[via lookbook]
I always get a lil bit sad whenever I see a picture of a contortedalt. While I don’t know if their physical structure is permanently damaged (or if it is just a snap shot of a temporarily tragic pose), I always get a little bit sad inside, because I imagine a person with so much potential not getting a ‘fair alternative life.’
Yall are probably familiar with a lot of the standard contorted alt types. I can’t imagine how my life would be different if my feet both pointed inward, or if I had a permanent slouch/alt hunchback, or if I had to ’scoot around’ on my back/crab walk in order 2 travel. We must be sensitive to Contorted Alts. We must embrace them, talk with them about their special needs, and do more to integrate them into our alternative society.
I’m just saying, yall–don’t judge ppl only based on how they look in pictures. ‘get to know them’ and what’s inside, because sometimes when u actually talk 2 some1, u realize that ‘they listen 2 the same music as u’ and that there is plenty 2 connect about. If u really want 2 ‘open up a meaningful conversation’ it is always important 2 ask some1 what music they like.
I just wish that contorted alts could run free with the rest of us. Wish movies like Forrest Hanks were real so that no1 had 2 ’suffer.’ I guess ’suffering’ is what makes us human after all, though. Glad I’m not a robot.
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30 Comments
i just tried it, it was pretty comfortable yall
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can i get a hell yes on the dominos pizza ads
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 11:30 am
@KILLKILLKILL, mmmmhhmmm!
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//////////Reply by yazmin
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@KILLKILLKILL, OH NO! NO MORE ALT TITTIES?
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http://www.pukepartyblog.com for real ghey stufff.
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//////////Reply by BLACK people
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
@comp, Listen, usually one of us would write your dumbass off with
“Blog advertising, as silly as jews thinking there parents love them” or something equally stupid, but I think you need to really understand something.
WE ARE NOT HERE TO SCOUT FOR OTHER BLOGS, YOUR BLOG IS INFERIOR, WE DON’T WANT TO READ YOUR STUPID SHIT. Now, im going to spam the fuck out of your blog because I’m the shit.
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//////////Reply by Boosh
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
@BLACK people, “Now, im going to spam the fuck out of your blog because I’m the shit” hahaaa word
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Contortedalts must be wicked for a tug.
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amappy generously hires plenty of these types for their giant wall displays
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i’m the ‘for realz’ version of forrest gump bro
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they are just crushed by the weight of a society that does not, nor ever will ‘get’ them. bent by the load of creativity they must carry with them, and express to an unappreciative world
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//////////Reply by adhd
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
@beard, that wuz beautiful.
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//////////Reply by Tar
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
@beard, also, think so creatively that bodies posture themselves more…out of the box you could say.
OMG U R TEH ONLY 1 WHO UNDERSTANDZ.
you desrve tuggles fo sho.
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post more alt v8 juice for the contorties alts.
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More reasons as to why I’m a chiropractor.
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overload my brain crls
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SOOooooooor random.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)CC
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h8 scuttling/crab walk alts
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back/crab alt walkers are great in bed though. Kind of like the blind, they’re so great with touch. It’s amazing!
<3 back/crab alt walkers.
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//////////Reply by LOLZ
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Was Forrest Hanks an altBro?
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//////////Reply by AltCauc
//////////Posted January 13th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
@LOLZ,
not sure, most likely just an authentic/nerd/bro.
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yo…what about alt-pro’s? u know, dudes who wurk at cool day jobs and are scenesters by night? maybe play in a band or something…or have a stripper girlfriend? do they get a personl brand? i hate those guyz…
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Nike Cortez (via forrest) = big in 2k9?
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Yeah, it was pretty
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http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/25001/
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jus started 2 read this blog a couple weeks ago
<3 it
this is one of my favs
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miss the amappy ads
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h8 pigeon-toed entry levels.
p.s. omg why is jonny makeup in the new am appy ads? WHYYY
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Hehe, I absolutely loved it! <3
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is dominos the new chili’s?
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soO blazed rite now.
Grudgie McGrudgegrudge altz lol
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oh god those are some sexy bitches. Id totally sniff their panties
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mickey mouse fucking sucks so hard
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did too much yoga while my bones were still developing yall. i cant control my alt contrortionism. specially after hash.
HAVE TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR CONTORTED ALTS.
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It’s so meaningful to inspire your fellow man to move forward into 2k9 graciously by helping contorted alts to overcome their entry level afflictions. The rediculas poses they are stinking up myspace/cobra snake with have got to end. Forest gump was the original nerd alt who was the ultimate contortion master, but he broke free from his physical barriers & went on to live a meaningful exhistance. Good luck contorted alts, you too can stand straight once again.
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OH MY GOD! those glasses ae fake . . . . . I never! I wish that dissability never became cool. (not being able to sees) I hope that soon wheel chairs become as cool as glasses, then all the alties will be jumping from high places.
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted January 14th, 2009 at 2:57 am
@baron von marlon, I legitimately am horribly near sighted… and yet I wear contacts. Does that make me less alt?
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//////////Reply by baron von marlon
//////////Posted January 14th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
@anony, Hahaha yes, but trying to hide who you really are makes you more alt so it all evens out. Hahahaha jokes. but seriously I was watching intervention and this fat kid was eating himself to death but then he had an intervention and he told his gay brother to not try and hide who he was. I think we can all learn something from this. I don’t know what yet though.
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Haven’t we forgotten about Wheelchair Alts?
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We can punch them in the face.
You must first be mentally contorted to become physically contorted soon after.
One awakening blow and they’ll be contorted no mo’.
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