>

What can we do to help Contorted Alts?


[via lookbook]
I always get a lil bit sad whenever I see a picture of a contortedalt. While I don’t know if their physical structure is permanently damaged (or if it is just a snap shot of a temporarily tragic pose), I always get a little bit sad inside, because I imagine a person with so much potential not getting a ‘fair alternative life.’

Yall are probably familiar with a lot of the standard contorted alt types. I can’t imagine how my life would be different if my feet both pointed inward, or if I had a permanent slouch/alt hunchback, or if I had to ’scoot around’ on my back/crab walk in order 2 travel. We must be sensitive to Contorted Alts. We must embrace them, talk with them about their special needs, and do more to integrate them into our alternative society.

I’m just saying, yall–don’t judge ppl only based on how they look in pictures. ‘get to know them’ and what’s inside, because sometimes when u actually talk 2 some1, u realize that ‘they listen 2 the same music as u’ and that there is plenty 2 connect about. If u really want 2 ‘open up a meaningful conversation’ it is always important 2 ask some1 what music they like.

I just wish that contorted alts could run free with the rest of us. Wish movies like Forrest Hanks were real so that no1 had 2 ’suffer.’ I guess ’suffering’ is what makes us human after all, though. Glad I’m not a robot.

This entry was posted in Street Fashion, s0 random and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

30 Comments

  1. kn
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    i just tried it, it was pretty comfortable yall

    Reply

  2. Posted January 13, 2009 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    can i get a hell yes on the dominos pizza ads

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anonymous
    //////////Posted

    @KILLKILLKILL, mmmmhhmmm!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by yazmin
    //////////Posted

    @KILLKILLKILL, OH NO! NO MORE ALT TITTIES?

    Reply

  3. Posted January 13, 2009 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    http://www.pukepartyblog.com for real ghey stufff.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by BLACK people
    //////////Posted

    @comp, Listen, usually one of us would write your dumbass off with
    “Blog advertising, as silly as jews thinking there parents love them” or something equally stupid, but I think you need to really understand something.

    WE ARE NOT HERE TO SCOUT FOR OTHER BLOGS, YOUR BLOG IS INFERIOR, WE DON’T WANT TO READ YOUR STUPID SHIT. Now, im going to spam the fuck out of your blog because I’m the shit.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Boosh
    //////////Posted

    @BLACK people, “Now, im going to spam the fuck out of your blog because I’m the shit” hahaaa word

    Reply

  4. Posted January 13, 2009 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    Contortedalts must be wicked for a tug.

    Reply

  5. Posted January 13, 2009 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    amappy generously hires plenty of these types for their giant wall displays

    Reply

  6. Posted January 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    i’m the ‘for realz’ version of forrest gump bro

    Reply

  7. beard
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    they are just crushed by the weight of a society that does not, nor ever will ‘get’ them. bent by the load of creativity they must carry with them, and express to an unappreciative world

    Reply

    //////////Reply by adhd
    //////////Posted

    @beard, that wuz beautiful.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Tar
    //////////Posted

    @beard, also, think so creatively that bodies posture themselves more…out of the box you could say.
    OMG U R TEH ONLY 1 WHO UNDERSTANDZ.
    you desrve tuggles fo sho.

    Reply

  8. Brendan
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    post more alt v8 juice for the contorties alts.

    Reply

  9. m
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    More reasons as to why I’m a chiropractor.

    Reply

  10. *****
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    overload my brain crls

    Reply

  11. Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    SOOooooooor random.
    AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :)CC

    Reply

  12. mark
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    h8 scuttling/crab walk alts

    Reply

  13. AltCauc
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

    back/crab alt walkers are great in bed though. Kind of like the blind, they’re so great with touch. It’s amazing!

    <3 back/crab alt walkers.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by LOLZ
    //////////Posted

    Was Forrest Hanks an altBro?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by AltCauc
    //////////Posted

    @LOLZ,

    not sure, most likely just an authentic/nerd/bro.

    Reply

  14. Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

    yo…what about alt-pro’s? u know, dudes who wurk at cool day jobs and are scenesters by night? maybe play in a band or something…or have a stripper girlfriend? do they get a personl brand? i hate those guyz…

    Reply

  15. hagrid
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    Nike Cortez (via forrest) = big in 2k9?

    Reply

  16. Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, it was pretty

    Reply

  17. io
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/25001/

    Reply

  18. marcosaurus
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    jus started 2 read this blog a couple weeks ago
    <3 it
    this is one of my favs

    Reply

  19. david
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 5:56 pm | Permalink

    miss the amappy ads

    Reply

  20. gcrew
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 6:00 pm | Permalink

    h8 pigeon-toed entry levels.

    p.s. omg why is jonny makeup in the new am appy ads? WHYYY

    Reply

  21. Posted January 13, 2009 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

    Hehe, I absolutely loved it! <3

    Reply

  22. pokemones
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    is dominos the new chili’s?

    Reply

  23. *Jesse
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

    soO blazed rite now.
    Grudgie McGrudgegrudge altz lol

    Reply

  24. Posted January 13, 2009 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

    oh god those are some sexy bitches. Id totally sniff their panties

    Reply

  25. cold legs
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

    mickey mouse fucking sucks so hard

    Reply

  26. Posted January 13, 2009 at 8:03 pm | Permalink

    did too much yoga while my bones were still developing yall. i cant control my alt contrortionism. specially after hash.

    HAVE TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR CONTORTED ALTS.

    Reply

  27. Ctrlalt
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 8:14 pm | Permalink

    It’s so meaningful to inspire your fellow man to move forward into 2k9 graciously by helping contorted alts to overcome their entry level afflictions. The rediculas poses they are stinking up myspace/cobra snake with have got to end. Forest gump was the original nerd alt who was the ultimate contortion master, but he broke free from his physical barriers & went on to live a meaningful exhistance. Good luck contorted alts, you too can stand straight once again.

    Reply

  28. baron von marlon
    Posted January 13, 2009 at 8:17 pm | Permalink

    OH MY GOD! those glasses ae fake . . . . . I never! I wish that dissability never became cool. (not being able to sees) I hope that soon wheel chairs become as cool as glasses, then all the alties will be jumping from high places.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anony
    //////////Posted

    @baron von marlon, I legitimately am horribly near sighted… and yet I wear contacts. Does that make me less alt?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by baron von marlon
    //////////Posted

    @anony, Hahaha yes, but trying to hide who you really are makes you more alt so it all evens out. Hahahaha jokes. but seriously I was watching intervention and this fat kid was eating himself to death but then he had an intervention and he told his gay brother to not try and hide who he was. I think we can all learn something from this. I don’t know what yet though.

    Reply

  29. Posted January 14, 2009 at 4:02 am | Permalink

    Haven’t we forgotten about Wheelchair Alts?

    Reply

  30. Teh Anomususses
    Posted January 14, 2009 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    We can punch them in the face.

    You must first be mentally contorted to become physically contorted soon after.

    One awakening blow and they’ll be contorted no mo’.

    Reply

Post a Comment, Yall!

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*