In 2k8, I was able to make tons of mediocre posts heavily relying on the strength of the gimmick of Child Predator glasses. I’m not so sure if 2k9 will be easy. We are slowly but surely reliving the product lifespan of shuttershades. s00 popular at the beginning, but then got rlllly inauthentic.
[photo by click/clash]
I think what we’re slowly realizing is that there’s more to a Child Predator aesthetic than just glasses. A Child Predator is a direct threat to society, and looking like a child predator is less of a ‘fashion choice’ and more of a lifestyle choice. A ChildPred can strike at any time without warning. There is a certain level of free-spiritedness and ‘I might kill U’ zaniness that we can see in the eyes of Authentic Child Preds.
Putting on the lenses of a child pred does not enable u 2 c the world that they see.
This entry-level alt is indicative of the increasing inauthenticity rates among people who have branded themselves’ with child pred glasses.
[via lookbook]
As soon as things reach the kids/entry-levelers, the personal brand image has been tarnished, rendering the look to be inauthentic for the next 7-10 years.
Maybe I am all wrong. Maybe the next wave of child predators will wear zany suspenders & kute white shoes to ‘appeal 2 young kids.’
I will miss u Child Predator glasses.
(miss u shuttershades)
/// help
Which glasses will be ‘next’?
Have yall heard of Wayfarers?
What is the future of the Modern Child Predator (Glasses)?
Will Child Predators be forced to Update their gimmick in order to appeal to modern kids?
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
24 Comments
first
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
@buaah, fuck you. you should be strangled with your mouse and beaten to death with your keyboard.
Reply
Well, Wayfarers are so last year.
Reply
//////////Reply by Super Awesome Guy
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Finger Glasses are 2k9!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3011/2780882119_0598c85ef4.jpg?v=0
Reply
my personal sunglasses/face accesory brand revolves around aviators. are they hip/still hip/going to be hip? if they aren’t cool and I wear them with enough “confidence” will that make them cool because they’re not cool (like bingo)?
Reply
//////////Reply by pants
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
@geoff, insecurity makes aviators cool. pride will make you look smug. u may hav to upgrade?
Reply
wayfarers are so 50 years ago or whatevs
oh did anyone see milk? the cute little queer with a white-fro was rocking some 70s child preds
Reply
//////////Reply by pants
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
@schizo, yes, yeah, and yes
Reply
the future is john lennon glasses with oversized lenses
Reply
//////////Reply by ruthie
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@pascal, Those are also called Windsor glasses. aka Jo Stalin, Groucho Marx, and Ernie Hemingway glasses. I agree, though (’bout the future).
Reply
//////////Reply by anonymissu
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
@pascal, h8 lennon. sum1 should shoot dat bitch. stfu up about imagining stuff. u r not funny!!!!
Reply
i need some help w/ this term ‘authenticity.’ i thawt that being ‘authentic’ meant doing/saying/listenin 2/wearing what U want and what makes U hppy…
how can somethin lose ‘authenticity’ just because other ppl started incorporating it 2 their personal brand?
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
@what, I’ll skip the standard “you must be new here” and just say that HRO is just one long running inside joke and sometimes it’s not even that funny…. but the times when it is is what keeps people coming back.
Reply
H.R.G.’s. Horn Rimmed Glasses. Trust.
Reply
//////////Reply by moi
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
@Tea, i wear horn rims… how unfortunate for me.
Reply
I don’t understand why Carles has to write like a 12 year old girl on aim. His posts would be just as funny/unfunny if he spelled words out completely. Mocking somebody is much more satisfying when people think you’re being 100% serious.
Reply
//////////Reply by johnnytantan
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
@HipToDeath, stfu and gtfu
Reply
//////////Reply by HipToDeath
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
@johnnytantan, No you!
Reply
//////////Reply by HipToDeath
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
P.S. Did you mean gtfo and just hit u by accident/out of habit? Or do you just want me to stand up?
Reply
//////////Reply by pants
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
@HipToDeath, ha! and i disagree with ur first point.
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
@HipToDeath, We think it’s more fun to not know if it’s completely serious or not. Sometimes it’s so serious that it’s not serious. The experienced HRO reader knows how to read between the lines. I’m glad HRO doesn’t come with a FAQ. There are too many douchebags already.
Reply
//////////Reply by HipToDeath
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 10:06 am
@anony, It’s mockery, of course it’s not serious. When was the last time you “seriously” mocked somebody? If you were being serious, then it wouldn’t be mockery. My point is that it’s much more effective/satisfying when people do take you seriously. In which case, typing like a 12 year old girl is counter productive.
Reply
u r so sexy when ur vulnerable
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
@THENATTYBROS, It’s an interesting quality is it not? and we all try so hard not be vulnerable.
Reply
Boys Keep Swinging!
Reply
boooooorrrrrrrrrring…
Reply
HOLY SHIT!
First time someone I have met before is on HRO!
Dudes name is Pete Bradley.
Reply
//////////Reply by anoni
//////////Posted January 6th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
@anonymous,
his name is robert paulson
Reply
Have yall heard of Wayfarers? many lolz
Reply
These glasses are mainstream now. I don’t want to be all “I was wearing them before they were famous/ I was listening to that band before you” but when I tried to get a pair on eBay I couldn’t. Now there are hundreds of sellers.
I bought mine from a market in Barcelona. THAT’S how goddam alt I am.
Reply
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@Rene, I’ve been wearing them since before e-bay existed so there….ok not really…. speaking of which Barcelona just signed to Warner… or Universal or something. Does that mean they suck now or have they always sucked?
Reply
lolwut?! No rapist glasses link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcyNANK5cY
Reply
Martin Margiela has decided the future of sunglasses:
http://www.jakandjil.com/Fashion/MaisonMartinMargiela.SS08.html
Shuttershades – out
Being blind – So so in
Reply
//////////Reply by adamson
//////////Posted January 5th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@Double J, those glasses are so 2011.5
Reply
my up and coming indie band was on tour a few weeks ago and played a show where the venue guy was wearing child predator glasses and a flannel shirt. it made me think of hro.
Reply
i only trust a ped who can show his face aka with no glasses.
also – kids make fun of ppl with glasses. “4 eyes,” ne1? they won’t want to make sex with some1 who is a nerd. he needs to dress like dora the fucking explorer. that be alt/get him laid.
Reply
are all glasses with fake lenses ChildPred Glasses???
Reply
Justice should start wearing the Wayfarers with the pointy edges. They are the best.
haha :)
Reply
Have CP glasses gone mainstream cause of the buddy holly types??????? Are they still gonna be in after Y2K???????
Reply
help, i need some glasses (for sure)
so which ones should i buy?
Reply
soooo glad I never hopped on the eyewear bandwagon. never did shuttershades or lens-less frames or perv goggles.
just played it safe with my rayba-OH FUCK.
Reply
Late to the party, but those aren’t child predator glasses they’re wearing, they’re 80s “nerd glasses” like you’d see in a documentary about accountants or Wall Street number crunchers. They’re also dressed like nerds of that era. It works.
You have no idea what you’re talking about, do you? I bet HRO HEADQUARTERS is like a cabin in Alaska.
Reply