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Do Authentic Alts Eat Zany F00d?

[Note: This Picture was taken in a Government Lab where they are beta testing 'human fuel' a.k.a. 'food' for electro war foot soldiers.]

[Photo by the cobrasnake]

A lot of mainstream magazines have branded Alts to consume beverages like Sparks, PBR, and even 'drinking a lot of wine ever since I studied abroad.' However, no1 really knows what alternative people eat. Do yall eat junk food but 'somehow maintain ur amazing figure'?

Or do u only eat healthy, gluten-free food that u purchased a post-gentrified farmer's market?  Or do u just shop at Whole Foods?  Or are you a 'Chili's Vegan'?  Or do u eat McDonnie's breakfast?  Do u only eat CLIF BARS/ Pepperidge Farm products / Doritos / Sun Chips / post-ironic foreign foods / SNCKRS bars?

Or do u and ur BF just do a lot of meth?

Is Meth ruining yalls local suburban community? Should I use HRO 2.0 advertising money 2 start a meth lab?  What's the difference between meth and coke?  What do 'drugs' feel like?

SRSLY THOUGH....what's yalls diet like?

Comments

Beats's picture

Digging the 2.0 Beta.

anonymoose's picture

is that toast with sprinkles on it? what will they think of next, like...like...hats with pillows on them?!

anononony's picture

@anonymoose, we eat this in australia when we are kids at birthday partiez, or if we are at an alt-retro-zany partie nowadayz. it's called fairy bread.

elisha's picture

@anononony, but in aus we usually have it on bread, not toast

omz lay's picture

@elisha,

hellz yeah.. though i never known it to be an alt thing here in syd.. its fairly mainstream kids party grub.... but i spose its dif for us late teeny/20+ yo alts to dig n2 it as it is a lost past the age of 10.....

aside from the politics of party foodz... fairy bread is gooood shit...

le poulpe's picture

JSHAW's picture

i consume frozen grapes, its kinda like doing adderall

MexiAltBRoAZN's picture

me likey coke(&mentos), MJ, tik, HRO, cheesee.

or otherwise vegan

whatlofi's picture

gak = appetite suppressant = save money on food + maintain great figure = more money for gak

peoplecolors's picture

cereal and mexican food when i'm on drugs.

kitbot's picture

I like post-ironic foreign foods such as mi goreng.
I consume weed because its the sweet nectar of the ALT gods.
I like to lie about being good at cooking when really all i can make is homemade pizza, simple tomato pasta and Stir Fry.

Gregg G.'s picture

i only eat nutella and pistachios

roooooo's picture

carles i am facing a crisis - is it weird to have a tug 2 an american appy banner ad?

dev's picture

@roooooo, srsly

escher dashiki's picture

snickers (for reals once or twice a week), kung pao chicken, waffles with eggs on 'em, lasagna, bananas, falafel, everything bagels with tomato and butter on 'em or with lox, tofutti c. cheese and onion, almonds, sammies, cigarettes and coffee. oh! and snowballs, those big pink ones.
this is like my life-long diet and i have maybe gained 10 lbs since high school? there was the college-diet-pill-energy-for-essay writing/cramming phase (2 weeks)...i am neither for nor against healthy foodz. like a sitting duck, i wait until my metabolism hits the high road.

chooooollla's picture

tic tac, diet coke, and then some meth...that's all of the food groups, right?

mullipster's picture

@chooooollla,

+centrum so that one time a week when you sleep you can wake up and actually move

caveat - hard to keep it down

then again, same with the tic tac

sarah's picture

HRO for breakfast lunch & dinn

Altbagyness Deyn's picture

French Electro Toast. Best consumed whilst listening to Bloghaus. Neon tights must match neon sprinkles for maximum authenticity.

FUCK's picture

I eat like I should be fat and diabetic, but I am basically a perfect build. I'm so0 glad I don't have to worry about what I eat. Ok, gtg my waffles are ready.

Plumdrops's picture

I eat anything that assumes power or great responsibilty. For example: today I ate a 'Pro Bar'. I can only come to the conclusion that people are going to ask me profound questions, most likely having to do with sports or religion. If I eat a 'Power Bar', girls are going to ask me beauty secrets while I steal their thoughts. By eating these bars, it saves those extra calories for my boozing and drug weekends, this is how my fit figure is maintained. Srsly.

Anonymous's picture

we used to eat that on non-toasted bread back in the outback. i do think it was called fairy bread, but you dont fucking cook it first. sometimes you could put icing or chocolate on it too, very alt.
i eat pop tarts while eating my vegetarian wraps.

anonymoose's picture

lol @ "fairy bread"

question: has mickey D's come full circle to be "ironically tasty" since it's basically the thrift store of foods? or is it still only for fatties and children?

Gregg G.'s picture

I survive solely on electrowar rations.

littlesparrow's picture

i just had a bag of dorritos and a peach 4 lunch.

peterlikewhat's picture

@littlesparrow, mmmm, i realy like peaches

whatuptokyo's picture

McDonalds Southern style chickens + Adderall

anonymous's picture

whigger carbs

arajay's picture

i eat clif bars with meth mashed into them.

lllisa's picture

me and my bf broke up, so all i consume is cigarette smoke and lonestar. you know, cuz i'm on the grieving diet and shit.

PoorBrenton's picture

Aldi Peanut Butter on Aldi Tortillas. A week of food for $5. Drink gin and rainwater. Fuck fluoride.

..'s picture

you just got spread butter on normal white bread, not toasted? wtf? and dunk it with 100's and 1000's not this ugly sprinkles. they are so yummyyy! but they dont it so so wrong. d00d!

daflos's picture

nerdy cooking skills in an special area like bread baking is extremely swedish altbag

roadster's picture

personally I like making weird dishes, like pancakes and nacho cheese. I think its because I never have food in my house due to money wasted on mac books and ridiculously expensive vintage clothes. I tend to keep a good figure because I've invested in a good fixed gear bicycle instead of being sensible and buying a car.

andrew R. Carbone's picture

michael moore doesnt care where his cocktail party dairy products come from, but I do. Mine I mean-well his too.

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