What happens when an altBro grows up?
If yall are familiar with high end AltBro theory, then u will know that altBros are typically destined to die alone. AltBros can either 'stay alt' their whole lives since they can't hold down GFs bc no altBro is special enough for any girl to 'settle down with' for more than consecutive weekends for two months.

An AltBro's alternative essence can live as long as he wants, but he will be alone (spiritually and physically) for over 95% of his lifetime. (The few moments of tug may give him enough hope to want to stay alt forever). His wardrobe might stay the same, or it might tweak into an 'alternative business casual + receding hairline', but the altBro will die alone.

An altBro will never become a Cool Dad without ditching his careless altBro mindset. An altBro is not willing to sacrifice his hard earned money to buy essentials for his son/daughter. He is also not mature enough to

If an altBro hasn't transitioned into an altBag by age 27 (or his 6th year of undergrad), then he needs to seriously consider retiring his alternative ways and searching for meaning [via mainstream relationship]. If you're a worried altBro, just enjoy your time, but know that there are critical decisions ahead of you. Know that you need to differentiate before it's too late.

[Photo by TheBrobrasnake]

I am just an altBro. I am not ready for a relationship. I am not ready for responsibility.
I am ready for the weekend. I am ready for my favourite blog 2 update.

[photo by thefriendattack]

Read more altbro theory
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/alternative-bros