I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween.
I wish my parents had an aggregate income of over $250K/year.
I wish I could express myself around my parents.
I wish I had a swarm of subscribers who I could shout out.
I wish my parents could afford braces 4 me.
I wish my parents bought me an iPhone/game Gear/iPod Shuffle.
I wish I had a spacious luxury SUV with a leather interior.
I wish I had wifi all over the world/domestic United States.
I wish my tweenhood went a lot differently.
I wish they had Macbooks when I was a tween. If I could have expressed myself with modern tools of technology, I would be an entirely different person today.
The world is 1 year older. And I want to know ‘WHY?’
Why did I become alt?
Is ‘alt’ a choice, or was I born with ‘alt’ inside of me? (kinda like homosexuals/fggts/gheys).
Are these things that I did not have as a tween the reason why I needed to construct a new value system based upon strict post-consumerist ideals?
Are ‘alts’ who are rebelling against their privileged life ever going to find the authenticity that they are seeking?
Would ‘entry level alts’ and ‘Mexicalts’ exist without the concept of credit?
I want to know why.
I want to know why there weren’t Macbooks when I was a tween.
I want to know what I would have been if my tweenhood had gone differently.
//They // only // want // u // when // ur // seventween. ///
When ur // thirty-one // ur // not // keut.
42 Comments
first yall. thanks for the memories.
[Reply]
mainstream tweenz listen to benny g and the postal service?
[Reply]
Revenge of Droopy Eyes; The Saga!?
eek!
I bet these new tweens are going to start shooting some pseudo documentaries about their alt/meaningful/keut/artsy life for Sundance.
[Reply]
some are born alt, some achieve alt, some have alt thrust upon them
[Reply]
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@bonez, ugh, new facebook fav quote
[Reply]
u kno, I would classify anyone with time in their hands to research that kind of ‘material’ as a child pred.
way 2 go Crls!
flaunt those glasses!
[Reply]
hey r u that guy from the tweenagers
[Reply]
BNRZ 4 TWNZ 2K9
[Reply]
I hope they notice to put their seat belts, stop jumping around, and sit down, before their father gets into a car accident and they fly out the window and ruin their expensive leather interior car.
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Francis
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 6:24 am
@techno-rumblr,
fo sho, and you know how hard it is to get blood stains off leather, and the smell! ugh… total bad trip
[Reply]
The Idiot Box and Twin Peaks was all I needed when I was a “tween.” Forget the Mac.
[Reply]
I hope 12 year old my sister isn’t doing shit like this with her Macbook.
[Reply]
my 12 year old sister*
[Reply]
ladytron right! it’s LADYTRON YOUR TOTES REFFIN’ LADDIE_TRONE
[Reply]
Why would you want a spacious SUV? Yuck. So much gas burning. Terrible. I’ll watch the clip of the tweens, but I don’t have to to already realize it’s really going to be retarded.
http://www.hipsterwave.com/thom-yorke-the-eraser-a-remix-a-collaboration-and-in-rainbows/
Thom Yorke is definitely not retarded. Meow.
[Reply]
//////////Reply by thATCHER
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@Jessica,
yeah i totz can digg what u r saying. Thom Yorke has an invigorating personal brand that just makes u think: wow brah, that dude is authentic. But the tweens don’t have rlly have the capital 2 be authentic. they don’t evn have a production company. They just have a little mac book and some spare time to express themselves so how could the possibly cr8 an authentic personal brand that rivals thommy yorkeys?
nvrtheless, the tweeny alts do have a fresh authenticity that thommy doesnt have. They r real. they r now. they haven’t been making the same product for the last 100 blog year.s and i think thomr could learn from that.
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@thATCHER, heh. Tweens were disgusting in that clip. You write as if you’re like their friend.
Thom yorke has adjusted his product and sound with the times for sure.
Thom yorke wakes up and puts his pants on every day just like the rest of us. The only difference is, once his pants are on, he makes platinum records. =’)
[Reply]
//////////Reply by gonacommitHarryCaray
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 6:25 pm
@Jessica, just like Miley Cyrus
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
@thATCHER, Who?
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Hot N' BODY'D
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
@Jessica, you know who…
disney tween with the funny mouth and raspy voice like she smokes unfiltered newport longs.
not the hot azn disney tween that lives with two lil white boys.
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
@Hot N’BODY’D, no, I don’t follow that stuff. Tweens have no meaning to me. They should not be permitted to be popular because they are too immature and goofy. =’(
didn’t you already post this one?
[Reply]
//////////Reply by *****
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 2:40 am
@jjjjjjjjoe,
YES AND NO
(EVERYTHING IS A RE-POST Y’ALL)
[Reply]
luv watching tweenz while alt titties ads play on the sidebar
..
[Reply]
wunder if either of those kids will grow up to star in their very own aa ads
[Reply]
w00 r0ad trip wit our parents~
[Reply]
that girl on the right has more alt-titude in her then most of you lggrds
[Reply]
Did I just get hit in the face with a piece of wide plank pine?
Sure feels like it.
[Reply]
Hey everybody! I just figured out what a blipster is. I thought it meant those people who like old Nintendos and they reprogram them to make music with it b/c one time there was this picture with a blipster in it and he was wearing a Nintendo belt buckle or something but I GOT IT NOW! THanks
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Teh Anomususses
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 7:47 am
@YE, Same concept as wigger.
LULZ
Although it doesn’t help that some look like they could be electronicy like LeVar Burton from Star Trek.
Trust me, I was in the same boat for a while.
Original Blipstar!
http://blog.christopherpitzer.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/levar-burton.jpg
[Reply]
they look 18
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Teh Anomususses
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 7:49 am
@gonacommitHarryCaray, months old.
[Reply]
is it alt to chew gum with braces as a tween?
[Reply]
h8 tweens.
love the rubberbands.
miss / love the Ladytron shoutout.
They only want u when ur seventeen.
wish i was still in my peak…
wish i could’ve vlog’d in front of my parents…
“wish i was elsewhere” =’d my tween mindset
[Reply]
dad = auth alt, crls
[Reply]
I feel bad for droopy eye. Hopefully her cool dad makes enough bank so that she can do something about it.
[Reply]
crls, u already posted this wanky eyed bitch months ago..
[Reply]
i wish they had stickam when i was a tween
[Reply]
carles, do they know you subscribe to their youtube channel? by the way, would you be so kind as to lend me your child predator glasses? mine broke as i was being arrested for trying to lure tweens into my shitty toyota corolla (via free iphone apps).
[Reply]
is the mom wearing uggs? whut.
[Reply]
H8 Yall spoiled tweens. Palm Springs road trip? Friends named Reagan? White people iz crazy yall!
[Reply]
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@lyndon LaDouche, I’m with you 100%.
[Reply]
Crls I’m glad you didn’t get everything you wanted as a kid. You could have turned out to be a real bore or worse. Be happy you are who you are.
[Reply]
i love how smart hipster runoff is.
[Reply]
@gonnacommit, Who is that?
[Reply]
alt tweenz have their parents drive them to music festivals
(we’ll use coachella for example, since the highest concentration of alt tweenz live in small towns and suburbs surrounding, and or near the greater los angelas area. Think Seth Cohen.)
Since the cooldads/moms have nothing else to do but wait for the one novelty act they might enjoy to come on( Willie Nelson, Bela Fleck, Maddona…)
they sit in the beer tent and get drunk all day. When the festival ends, the Alttweenz get upset because their cooldads/moms are drunk and embarrasing them in front of the people that they one day wantto be.
Alttween 1: “I cant wait to turn eighteen so I can move to Brookyln/L.A./Mission district and pretend to be poor”
Alttween 2: “yeah i cant wait to tell people that I cant afford my Anthro Text because I had to pay rent, when in reality i could havedone oth if i hadnt of blown my money on that last miute trip to paris where i did coke for a week and a half”
Alttween 1: “Paris is so cool, but its way overdone”
Alttween 2: “yeah, maybe i’ll do coke in Berlin instead”
[Reply]
i’m only 17 and just watching these two little brats makes me feel old. fuck.
[Reply]
People become alts for the number of reasons. First of all most are of above average intelligence and such people are always subject to the tyrany of the majority and it’s torture having to suffer the mediocre. Most have been wronged by life in some way and have become bitter about not being able to obtain a lifestyle the were raised to expect. Thus comes an inability or even desire to conform to typical norms and search for “meaning” while rejecting the superficial notion of “success.” Despite the appearance of indifference most strive for equality and are unwilling to step on the backs of others to get where they want to be in life. This becomes a constant source of disillusionment because it’s directly against the values of capitalist society.
[Reply]
NO1 HAS COMMNTED ON THE FACT THAT DR00PY-EYEZ GOT NEW ALTBANGZ TO COVER THE DR00PY EYE SINCE THE LAST VID.
she was nt alt enough2 take the crtcsm. 2 bad i sortof liked looking@the eye and its crzyyyy mvments.
[Reply]
I doubt shes seen this. i added her on fbook maybe i should send it to her …
[Reply]
I’m so confused at why these girls have thousands of subscribers on YouTube. I couldn’t even watch the whole video because it was so boring.
[Reply]
FUCK me if i ever become that dad
[Reply]
Oh melt-eye. You poor soul you….
[Reply]
i just wish there were ‘older girls’ when i was a tween
[Reply]