I didn’t read about ‘why’ Uffie was naked and her boyfriendArtBro was doodling her, but it seemed bloggable. But then I got all sad cuz I don’t want my blog to be aligned with n00dz+electro any more. Kinda want to make it more like a ‘communal room where bros turn on lava lamps and listen to AnCo/incubus.’
[meme via hypebeast/ID magazine]
I remember back in 2k7/k8, Uffie would always ‘show off her nips‘ and it would be s000 bloggable. Kinda ashamed of who I was back then. I thought it was funnie that I kept blggng about her, even though she has only really made like 2.5 songs. It was a ‘funnie joke’ since she just kinda parties and pretends 2 be a musician. but now I actually hold my altcelebs and musicians accountable for progressive our art economy.
In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this. It’s time to ‘grow up’ and put Ed Banger behind us, yall. U have 2 realize that when u go to a Justice concert, u r perpetuating consumerist bullshit. It’s just the next trend that pokemones/mexicAlts are going to worship. (not sure if ppl already stopped following Ed Banger memes+artists in 2k5)
Yall need to worship that it is ‘okay to like music’ for any reason, but it is also ‘okay to resent music that u used 2 allegedly like and shun that era of ur life, completely invalidating who U were during that time.’
We need to grow up.
We need to come up with a global rubric for what constitutes ‘art.’
We need international blogging guidelines for ‘what memes are bloggable.’
We need viral containment standards.
We need to look in the mirror
and realize that we will not last forever (our lives’)
and do more to chill hard
without thinking about
why we like what we like
and follow what we follow.
(do yall know what female artists will be big in 2k9? Maybe that girl who wrote that song about how she’s not gonna write u a love song (u say I only hear what I want 2)?)
What should HRO be about in 2k9? what gimmicks can yall see emerging?
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IAmCarles.com
45 Comments
she looks like she’s gettin chubb
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uffies tits now match her career and music
(all terrible)
Electro has been dead for a while imho and now the cool club thing is to listen to early 90’s “hip hop techno” like Snap!, Technotronic, 2 Unlimited, etc. Thankfully the wardrobe kind of still carries over and all that stupid fucking “POPPIN’ CHAMPAGNE” and pretending to be a party gangster (where did this come from!?) is still considered fun and cool.
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uffie looks like duffy
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//////////Reply by eedit
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
totally
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//////////Reply by EL FGGT
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
@DavidBoring,
beggin u for mercies
why wont you photograph me
no more
what is love
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she got married some while ago.
now she looks like an old hooker.
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Holy shit tell me that is not her tit down there.
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//////////Reply by sxndrgs
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
@Tits, omg
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//////////Reply by panchizzy
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
@sxndrgs, can.she.tie.them.in.a.knot.can.she.tie.them.in.a.bow?
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//////////Reply by BROSKI
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
@panchizzy,
face of a young alt. failure… boobs of a saggy grandma
i think she looks better now. not so much on the “cracked out coke zero diet” end of the spectrum but more on the “hey i think i look like that from the back too” end of the spectrum. makes her more relatable, yknow? altho there is that whole “she’s a terrible and uninteresting person” thing that makes her less relatable..guess it all balances out.
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check out that noobsor’s step dad jeans
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weak post carles
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//////////Reply by Saad
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@um,
He’s keeping it pretty real :: ur not who you thought you were in 2k8 – you are anew whether you like it or not. suffering is holding a dead identity. just a reminder bro
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//////////Reply by monster
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 8:38 am
@um, ur weak
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she has very clean feeet. they turn me onnn
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Jean Luc Godard would have devoured her yesteryear and today :: she is bloggable & beautiful from my vision :: in all of us their is something uniquely Devine. And uffie has my lyrical, aesthetic respect. Her Devinity is there, somewhere now and this pictures captures something about it….but yes the Ed Banger years are done :: you are done – honor your right of passage to evolve – Take a sledge hammer out and shatter your clear lens hipster shades. they are gimmicky and your act is up. they are made from plastic :: seriously? The whole world is on to your mainstream contribution ;-) Your provision is a dying art and now a mainstream gimmick. Keep it moving, keep your self moving, redifine yourself, maybe let an Azn sharpie you
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//////////Reply by 1890's
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
@Saad,
r u high on drugs ?
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//////////Reply by Saad
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
@1890’s,
sometimes yea ::
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
@Saad, a true HRO
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nvr “grow up”
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
@P3ter.P4n, :)
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Uffie is so not authentic. We need a female AnCo to believe in. Perhaps Lani and the Morissettes?
In all seriousness, can women be authentic? Could they have been if Hillary was president? Could they never be if Sarah Palin was president?
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 12:02 am
@Herpesterrunnoff, considering that authenticity correlates with being a good musician I’m really not sure. why does it seem that females are under represented in music that isn’t tired and cliche?
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//////////Reply by perezhilton
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@Herpesterrunnoff, Kría Brekka is married to Avey Tare. doesn’t that make her the female AnCo by default? i guess that makes her brand pretty authentic
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uffie has always been shit! always thot she wus busted 2.
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can’t we like whatever new music that we like that comes out ? – or old music? isn’t it more authentic to not have a gimmick associated with our ‘tastes’? – are we better than pokemoneAlts? – are we better than who we used to be?
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Carles why are you such a in the closet fag? Why do you need to write about Uffie. I hope you die and your mother gets raped in the ass. You live your life like this? poor you, it’s such a kick ass world, thank god you are not a part of it. Later Hater
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crls YOU ARE FALLING OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
BRING IT BACK!!!!
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Dear Carles,
h8 u bcuz of this post.
Srsly.
U write:
“In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this.”
Mainstream doesnt = authntic.
Nd nor should it.
What separates me from the next mothrfker is that I have my authentic altLoves.
Nd srsly, the alt community is its own community just like the mainstream community.
We both have our legit artists [FleetFoxes + Coldplay]
We both have our dance electro shit [Cut Copy + Lady Gaga]
We both have our “deep” singr/songwritrs [Sigur Ros + Feist]
We both have our potential-CrossOver DJs [Steve Aoki + DJ AM]
Nd We both have our trashy <3’s [Uffie + Britney Spears]
Its not about “growing up”
Its about accepting diffrnt types of ppl.
Its about having diffrnt groups within the alt music community.
Its about CoExistance yall.
Need u 2 stop being 2 good / 2 elitist, Carles.
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//////////Reply by Saad
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
@/// josé speaks: ///,
Damn Thats pretty Real Too
palabra
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//////////Reply by jackie
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
@/// josé speaks: ///, i could totz understand this. thats deep.
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//////////Reply by monica
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
@/// josé speaks: ///,
Couldnt agree more.
Love Uffie nd other trashy Alt Celebzzz.
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//////////Reply by sk
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
@/// josé speaks: ///,
uffie iz amazin, dnt fck yrslf over and bcum 2 elitist. git yr shit 2gether.
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 12:09 am
@/// josé speaks: ///, I’m most concerned about the erosion of nips and peen in 2k9 unless it’s “tasteful” which of course means nips only from here on out.
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//////////Reply by DaviAACrame
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 12:20 am
@/// josé speaks: ///,
I think theres a lot of overlap between these 2 “communities”.
But I agree… Carles, dont get elitist on us.
I miss pre-Halloween 2k8 posts.
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//////////Reply by iguy
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 1:12 am
@/// josé speaks: ///,
José you got it right. Anyone who doesn’t respect Uffie, does not deserve respect. Carles — stop hatin and playin hard i got a loaded bodyguard don’t make him pull out the glock and pop uffie’s gonna make this shit rock.
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//////////Reply by Ari
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@/// josé speaks: ///,
Your deep is so shallow, and your stances so self-serving, it makes me cry.
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oh ya.
love uffie….keep bloggin that babe
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http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/79/hipster.html
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//////////Reply by thetruthyall
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
@peas, yeah, that’s a lot of reading bro
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//////////Reply by Sgt. Jesus
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
@peas, that is like soooo old
i bet you’re 14
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 12:11 am
@Sgt. Jesus, Adbusters tried to ask “are we human or are we dancer?” That would have been too literate for them. Their communication degrees never covered 20th century fiction. This is the article that made me realize that print is for the 90s. Adbusters stands as the tribute to the brain drain of the Internet. Why write for some pulp project when you can blog? No one relevant or intelligent writes for them. They’re a bunch of anti-globalization alts (via anarchy) annoying the world one poor analysis at a time.
Hipsterism can be an exciting study. That’s why we read HRO. Has the world changed? Yes. Does Adbusters have a clue? No.
Adbusters, serving half-baked commentary since 1989
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//////////Reply by flowzz
//////////Posted February 9th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@SilverTell, shit, you’re fucking right as hell.
//////////Reply by WhiteBlipster
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
@peas, I actly wasted my time reading tht whole thing….
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 12:12 am
@peas, This article is not about real alts but scenesters who think they are alt.
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i predict that in 2k9, the predominant meme will continue to be the act of predicting what memes/gimmicks will be emerging later on in 2k9 and perhaps beyond.
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Uffie always looked like she has a stank pussa.
Or she just rolled out of an orgy.
You need to blog about serious alt art like Yeasayer crls. srsly.
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im hot y’all. i don’t care what anybdy thinks about my body/boobs/but and i don’t care cus im alt and alt girls get away w/ anything cus everything we do is branded and is a reference to somethng that probably happnd in the 60s or 70s
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Another shameless nudity post?
Sparks lives on. See my name URL. Biotches.
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//////////Reply by thetruthyall
//////////Posted February 5th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
@I’M THE FUCKING BEST,
do u post ginger peen at ur site? what makes u so different Mr. LookatmeIhaveAwebsite??
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 12:15 am
@thetruthyall, successful branding turns shit into gold.
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//////////Reply by 243r
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 1:48 am
@anony, …if we could only turn gold into shit than we could have a cashless society…oh wait..wrong blog.
//////////Reply by bew!
//////////Posted February 8th, 2009 at 12:52 am
@I’M THE FUCKING BEST, you’re just a cockroach that won’t die.
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electro and boobs will always be cool
especially electroboobs
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//////////Reply by electroboobs
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
@pako,
awww yeah boieee
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dear yall artist in the Undergradz
please submit work
http://undergradart.blogspot.com/
submit at okluna@gmail.com
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Well I love this white piece of meat…….Bitch you’re breakfast
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dear carles
you now have permission to officially stop blgging
The Hipsterrunoffs are dead
and now alt=mnstrm
it’s what we have all been dreading
you have lost ur touch
‘weak post carles’-um
with each new post I feel further away from you
CARLES YOU ARE JUST A MEME
miss u ed banger
miss u cristine castle
miss u neon
miss u palestinean scarfs
miss u sparks
miss u the girl talks
miss u crls in 2k7/2k8
ps now that you ‘dont partie’
are you gonna take all the partypixx sites off your sidebar?
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//////////Reply by itaintallover
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 1:56 am
@anony, well at least we know about http://www.hipsterwave.com now, hehe.
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//////////Reply by itaintallover
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 2:02 am
@itaintallover, (sorry all y’all for having to post this despised link one more time, but the joke wouldn’t be the same without it)
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//////////Reply by el fggt
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
@anony,
rip carles 1.0
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 12:17 am
@anony,
i <3 CRLS
i <3 anony
CRLS = anony?
CRLS mos probz anony
i <3 CRLS cmmts (via anony)
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Christ, I cant stand that prick Andre. Uffie needs a bit more ass, but I’d still fuck it.
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Edie Sedgwick, is that you???!!!11
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//////////Reply by oh noez
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
@Grandma Death,
uffie stoled my drugs
much like edie sedwick stole loulou reads’s drugs
idk if uffie compares tho becuz shes not fucking a bob dylalt…
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i dont like when the posts arent funny.
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little boots will be kinda big deal..
;)
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//////////Reply by no no no no no
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
@musicologised,
no
no
no
no
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 12:20 am
@musicologised,
italo disco… ugh
lil boots… ugh
new new disco (via new DFA)… ugh
special disco version… ugh
max tundra… ugh
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Crls is right, its not elitist to grow up, but you still have to enjoy yourself and don’t feel sad about your misguided youth/love for Ed Banger/adherence to hipster trends like keffiyehs and heavy black framed glasses, cause really its not your fault that you like what everyone that you relate to is doing, its only natural. Just learn from your mistakes and to stick to v-neck t’s and leather jackets cause those never actually go out of style. I think what we need is a new LCD Soundsystem album to shed some light on the current state of alt-culture. Where is James Murphy when we need him? btw Uffie is cute in that “i don’t need to try as hard as you” way
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//////////Reply by not james murphy
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
@den,
lcd soundsystem ttly broke up
bcuz james murphy has the power
to breaked up
a solo project
RIP THE LDC SOUNDSYSTMS!!!
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 12:35 am
@not james murphy, wish u were james murphy
wish u were here
if u were here James, i would ask you
“did you exchange a walk on part in a war for a lead role in cage?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?”
wish u were here
wish special disco version didn’t suck
wish Daft Punk was playing at ur house
wish u were still the disco infiltrator fo’ sure
wish u didn’t do coke with Santos and friends
James, I close my eyes on the dancefloor
I forget about you!
I take it that we’re over?
Should we even care at all?!
<3 u
h8 u
miss u Murph
ps
a girl i was dating served you coffee at Marlow and Sons this summer and we saw you at Lorimer the night we broke up.
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//////////Reply by not james murphy
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
@SilverTell,
yeah
of course i wish i wwas james murphy
he is a god
a god
i tell you
cheerup silvertell!!!
one day he will return
the james murphy will descend upon us
with a stack of freshhh disco whitelabels
and peace shall be returned to
the kingdom
amen
//////////Reply by den
//////////Posted February 8th, 2009 at 12:00 am
@not james murphy,
i don’t know if you’re trying to be ironic, sarcastic, or misleading, but you can’t break up a solo project. Don’t you have a reliable news source that feeds you p4k links that contain nme links that are actually worthwhile. Check the meaningful stuff here: http://www.nme.com/news/lcd-soundsystem/41132
Crls even covered this story: http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/meaningful-quote-of-the-day.html
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//////////Reply by not james murphy
//////////Posted February 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
@den,
no, thas what i’m saying bro,
james murphy is a groundbreaker
because he DID break up his solo project.
his next project was to put it back together again before ne1 noticed.
Is Uffie a Pokeman?
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oh shit, “not gonna write u a love song (u say I only hear what I want 2)?”
thank you. can’t stop hearing it now. cycles and cycles and nuthin’ new.
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It’s ok Uffie, gravity is a bitch, but don’t you worray duct tape fix alll
=)
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Would anyone know who stepdad jean guy was if he want Uffie’s huz?
I drew shit like that at fucking nursery school.
Iwantfeadzback:(
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//////////Reply by EL FGGT
//////////Posted February 6th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@2manygheyboys,
i kno, rite! i can draw like that… why cant i be hittin that… why am i not getting the syphilis of uffies…
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Carles,
You never write abt altbros tryin to get tugs anymore. Whats with that? I feel like you’ve matured way too fast. I like the new mature Carles, but i miss the old Carles who was just another bro writing abt tugs a lil.
I feel the same way abt myself actually. I’m not just lookin for tugs nemore but still miss the old me who was just lookin to get a lil vulnerable and get a tug. I guess you could say that now I’m looking for meaning.
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Carlos, I <3 U, but please p0st m0re p33n and please somebody wash UFFIEs nasty feet (p00r s0les) (p00r s0uls)
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r u ready 2 ‘uff’??
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is she getting plastic surgery on her back?
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//////////Reply by Uffie
//////////Posted February 7th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
@smehpstr,
Yeah, bitch. I’m getting a full back tuck.
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Uffie taught me how to “Pop the Glock”. I’ll always love her because of that.
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ahahaha fat girl
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10 years from now, i will still listen to the best songs from 2k7 because they are beautiful. and i will still look at the best party photos from that time because they are timeless.
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electro is awesome u fag. ed banger will continue ruling all…and u will continue writing shit blogs that enivitably ends in ur suicide as a 37 year old virgin xx
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Uffie is cool but she needs to release more content. She’s still riding on her first tune. The the only thing I don’t understand is her marrying that Andre dude. Why?
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