This is a post about Jews & their place in alternative culture.
[Photo by cobrasnake]
Have u ever met an altJew? Do they deserve 2 b a relevant alt minority demographic? I don’t think they are as significant as Mexicalts, Blipsters, or AZNs. Or can we just lump them in with Whipsters? Are all Jews ‘privileged’ and therefore unable to reach authentic alternative status? Who are the most relevant Jews in the alternative community? Do u have any friends who are Jewish?
Do u have any altJew role models?
Max Fisher [via Jason Schwartzman]?
Chromeo Bro and A-trak?
Mark “The Cobra Guy” Hunter?
Or Natalie “From the Garden States of America” Portman?
Not sure how I feel about altJews. Need yall 2 comment so that I can ’steal an opinion’ from yall.
Are Jews the alt-est group of peoples on the planet?
Are Jews inherently alt/alt-er than all of us?
2k9: Finding out out that there are more ppl on this Earth than just whites, blacks, yellows, and browns–there are subgroups. (i have a G.E.D.–graduated early to get to design school).
Do yall think DJ AM is srsly ‘the chosen 1′?
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70 Comments
i think ur missing the more important question: which kippah best represents ur personal brand?
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//////////Reply by Super Awesome Guy
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:17 am
An alt jew would be an atheist.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
@Nathan, lqtm
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Scarlett Johansson!
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
@roofcano, srsly?
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//////////Reply by roofcano
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
@SilverTell,
haha I have no idea. Someone told me that a few days ago. Shes half Polish so it’s possible I guess. I just wanted first comment but Nathan beat me to the punch.
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crls! altJews are the “chosen ones”, g-d (-_-) made us so ridiculously kewl/alt. woody allen= the first altJew
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted May 24th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
@nurry,
wouldnt karl marx be the first altJew?
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//////////Reply by xavier
//////////Posted May 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
@andrew, you just blew my mind… so true, never thought about that
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//////////Reply by kitty
//////////Posted July 16th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
@nurry, alt’Brews > altBros
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alt jews… big in 5k769?
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
@kanye, lol
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
@kanye,
<3 how kanye proved he was human after all with a robo voice. very pomo, ye.
wish i was more conceptual
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lou reed was jewish. jews are basically the alt-ist demographic ever.
how do yall feel about the palestine border conflict?
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
@Nathan,
Zillions of people in the media are Jewish. Hell, they own mainstream media. I could name a zillion at the drop of a hat especially since they claim every single person that has even a hint of Jewish blood
For instance they claim Scarlett Johansen……right, she’s about as Jewish as Sammy Davis Jr. was.
Andrea Mitchell, that’s more authentic.
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//////////Reply by Nathan
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:06 am
@AltCauc, sounds like some1 is a lil bit jealous :). beck is jewish, too (via blood.)
honestly, there’s bias and atrocities on both sides…admitting that is a lot more politically progressive than liking palestinians just because they’re considered the “underdog”.
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:31 am
@Nathan,
Nathan:
Beck never showers, and his music has sucked since his first album.
Nothing against Jews, they’re great people and good for the economy. I side with them, always except when they talk as stupidly as fucking Babs Streisand. They just aren’t that “Alt” or cool. Funny and talented for sure. I like them. Still, glad to be a Gentile with a big Cock!
//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:35 am
@Nathan,
Nathan, trust me, I’d never, ever side with Terrorists over Jewish people or anyone else. Come on, I know what’s up.
//////////Reply by Nathan
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:28 am
@altCauc, beck showers with a bucket and he is the voice of this generation.
the 2nd part wasn’t intended for you.
//////////Reply by Me
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 3:48 am
@Nathan, lol worst place to ask this. nothing against Jews in general, my probs is with the Israeli government. I’m with the Palestinians.
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:23 am
@Me,
I just heard that Beck is not becoming a Scientologist. No shitting. Whatever, it’s still a thousand years away from the backward thinking of Islam.
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Ummmm Woody Allen CRLS???
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CRLS is the most AltJew out there
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jews are the altest people on the planet. mnstrmrs/entry levelers wont be precision bombing UN schools for at least another 2.5 yrs
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believing every word of the mainstream media is not alt at all…
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bobby z. was a jew then he changed his name to “dylan” You could also make a post about how people with aspergers are very alt.
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Besides being bad at sports, there isn’t much that makes Jews “alt.” Most non Hasidic Jews live on long Island and join fraternities/sororities.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
@HipToDeath, lol
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This is completely irrelevant, but I just wanted to say that Stranger Than Fiction is an amazing movie and probably the most underrated of 2008.
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//////////Reply by Eustace
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
@HipToDeath,
2006 idiot
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//////////Reply by HipToDeath
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:44 am
@Eustace, Shit, no need to be so harsh. I didn’t realize it was already two years old. I swear I remember seeing subway ads for it just a few months ago. Regardless of when it was released, it’s an awesome movie that’s underrated.
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//////////Reply by Eustace
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@HipToDeath, Your right im sry :(
//////////Reply by HipToDeath
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
@HipToDeath,
Saright.
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
@HipToDeath, making cultural mistakes is Time to Pretend you’re impulsively ironic. watch…
Paper Planes best song of 2k8!!! yall
@SilverTell
released on Kala in 2k7, fn ntry lvlr
@altbag
irony 4eae
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//////////Reply by we all kunt be alt
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 1:05 am
@SilverTell, there’s a better song from 2k8 but i won’t say what it is to keep your mangy mnstrm hands off it but just so i can say i told you so later on if you ever eventually catch on the initials of the album it’s on are KC
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I fucking <3 you for making a post about alt jews…you answered my prayers…lol
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
@Sarah E.F.,
Sarah K.S. and her Great Schelp did it first. CRLS’s just being pomo and recycling her meme.
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still waiting for the tuggable alt jews post :-\
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//////////Reply by anonymissu
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:56 am
@kanye, u obv missed natports. she wins the most tuggable jew of all times award.
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i think being an ALT jew is about bombing the Gaza strip/Palestine/ Arabs….
i believe George Bush is the BIGGEST jew…just my opinion cuz…
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
@pete,
Bomb the Pali Terrorists! Bomb them until they can’t fire any more rockets.
You’d bomb them too if the stoneage terrorists were indiscriminately shooting bombs at your schools.
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//////////Reply by Me
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 3:50 am
rockets =/= bombs. rockets have killed 5 people in 8 years. bombs killed 300+ in 2 days.
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//////////Reply by Rora
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 4:42 am
@pete, actually that is totes mainstream within jdsm
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//////////Reply by roofcano
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@pete, saying “Bush is the BIGGEST JEW” is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not even jewish but go fuck yourself you biggot shit.
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carles blog abt alt colleges (other than art school + community colleges there r only like 5)
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“Are all Jews ‘privileged’ and therefore unable to reach authentic alternative status? ”
I think this one pretty much nailed it. The ones I’ve met are a kind of boring. They have their own culture and it’s amazing how little they’ll travel out of their world or comfort zone. I have a boss that’s Jewish and had some people work for me that were Jewish.
Good people, just not all that Alt or Hip.
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i am a proud altjewess!
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
@anonymous,
Cool, everyone should be proud of who they are……unless it makes you into an elitist.
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schmAltz are taking over
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@lovem, lqtm
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japalt?
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//////////Reply by Mr. Giggles
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 3:52 am
@x, you can’t be a J.A.P and Alt. that doesn’t make sense
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@x, lol
@Mr. Giggles
Totally makes sense. Formerly a J.A.P., the japalt is the product of the J.A.P. searching for authenticity. She rebels against Judaism, her McMansion, and wearing pink by flaunting her keffiyeh (a shatnez sin), dali lama tatt, and her faux poverty (she keeps her trust fund on the dl.) Japalts are all over Billyburg and Manhatty.
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big in 2k9?
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@AltCauc
ur a doosh
unless u r an ‘altracist’
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
@beard,
I’m all that you say and more. Be very scared that anyone has an opinion. Very very scared. Go hide under you bed and change your wet panties.
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//////////Reply by altasaurus
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
@AltCauc u r a fggt
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:15 am
@altasaurus,
I think AltaSaurus is an AltMuzzie, but he can’t shake is killing prejudices.
//////////Reply by saurus
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:15 am
@altasaurus whoever you are you totally stole ’saurus’ from me and it’s mine so you have to give it back, k?
This is exactly how alt becomes mnstrm. Soon everyone will be a saurus, thus making my internet handle dated and less relevant. UGH. H8 y’all.
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
@altasaurus, i agree, altcauc you’re a cock
find another blog
go away
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@altasaurus, <3 yr name, sry saurus
prediction “saurus” suffix mnstrm in 2k9? What’dya think yall? true? so true? or already true?
@Nathan, lol
//////////Reply by *****
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
@AltCauc,
I like you
altasaurus seems like the fggt tbh
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//////////Reply by altasaurus
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:50 am
See @AltCauc, you already found another fggt to suck you off
//////////Reply by Nathan
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:33 am
@altsaurus, YEAH don’t steal, you douchebaggosaurus.
So alt and jewish it’s blinding. Y’all need to pull out your shutter shades when i’m in your presence.
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Let’s not forget Arab Parrot, who realized altjews have no street cred and pretended to be an A-rab instead
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I’m AZN and a Joo, yall.
so confused bout my alt stat.
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//////////Reply by jaybo
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
@Shipoopi,
LOLcano
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@Shipoopi, thank u
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don’t understand old school faith crls
hoping people will think for themselves in 2k9
chromeo guy is a moron, good thing he’s fucking attractive
everyone thinks I look kinda jewish but i’m just multi-racial
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Crls:
Now there’s a super hidden alt subgroup, the anti-group. The Alt-Muzzie. Oh, that’s probably not PC.
I do know a Muslim fellow that’s ghey and non-violent (as far as I can tell)…although he’s militantly Leftist and it’s annoying. Hmmmm, he might qualify.
Naw, we don’t even invite him to parties anymore b/c he’s such a drag.
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//////////Reply by jaybo
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:29 am
@AltCauc, if he dresses in drag that is WAY alt fer a Muslim
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:40 am
@jaybo,
I agree. He doesn’t. He might look better; except you can’t hide that freaking Pakistani nose with anything.
He’s from Canada, yall. They let them all in.
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OBVI CRLS HAS NEVER BEEN 2 LA! LOL! WHAT A TOOL.
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:45 am
@thATCHER,
Are you saying there are some Jewish people in LA?
Are you saying Jewish people tend to live in self selected ghettos?
Are you saying they are afraid of even traveling to anyplace that doesn’t have a certain percentage of Jewish people?
How many Jewish people have even been to Yellowstone? How many Black people? How many Alts?
I go anywhere, even places I shouldn’t.
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//////////Reply by THACHTER
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:58 am
@AltCauc,
im saying LA is full of altJEW.infact most of the alt youth in LA is jew. So 4 crls to question the possibility of the altJEW is rlly zany and LOL cuz its rlly zany and lulzy to have never met one of them b4 if u live in LA. amiright or what?
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//////////Reply by internt
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:59 am
@AltCauc, stop posting so much u just seem desperate and friendless
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is carles a jew?
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//////////Reply by lawlcatz
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 9:00 am
@26, no he’s catholic.
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every ‘alt’ i know is jew or ‘jew’
every jew or ‘jew’ i know is ‘alt’
h8 them all.
gold = mnstrm.
$$ = mnstrm.
suffering = mnstrm.
jesus = mnstrm.
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//////////Reply by Adam West
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:02 am
@anonymissu, dude Jesus was a jew but he isn’t there savoir so is that alt or mnstrm? I have Jew blood, but am not religous. Am I an Alt Jew? Should go to gaza and kill all those hamas people? Would that make me more or less alt? Should I embrace my half jew blood or keep going on with my own faith that I created, which is more Alt? Please Help! Keep the good post coming CRLS!
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//////////Reply by anonymissu
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
@Adam West, deep JC question. idk. is self-sacrifice alt? is dying 4 every1 in the world’s sins alt? is virgin birth alt? loincloth? resurrection? not fucking mary the prostitute?
i wud vote 4 u 2 embrace the halfsies. barry bams duz it n he is president of the world world/god. so…
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wach out for jooz, they own evrything, inclding amy appl, ilife/ipod/imac, strbkz, etc…
they have so much alt/indie/gradskool/subversiv cred b/c they have so much gold that they turn into so much education which leads to so much self-conscious reflection.
nvr 4get that self-conscious reflection is predicated on higher learning. ne1 w/o higher learning who aspires to altness is just faking b/c they can’t rlly talk the art/culture talk and they imitate other high-level alts to trick evry1. u can only trly dis(miss) education and adherence to traditional aesthetic value systemz after u lerned them from skool.
tru altness comes from self-conscious awareness of every action you make which any stranger may happen to see. dmb poor ppl rarely make it to this level of sophistication on their own…
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//////////Reply by we all kant be alt
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 2:40 am
@hello, Some writers in their manner and stance intentionally provoke challenge and criticism from their readers. Others just invite you to think. CRLS’Z hyperprose demands only that you grunt wide-eyed or bewildered assent. He yearns to have intellectual influence, but must fend off any serious analysis of his own writing, remaining free to leap from one bombastic assertion to the next, no matter how brazen. Your place is simply to buy his BLGGZ, adopt his jargon, and drop his name wherever possible
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//////////Reply by hello
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 8:02 am
@we all kant be alt,
watz hyperproze? did you learn it at art skool? when i drop crlz name after buying his blog, should i drop “hyperproze” too? is it web2.0/ilife/blog talk??
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@hello, <3 u
//////////Reply by we all kant be alt
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
@hello, Your place is simply to buy his BLGGZ, adopt his jargon, and drop his name wherever possible
//////////Reply by hello
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
@we all kant be alt, yr cmptr is broken. it already sed that. or is that “hyperproze” too?? Once I drop his jargon and adopt his name wherever possible, will ppp “grunt wide-eyed or bewildered assent”??? ill try it tomorrow in my life and hopefully achieve rlly intersting results…
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I was sure there would be a picture of Yoni Wolf
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//////////Reply by 99
//////////Posted January 14th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
@Anonymous, huh, why?
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jeez crls, the jews have been authentic since like 4k BC via YHWH, the p4k of the ancient semitic world who set them apart from the mnstrm polytheists
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the ‘joo question’ has been weighing in on everyone for a long time its good we are getting input from both sides of the spectrum.
clearly the jooz own all media, and are heavily influential in ‘LA’….but my area isn’t owned by jewz…around here they are mostly posers or just stay at home.
those in power can contribute
…but will never truly be alt.
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i’m a hot alt jewess y’all and i’m broke as hell
all my jew relatives are poor 2
it is like regular azns versus ~fortunate azns~
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 5:17 am
@jewz,
i totes agree with the above statement. broke as hell, jewgirl, and all the other jewz i know are similarly situationed.
jews are def alt! i’ve known it 4eva, it’s good to have some recognition tho.
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//////////Reply by Adam West
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:05 am
@anony, I’m looking for a jewess!!!! And I’m Poor! lol
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
@jewz, word! im broke as hell too! for “chanukah” i only get like 3 or 4 things, and one is always a calendar. :(
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jacques derrida, now theres an altJew. he was a french algerian sephardic jew. and a philospher. deconstruction, yall. i think talking about different alt subcultures in big cities is one thing, but what about being alt in nebraska or saskatchewan. ya, im from canada, you know the country where they let everyone in, AltCauc. not from saskatchewan tho, dont worry.
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//////////Reply by homelessdad
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:11 am
@althick, if authentic=Joni Mitchell, and Joni Mitchell=Saskatchewan, does authentic=Saskatchewan? does authentic=alt in Saskatchewan? (syllogism, yall)
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//////////Reply by fromtherealzone
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@homelessdad,
SaskALTchewan?
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//////////Reply by homelessdad
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
@fromtherealzone, srsly. which canadian province and/or territory best represents your personal brand?
altberta?
qbc? (<3 u, montreALT)
nunavut?
is ontario mainstream?
idk anything about altjews but i agree that there should be a post about the altest libArts schools.
Vassar, Oberlin, Pitzer, BARD?!?
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im just gonna be honest as a black guy and say this. altwhite people probably have the best mindset out of anyone in this country, they dont make some fucking ridiculous “connection” to their culture and become centric in their mindset.
fuck afrocentric blipsters, jews that think they’re better than everyone because theyve been oppressed for so many years. there is no such thing as black there is no white. we’re just people yall. fuck regressive culture bullshit, alt is the only tru mindset.
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:06 am
@anonymous, best fucking post ever!!!
Black people….i mean heavily tanned caucasian?? people are so smart sometimes!
Luv U!!
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//////////Reply by Adam West
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:09 am
@anonymous, Bravo! But its all in good fun my man. I hope no one on this site is serious, because than it would suck mozza balls!
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
@Adam West, its *matza* but i forgive you! <3
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//////////Reply by Adam West
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@anonymous, my fault!!! I’m a lousy half blood.
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
@anonymous, omg sounds like ur altcentric.
think ur trying 2 b like Stephen Colbert who doesn’t see color? r u colorblind?
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Bob Dylan invented alt in 1965.
Jews own alt.
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post more dradle slipz
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You are an ambitouos line stepper.
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im an underprivileged jew. am i the only one? wish i could benefit from my ethnicity.
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altJews big in year 0???
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http://www.dailymotion.com/related/x55th_un-chaton-sur-un-macbook-pro_animals/video/x4nnsc_health-triceratops_music
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@L, oh wow, health reads this. health tries so hard.
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//////////Reply by L
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@daffy, Health might read this. I don’t know. They used a macbook for every angle. Who needs cameras when you’ve got 10s of macbooks.
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i know an altjew.
his parents make a lot of money, but hate him and throw him out of the house a lot. he spends his money on booze and cigs. he has good taste. hes a chillbro, yo.
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this stuff has been said but ill make it clear…
there is no ‘altjew’
there are jews who happen to be alt…there are no altchrists or altmuslims are there, they are just altbros like the rest
these ppl do not flaunt their religion,esp that ch0sen ppl crap, they aren’t even religious, most are agnostic/atheist and have rebelled against the old time relig after theyre bar/bat mitzvah.
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//////////Reply by uh huh
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 2:13 am
@NWchisub, if a jew is an agnostic/atheist, then theyre not a jew, bc jew is not an ethnicity. + that chosen ppl crap was made up by them.
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I. fucking. love. you. ALTJEWS! Yes, they exist. They flourish in the alt community. Their jew fros are an important part of indie culture.
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Ahem – AM is not a hipster. AM = douchebag. In addendum to the bylaws of hipsterism, Aoki is richboy sellout – hanging with him no longer makes you cool.
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smart bombing schools = alt?
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aww i dated a jew once. he wasn’t an alt jew he was a fucking rich jew. it didn’t work out after he said i was a dirty gentile and he was “chosen.”
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@ CARLES
Carles, starting all these post about what race is most “authentic” is just starting more racism.
NOT VERY AUTHENTIC CARLS.
HRO should be a place for love.
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//////////Reply by Tim Harrington
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
@YO CARLES!,
Carles is trying to tear appart the alt community.
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//////////Reply by we all kant be alt
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
@Tim Harrington, tearing apart/casually deconstructing what’s he diff?
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cmmnts
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this altjew thing already has a name- they’re called Heebsters. It’s too ironic to be postmdrn. It must be post-post-mdrn. They all take the L train, you’ll see them.
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also, maybe they’re just result of hipsters/Jews spawn. That’s what happens when hipsters invade the Lower East Side and Williamsburg.
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like half the people in good indie bands are jewish. altjews are everywhere in rock…lou reed, dylan, yo la tengo
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personally i think altjews are genetically modified 4 alt status b/c of their brood dark hair and their unique noses which make them different from the regular alts. ok
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cmmnt!!!cmmnt!!!cmmmnnt!!!
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<3 altjews.
always the guys still cracking funny jokes even after too many pbr’s. never too smooth though. so while there are altjews, I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual jewish hipster. joopster?
H8 ALT JAPS. maybe H8’s a lil strong…but…uuuugggghhh.
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yeah altjews are just born alt i think. alter than all, they dont seem to need to try. 2k9 is definitely year of the altjew. that or year of the altinlaw
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//////////Reply by d
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 12:08 am
@emanster, year of the altjew fo sho
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CRLS i know of a couple groups you should blog about in order to maintain authenticity but i want to keepthem to myself because i feel like once they show up here i won’t be able to listen to them anymore without __________
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crls, i dare you to find some AltIndians (not native americans, but from india)
i dunno if they exist
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//////////Reply by uh huh
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 2:08 am
@xwasldd, I have a friend who is. there’s all types of alt
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i have a jew bf. he likes to make fun of alts but he secretly is a wannabealt. but it doesn’t matter bc i am a alt-shiksa which means i’ll never be a chosen bitch. so the moral of the story is spend their money, drink from their bottles, but you’ll never be a vip/jew/chosenwifey.
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all these altjews are in the 1 percentile. also, isn’t, nat more of an altlew according to devendra?
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alt jew is an oxymoron… u cant be both
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//////////Reply by josé speaks:
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 1:36 am
@studio231,
Must b disagreeing with u.
I had a gf once, she was a Jewbeliever, nd a total altGirl.
Got me hooked on M83 in 2k4.
Published her own mp3Blog from 2k4-2k7.
Then she got lazy nd stopped posting.
But we didnt date anymore so it was cool.
Always secretly wanted her mp3Blog 2 fail.
She doesnt know about my blog.
I’ll nevr tell her.
But the point is, she was alt. Nd a Jew.
Nd thus, she was an AltJew.
Nd thus, I disagree with u sonnyboy.
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//////////Reply by studio231
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 2:29 am
@josé speaks:, i stand corrected m83 sealed the deal
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//////////Reply by jose speaks:
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 2:41 am
@studio231, Love when we can agree.
Just wanna coexist with u/me/evry1.
BTW 4 the rcrd, love Meet Ur Replacement. Heard it yesterday nd planned on blogging about it in the next few days.
Like this track almost as much as I like ur blogbanner.
im really glad im nonreligious. I feel bad that Jews cant even separate their religion from their ethnicity.
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DOCTOR DOCTOR GIVE ME THE NEWS, I GOT A BAD CASE OF KILLING JEWS
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 8:13 am
@the anonzz, it doesnt work man…….trust me…..it doesnt work. Their chosen Godly blood all over your hands….It’s…..it’s so beautiful. It’s like unicorn blood, but more, Godly.
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altjoos exists.
i am one.
money+nose+disdain for relig/fam+ joofro=ulimate alt.
sry
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altJews like Jerri Steinfeld and Adam n Eve Sandler and Johnny Mnemonic
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what would one call a blipster/altjew like myself?
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 12th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@marlee sofia,
It really depends on where you wan to take your personal brand.
altblew – this would be for the ntry lvl alt who is moving from emo to depressing hipster like The National or José González
blewck – like bloke but worse
blewpster – makes you sound like a goofy hipster who listens to Hot Chip, Metronomy, Max Tundra
bloopster – goofier spelling of blewspter who listens to *sigh* Dan Deacon and gets too excited about Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
blajipster – kinda makes you sound like a mutilated gypsy. Also makes you sound like a hypebeast who listens to Theophilus London, Kid Cudi, Wales, Charles Hamilton
blajipsta – a sassier version of blajipster who listens to conceptual hip hop like Bad Brilliance
bloojoo – name of a keut AZN
jackbalt – terrible
jaltbloo – connotes alternative jetsetting [via JetBlue]
African + Jew
Affroo – keut
Affrooloo – keut and zany
Afrikaan + Jew
JAH-free-KAAN – loud
African + Hebrew + Jew
Afrewbrew
Afroobrew
Afribrew
Afrobrew
I wish I was a blipster/altjew. But I got to be true to myself [via Ziggy.] If I was a blipster/altjew though, I would call myself a “Brewlu” (= altBRo + heBREW + Afrika Bambaataa’s universal zuLU nation) as a girl “jooloo” (altjoo + zulu) would be prettier.
What do u think?
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weak post, CRLS
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