[via lookbook]
I have been asking for a new camera for the past year.
This Christmas, I finally received one.
This Christmas, my life Changed.
(I actually already had a camera, but the resolution wasn’t high enough for my needs)
My camera will travel with me everywhere.
It will be your gateway to my perspective of the world.
What I find meaningful
will be captured
forever
What I find meaningful
will exist
until my hard drive crashes
What I see
is what I find meaningful
because my eyes
are seeing it
and my heart
is feeling it
and my mind
is thinking it
and my me
is being it.
I like the way I look
I like the way my friends look
I like the way my city looks
I will create a picture
which represents my life
This bro is me.
This bear mask may or may not be a metaphor
I can take a picture of all nouns.
One day I will tire of digital photography
and ‘get back to basics.’
While my pictures will not be
easy to share with friends and family
[via popular photo sharing websites]
If a photo is unsharable,
does that make it more personal,
therefore
more meaningful to me?
Digital Photography will not meet my needs
I want
instant gratification
[via printed out photo]
I will pin these photos on my wall
or put them on my dashboard
or put them in a photo album
that only 5 people will see
gathering dust on a shelf
(Part of the photo hardcopy never dies)
I will take a photo of
last night’s party
last night’s meaningful convo
last night’s night drive
last night’s wardrobe
last night’s face hunt
last night’s face hunting cobrasnake
last night’s last night
I recently received a new camera.
Next year my parents will buy me an accessory for my camera
which allegedly makes it more ‘practical’
if u live [via the past]
The camera is my mirror
It is my pen // I am a writer
The camera is my livejournal
The camera is my blogspot
The camera is my xanga
The camera is my wordpress
The camera is my tumblr
The camera is my twitpic
The camera is my myspace
The camera is my facebook
The camera is my friendster
The camera is my personal brand
The camera is my internet brand
The camera is my youtube account
The camera is my google image search
The camera is my ‘hot hot sex’
The camera is my phone.
/// // ////
Does my phone have a camera in it?
Or does my camera have a phone in it?
Or does my Macbook have a phone in it?
Or does my Mac have a photobooth in it?
Or does my Skype have a vlog in it?
Or does my _____ have a ______ in it?
(This is a metaphor and/or post-rhetorical question.)
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IAmCarles.com
30 Comments
OMG who’s into digital these days? Get a friggin’ Lomo with its saturated colors and lotsa vignette of something like that…with analogue u never kno what u gonna get in the end, and every photo is unique and unpredictable, just like us.
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I feel like theres a good joke to be made out of the child’s toy that’s present in the first picture.
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@CRLS
Resplendent! I’m going to read that at Bowery Poetry Club. <3 u
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Best Post in a long time. Reminded me when I showed this 12 year old how to use a film Slr and gave him a shit load of film, changed him.
I so dig what your talking about, My Cameras Are My Personal Brand.
The multicolored Holga for when I fell zany
The vintage ”diane arbus” Rollei Flex when I fell Classy
The Classic minolta when I fell classic
The big ass canon pro cam when I phallik
and it goes on and on
Is film more authentic?
Is digital is artificial?
Is 35mm wack when you can do medium format?
Color or Black and White?
Kodak or Fuji?
Canon or Nikon?
So many questions….
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FILM is lame lol digital all the way, you can put really cool effects on your photos and if the photo sucks you can change it to black and white (presto: it’s art now)
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what’s an alt without a camera to prove it?
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Or does my vlog have a candy in it?
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Brilliant.
What I love most about digicams is how we’ve all become our own Big Brother. FTW!
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The camera is your unnecessary words for site traffic.
The camera is your extraneous words for site traffic.
The camera is your means of getting increased traffic.
The camera is your meaningless writing to increase traffic.
The camera is your lies and writing about things you aren’t even interested in for increased web traffic.
The camera is how you can post about music you don’t even care about to get more traffic, e.g. Girl Talk. You suck for posting about Girl Talk as if you like his music, yet barely listening to any of it.
The camera is a retarded blog that has no meaning other than getting Internet traffic by nonsense from someone with an average life and average intelligence.
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
@Alex,
Alexsuxs:
Why do you even come here? Ur obviously not a fan, just a turd in a punch bowl.
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//////////Reply by 1234
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
@AltCauc, tru dat. for someone who has a blog called “hipsterwave” with more ads than HRO he sure is turdariffic.
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//////////Reply by burd
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
@1234,
Wurd. Gotta luv the fggtblggr who comes here to steal site traffic from the one tru crls
//////////Reply by *****
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
@Alex,
clrs does it all for the web traffic?
i really like how you’ve managed to capture crls in your rant, it’s like a parody with a meaning of a parody with no meaning, which is what HRO is after all.
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//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
@*****, yeah but hipsterwave posts are actually in English and not completely retarded.
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//////////Reply by xavier
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
@Jessica, too bad that all the stuff on hipsterwave is fuckin wack and are not interesting in the least.
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
@Jessica, your name is xavier and your opinion is meaningless.
//////////Reply by jonnypure
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
@Alex, supa weak and redundant w/o being witty at all………….CLRS IS PROVOKING THOUGHT…….AT LEAST MAKE US LAFF WHEN YA GET SO NEGATRON, JACK.
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//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
@jonnypure, crls is just some fat chick with tattoos and a shifty hair dye job
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//////////Reply by naNa
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
@Jessica, should i go read hipsterwave now?
//////////Reply by human after y'all
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
@Jessica, hipsterwave.com=mnstrmrfggt
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
@human after y’all, sorry, it’s hard to understand when you write in bullshit that’s not even English, but I think you’re calling me a faggot. You’re probably like 13 and still living off your parents’ allowance. Keep it real my little one.
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
@naNa, you should go and do whatever you want.
http://www.hipsterwave.com is doper than this site will ever be, regardless of the fact that this site has been around longer. But you are free to do whatever.
I’m going to stop bothering with hipsterrunoff.com myself though. Yeah yeah, I know you all hate on me so whatever. Peace out, bitches.
//////////Reply by jonnypure
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
@Jessica, PROBS A FAT CHIC BUT MOST DEF U R NOT GETTN FUCKD, I MEAN THIS IS A BLOG WHO THE FUK IS WRITING PROPER………….GO BACK TO YOUR CHEEZE PACE COLL ENGLISH CLASS…………….ps u support the cpykat=LAME
//////////Reply by Jessica
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 12:05 am
@jonnypure, Hahah. What is your major malfunction?
Wait, is this a blog? Oh, cool. Thanks for clearing that up for me! I was confused there for a while, but not that you told me this is a blog and how people are supposed to write on them I understand better.
Proper English is just easier to read whereas text-message-style writing like all the “r u 4 r34ls?” bullshit is just like for the illiterate and people who still live with their parents (usually under the age of 20).
jonnycocksucker.
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//////////Reply by Nathan
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 12:17 am
@Jerkica, “What is your major malfunction?”
dysfunction junction?
//////////Reply by jonnypure
//////////Posted January 11th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
@Jessica, u r probs 22 and gehy, also u live in suburbia=meaningless also why do u read this if u h8=loser g.f.y cunt…………hmm most likly u r from conn,penn,hell live in b.k/n.y.c then u might b of any matterrrrrrrrrrrrr p.s enjoy uconn hope u end up on wallstreet
//////////Reply by TranscontinentalOrgy
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@Alex, when you’re part of a generation that spent their whole lives on the web you gotta recognize that we have all been thru every single phase (spelling things correctly, not using punctuation, being a dick for fun [its not fun once you get stomped on by everyone] being really nice, trying to explain things to everyone and trying to be the first to say this or be like this like me i guess) over & over and ironically again till you catch yourself there and stop yourself, but then later embarrass yourself again until you finally do recognize that youre not better than anyone so its probably best to just shut up
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h8 cameras, too many of them, pictures have no meaning to me anymore, just tools for selling personal brands/lil dbag kids trying to XPRESS themselves(via objectivity)
i like drawings/paintings/3d-media
none of those pictures are worth a thousand words
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THE ONLY PROB WIT THA DIGI IS WTHN
.5 YEAR , SHIT IS weak, and oldskool..TRU PHOTOG IS AUTHENTIC and forever in touch. on the flipside DIGI’S MUCHO Convene………
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this camera is my hot hot sex, lol
first time this blog has made me laugh in a while :)
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everyone and their mom is a photographer now. maybe their dads too. yea, the dads are too.
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I love photography so much!!! I love old film cameras!
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Ughhhh I feel like I’m losing my indie/alt cred. I am just like everyone else (via my LOMO and Polaroid).
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ugh carles i feel like you have the same internet browsing history as i do.
i was looking at the picture of the girl with the bear mask like right before you posted it.
stop copying me.
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//////////Reply by naNa
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
@jennifer, who is that chick? and why does she stand next to a child’s toy? juno?
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//////////Reply by naNa
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
@naNa, my bad wrong pic. i meant the first girl.
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//////////Reply by jennifer
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
@naNa, idk, the first one’s name is taryn, and she’s 16, the same age as juno lol.
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//////////Reply by naNa
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 12:13 am
@jennifer, oh yeah taryn, thought she looked familiar. heard she had a baby.
how alt is a water housing?
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miss uuu polaroid. <3 u fish lens.
o maan, css is sexy. bought one of those remixes for $50, made me feel very authentic.
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does my vag have a dong in it hehehehehhheeeahhhh
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http://2photo.ru/2009/01/06/fotograf_noah_kalina.html
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you can make fun of attractive female alts?
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Give us a smile and adjust to me
Another little butterfly stuck on the bling
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me ooh ooh
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me
Another gin and tonic and I’m yours for sure
They never took my photograph like this before!
My single lens reflex is a little bit slow
I’ll put another film and we’ll give it a go
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me ooh ooh
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me
The camera never lies, but people do.
The camera loves me, yes it’s true
But behind the camera
Behind the camera
There’s you.
Goodness gracious!
Tell me who’s to blame.
It really must be my fault for being so vain.
Now the session’s over and it’s time to go
Am I just another shot in your portfolio?
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me ooh ooh
The camera loves me
And you can’t take your eyes off me
The camera loves me
The camera never lies, but people do.
The camera loves me, yes it’s true
But behind the camera
Behind the camera
There’s you.
if you’re truly hip you know who this song is by
free gift card to Chili’s if you guess
talk to CRLS about the card
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//////////Reply by Gordon Is A Moron
//////////Posted January 7th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
@Gordon Is A Moron, oh fuck i forgot to copy/paste the first two lines of the song
Oh Mr. Beaton what shall I do?
They want my picture taken, so they send me round to you
ghey i know
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This comment is shit. Why the fuck hasn’t Carles blogged about the Millionaires yet?!!! They’re like Uffs x 100,000. Best altbitches ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubfWnIid5J8&feature=related
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted January 8th, 2009 at 12:25 am
oops, I guess he has…but I want more coverage damnit!
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faux-taugrafy isn’t art. anyone can just picks up a ca-mare-a and snap a shot of their fav art nouns. fotos are for dumb-dumbies.
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Get a Polaroid ^_^
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LOMO + Lecia.
HOLLA.
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oooh i have a diane its sooo good!!!
get one get one!
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Alright. The only time I use my camera anymore is to take dirty pics/vids for my boyfriend.
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using a polaroid now when it’s about to extinct makes it more meaningful for you and your authentic peers.miss u polaroid?
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can we talk about facebook tagging
Which pictures of me end up on the internet is so far out of my control now, its starting to scare me
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