AltBro or AltBGGT is an HRO gimmick where the reader must decide if the bro pictured is an altBro or an altBGGT. An altBGGT is a bro is is post-altBro, comes off as a little bit of a Bag, but is still pretty ghey/fggt.
Please justify your answer to receive a free AltGoodieBag full of mp3s, candy, and memes.
For example: “He is an altBro because of his post-childpred glasses.”
or: “He is an AltBGGT because of his leopard/cheetah leggings + altMan Purse.”
What do yall think? This 1 is kinda difficult.
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
45 Comments
He is an alt bag because he carries a tote bag.
And every self respecting alt bro wears the vest as the only outerwear.
Reply
can altbros even be ghey? i mean i know its 2008 but cum on. (me)
Reply
btw, 1st, but this bro is totes an altbggt. look at that manpurse/totebag/wtf with his flick of the wrist gay-itude. some more reasons why he is an altbggt:
a. cheetah print faggypants
b. fagstyle hair cut with gel/cum/somethingabtmary in it
c. his jacket is totally a from the ‘juniors’ section at macys
d. look at his boots, jesus..
also, i thought fggts were supposed to have relatively ‘good’ fashion sense, but not this fgggggt he is just a total fggt that his fggtbros threw over the fence into the lion exhibit at the _____ zoo to be devoured by altLions.
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 11th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
@anony, damnit i took 2long to type this
Reply
//////////Reply by altBGGTs 4 lyfe
//////////Posted November 11th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
anony,
im sad im on the internet. anyone else?
Reply
altBGGT in teh post industrialized altPARK
Reply
mst dfntly altbggt. anony pretty much nailed it, but I just wanted to reinforce his argument. I never thought this was possible till now, be he even looks like he sounds ghey. I can’t imagine him speaking without sounding like a bggt.
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 11th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
@bejuh,
yeah i was thinking the same thing. strong gaylisp on this one 4rl. look into his eyes and see how strongly he thrives for a cock in his ass and/or mouth. i would go as far as saying he is a bottom.
Reply
altbggt. he obv flaps it with those chains in his downtime.
Reply
i want to photoshop a cup of tea into his limp little hand.
and where is this guy even going? the grocery? thrifting? i bet he’s just going to hang out in some college library bathroom and solicit sex. yes. that is what this guy is going to go do.
Reply
//////////Reply by Oh lawd
//////////Posted November 11th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
also, i forgot to say he is definitely an altbggt. what sets it off for me is those god-damn pants/leggings things. fucking cheetah, really? there are 15 year old girls that won’t even wear those but somehow this asshole thinks he can pull them off. no. he cannot.
Reply
ALTBGGT because he has a mad case of GAY FACE!
haha
Reply
AltBGGT x 2mill
Biggest reasn: THE HAND GESTURE. Cum on, rlly?
Next in line: the VEST. with the leather jacket. the combination turns him into a superfggt.
Addtly: the Boots.
This effin broski looks so confused, alone, terrified and straight out of 2070.
Reply
gawker linked
Reply
He is an altbggt because of his riding boots and Frenchman’s wave.
Reply
Debate resolved.
Altbggt for sure;
1. Bondage bracelets. (Dead-ass giveaway)
no straight bro, whether an altBro or simply regBro is into bondate, the rest of it just adds on but mostly the bondage (ghey) bracelets say the most on the baggt-ness.
(coming in a close second is the coconut-oiled-up-hair style (the kind you had back in 6th grade haha), highly questionable, highly flamboyant).
Reply
ALTBGGT: perhaps its the hint of a raspberry lip tint on his mouth or the way his handle gently curdles over his man purse?
Reply
im jacking the leather jack, scrap the rest, way to faggish i saw a girl dressed too close to this the other night.
Reply
harsh guys harsh, it looks like hes a straight altbro who asks all the wrong females for fashion advice.
“LEGGINGS ON GUYS? THAT WOULD BE SO T0TALLLY HAWT”
Reply
AltBggt…knee high boots on d00ds should always be docs. Or wellies. And never with leggings. Ever.
Wispy facial hair does not help the cause either.
Reply
Alt bggt equation
isaac hayes/ bondage chains — http://www.theloveunlimited.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/isaac.jpg
+
riding boots
+
vanilla ice hair-ramp
+
semi-interested purse-holding right hand poise
=
alt bggt
Reply
ALTBGGT: every piece he’s wearing = brandnew.
result: uber-fggt
Reply
raging flamer
Reply
OMG!!
HE’S DA DEFINITION OF ALTBGGT !!!IIII
Reply
I wonder when there will an authentic alt character in the hit television program show The Gassip Girls..
Will he be:
ALTBAG/ALTBRO/ALTFGGT/ALTAZN/MEXIAZN/MEXIALT/BLIPSTR/SPARKADDICTALT/C.Y.O.Alt/altMILF/?
Reply
He’s got milky-white skin. He looks like he bathes in the sperm of virgins.
Reply
what about altTARD and this is the dumbest trolley shit i have ever heard or seen. what about that.
Reply
altbag because of the vest, boots and the glasses dont even work. hes also homo bc of the way hes standing
Reply
ALTBGGT duh
he looks like Jonas bros thought their l00k wasnt EDGY/ZANY enuff so they took inspiration from ghey punkz… i mean 4rll leather members onlie jacket?
ryan seabreast hair gel?
graffik tea color cowordinates with leggins?
aviator/preddies?
<3 him but he looks like a go go dancer from a ghey club on his way to an “indie” sunday brunch in the sement park
Reply
pretty sure this one qualifies as CTRL+ALT+DUSH.
Reply
total altbggt
personal brand = daring individ. w/ bad taste
Reply
he is an altbag because he is trying to pull off too much at once, and because he’s too self aware
Reply
dude’s gay as fuck bRO for like 3 reasons 1. teh limp wrist 2. gaybootz 3. leggingz and extra 4th being the paradoxical way he holds his messenger bag cocked in such a position as almost to suggest he didn’t get it in the ass the night b4.. but totes did.
Reply
he’s neither! Hez mall regular: leggings, AA, knee high boots. he dresses like a 15 y/o girl
Reply
OH he is such a baggot!
just look at:
the 135 degree angle of his hand
the position of his head
the amount of jewelry
them crazy red lepard pant
them women’s boots
that wack fauxhawk on his head
that purse on his shoulder
this 2k7 hipster vest
them neerdy i wanna be alt glasses
….
…….
………
grasping for my breath
bggt alert!
Reply
//////////Reply by Trashman
//////////Posted November 11th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
he is just plainly wack
Reply
he threatens my heterbrosexuality.
Reply
authaltbggt
Reply
AltBggt
if he had boobs/vag he could be an entrylevel AltGurl
Reply
ALTBGGT. the pants, the boots, but mostly, the pout.
Reply
lik my filipino knife fighting teacher told me, watch the wrist
bggt
Reply
he is a bggt cos he looks like a greaser who couldn’t find his pants so just grabbed his mother’s. also the glasses.
Reply
Maybe he’s the elusive altbrggt: one quarter alt, one quarter bro, one quarter fag, and one quarter d-bag in perfect harmony and balance……No wait, that’s just a fggt.
Reply
he is adorable, and he pulls the look off nicely…a little behind the times, but thats ok.
Reply
P.S. i noticed most of the people posting comments on this site are LAME because they use the word “fggt” in a derogatory sense. a TRUE ALT would never say such hateful things. a TRUE ALT promotes peace and unity!!
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 12th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@Eric,
true alts know what being authentic is and this my authentic way of saying stfu:
DIE IN A FIRE FGGT
Reply
//////////Reply by Jesse
//////////Posted November 12th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
@anony,
^^wtvr…ur prbly a failed fggt gone criagslist
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
@Jesse,
u wish so then u could ‘buy’ me on the human trafficing site and do unspeakable things.
carlesbian
Reply
blog abwt lesbians
Reply
YWN. gmmk was good for at least 25 blog yrs but 1months lata im thinkin of gvn up on it yall. wht do u think CRLS? mayb 2 HGH i duno
Reply
i def. have to go w/ altbggt on this one…
Reply
definite alt bggt. its not just the leggingz or the bag butt the way hez presenting hmslf. complete 0pp0site of altbro
Reply
//////////Reply by Alx K
//////////Posted November 13th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
@Alx K, look at his limp wristed hand its pretty fckng funny
Reply