[Photo by lastnitesparty]
Did u know that at least 80% of people surveyed a cross the universe indicated that they would murder some1 if they got the chance 2 'get away with it'? Kinda makes me wonder how I would kill an altBro if I wanted 2 commit 'the perfect crime.'

My murder would be a 2 year plan. I would become best friends with a bro, becoming ABFEAEs (AltBrosForEverAndEver). We would bond about music, clash during debates about fiscal policy/which Radiohead album is the best 1 ever, and go through the usual ups and downs of an altBro relationship. 1 Day, I would push my Soon2BeMurdered Bro 'too far' and get him 'too fucked up' on Sparks/pills/PBR/Bud Light Lime/Southern Comfort/LSD/Herbroin/Meth/etc. I would take him to a major music festival, wearing the mask of our favourite band, the MasterCrafts. I would make sure he wears an popular AA hoodie so that no1 can 'distinguish him from the crowd.'

Would lead him in2 the center of the crowd/moshpit and 'end his lyfe' [via strangling+suffocation with AA white hoodie drawstring. The ppl around him would leave his dead body there to rot for the next 5 days of the music festival. Eventually the festival would end, and only his dust-covered body would remain. If the authorities could use DNA to eventually identify him, then they would contact me 2 see when was the last time I saw him. I would claim that he 'wandered off because he took too much PCP/huffed too much computer dust cleaner. He started getting really into drugs after the new Animal Collective album leaked.'

Beware of your best altbros.

but srsly... if u were gonna kill 1 of ur friends in a modern alternative context, how would u do it?

/// A Perfect Alternative Crime/Murder

XX BONUS MSTRKRFT COVERAGE XX

If I ever become a famous DJ, I will always wear a shirt that proves I am aware of the God Fathers of electro/dance/bloghouse who came b4 me.

DeRosnay&
Augé&
MacaulyCulkinInPartyMonster&
Jeff Buckley's Amphibious Ghost

What would yalls shirt say?