[Photo by The Cobrasnake]
When I grow up into the alt that I will one day be, I want to have a cut of hair in the shape of a spacious mixing bowl, with a well-defined plane of man bangs. (Sorry yall–still just trying 2 trendhunt a lot in 2k9. Not sure if I’m going to convert my progressive 1999 Caesar cut into a bowl cut just yet).
This bro is me.
This browl cut is me.
The bowl on my head is my hair.
These are my man bangs–they are functional
/// keeping the bowl out of my eyes.
/// and my metaphorical ‘head’ held ‘high.’
XX BONUS PHOTOGRAPHER BRO XX
I am a photographer bro
in a sea of alts
Searching for
meaningful images
to capture 4evr
While I don’t believe in G-d
or an afterlife
I kind of believe in souls
because I capture something when I take pictures
Learned how to hack the web
and build a site
that is web 1.0
making it more authentic than web 2.0 bullshit
These are my dreams
to one day become a relevant photographer
for magazines
and blogs
and nightlife
and life
and pix of my bffs
with a valuable site
that people fly me to ‘cover’
In 10 years, you will look back on my website
and it will be kind of like a relevant cultural museum
kinda like
the graveyard that is myspace
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
24 Comments
Headbands are so 2k8.5.
Decorative pashminas will be big in 2k9.125
Reply
//////////Reply by alt-oid
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
@Herpesterrunnoff,
But weren’t pashminas so 2k7.2?
Reply
//////////Reply by PYTITZ
//////////Posted January 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@alt-oid, my mom has spent all christmas talking about pasminas. what does that mean?i didnt even know about them before. Are they like big palestinian scarfs?
Reply
//////////Reply by alt-oid
//////////Posted January 10th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@PYTITZ,
Pashmina is a type of silk. It’s Indian, not palestinian. They were big here in Toronto last winter.
myspace = digital detroit
Reply
//////////Reply by REMBRANDT FON RIGN
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
@pooponyoursoul, LOLS 4 DAYS, POYS
Reply
//////////Reply by neednotapply
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
@pooponyoursoul, thank you
Reply
//////////Reply by schizo
//////////Posted January 12th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
@pooponyoursoul, let’s hope they fail economically as bad as detroit is
what will be the new social networking site of 2k9 yall?
Reply
First?
Thought the blondie in the first photo was that gossip chick. Not so alt, I know. =[
Reply
YR SUCH A FGGT CRLS. h8 U!
Reply
//////////Reply by hagrid
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@YR A FG,
yeah we’re all FGGTs,
FGGT big in 2k9?
Reply
//////////Reply by Boosh
//////////Posted January 10th, 2009 at 5:01 am
@hagrid, pffft, why not. go for it
Reply
is there srsly a domino’s pizza ad on HRO
Reply
//////////Reply by neednotapply
//////////Posted January 9th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
@jz, duh, grl…part of the pizza alt nvr dies
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 3:18 am
@jz, I’m sure it’s their purely for ironic purposes… at least that’s what carles wants you to think.
Reply
I’m all about the interesting haircuts… but but, this is just awful.
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 3:19 am
@Devin Ritchie, And is was also awful in the early 2k’s when everyone’s little brother thought they were cool.
Reply
Camera brow tucking his upper lip into his gums?
lip tucking big in 2k9.0?
Girl on left still going as Courtney Love for Halloween [via everyday]? Girl on right needs bigger mouth: current model not big enough to hold all her lil alt smilez//teeth
Like AnimCo…never really used to drink sparks [via thinking about it while just getting vodka to pour in strange moufs], but I miss it after yall.
Reply
please. make it stop. just… please… 2k9 can be whatever it is but please leave it alone. :[[[
Reply
I hope u dont get a browlcut, carless. I like to imagine ur a rly attractive blogger, plz dont ruin it 4 me.
Reply
did ne1 else see the superhighway thingg??!?!?!?!??!1?!!!1
lol i mite be abit far behind
Reply
“the graveyard that is myspace”
that was beautiful.
Reply
i had a bowl cut when i was a little kid…
Reply
Tiny Tim needs a haircut. Holla back about the pashminas though. That’s the new “in.”
Reply
wow.
i’m so wet from your poem
it’s like you took an advanced writer’s craft course at devry before it was everest institute and you graduated at the top of your class
<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 3:21 am
@mordecai, I saw the pic and I instantly thought “oh PLEASE write about camera bro…” great post.
Reply
penis haircut is penis-like
Reply
Love the bowl kut, had one when i was 5.
Reply
he looks like a retarded mushroom cunt-head.
the girls are just as bad, they look munted, with their big disgusting protruding wide jawed grins, yuck yuck yuck!
Reply
OMG crls what teh fuck is this american apy ad to the right with the hairy ugly plain fced guy gaying up in the shower?!
Reply
//////////Reply by bdfbadga
//////////Posted January 10th, 2009 at 10:37 am
@muckymouse
wtf is with that one thats just a naked fucking girl, sleazy fuckheads
Reply
//////////Reply by muckymouse
//////////Posted January 10th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@bdfbadga, i have no problem with nakedness, guys or ladies, it’s taht the guy looks like a retarded mook, especially in the frame where he’s pressing his open mouth against the transparent pink fabric like he’s sucking an invisible dick. The naked girl is doing no such things.
Reply
big in 2k9: never taking your amappy off, even in shower
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 3:22 am
@beard, Isn’t that some mormon thing….
Reply
what a meaningful bro. he probably <3s expressing himself thru photos
Reply
Fawk you. I have bowl cut bangs and I pull them off because I am a mod, not a dumb modern 21 century “hipster” go listen to your noise rock, you avant-garde little artist you, while drinking your PBR!
Reply
As a hairdresser i just want to everyone to say NO to the browl cut
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 3:24 am
@Steve, You could take a stand and just not do them.
Reply
//////////Reply by Steve
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
@anony, never do them, they get kicked out of my chair
Reply
this post was like poetry but i enjoyed reading it.
Reply
Ultimate LOLZ…I met the browl cut bro tonight!
Reply