* aviator frames + fade tint on the lens, dawg tags, pooka bracelet, graphic tee w/shoez on it *dumb, shirt ALSO OVER the cell phone case (even tho’ it looks like he’s tryin to hide it), and ugly shoes/laces combo.

    I’ll bet both of ‘em started listening to J Dilla after they heard him on Adult Swim and only started listening to MF Doom after his collabo w/Danger Mouse.
    It’s funny bcuz they look like every other dbggt that goes to my local community college.

    Reply

  5. Posted October 28, 2008 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    these guys are just bros.
    not even remotely tuggable.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by icthyosaur
    //////////Posted

    @childpred, that’s so sad

    h8 when ppls can’t get a tug….

    Reply

  6. xOX0
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    altbros: bad herr, a rl altbag would have grown that shit out

    but then i think altbag b/c their pants are too low to be altbro and too loose to B legit altbag, so they are 0% zany and 100% ALTBAG SLUDGE

    Reply

  7. glamrockonabudget
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:09 am | Permalink

    DOODERDOIK!>? srsly? fggts. not even remotely alt-anything. they went to urban outfitters paid 75 for a tshirt. found some laces that GLOW, not match and of course tilted the lid. yet these COULD be authentic alts………. in areas of concentrated fggts perhaps this is the best they could do.

    Reply

  8. Gaspard
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:13 am | Permalink

    ALtBro. The shoe laces are a giveaway. I bet they keep all sorts of different color shoe laces inside their Civic SI/ Integra/ 350Z and they change em’ before every girl talk show they go to. They wanna be altBags but their ‘big break’ in the form of ‘producing their own beats’ has yet to materialize. They’re wearing glasses cause mom’s kimchi was too spicy today.

    Reply

  9. anon
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:21 am | Permalink

    probably the most harmless altbros carlez has yet posted

    Reply

  10. arbango
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    atlbros coz they are still young .. the alt world surrounds them so they apply that to their fashion… any altbro wears shades nowadays.

    Reply

  11. kap10supaman
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:33 am | Permalink

    100% pure altbag. matching cell phone cases, dog tags, and slight upward tilt of the head says it all.

    Reply

  12. neednotapply
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    If you were standing near them, you’d be able to smell the Axe body spray and the Jaeger Bombs they just did (which were done warm cuz it was left in their Civic SI/ Integra/ 350Z [good call, Gaspard]). Their pretty harmless, unless they challenge you to a game of DDR, over which the give enthusiastic high-fives/bro-fives.

    *Probably Canadian though: who the fuck wears cell phone cases on their belts except for Dad’s? If not foreign, the cell phone case is the most zany part of the get up. And even then, it could be better if they were issued by Pepsi or had a dbg ad logo on it (maybe, ‘I’m Lovin’ It’ or something…because you know these guys hit up McD’s…a LOT)

    Tough call, but I’m going with Alt Bag and it hinges on the way they’re slightly smirking and tilting their heads at a >45deg. angle as if they’re too cool and “s0 0veR” wherever they are…even though it’s near the dumpsters of a T.G.I.Fridays.

    Reply

  13. Mechrobioticon
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    They are AltBros because I’m using Firefoxxx to look at them.

    Reply

  14. oh fuck off
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    blipster?

    mexi-blipster? what kind of a hybrid is that CRLS?

    Reply

  15. fuck bloghouse
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    they are not alt in the slightest. gAyZNS

    Reply

  16. anon
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    75% altbr0 because the personal brands lean more toward “urban, I look like i could be in the Cool Kids, but still LUUUURV bloghause” and 25% altbag due to “authentic unrecognizable ethnicity”

    Reply

  17. Jon
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    not alt at all, just BROS with a gimmick (cellphonecases).
    They get negative alt points for thinking they are SNCKRFRKRS, and even more negative alt points for actually thinking being a SNCKRFRKR is kewl.
    ENTRY LEVEL, BECKHAMGLASSES WEARING, BIG FONT T-SHIRT SNCKRFGGTS.
    Maybe Im just h8ing because I don’t have 2 much money 2 much time:(
    I wonder if he gives some 2 humanitairy organizations if he really doesn’t need it all?

    Reply

  18. LANA
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    Oh shit. That’s my brother! Yeah, he’s a little alt-bag. I think he should go back to his b-boy style. I mean… who is he kidding?! He’s just a little filipino kid who loves break dancing. He’s in this weird stage right now where he’s still trying to find himself. So, please give him a break.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by d
    //////////Posted

    @LANA,
    that’s what its all about girl, trying to find some meaning!!

    Reply

  19. heather
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    altbro. its the nikes. and the dogtags.

    Reply

  20. d
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    arent alt bag and alt bro teknically the same thing??
    dudes with a gimmick?
    maybs alt bros are more tuggable?
    more auth=more tugs??

    Reply

    //////////Reply by dimit
    //////////Posted

    @d,
    look within yrself for the answers bc this is the only place where the answers will be true to who you are/who you want2b

    Reply

  21. Posted October 28, 2008 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    Nike sb’s are still cool.

    but alt bag for the cell phone holsters on there belts, and there lame ass shirts.

    Reply

  22. anonz
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 5:33 pm | Permalink

    dei b filipinbros. i can smell the rice ‘n spam.

    Reply

  23. somehpstr
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 5:58 pm | Permalink

    fukng fggts

    Reply

  24. brobag
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 6:00 pm | Permalink

    maybe ‘brobag’ if thats not already been coined

    Reply

  25. somehpstr
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 6:14 pm | Permalink

    do they make monkey tags?

    Reply

  26. Anoneeeemuce
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm | Permalink

    These are the types of guys who roofie grls 4 unconscious tugs… brobags 4 lyfe yall

    Reply

    //////////Reply by neednotapply
    //////////Posted

    @Anoneeeemuce, “unconscious tugs”…hilarious.

    While unconscious tugs are prity “unkewl,” in 2K12, they will be highly auth and a valued experience.

    Reply

  27. Posted October 28, 2008 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    um crls..is this even a question?? of coouuuurse these bros are purebred altBags no QUESTION!! peep the t-shirts with ‘money’ in big centered, differently sized taglines and the matching dogtags, outrageous shades, and exclusive collabo Nike SBs. 2 EZ!

    Reply

  28. chino
    Posted October 29, 2008 at 12:15 am | Permalink

    Bros. Hands down. But not alt bros. Just bros. Kinda FGGT but just bros. Nothing more nothing less. The AZN Filipino bros that spend too much time pretending to be America’s next dance crew. See too many of these in Toronto/its suburbs on a daily basis.

    Reply

  29. thumbsdown:[
    Posted October 29, 2008 at 5:23 am | Permalink

    glasses-thumbs down
    matching lame little dogtag chains?-gay and thumbs down
    played out colorful nike SB- thumbs down
    little cell phone holders holding your shirts up- thumbs down
    matching “streetwear” jeans too?- thumbs down
    lame watch because i cant decide weather or not i am hip hop or “this new style”, so i bought something big with leather strap- thumbs down
    alt bag/bro number 2…. is that an edible bracelet, from hot topic or something (is this an attempt to be unique?)- thumbs down.
    please dont tell me thats a famous star on your hat no 1

    thumbs down thumbs down thumbs down

    Reply

  30. Posted October 29, 2008 at 6:04 am | Permalink

    BAGS

    hair is not altbro enough.

    Reply

  31. Adam West
    Posted October 29, 2008 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    These are hypebeast, they can’t afford to wear BAPE so that just put on anything that looks like it possibly could.

    I’ll go with bags for the fact that they have their matching blackberry holders on the hip.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by thumbsdown:[
    //////////Posted

    @Adam West, they could be hypebeasts but the streetwear looks to second hand

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Adam West
    //////////Posted

    @thumbsdown:[, Touche

    Reply

  32. riiiiot
    Posted March 31, 2009 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    klassik filipino hypebeasts.

    Reply

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