ALL | ALT REPORT | CLASSIC
Liveblogging from the Inauguration

Hey yall...
blogging from my T-mobile g1 phone at Obammy's inauguration. srry about any spelling errors or weird ofrmatting. just try to make it through this post bc this post is a part of history.

n e ways. it's s000 fckng crowded, yall. I just saw some1 'take a crap' in the swimming pool thingy. Not enough port-o-potties. I'm starving. there aren't really enough options for my recently implemented vegan lifestyle.

n e ways, I recently started a startup clothing & apparel company. We make memorabilia for events + communities. Kinda like when ur pro sports team makes the playoffs, or when a President gets elected--that kind of stuff.

But yea... brought some lawn chairs and some 'brews' so that I could 'be totally fucked up' when Obama goes 'on stage.' I don't really know how to handle public events like this, so I usually just pretend that they are a music festival. This means that I just try to get 'blackout drunk' and attempt to 'make out' with as many broads as possible. Sux that it is so cold & girls can't 'show off their bods in form fitting outfits.' (might take acid later)

n e ways... I think I have a pretty good view. the arena has IMAX-quality sound. Gonna sound like an AnCo concert.

does n e 1 know where there are any 'blog house after parties' at the inaug? Are yall going to the HypeMachine+Pitchfork Ball starring Will.I.Am?

Hopefully there is a Buzzband Stimulus package in 2k10, or else all of the music magazines are 'gonna go under' kinda like Best Buy did just last week. Worried that I might lose my job at the Mac kiosk within a local Best Buy. FYI it's like 'working at a Mac Store' except without a lot of the pressure of actually being an Apple employee.

n e ways.. Barry is about to talk/rap, so I g2g.

_______________________
sent from my iPhone Nano

Comments

tao's picture

i'm comment on my g1 phone, i'm near the person who shit in the lake, look for the mcdonald's backpack, let's hang out bro, what do you look like

djstepdajeans's picture

This shit is a joooooooke; barry obama is a puppet (see: his cabinet.) 9/11 was an inside job, yall. Party politics does not exist. Don't be fuckin sheep! google zeitgeist movie

sometimesNJ's picture

@djstepdajeans, zeitgeist is like santa clause, the easter bunny, and all the wet dreams you've ever had combined. wake up, it's not real.

djstepdajeans's picture

@sometimesNJ,
you will die in a wal-mart

kyda69's picture

@djstepdajeans, bet you went to public school. Either that or you're from L.A.

i always win's picture

@kyda69, seriously, help me kyda69 needa get outta here!!!!!

schizo's picture

hahah a fellow redditor, eh?

cha-cha-cha's picture

fresh prince of USA

Danni Masterscene's picture

@cha-cha-cha, he's a sceneatologists just like me, did you know that?

J's picture

leave it to carles to get to the heart of the matter.
real talk.

Yo's picture

@J, no doubt.

Real Talk.

paulll's picture

aretha franklin's hat

Mexifro's picture

@paulll, yes, it will live on my mind - forefront memory

naNa's picture

@Mexifro, she just wanted to stand out. <3 aretha

SWEET's picture

MISS U SO BAD GEORGIE!!!

PEnsa's picture

Your gay

*****'s picture

luv getting blackout drunk
not really sure what's going on with obammy
is there a 60 second recap somewhere?

Danni Masterscene's picture

I just woke up, its 11:24am and i'm programmin my tiVO for carles for when he stops by wit the leagle Iz it blunts we rolled wit the brown finch wrapps. I know whawt jur thinkin, where's barry in all of this? well, we have prez clips wit HOPE it lasts, pass the grass on it. they're only 10 bucks donations or a 40 of sum sum tin.

naNa's picture

yep this is the best coverage of the inauguration carles. did you guys see cheney in a wheelchair? hate that guy.

AltCauc's picture

@naNa,

Cheney rulz. I think he even likes the Darth Vadar moniker.

I would.

It's cool to be tough and not a fucking WIMP.

avid_ajaxx's picture

shit was wack yo.
i voted mccain. attc pow_bro

Grandma Death's picture

Riddle me this, how can you shit in the reflection pool when it's completely frozen over?

до свидания's picture

my favr8 thing about obama is his gray hairs are long + straight. makes me want 2 touch his head.

s0 zany

Yo's picture

there should have been free sparks while everyone was w8ing on the world to change like john mayer......change...hope...change...sparks

AltCauc's picture

Looks like a sea of unAlt fat black people.

The hype is sickening.

Glad I'm not standing in the cold fighting to get into a porta potty.

kyda69's picture

@AltCauc, awwww, r u jealous of blk ppl's big penises? Its okay, i bet ur boyfriend will let u eff him with a black dildo if ur 'lil wang isn't doin the job

AltCauc's picture

@kyda69,
I'd be jealous if most of your kind had big cocks. Most don't........just in porn. Most are big ol' black bottoms. Just like Obamie.

Problem is the funky curly hair and then the lack of proper hygiene, to be blunt.

kyda69's picture

@AltCauc, Lemme guess, daddy drank too much? Transplanted to Brooklyn from some hick town in Ohio and are scared of the big black ppl? The city's sooo scarey yall, ppl are different and stuff..

ps...Im not black, but ur definitely a cracker.. Later fggt

AltCauc's picture

I'll wonder if there has been a run on fried chicken.

avid_ajaxx's picture

@AltCauc, smile on your bro, love one ano

terry fuckwit's picture

i fuct altcauc's mum last night under the bridge where she lives

she kept apologising for her son during missionary, so i flipped her over and 'played the b-side'

then i spunked in her hair and nicked her purse. (she still called me the next day tho)

AltCauc's picture

@terry fuckwit,

That wasn't my momma. It was your 91 yr old grannie, you incestous dipshit!

Can't you even figure out how to get her some welfare.....most of your kind are good at chizelin'

derf's picture

@(sm)AltCauc,

<3 unfocuzzd racism on teh int4rn33t

<3 GMILF jkz

havn't hurrd "dipshit" since y2k (gr4de 5 wuz s00 tuff)

racism is s000000 pre-barry 2k8. Ugh get wit tha tymez.

pako's picture

sorry for pooping the lake, y'ins.
i had one in the tumbler

AltCauc's picture

I hope there's some furniture left in the DC hotelrooms after this million fat man march and Al Charlaton were in town.

Could someone pick up the KFC buckets off the mall; PLEZ!

xavier's picture

gawd damn carles your hilarious

dthmtl3000's picture

obama inaguration = best source awards broadcast evr!!!

alz-x's picture

some entry-level altbros from my semi-authentic small town gave up their barry inauguration tix to go to the AnCo concert that night. posers.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.