Yall. I was watching meaningful live performances from the alternative utopia known as Portland, Oregon. It seems like a place where I can just be ‘me’ and not worry about the past or the future. I would only have to worry about NOW, and NOW would always be at a meaningful conceptual indie rock show.
/// Just want 2 live in a place with impromptu live performances & a thriving bicycle economy.
Seems like life could be more meaningful there. It’s like a time capsule that preserved various snapshots of the past 50 years when things were free-spirited, well-intentioned, and authentic (and a lil bit dancey).
My major metropolitan area is getting kinda lame, and the scene doesn’t support eachother. Every1 is s0 focused on ‘making it on the internet’ that they neglect the local community. h8 it s0 bad. Just want a thriving local music community with dedicated fans, grassroots/organic marketing possibilities, and some medium-to-high quality indie pop.
Previous Portland Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/mtv-is-discovering-stuff-thats-alt-does-that-mean-its-not-alt-n-e-more-beware-of-the-mainstreamers-2.html
Have yall evr been 2 Portland?
Do they have underground book stores and vegan cuisine options?
Can I ride my vintage bike there as my primary mode of transportation?
Do they have internet wires/connection portals there for my Macbook?
Do they have Chili’ses there?
Just exploring my options, yall… 2k9 is a whole new year… [via barry Obammes]
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IAmCarles.com
62 Comments
Facts about Portland:
– SF-High cost of living=Portland
– My friend who lives there built a tipi in his backyard out of GoreTex
– I saw Dan Deacon at Holocene last Feb and it changed my life
– Rich people live on houseboats on the river [not poor ppl via the South]
– YACHT GRL.
– Seattle-Assholes=Portland
– You can never convince someone who lives in Portland that your city is better. Nvr.
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//////////Reply by pproni & chease
//////////Posted December 14th, 2008 at 8:03 am
@MrkZckrbrg,
this is pretty much spot on
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think i might <3 portland 2 !!
here’s how i’d evaluate city choice –
1. what is the percentage of HRO commenters that live in said city???
2. if 0% of HRO commenters live in city – it’s great to move there.
H8 most of the comments on the blog…. i.e. who cares about labels, art is what art is. chris brown is writing a song bout double your pleasure for teh wriggleys – no no no.
STFU you ppl suck.
just wish moar alts posted their deep concerns/vulnerabilities/fears/hopes/aspirations on these comments inside of “analytical rationales”
just want to live free of constraints y’all.
need to starts a whole new alt colony. Wish there was a song about that.
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there are certainly bikes, gheys, indie rockers (gheys), vegan foods and many other factors which make our fair city seem like an altopian dream, but there are very few chili’s here and I don’t know if I’ve ever witnessed a real life applebees…
we’re starving out here…
fuck…
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//////////Reply by Larry McLurksalot
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
@shermsters,
Dillweed. There is an Applebees behind the Lloyd Center.
(The Lloyd Center is a mall, btw.)
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//////////Reply by shermsters
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
@Larry McLurksalot,
do you think they take foodstamps?
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any big city – black ppl = portland
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//////////Reply by #1-dogg
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
@REMBRANDT FON RIGN,
lol tru portland sucks no good drugs.
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//////////Reply by thATCHER
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
@#1-dogg,
WHAT R U TALKING BOUT DAWG?
WE GOT SOME SOLID METH IN PDX
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//////////Reply by S0R1TE
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
actually, the full formula is:
any big city
- black people
+ all the drama/art kids from your highschool
= portland
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//////////Reply by amber
//////////Posted August 16th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@S0R1TE, hahah I dunno if that “+” is a plus, but at least it’s interesting :P
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just want 2 get tugged from fat handclap grrrl in the back
<3 keeping rhythm s000 much
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//////////Reply by dafe
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
@djstepdadjeans, thats their mom
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http://voodoodoughnut.com/
C.Y.O.D.
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//////////Reply by lol
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
@CYOD,
overrated & female alt employees are bitches.
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Portland is overrated. Everyone I know who moves there looking for utopia ends up leaving in 6 months out of disappointment.
Move to LA instead we have BBQs in January
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//////////Reply by The Man in the Hat
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
@ron,
Only problem with your La pitch is that it is La.
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//////////Reply by ron
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 2:23 am
Actually I revoke my statement, stay away from LA, you east coast ppl are driving up the rent and crowding me out of my favorite spots
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This horrible video of Starfucker entry level fggts clearly does not do the precious city justice. Erik Star only discovered ‘alt’ a few months ago.
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//////////Reply by L.
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
@Anonny,
fuck you d bag. erik star is the greatest EVER. you’re probably just jealous because he doesn’t want to be friends with your lame ass. you’re probably too ugly to hang out with us.
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//////////Reply by d
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@Anonny,
Erik Star= IDOL STATUS
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//////////Reply by A-non
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
@d,
ya ‘Billy Idol’ status u FGGT.
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i put HRO on my resume and i got a job workin’ 4 my dad
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I almost moved to Portland. I went there to check it out and I met this guy who was nice (but short) and he showed me around town and we ate thai food.
He said that 40% of the hipsters in Portland are unemployed. And those that are employed work mainly at coffee houses or do graphic design, ie they are poor. (not so good if you are a single alt broad)
He also said that everyone hangs out in strip clubs for recreation. This does not necessarily mean that you are destined to die broke and alone or that you are super into stripper chicks. It’s just what everyone in Portland does I guess. They even have a vegan strip club, I heard.
Don’t know if any of this is true. (no time to check facts)
I decided I’d much rather stay in Oakland CA, because that spot is really blowin’ up, yall. (as in weekend drive bys and 80 year olds getting beat nearly to death) But seriously, talk about a thriving bike economy and art/music blah blah.. totally worth the violence, imho.
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PORTLAND IZ DEAD. S000 2006. BOH-RING!
THE HOT PLACE 2 MOVE IS WHEREVER THE NEW ANIMAL COLLLLECTIVE RECORD LEAKS.
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PLEASE DO NOT MOVE HERE!
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seattle so much better than p-town. p-townz 4 puzziez. if u are a stuck up hipster who is more hip than every1 else, u move 2 seattle. cant take the heat? get the fuck out.
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crls i live in p0rtland and its not as alt as u think…stay in the uk
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i saw starfucker at holocene, when they opened for why? they are my fave and i would love to live in portland to see the guy from starfucker when i get my coffee at stumptown. but i don’t know if i really want to live there, just want more stuff that happens there happening in my town..
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remember when seth pawned his sail boat and ran away to portland to live with luke and his ghey altfggt dad.
rip mariss, miss u
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//////////Reply by MrkZckrbrg
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
@tha 0 see, One of the greatest moments in Jsh Schwrtz history. <3 season 1 DVDs. And where did Summer’s (non)cool-dad eventually move?
Seattle.
Exactly.
Seth+Luke+Ghey-sailboat=Portland.
PS – Does having Sufjan Stevens played as background music at your funeral make you an alt or just an altbag? h8 you, Johnnie.
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PLEASE DON’T BECOME ANOTHER BROKE-ASS PORTLAND HIPSTER. 90% OF THIS CITY IS JUST THAT. YOU WILL END UP LIVING IN A DIRTY HOUSE WITH 5 OTHER PEOPLE AND DIGGING THROUGH THE ‘BINS’ TO SELL CLOTHES ON EBAY TO PAY YOUR RENT. THERE ARE NO JOBZ HERE, UNLESS YOU COUNT BLOW JOBZ FOR CHEAP COKE (AKA METH) FROM RATTY GIRLS WITH HEADBANDS AND METH-ED UP TEETH.
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srsly kant w8 2 move there, hope i can find a mnstrm job while maintaining my authalt lyfestyle
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I demand you repudiate past comments about Portland, especially in light of your new post.
/DEMAND!
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Everything you’ve heard about Portland is true.
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//////////Reply by kkidmx
//////////Posted July 2nd, 2009 at 4:40 am
@Jonny Pockets, correct
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portland is for FGGTS and Gheys only. That guy who wrote Fight Club lives there, he is a FGGT!
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//////////Reply by whaaaaa
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
@JakeDaSnake,
“That guy who wrote Fight Club”
hahahahahaha
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yall, i grew up in the “nyc-area” (ie: jersey suburb) and now live in brooklyn and all i can say is new york city is the greatest place in the world, and not to mention eternally “alt.”
when i traveled the country with my bros, we went to a lot of other cities. chicago, omaha, PORTLAND, san francisco, los angeles, austin, etc. all of those places were pretty neat, but none could hold a candle new york. it is simply the coolest place ever and most of my friends who have moved to portland are just weak and can’t hack it in nyc. moving to portland is like one step up from moving back into your parent’s house.
also, all the best looking people from all over the world come to new york to live. why you would want to live anywhere else?
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//////////Reply by Ana
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
@a., New York + New Jersey <<<<<<< Portland
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//////////Reply by whaaaaa
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
@Ana,
lemme guess, u’ve nvr been 2 nyc//out of portland period?
LOL
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//////////Reply by Ana
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
@whaaaaa, lol.
I go to ‘design school’ in the ‘NYC area’. Miss Portland so bad.
//////////Reply by t0bacc0
//////////Posted December 11th, 2008 at 3:48 am
@a.,
“moving to portland is like one step up from moving back into your parent’s house.”
-best comment ever
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im with my altbropack, dansin in my fish hat
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even p00p iz alt N p0rtland!
def move herr.
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PLEASE DON’T BECOME ANOTHER BROKE-ASS PORTLAND HIPSTER. 90% OF THIS CITY IS JUST THAT. YOU WILL END UP LIVING IN A DIRTY HOUSE WITH 5 OTHER PEOPLE AND DIGGING THROUGH THE ‘BINS’ TO SELL CLOTHES ON EBAY TO PAY YOUR RENT. THERE ARE NO JOBZ HERE, UNLESS YOU COUNT BLOW JOBZ FOR CHEAP COKE (AKA METH) FROM RATTY GIRLS WITH HEADBANDS AND METH-ED UP TEETH.
^ I had this exact experience except the ratty girl with headbands and meth-ed up teeth was a 40-year-old man with AIDS ^
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So weird that you would want to move to Portland. This is where I live because i’m actually FROM OREGON, y’all. maybe you’ve heard of my hometown: astoria (as seen in the goonies, free willy, the ring 2, kindergarten cop?!). now that portland has become hip destination, USA, small towns like astoria are the truest alt meccas. y’all should stay in your own towns/suburbs to create meaningful subcultures, not just move to a place and consume/kill one that other ppl made! h8 u.
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//////////Reply by Bristol Palin
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
@maranda, What a beautiful comment.
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//////////Reply by AlAskA stAnd up
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Im into scat films!
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//////////Reply by cowboy butts
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
@AlAskA stAnd up, you’re so zany!! take me on a date to chili’s sometime??? <3
//////////Reply by nona
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
@maranda,
most of the kids from my town that want to move there / already have are the ones with super rich parents and are being supported. One actually said “yeah lets move to portland there are so many hipsters I MEAN kids like us there”
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//////////Reply by j-mo
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
@maranda, I totally agree w/u. When i lived in PDX that was the main lesson i learned (and nobody taught it 2 me either), the small towns were more authentic and fertile for the creation of cross-cultural social networks.
keep it real & stay where u are/art!!!!!!! maybe go 2 PDX every now & then for shopping.
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Dear Hipster douche bags…
LERN TO FUCKING SPELL AND STAY OUT OF MY TOWN!!!
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//////////Reply by AlAskA stAnd up
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Dear PDX,
YOUR AWESOME AND COME TO ALASKA!!!
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I know 67% of the people in that video. They’re still in highschool. Is that still cool? FGGTS.
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//////////Reply by AlAskA stAnd up
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
I know 33% of the people in that video. They’re still in highschool and thats fawckin awesome!
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//////////Reply by L.
//////////Posted December 9th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
@AlAskA stAnd up,
i am one of those 67% and i’m friends with like 88%. and we’re seniors and freshman in college, D BAGS.
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//////////Reply by WhAT wHAT
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 1:19 am
@AlAskA stAnd up, um actually if you knew anybody of the people in that video, which you don’t because, i’m in that video. you would know that high school became uncool in 2k6 and everyone in there is at some version of PCC. Lawl
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//////////Reply by who the fuck cares
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 1:56 am
@WhAT wHAT, come on everyone if your were at that show then i’m sure that you know at least 95% of the people in that crowd, portland is fucking tiny!!!! personally I liked the starfucker show where they played on top of a parking garage in downtown portland alot more, wheres the video of that?
seattles better. but prtlnds gotta better heroin scene
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the answer to all of those questions at the end of your post are yes.
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those videos are so lame
so lame
painful 2 watch
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wondering when crls is going to devote a post to fixies.
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There are many hipster douchebags, very few jobs, lots of music and it rains a lot…why would you want to live anywhere else?
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hi,
i am what you would call a true portland native, i was born here, grew up here, and i’ve decided to live the rest of my days here. to all these so called hipster assholes you are destroying the portland i know and love. i don’t know where you all came from but your presence here is unwanted. you are nothing but a sick disgusting plague and its time for you to go. you move in here like rats to build your shitty condos and gentrify what used to be awesome vibrant livable neighborhoods to make room for more lameass white hipsterdom. portland maybe the new cool hip place to live but in 5 years there will be another new hip place to be and i’ll be forced to live with the shit you’ve left behind. please if you know whats good for you leave and move to seattle i hear it’s like portland only cooler.
thanks
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//////////Reply by randy
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 8:41 am
@getoutofportland,
I love how people comment on here like they aren’t hipsters, and so therefore tell ‘hipsters’ to goooooo away.
if you go on this site. you are a hipster. loser.
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i lived in pdx for half a year but i had to move back to cali because it wasnt sunny enough for my ray-ban wayfarers
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its true, portland > everything/where/one else.
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the boys are really passive-aggressive and socially awkward here. i’ve met very few who have ever had their own driver’s license. sux for when u want them to take u on a date to chili’s :(
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I just left Portland, my home and where I grew up, for college in LA and Oh my god I miss it so. I think Portland is great and think you can make it what you want. Of course some of the things here are true, but some of them are biased or just wrong. so if you want to know go check it out yourself. But I LOVE it and miss it and know I will probably live there now that I have left it just once.
And also, Erik Star (and many other lovelies in those vids) IS AMAZING. Don’t hate.
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//////////Reply by !
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
@lina,
GOOD STAY IN LA AND DIE THERE. U R NOT WANTED.
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portland is becoming more and more fake. don’t move here, youll be disappointed. it’s hard to be unique if you’re a hipster. keep it real, stay in flagstaff.
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Anyone else obsessed with the highly tuggable dancing blonde in the green shirt? i’d move to portland for her.
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lawl at those kids dancing. lawl at the old woman next to the lawling two drummers.
lawl at yall.
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//////////Reply by ummmm
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
@qshi, that old woman is one of starfuckers mom
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Crls, this is s0 weird but my friend just told me there is an [OFFICIAL] p0rtland v.2.0. it’s on the east coast!!! n apparently it’s filled with lobsters and sk8 punks. sounds s0 quirky/seafoody/just waiting to be ALTified [via gentrification].
is p0rtland ME the p0rtland OR of 2k9//the FUTURE?
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Portland has the ugliest alt gheys/fggts anywhere. As an alt ghey myself, I find much discomfort in knowing that I’ll never get to fuck the mega tuggable alt ghey of my dreams in Portland. Shoulda moved to SF. H8 u PDX.
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this show was everything you wish you were… FUN!!!
thats all portland is trying to do is have fun.
most of us don’t have jobs, rely on food stamps, sleep in shitty houses with six other people, and ride bikes out of necessity. we need to make our own fun, cause in reality this town is boring most the time. and thats why we do shit like this, and throw an impromtu show in an empty parking lot with a generator and piss off the fancy thai place next door. and thats why we have such a thriving music scene too, cause everyone is bored, and playing music is FUN, or at least should be…
so DON’T move to portland if you’re a stupid jaded hater…
which most of you seem to be…
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//////////Reply by ////////////////////
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
@why so much hate…, h8 u
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//////////Reply by A-non
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
@why so much hate…,
Meet me at ‘Tiny’s’ on 12th…I’ll kill you by the pinball machine.
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Seattle is for DCFC loving fggts. Portland has a shitty job market but it is wai better than Seattle. There r plenty of bros and broads and getting laid is easy. But the coke is methy.
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everyone knowz Portland is a poor man’s Billyburg.
true story ya’ll
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Shoot, I only recognize 1.5 people in that video (.5 for face recognition without a name). Makes me feel like I don’t even live here anymore. Maybe y’all should move here so we can be friends.
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When you are in downtown Portland, ride your fixed gear to NW 3rd near Burnside, there is a little bar there called ‘The Tube’. While you are there order a beer called ‘Pabst Blue Ribbon’, it is to die for.
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//////////Reply by PDXz0r
//////////Posted December 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
@MasonMiles,
‘Downtown’ is so 2k7. Although I heard ‘Rock Bottom’ also has killer brew.
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//////////Reply by MasonMiles
//////////Posted December 11th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
@PDXz0r,
oh yea. SE is where all the cool people hang out. or do you go to the new NE. ALberta?? Mississippi??
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//////////Reply by PDXz0r
//////////Posted December 11th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
@MasonMiles, I prefer SE Powell and 82nd. ‘They’ haven’t reached it there yet. Although there is a Value Village nearby…
//////////Reply by Yaaa
//////////Posted December 11th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
@PDXz0r,
mang fuckin killer brew!
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wow, trolling the internet and discovered this shit. you people are the ones I get to laugh at as I live my life in this fantastic city. If you read this site, don’t move to portland, my gut hurts too much.
Thanks for the giggles you idiots.
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Portland is awesome, anyone who says it ain’t so, just wants to be an asshole to ” protect ” the fucking radical city it is. I was born, and raised, and encourage people to move here, why not ? The only assholes I know are not from here, so if your nice, you will be welcomed with open arms. If you think Starfucker is good on video, wait till you see the real thing LIVE…it will blow your mind !!!!
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Don’t you hipster pieces of shit move here and ruin for us. SRSLY.
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boise is the new it.
seriously, they got it going on over there…
fuck portland, fuck williamsburg, move to boise!!!
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I visited Portland last year during the summer. There were gorgeous roses everywhere. I was fucking broke bcuz i couldnt find a job besides figure model @ a drawing studio. My roomie was a post-rock drummer. I slept on a olive drab couch and drank lots of red wine. I barely ate anything. I met a hippie on the street named frisbee who gave me trees and waved a crystal around my head chakra. Met a keut boy on a fixie and we danced to Girl talk. Had to leave bcuz 98% of alt jobs were taken and I didn’t want to b a stripper.
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//////////Reply by ex-portland
//////////Posted June 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@…, i actually know someone with the exact same story.
Don’t move to portland. Its an awesome city, but there are NO jobs. Sure its cheap, but its impossible to even find part time work as a waitress/busser/barista. Condos, boutiques, the NYT frugal traveler writing about how to do a “frugal portland”– portland has become like any other gentrified, white American city.
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I think you’ll get cold.
The so called freedom there is really kind of oppressive in it’s heavy handed conformity to being different.
They need a few good Chili’s and some people that actually have jobs to pay taxes.
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dye hippiez and punkz
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Portland sucks.
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Only squares call themselves hipsters.
“Y’all” seem more like hillbillies, anyway.
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Portland is alright for like 6 months.. Then it gets old so fast… But its really cheap to live and zone out of the cultish world for a bit.
Its like Seattle if you have been there.. but people will make eye contact with you in Portland.. So I dunno if that is a plus or a negative in your book.
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http://www.topix.com/forum/portland/TCMSQGPN3K5JBU46B/p6
Real deal
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I was just wondering what -Black people meant? There are Black people all over the world. Do you mean Africans (including Egyptians), African-Americans, Caribbeans, Aborigine, East Indian, Cubans, Colombian’s, Haitian’s, Panamanians, Brazilians….what? I’m curious because I’m from the UK and plan on visiting Portland for a convention soon. That’s sad that Portland has none of those Ethnic groups because they are wonderful people to get to know. I know the U.S. has a lot of prejudice, and that’s sad, but surely there are some Black people there. If not, I feel sorry for you. Surely you don’t call everyone with dark skin a Black person. That would be ignorant. I know Jews but they don’t want to be referred to as White people because they are not, they are Jews. Why does the USA have to label people in this way? Seems like you have not come far after all.
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@ OP
no
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strfkr was kewl when you culd tell the dude at the artistery that u dont have a job = dont have moneiz = hang out for freez doVVnstairs and soak the noise vibes
now you have to pay lots $$$ to go to backspace to listen to the shit pop//easylistening versions of joshs stuff
*make that the wonder ballroom
**and pyramiddd
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