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Who has a more authentic Homeless Man Beard?

Does Girl Talk’s implementation of the homeless man beard make him more authentic? Or is his beard a little bit too ‘freshman in college’ proving that he is ‘liberated’ from his parents?

Definitely prefer BREAKBOT’s (who I nvr realized looks like a more authentic Greg Gillis).

It’s a shame we can’t all grow Sufjan Stevens Douchebag Carpet Munching “Sit on my face” Goatees.

Heard that Sebastien Tellier smells like a Frenchman. Is that true, yall?

Might just grow an El Guincho homeless man mop+beard

No1 will ever be able to top Teddy K’s Homeless Man Beard.

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22 Comments

  1. Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

    How about “The Album Leaf”?
    here: http://cfs.tistory.com/attach/1770/1036117406.jpg

    And “Karotte” here:
    http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/345/karotteaz3.jpg

    Reply

  2. tugs4clrs
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    <3 <3 <3 teddy k

    miss th0se days bad.

    Reply

  3. unibooboo
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    free teddy k yall!

    Reply

  4. michael cera
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    beards are post-authenticism, facial hair is mnstrm

    Reply

  5. anonymous
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    Electro — “music” for kids, adults with attention spans of 5 year olds, people with A.D.D., and people who dress like Justice for halloween who think they’re actually doing something “cool and original”.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by tugs4clrs
    //////////Posted

    @anonymous, dude, who the eff are you? you are like a straight up buster. i h8 u. wtf? dressing as justice for halloween is like shit tons cooler and more original than you. DIAF

    Reply

    //////////Reply by LKTROzMUZK2
    //////////Posted

    @anonymous,

    U NEED TO A TUGGY OR SOMTHING CUZ U DON’T KNOW WHAT ALT-THENCITY IS.

    Reply

  6. pR
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    Carles, how could you forget about Jousteeces beard?!?

    Reply

  7. littlesparrow
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    luv how it ticklez my inner thighs <3

    Reply

  8. xavier
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    what about a Busy P sideburn beard

    Reply

  9. Posted October 20, 2008 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    Mmmm, beards! The crazy untamed ones are teh besst. + those pedophile shades.

    Reply

  10. Gaspard
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    girl talk is a fggt. El guincho is most authentic. He looks pretty hungry. I wanna give him a dollar, feel sry for 20 secs, rationalize my guilt by saying he’ll probably spend it on cheap booze, then go do line of coke off my new azn’s alt tits.

    Reply

  11. mitch
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    my beard is really scraggly and makes me look greasy and dishonest. is that a good or bad thing? i’m in need of some serious help, yall

    Reply

    //////////Reply by childpred
    //////////Posted

    @mitch,
    beards are the sexiest thing to happen to altdom.
    the greasier the better.
    also, goes nicely with sum flannel 4 the “cold season”

    Reply

  12. Posted October 20, 2008 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    Who is teddy K?

    was he the worlds first alt, or the just the first mnstrmr turned alt?

    would growing a beard take me from entry level alt to a full fledged altbro?

    Reply

  13. Anonymous
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    ugh. beards. fucking h8 them s0000 bad. no-shave november is coming up though y’all, or would that be very mainstream?

    Reply

  14. DiabetesAlt
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    I always read Girl Talk’s beard as a Tour Beard, which is kind of like a homeless beard except for without the direness. Notice that when he’s settled and doing press photos in shuttershades that there is no beard.

    Dave Berman from Silver Jews should have been on here. He is post alt (Also, he tried to kill himself with crack and Xanax, which is about the most authentic and meaningful thing you can do. Even more authentic that HEATH.)

    Reply

    //////////Reply by dax jax
    //////////Posted

    @DiabetesAlt,

    David Berman is in his forties. That’s not “post alt”…..just old.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by AssBroGRRZ
    //////////Posted

    @dax jax, But he’s still good sometimes, making him part of the alt rubric. Plus, you can quote his lines as if they are your own around entry level alts who consider reading books/being informed/being witty part of their personal brand and it can sometimes precipitate tuggz (it isn’t like they are going to actually check out “American Water” and realize you are lying).

    Reply

    //////////Reply by tugs4clrs
    //////////Posted

    @AssBroGRRZ,

    remember when _____________________ was meaningfulcore?

    a) silverjews (2006)

    please shut up about how american water makes you feel authentic because you “get” dave berman in a way that entry level alts nvr will. h8 taht. just join the bloghaus revolution.

    //////////Reply by dax jax
    //////////Posted

    @AssBroGRRZ,

    your analysis is cogent.

  15. Posted October 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    jesus carles you get 8,000 hits a day? can you talk about me or link to my stupid ass 5 hits a day blog?????

    it has really retarded stuff there too. i dont get it!

    Reply

  16. Rasemon
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm | Permalink

    Where does devendra banhart’s mop fit into this conundrum?
    HELP!

    Reply

  17. Posted October 20, 2008 at 7:55 pm | Permalink

    I still can’t believe how much Breakbot looks like Gillis:

    http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/8533/breakbotpg7.jpg

    Reply

  18. Posted October 20, 2008 at 8:38 pm | Permalink

    close-to-santa claus’ beard = eww
    “homeless” fashion = not bad especially with designer shoes and bags

    crls, what’s d best zombie flick ever?

    Reply

  19. noxyz
    Posted October 20, 2008 at 10:45 pm | Permalink

    best bearded man on the market
    http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v336/26/59/563572700/n563572700_901746_2884.jpg

    Reply

  20. Posted October 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    el guincho is the homeless winner of my heart 4evr

    Reply

  21. sookie stackhouse
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 8:46 am | Permalink

    sufjan stevens is still so fuckable…even w/ that ludicrisp prison pussie on his face.

    Reply

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    Reply

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