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AltBro or AltBGGT?

AltBro or AltBGGT is an HRO gimmick where the reader must decide if the bro pictured is an altBro or an altBGGT. An altBGGT is a bro is is post-altBro, comes off as a little bit of a Bag, but is still pretty ghey/fggt.

Please justify your answer to receive a free AltGoodieBag full of mp3s, candy, and memes.
For example: “He is an altBro because of his post-childpred glasses.”
or: “He is an AltBGGT because of his leopard/cheetah leggings + altMan Purse.”

What do yall think? This 1 is kinda difficult.

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45 Comments

  1. Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    He is an alt bag because he carries a tote bag.
    And every self respecting alt bro wears the vest as the only outerwear.

    Reply

  2. altBGGTs 4 lyfe
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:23 pm | Permalink

    can altbros even be ghey? i mean i know its 2008 but cum on. (me)

    Reply

  3. Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    btw, 1st, but this bro is totes an altbggt. look at that manpurse/totebag/wtf with his flick of the wrist gay-itude. some more reasons why he is an altbggt:
    a. cheetah print faggypants
    b. fagstyle hair cut with gel/cum/somethingabtmary in it
    c. his jacket is totally a from the ‘juniors’ section at macys
    d. look at his boots, jesus..
    also, i thought fggts were supposed to have relatively ‘good’ fashion sense, but not this fgggggt he is just a total fggt that his fggtbros threw over the fence into the lion exhibit at the _____ zoo to be devoured by altLions.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anony
    //////////Posted

    @anony, damnit i took 2long to type this

    Reply

    //////////Reply by altBGGTs 4 lyfe
    //////////Posted

    anony,

    im sad im on the internet. anyone else?

    Reply

  4. in club
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    altBGGT in teh post industrialized altPARK

    Reply

  5. bejuh
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    mst dfntly altbggt. anony pretty much nailed it, but I just wanted to reinforce his argument. I never thought this was possible till now, be he even looks like he sounds ghey. I can’t imagine him speaking without sounding like a bggt.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anony
    //////////Posted

    @bejuh,
    yeah i was thinking the same thing. strong gaylisp on this one 4rl. look into his eyes and see how strongly he thrives for a cock in his ass and/or mouth. i would go as far as saying he is a bottom.

    Reply

  6. mory
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    altbggt. he obv flaps it with those chains in his downtime.

    Reply

  7. Oh lawd
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm | Permalink

    i want to photoshop a cup of tea into his limp little hand.

    and where is this guy even going? the grocery? thrifting? i bet he’s just going to hang out in some college library bathroom and solicit sex. yes. that is what this guy is going to go do.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Oh lawd
    //////////Posted

    also, i forgot to say he is definitely an altbggt. what sets it off for me is those god-damn pants/leggings things. fucking cheetah, really? there are 15 year old girls that won’t even wear those but somehow this asshole thinks he can pull them off. no. he cannot.

    Reply

  8. Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    ALTBGGT because he has a mad case of GAY FACE!

    haha

    Reply

  9. Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    AltBGGT x 2mill

    Biggest reasn: THE HAND GESTURE. Cum on, rlly?
    Next in line: the VEST. with the leather jacket. the combination turns him into a superfggt.
    Addtly: the Boots.

    This effin broski looks so confused, alone, terrified and straight out of 2070.

    Reply

  10. Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    gawker linked

    Reply

  11. Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    He is an altbggt because of his riding boots and Frenchman’s wave.

    Reply

  12. Chris
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:43 pm | Permalink

    Debate resolved.

    Altbggt for sure;

    1. Bondage bracelets. (Dead-ass giveaway)

    no straight bro, whether an altBro or simply regBro is into bondate, the rest of it just adds on but mostly the bondage (ghey) bracelets say the most on the baggt-ness.

    (coming in a close second is the coconut-oiled-up-hair style (the kind you had back in 6th grade haha), highly questionable, highly flamboyant).

    Reply

  13. Cmen
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    ALTBGGT: perhaps its the hint of a raspberry lip tint on his mouth or the way his handle gently curdles over his man purse?

    Reply

  14. anonymous
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    im jacking the leather jack, scrap the rest, way to faggish i saw a girl dressed too close to this the other night.

    Reply

  15. caswell
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    harsh guys harsh, it looks like hes a straight altbro who asks all the wrong females for fashion advice.

    “LEGGINGS ON GUYS? THAT WOULD BE SO T0TALLLY HAWT”

    Reply

  16. InnyVinny
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

    AltBggt…knee high boots on d00ds should always be docs. Or wellies. And never with leggings. Ever.

    Wispy facial hair does not help the cause either.

    Reply

  17. jon
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

    Alt bggt equation
    isaac hayes/ bondage chains — http://www.theloveunlimited.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/isaac.jpg
    +
    riding boots
    +
    vanilla ice hair-ramp
    +
    semi-interested purse-holding right hand poise
    =
    alt bggt

    Reply

  18. krai
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    ALTBGGT: every piece he’s wearing = brandnew.

    result: uber-fggt

    Reply

  19. somehpstr
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    raging flamer

    Reply

  20. †upalki
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    OMG!!
    HE’S DA DEFINITION OF ALTBGGT !!!IIII

    Reply

  21. †upalki
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    I wonder when there will an authentic alt character in the hit television program show The Gassip Girls..

    Will he be:
    ALTBAG/ALTBRO/ALTFGGT/ALTAZN/MEXIAZN/MEXIALT/BLIPSTR/SPARKADDICTALT/C.Y.O.Alt/altMILF/?

    Reply

  22. dax jax
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    He’s got milky-white skin. He looks like he bathes in the sperm of virgins.

    Reply

  23. Posted November 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    what about altTARD and this is the dumbest trolley shit i have ever heard or seen. what about that.

    Reply

  24. andrew maccity smack
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:02 pm | Permalink

    altbag because of the vest, boots and the glasses dont even work. hes also homo bc of the way hes standing

    Reply

  25. vipster
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm | Permalink

    ALTBGGT duh

    he looks like Jonas bros thought their l00k wasnt EDGY/ZANY enuff so they took inspiration from ghey punkz… i mean 4rll leather members onlie jacket?

    ryan seabreast hair gel?

    graffik tea color cowordinates with leggins?

    aviator/preddies?

    <3 him but he looks like a go go dancer from a ghey club on his way to an “indie” sunday brunch in the sement park

    Reply

  26. Caitlin
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

    pretty sure this one qualifies as CTRL+ALT+DUSH.

    Reply

  27. gabe asher
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    total altbggt
    personal brand = daring individ. w/ bad taste

    Reply

  28. dev
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    he is an altbag because he is trying to pull off too much at once, and because he’s too self aware

    Reply

  29. freddy
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 6:00 pm | Permalink

    dude’s gay as fuck bRO for like 3 reasons 1. teh limp wrist 2. gaybootz 3. leggingz and extra 4th being the paradoxical way he holds his messenger bag cocked in such a position as almost to suggest he didn’t get it in the ass the night b4.. but totes did.

    Reply

  30. idk
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    he’s neither! Hez mall regular: leggings, AA, knee high boots. he dresses like a 15 y/o girl

    Reply

  31. Trashman
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    OH he is such a baggot!
    just look at:
    the 135 degree angle of his hand
    the position of his head
    the amount of jewelry
    them crazy red lepard pant
    them women’s boots
    that wack fauxhawk on his head
    that purse on his shoulder
    this 2k7 hipster vest
    them neerdy i wanna be alt glasses
    ….
    …….
    ………

    grasping for my breath

    bggt alert!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Trashman
    //////////Posted

    he is just plainly wack

    Reply

  32. altb@g.com
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 7:57 pm | Permalink

    he threatens my heterbrosexuality.

    Reply

  33. corea
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 8:08 pm | Permalink

    authaltbggt

    Reply

  34. whip it whip it
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    AltBggt

    if he had boobs/vag he could be an entrylevel AltGurl

    Reply

  35. mjr
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    ALTBGGT. the pants, the boots, but mostly, the pout.

    Reply

  36. Guido
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 9:04 pm | Permalink

    lik my filipino knife fighting teacher told me, watch the wrist

    bggt

    Reply

  37. zppt
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 11:43 pm | Permalink

    he is a bggt cos he looks like a greaser who couldn’t find his pants so just grabbed his mother’s. also the glasses.

    Reply

  38. Sunny Cheeba
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 2:48 am | Permalink

    Maybe he’s the elusive altbrggt: one quarter alt, one quarter bro, one quarter fag, and one quarter d-bag in perfect harmony and balance……No wait, that’s just a fggt.

    Reply

  39. Eric
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    he is adorable, and he pulls the look off nicely…a little behind the times, but thats ok.

    Reply

  40. Eric
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 9:54 am | Permalink

    P.S. i noticed most of the people posting comments on this site are LAME because they use the word “fggt” in a derogatory sense. a TRUE ALT would never say such hateful things. a TRUE ALT promotes peace and unity!!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anony
    //////////Posted

    @Eric,
    true alts know what being authentic is and this my authentic way of saying stfu:
    DIE IN A FIRE FGGT

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Jesse
    //////////Posted

    @anony,
    ^^wtvr…ur prbly a failed fggt gone criagslist

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anony
    //////////Posted

    @Jesse,
    u wish so then u could ‘buy’ me on the human trafficing site and do unspeakable things.

  41. lol
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 4:27 pm | Permalink

    carlesbian

    Reply

  42. lol
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 4:30 pm | Permalink

    blog abwt lesbians

    Reply

  43. NsoLOLers
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 11:02 pm | Permalink

    YWN. gmmk was good for at least 25 blog yrs but 1months lata im thinkin of gvn up on it yall. wht do u think CRLS? mayb 2 HGH i duno

    Reply

  44. Posted November 13, 2008 at 1:10 am | Permalink

    i def. have to go w/ altbggt on this one…

    Reply

  45. Alx K
    Posted November 13, 2008 at 9:30 pm | Permalink

    definite alt bggt. its not just the leggingz or the bag butt the way hez presenting hmslf. complete 0pp0site of altbro

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Alx K
    //////////Posted

    @Alx K, look at his limp wristed hand its pretty fckng funny

    Reply

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