A true altbro shares his cig with his altbro.
A true altbro becomes an altbro mentor to entrylevel alts, enabling them 2 ‘become one’ with the group.
A true altbro buys extra tickets to the upcoming show for his altbro who isn’t as CONNECTED as the other altbro (doesn’t have a Mac Laptop yet).
A true altbro plans a meaningful roadtrip to a major metropolitan area for an upcoming music festival for his altbros.
A true altbro is alright without getting tugged by the end of the night, going back home to his altbro’s apartment to play some videogames while listening to meaningful vinyl records.
A true altbro becomes best friends with his altbro’s new girlfriend, eventually ‘developing a crush’ on his altbro’s GF, creating a huge rift in his local altbro subsystem.
A true altbro dates a girl after 2+ of his other altbros dated her.
A true altbro buys an 18-24 pack of beer for all of his altbros without asking for any money in return, but secretly has some resentment for the poorer/moochier altbros of the group.
A true altbro goes online shopping for his altbro’s birthday gift.
A true altbro doesn’t get the same sneakers as his best altbro.
A true altbro makes sure his altbro’s lid is tilted at an appropriate angle.
A true altbro shares the best songs he finds off the hypemachine.
A true altbro makes references to HIPSTERRUNOFF ‘inside jokes’ as if no1 else in the world ‘gets’ it.
All I ever wanted 2 b was an authentic altBro, sharing my unique perspective on the world with my closest group of friends. Girls may come. Girls may go. But my altBros will always be there. We are a sustainable emotional+social economy for one another. PART OF THE ALTBRO NEVER DIES.
What does true altbrohood mean to u?
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IAmCarles.com
26 Comments
omg im an altbro
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“A true altbro buys an 18-24 pack of beer for all of his altbros without asking for any money in return, but secretly has some resentment for the poorer/moochier altbros of the group.”
h@h@ s0 tru
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CREDS TO EMILY BANNON FOR THIS PIC
LOVES HER
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stop im blushing
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crls – these jokes aren’t funny anymore. I know it is probably hard to think of new gimmicks like every day but try something else. Have you been to Williamsburg lately? Things seem to be changing – the old alt culture has gone mainstrm and a new one is developing. luv ya
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//////////Reply by THACHTER
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
@kwame kilpatrick,
dude, crls was nvr funny. this is a srs blog blogging srs stuff srsly. and if ur not going to take it srsly, then srsly leave and dont bother our srs work OK?
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//////////Reply by Anoneeeeemuce
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
@THACHTER, SRS 4 LYFE YALL
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look carles someone is racing 2 get ahead of you in alt points1
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im guilty of a few
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a tru altbro always makes sure to take sum partypics for the blogs the next day
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-a tru AltBr0 will always help another altbro vintage-ify new chuckie Ts so they l@@k us3d + legit
-a true altbro will look 4 ne Xcuse 2 de-shirt
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a true altbro thinks altbros are altbags
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A true altbro wont tell anyone else that you tried to tug him when you thought he was passed out.
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 6th, 2008 at 5:42 am
@Jesse, I thought altbros were already secure enough in their masculinity for the occasional bromantic evening….. but no kissing…. ’cause thats a little ghey.
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sometimes i comment on my own blog. Wait, I write this, write?
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i jus wanna be a brodude now
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//////////Reply by Jesse
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2008 at 4:04 pm
@alt,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zvTRQr7ns8
**B careful out there yall**
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thedayafteryoudie.blogspot.com is soooo bro
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Carles im scared. i look around my room a stack of vinyl records to my left, typing on my imac ahead of me, a stack of old VHS including the starwars trilogy and wes andersons flicks predvd era on my right. Marlboro menthols in my levis, my austin city limits wristband on my keychain.
I fear im becoming an alt-bro, and i dont know how to save myself. Can i be saved or are the polaroids of myself in a obscure field and my copy of catcher in the rye all ill have to reminisce on.
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a true altbro will have a link to this HRO post on his facebook wall from another altbro
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if an alt-bro always shares his cigs with other altbros, do altbags steal cigs from other altbags?
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//////////Reply by SPARKZ89
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
@matt, An altbag offers cigs to everyone present because he is “over material things.”
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted November 6th, 2008 at 5:44 am
@SPARKZ89, it’s all so confusing!
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we are all turning into altbro’s, just hope i then become an altbro version #2. there way cooler and are like master altbro’s with unmatchable wisdom of the altbro culture.
by the way, i’m growing a mo for Movember to raise awareness for men’s health. please support the cause and donate, its what altbro’s and altgirls do…thnaks
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//////////Reply by glamrockonabudget
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2008 at 11:39 pm
@pete, MSTR ALTS!?!?!?!omg
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I think matt and caswell have some rlly good altbro/bag axioms
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“A true altbro becomes best friends with his altbro’s new girlfriend, eventually ‘developing a crush’ on his altbro’s GF, creating a huge rift in his local altbro subsystem.”
S00000 TRU!
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when thrift shopping a true altbro finds a sick shirt seconds after one of his altbros and quickly convinces him that it just not right for him, and then buys it himself on the sly.
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cash money= “A true altbro becomes best friends with his altbro’s new girlfriend, eventually ‘developing a crush’ on his altbro’s GF, creating a huge rift in his local altbro subsystem.”
cash money millionaires= “A true altbro buys an 18-24 pack of beer for all of his altbros without asking for any money in return, but secretly has some resentment for the poorer/moochier altbros of the group.”
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broseidon, king of the brocean.
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That pic is totally cute and heartwarming….. post more lil entry level altbros. The one on the right is definitely post skater entry level altbro; more coverage should be devoted to this important subgenre.
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The most epic post on HRO ever?
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hey look i’m an altbro wwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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