A lot of people come 2 my blog and comment with stuff like ‘I h8 all of this hipster bull shit. I am so above it and h8 how all of yall r. Nvr want 2 b like u.”
But this isn’t a blog about hipsters. This is a blog about alt. A lot of people don’t know what “alt” means. They are not sure if it is like “alt-rock” from the 90s, or some sort of zany interpretation of “alternative.” Alt is authentic. Alt is sillie. Alt is a three simple letters that tie us together. We are alt. We are a part of something bigger than ourselves’.
I received an email from a concerned reader:
I kinda have a problem. My sociology class has been assigned a collective project; to assign twenty specific and significant stereotypes to our school. It was a fairly easy assignment until I was confronted with a question that I honest-to-godspeed did not know how to answer. Everyone was just sort of spitting out their favorite social groups to be written on the board. I finally got my word in for Alt, but it raised a bit of a tumult in the classroom.
People demanded to know what Alt was. I was dumbfounded by their idiocy…but then I realized that I really didn’t know what to say.
I described an Alt to them.
I explained what an Altbro looks like, entry-levels too.
I told them about the characteristics of an Authentic Alt.
But I couldn’t even provide a decent definition for any of the three.
S0//DESPAIRED//
////EMBRSSD////
/FRUSTRATED/
I’ve been depressed ever since.
plz help
HOW DO YOU DEFINE “ALT”?
HOW//DO//U//DEFINE//ALT?
AN ESSAY/MEME CONTEST PRESENTED BY THE POPULAR WEBLOG HIPSTER RUNOFF
A lot of people don’t know the difference between “HIPSTER” and “ALT.”
It is ur job as an informed citizen 2 let the ppl know what the difference is. How is ‘alt’ different than anything else that has evr come b4?
“Hipster” is a term for mainstream news publications & startup ‘progressive’ journalistic outlets 2 talk about to cultivate interest in what they are doing with people who use the internet.
Remember that time that Adbusties wrote that article that every1 was s000 ‘up in arms’ abt?
If ur going to write an article/opinion piece about hipsters, u must have phrases like these in ur writing:
- “an army of drones wearing American Apparel”
- “with a can of PBR/sparks in hand”
- “nonchalantly gazing past the DJ”
- [statement about lighting a cigarette]+ [statement about moving hair out of eyes]
- “armed with their parents’ money”
- “after reading the latest blog post”
- “coffee shop glistening with the glow of Macbooks”
- “iPods filled with music from __________”
- “blinded me with the brightness of his tshirt”
- “vapid _______”
- “hoping to end up on a party pictures site the next day”
- “after inconspicuously coming out of the bathroom”
- [Anecdote about how some bro doesn't take life seriously]
- [Anecdote about selfishness]
- [Anecdote about unprotected sex]
- [9th grade English class commentary abt 'consumerism']
- ‘bohemian’
- ‘cannibalize’
- reference to ‘Vice Do’s and Don’ts’
[Please note that from the years 2000-2015, every journalistic entity will be required to have a progressive opinion piece on the 'hipster' and what it means to 'society' which will cause ppl to be s00 mad abt 'hipsters' (& old people will ask u what a hipster is after they see it).]
Should I go 2 journalism skewl s0 that I can write hardhitting opinion pieces on ‘why culture is s000 bad’ and how ‘things r worse than evr’ cuz ‘every1 is s00 full of shit’ & we r just ‘a bunch of consumers’ kinda like ‘another brick in the wall’ but ‘gen y thinx they r s00 special’ but ‘they’re not’ bc ‘they all look the same’ but they ‘don’t even realize it’ cuz they ‘didn’t even g0 2 college’ or ‘they did but they don’t care’ and how in the end, ‘we all eat at Chili’s’?
We/just/want/2/talk/abt/ourselves/&/find/out/who/we/r.
Here is another keut piece about ‘hipsters’ and how it’s ’s000 sillie’ that ‘no1 admits 2 being 1.’
Video may not be viewable in ur RSS reader.
[via SB&TVC]
Remember when the HIPSTER OLYMPICS went viral? (h8 it when memes are no longer viral // miss u)
n e ways…
just trying to say, there is a huuuge difference between “ALT” and “HIPSTER.”
We have a chance to get authenticity back from bull shit mainstream labels that don’t even capture who we are.
Are yall with me? YES WE CAN.
This is the era of alt. I’m excited.
No more Bush. No more ‘hipster.’
More Barry Obammy. More ‘alt.’
h8 labels. Just want to be who I really am and transcend labels.
The winner’s meme/essay/cmmnt/meaningful vimeo video will be published on the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF. You will also receive a meaningful email from Carles.
“I’m not a hipster. I’m alt.”
-Carles, 2k8
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
51 Comments
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……….”…\………. _.·´
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ALT BRO FIST///////////
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IF U DONT POST THIS TO 5 ALTBROS THEN U ARENT AN ALTBRO////////////////
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fuck yall
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 12:42 pm
@hipster, why don’t you wash your hair or something?
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\m/ ALT TILL I DIE \m/
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Very good post.
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Wahh doesnt matter what we are.
Everybody is ALT when reached a certain age (look up the german meaning of “alt”) ;D
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i need to get a sparks and start working on my essay
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//////////Reply by g
//////////Posted November 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
@studio231, dewd, best way to write, finished my uc statement in like 20 min from that mind fuel. lol.
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are they even in the same category?
i thought they weren’t mutually exclusive..
cant you be an alt and a hipster?
IN MY STUDIES
facts:
1. a hipster is also a type of alt.
2. a hipster can’t not be an alt.
3. an alt is not by default a hipster but has all potential to be one (once evolving through various stages, kinda like pokémon)
what else can an alt evolve into? are there non-specific alts?
m0r3 HALPz plz
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//////////Reply by yall
//////////Posted November 20th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
@in club, it’s a little bit more ‘complicated’ than pokemen.
here’s a diagram to help you out:
http://i34.tinypic.com/apk843.jpg
we’re all gonna die eventually, yall. unless we reach the enlightenment, then we live forever.
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//////////Reply by jolson
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 5:37 am
@yall, Very informative diagram.
But I think Pokemon was at least that complicated. Like Evee. It could turn into like 7 different things.
And I guess “death” would have to be swapped with “fainted.”
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//////////Reply by bicuriousaltbitch
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 7:35 am
@in club, I’m a fire resistant altimon, ASL?
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@in club, a hipster is a type of douche bag, not a type of alt; an aesthetic devoid of authenticity. For example… a hipster would probably not say that “dear science” was highly overrated… even though it was.
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//////////Reply by in club
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 pm
@anony,
still so lost. who am i even anymore?
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Alts were more alt when guys who fought in the big one called them “white negroes.”
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ALT is a state of mind…it’s like the dawn of a new hpstr…one that ‘gets’ stuff, like that we all live in a consumer/capitalist society and that it’s not about being ‘the nxt big thing’ or ‘more zany than the nxt bro’ it’s just about being urslf and ‘doing yer thang’ whether out on the dancefloor our at your local coffee shop. ALTs can still do all the things that hpstrs do like read blogs/hypem/get blazed/sniff/drink sparks+pabst+JD/go to festivals but were a lil more self concious in the fact that we make sure not to get ‘caught up in the scene’… kinda like that song by frankmusik about the girl who does wAy toO much ecstacy and spends all her time doing her hoola hoop thing….I dunno. I guess in a nutshell Alt is like the next gen of Alternative lifestyles…and I think the spelling of it encapsulates our generation’s/movement’s need to spll evrythng lk u do in a txt msg. But whatevr….Alt is kinda like god in the way that it doesn’t ‘exist’ but it is just kinda inside all of us…kinda like the way that microchips will be in our babiez. <3 ya Crls. Yall is alt is yall!
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Part of alt meme never dies
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Hipster: some1 who would deny being a hipster, but be happy that someone called them hip/ some1 who doesn’t ‘get’ it
Alt: Some1 who would say “I was a hipster in 2k7, now I’m an alt”, some1 who is ‘over it’
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kinda confused about authenticity after seein’ this
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I mean this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/valido/3015689658/
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I’m tired of people h8n on hipsters…we need to reclaim that word & feel empowered.
HIPSTR PWRFL PWR
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 12:55 pm
@raygun, I’m content with the term remaining strictly as a “marketing demographic” and derogatory term for alt posers.
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i dont know. this whole thing is very strange for me. cant i just like good music without having to live for something thats “greater than ourselves”? i mean shit, i appreciate style, but why do we even need name tags people? thats what we are people. some dumb, some smart, some redneck, some “cool kids”, some fatties, some tweakers and some coke/sprxx heads. i dont know i guess im jst dffrnt from yall cuz i dont want to be part of anything. crls, if this is about “finding yourself” well im here to tell you that, after you do, and blg abt it, it will alrdy be lame bcuz evry1 is doin it. the search truly will be to find out who we are as individuals. the punchline here is that mainstream will always be mainstream. it will never be cool. so alts/hipsters/whatever will always have some1 to look down on and call ‘less informed’. IN CNCLSN to my S.A. as long as we can feel cooler and more ‘with it’ than most people it doesn’t matter who we are. ha.
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//////////Reply by old skool r34dr
//////////Posted November 20th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
@not anything,
<3 entry levels <3 s00 cute
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//////////Reply by not anything
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 12:03 am
@old skool r34dr, exactly. ‘oldSToolrdr’ needs people like “me” to exist. we cant all be kings.
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//////////Reply by schizo
//////////Posted December 2nd, 2008 at 8:15 pm
s0 deep <3
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h3rE y33 heR3 y33!!!!
Alt is a definitive momma category in which stylish, semi-anorex boys and girls are able to establish smaller sub-categories to define their culture.
Like: whales are a species of mammal.
Alt-Bro is a species of Alt-boy.
Alt-Bait is a species of Alt-girl.
i 4m 2 un-n3wB 4 tHis.
I pr3f3r3nc3 hasing cheezburgr.
The number one rule of alt- is sexyness.
The number two rule of alt- is classyness.
(1 sHolD g3T p4iD 4 tHi5)
-Buck
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You guys are way behind on this blog. Alt is so November 19th.
I’m Tla. It’s my lifestyle and the future of all things meaningful. One day with much dedication and with a repudiation of your trendy hipster/alt lifestyles may too become Tla.
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//////////Reply by not anything
//////////Posted November 20th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
someday i’LL b a “POSTIE”, some1who is post-evrythng, so eim alwys Astep Ahead.
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this shit is wack.
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hahah, my friend jess wrote that article and when i made fun of her for being a hipster herself she threw all her spin and nylon mags at me.
TRUE STORY
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2K9: ALT ERA BEGINS
this post was s000000 meaningful thx crls you rlly make me feel better on my search for authenticity in this zany world <3 yallxxxxxx
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alt is living an authentic life. authentix lives are important to alts cuz we don’t like l00king at copies. we want different ppl to look at cuz different ppl make our lives more interesting. alt is pursuing meaningful interests. alt is prbbly having some altbro friends. alt is having unique clothing and is sorta like ‘getting it’ (in quotes) cuz we have 2 live in an entry-level and/or non-alt world that ‘don’t get it’. but that’s ok, we like them and know they would prlly be happi3r with an altmind.
hipsters don’t want n e more hipsters cuz hipsters are not authentic. other hipsters in the area steal all the irony and leave N0NE for the others. alts want more alts as long as they are unique ppl.
i see a shift. i see a shift towards more alt-ness. with obammy and the dipster economieses, ppl care less about money$ and more about meaning$.
does this mean that current alts will have to find the next alt version, ALTv.2.0b2?
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resist temptation of falling into the mainstream
obviously the mainstream is blind, they are socially controlled by everything they see that is supposed to be “cool” or “meaningful”
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“There’s no such thing as an “alt tag”. Alt is an attribute of the img tag.” – crls teaching me how to make a neater blog in html
do i gots it yet?
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//////////Reply by jolson
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 5:40 am
@sinister_eyebrowz, hahahahahaha
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has everyone abandoned the term “scenester” for “hipster” now?
for me i found it weird whenever anyone brought up the word scenester because there are so many different scenes, it’s hard to know what they are talking about.
i see ALT as being inclusive to any scene that sits outside the mainstream. u don’t even have to be “hip” or “cool” to be ALT.. just so long as you are embracing your separation from the “status quo”
ALT culture is the birthplace of new ideas.. when the ideas grow up a bit they might be homogenized into mainstream culture so there is always going to be a bit of a crossover. If you are looking for a more authentic ALTernative experience.. my advice is that if you can find a show or party where booze is being sold without a license, you are on the right track.
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Fuck ya’ll I’m a hipster and your all hipsters, I’m just not afraid to label myself. Crls your just a dumb hipster who tries desperately to be a trend setter. Alt is just a classification of a hipster. We will not DIE!
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is this like chris rock’s “niggers VS black people”
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been alt meens u r aware of ur place in da club & evn if u r alone it is okay bcuz u are there 4 the music not 2 b on partie pics sites (evn tho u end up on them NEway). alts don’t have an oufit; we have a wardrobe. alts know better then ~hipster strtyps~ and avoid AA in da club but wear it when they r hngovr. Alt is getting drizzunk and dancin when the hpstrs are just standing trying 2 b kewl. Alt is pimples: u know of ur flaws but u r cmftble w/ urself & r not ashamed of it. alt is been alone and introspective but not enuff not to talk to young boiz and have dnc floor makeouts.
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lame
nobody cares about this
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//////////Reply by bicuriousaltbitch
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 7:42 am
@Jon B. Ramsey, oh well that’s settled then
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@Jon B. Ramsey, <-hipster
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
If you have ever been to a party or show where there was a “party pix” photographer present you might be a hipster.
If you have ever thrown out a “jimmy eat world” CD or other album you might be a hipster.
If you ever liked a musician more “before they went mainstream” you might be a hipster.
If you only do blow off a macbook or ipod you might be a hipster.
If you bought a macbook or ipod without considering other options you might be a hipster.
If you refused to listen to an album because pitchfork gave it less than a 5 you might be a hipster.
If you bought an album because pitchfork gave it more than an 8 you might be a hipster.
If you have Vice on the coffee table rather than a random pile you might be a hipster.
If you think that everyone at pitchfork is a douche bag yet their opinion is still relevant you might be an alt.
If you have been fired from nearly every job you have ever worked even through you put in a genuine effort you might be an alt.
I’m too tired/don’t care enough to make this any better.
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//////////Reply by fagsW/bags
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
@anony, yeah i didn’t read that. except for the last one. mothafuckin alts ona mothafuckin plane
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//////////Reply by UM
//////////Posted December 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@anony,
Pitchfork? PITCHFORK? Uh … are you from 2003 come to the future to warn us about the past? ROFL
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if you are in to stuff that doesn’t suck
this place be happenin, http://l4do.blogspot.com/, you can only come if you like to be cool and you dont suck and stuff.
we plan on bringing some tshirt designs (HOPEFULLY ON AMURRICAN APUURRAL TEEZ BITCH) from the greater northwest to your face
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 1:05 pm
@travnasty, thats an interesting idea… I think infant t-shirts would fit pretty well over someones face without falling down around their neck and I can think of quite a few situations where this might be helpful.
/is this post hipster or alt? you decide.
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long pst but vry msngful! alt is a way of life
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted November 20th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
@dev, and a state of mind
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fuck yall
the girl from black20 said that she loves meeeeeeee
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ur either alt or not…..it can’t be defined
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u ppl are all dumb. every1 nos that the tru diffrence is that ppl hoo r alt shop @ americun applerl like 4 tyms a month and ppl hoo r hipsters shop there only 3 tyms. srsly. i lernt this in my really awesome clss about social relashions cuz im aware about the wrld and crap lyk that…
being a hipster or “alt” means pretending you don’t conform by conforming to the minority rather than the majority. is it a coincidence that this group of “individualists” all happen to dress and think the same?
american apparel and it’s pseudointellectual drones…
bein hipster is lyk having a vinyl disc drive in ur macbook lolool!
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//////////Reply by iluffbutIh8
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 5:11 pm
@katya, THIS DESERVES TO BE THE WINNING ENTRY. srsly, ur soorite. ha fggts.
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//////////Reply by Jah
//////////Posted December 13th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
@iluffbutIh8, i am in agreeance
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//////////Reply by bucksnot
//////////Posted December 15th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
@Jah, CRLS!!i wish yur gimmicks askshully followed through. GIVE THIS GIRL A PRIZE DAMN IT!
if you read this entire post you are not alt
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http://www.hipsterjunkie.com/post/60848146/blog-is-dead-nu-blog-is-the-post-modern
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//////////Reply by old skool r34dr
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 7:35 am
@hipsterjunkie_,
srry the hipster runoffers is much better blog website.
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//////////Reply by i
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
@old skool r34dr, “and i want a haute mexicalt crls peen.”
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//////////Reply by hipster_junkie
//////////Posted December 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
@i, which is why you are choking it down…
when the emonenyy tanks so will the hips/alts, “the scene is dead” we all killed it, no one will be abel to afford, to have a care free lifestyle and party all the time, no one will be abel to afford macbooks and pretty soon blue ribben will even be to expensive, we will have to sell are aa just to afford the cocaine to suport our habbits, to mean alt just seems like the beatnick version of hipsters,
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Alt is much greater then hipster.
Hipster is image nothing more: they only care about what they look like, or where they’re seen–hipsters are generally dumb and hot.
Alt is being an individual–it just seems there are too many individuals around. alts however can look ugly in an interesting kind of way and read books.
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//////////Reply by dev
//////////Posted November 21st, 2008 at 7:24 am
@rhino,
this definition gets 16 points! bookz r gr8. hipsters just carry books to seem intellectual, evrythng is a look 2 them
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//////////Reply by laurn!
//////////Posted February 27th, 2009 at 4:43 am
@rhino,
puuuuurfectly said.
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here in britain our subculturz r still defined by where/who/what/how rather than things on screens yo
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Q: Is it true that somewhere in the world ALT 2.0 is being developed by some secret sciency lab people?
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i fucking love making fun of young people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A hipster is someone thats into being hip, doing and being into what’s cool / trendy / new and interesting.
An alt is someone who doesn’t fit in with / opposes / differs from / is an alternative to mainstream culture
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//////////Reply by joey vaneltine
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2008 at 5:24 am
@Winnie, okay fasshh is 20 years behind, music is ten years, hipsters hit all the new trends before they hit the mainstream market alt hipsters are both before mainstream culture like you said
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ps, i want to work it out with the girl in the AA ad with the blue socks. CRLS can you hook it up?
just sayin,
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Not all alts are hipsters but hipsters arent always alts. True hipsters are alts but you can’t catch one. If someone tells you their hipster, there def not an alt.
(guy whose not a hipster)
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“If you label me, you negate me.”
- Soren Kierkegaard
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thanks for shouting me out in this articule you fucken urban outfitters of ideas.. you read your comment section and base your next blog about the shit we bring up and then totally forget about the only thing that makes your pathetic fucking waste of time worth reading, the COMMENTS!! we ARE hipsterrunoff carles is just the product of the internet collecting our subconscious thoughts, and then personifying them.
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//////////Reply by carlsghost
//////////Posted November 30th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
@fweddy, FWGGT.
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What is authenticity tho? What is Alt outside the party/blog? Why Hipsters like rap/mixtapes/baile funk/techno/black metal but Alts only 4 Electro? Answr thes entry level qustions pleas.
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alt = slf > fshn
hip = fshn> slf
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wtf happened to indies? some punker chick in santa cruz called me an indie cuz we didnt give her bf a cig. huh>?
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an alt is simply someone who leads an alt lifestyle; that is, NOT a mainstream lifestyle. ALT is a very broad term.
ps.Anonymous hating via internet = so hot right now.
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Hipster = Nylon
Alt= Purple Fashion Magazine
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yeah it good
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