ALT or BRO is a new HRO gimmick where readers must decided if the male person pictured is a BRO or an ALT. While we have seen many AltBros, there is a polarizing presence between true bros and true alts. Altbro is synergy, but there are many bros who are not alts, and many alts who are not bros.
[Photo via lookbook]
Do yall think he is a bro or an alt? Or an ‘altbro’? Or a tween interpretation of an altbro?
Please justify yalls answer in order to receive a free mix CD from Carles
For example:
“he is a bro because he has too many muscles and looks like he is an alpha bro in high school.”
or
“he is an alt bc he has on a zany hat, and created a lookbook account. He also has a fanny pack.”
What do yall think?
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84 Comments
he is an altbro. the zany hate, the lookbook account, the muscles, all suggest he is an alpha-dominant altbro, but probably not the head of his crew.
maybe vice-altbro.
or secretary of meaningful-core
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//////////Reply by zaxdev
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 am
the fanny pack just means that he’s trying to be efficient in carrying his brogear. definitely agree with the ‘alpha-dombro’.
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//////////Reply by nipplez
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 6:32 am
@zaxdev, theyalltruth.
I think he is neither. I think that he is a metro faggot or perhaps a fagbro. Not generalizing but he looks like a try hard gay. I dont like the ripped singlet, singlets are already ripped, and he doesnt have muscles. Thats like saying MUSCLES has musles.
luv yall nigguz.
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the kids a douchebro. the hat, the muscles, the condescending jock glare, the hairlessness. it all adds up.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurst
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//////////Reply by Barack Obama
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
@russel peters,
my money and The Economy’s on douchebro, definitely.
HOPE he didn’t vote for me.
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//////////Reply by Gavin McInnes
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 5:44 pm
@Barack Obama, we all know five months ago he was wearing american eagle polos with the collars popped and preripped step dad jeans and saying words like off the chain and crunk.
He reeks of DOUCHEBRO
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//////////Reply by Super Awesome Guy
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 2:36 am
@Gavin McInnes, Total DoucheBro! Now that ALT is not the alt, its the norm, so this bro is a bro, a douchebro.
//////////Reply by $
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 5:30 am
@Gavin McInnes, we all know that five months ago he was voting for Barack.
//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
@Gavin McInnes, Douchebro on the cusp of emo.
he is a southern/midwest inbreed-a-bro. got the the best facial structure in his high school, but hangs out with the fat chicks and lets them dress him based on trends they see online.
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//////////Reply by russel peters
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 11:53 am
@MS, wow
nailed it
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//////////Reply by matt
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
@MS, agreed a southernbro trying to break the mold but unwilling to lose his alpha status. He is bound by his “all-american” features, however is not afraid to show a little nip.
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//////////Reply by tripler
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
@MS, perfect
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//////////Reply by dawsman
//////////Posted March 6th, 2009 at 12:55 am
@ms
right. he dates a hottie from rival school known among fat-hos for being nice and dressing cute. full credit to ms for the broagnosis.
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//////////Reply by ▲
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 11:39 am
@MS, amazing analysis.
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definite bro, but his julian casaltblancas haircut (via the british invasion) confuses me
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Southernbro. This variety enjoys wearing tank topz, chewin on straw and most of all riding bmx bikez.
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Definately a bro. If he’s entrylvlAnything, it’s entrylvlBodybuilder, just hasn’t started doing the hormones and metamphetamines and all that yet.
His chin does add an interesting contradiction to his personal via physical brand. He could be a tween soap actor, and after that he could get a GF who dates altCelebrities and that way even become an alt indie rock start like Jared Leto or Keanu Reeves.
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Definitely an ALTBRO MIX!!! I mean look at that fanny pack! More ALT than BRO, nose ring? yea definitely not BROOOO Also the football shirt is for POWDER PUFF football and it’s vintage..he ripped any athleticism connected to it and turned it into a hop trendy tank
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Bromo. He’s as gay as a day in May.
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//////////Reply by *Jesse
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@dax jax,
I was gonna say that…not the gay in may stuff….but just ghey in general.
But yeah, totally looks like a midwest-progressive-alt-jock…..he dates chicks now, but once he goes away for college he’ll be ’seduced’ by another bromo and his personal brand will morph into UBERfggt as he struggles to ‘find himself’ after years of repression [via church]
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//////////Reply by Kito
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
@*Jesse,
LOL! <3 this comment.
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the muscles aren’t big enough or chiseled enough to make him a straight up bro. I’m guessing they are from skating. I’m so far removed from high school life to know it skating is alt again or not. I’m going with Sk8-bro who picked up a few cues from hipsters.
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//////////Reply by thetruthyall
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@forrest, i dont see any hi-Skoolers in my town who don’t at least look like they skate
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BRAlt- On the football team but plays an alt position, kicker or something. he considers himself alt and is in relation to his usual crowd of jocks, but strives to hang out with and get his jock friends to hang out with true alts. when he finds himself in a “true” alt environment, he feels like a poser, and bro takes over. he will find safety in being the “alt” among “bros”, and the “bros” will consider themselves openminded because they have an “alt” friend.
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//////////Reply by mmmark
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
@Bantatstic, def stuckinthemiddlealtbro. could be totally alt, but grew up as a trapped-in-suburbia bro [via shopping center parking lot] and realized he didn’t belong, but he was too far gone into brodom to turn 100% alt.
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//////////Reply by thetruthyall
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
@mmmark, I think we’re getting good at this, y’all
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//////////Reply by niat
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@Bantatstic,
this is just psychologically inaccurate. I’m afffraid fggts don’t try to bring a football team over to the alt side of things. He would get tossed off the team and raped as punishment.
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//////////Reply by colander
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
@niat, the sad truth is, ppl involved in high school sports report in higher percentages of having dabbled in gheyness. this is the truth.
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//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
@colander, Really?
//////////Reply by Niat
//////////Posted March 5th, 2009 at 9:02 am
@colander,
ya I heard that too.. but that’s all the more reason why they “openly” rebuke the alt/queer side of life.
//////////Reply by dawsman
//////////Posted March 6th, 2009 at 1:07 am
@Bantatstic, no diggity. you nailed it! he’s really good but doesn’t go to weightlifting. man, he HEARS it from his more committed brother, an ex-athlete and a good one at that. his brother’s got a point, though, right? his sports career gave him the tools he needed to get through a certified nursing course while AT THE SAME TIME waiting tables and writing for the junior college newspaper.
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….and they’re all unadmittantly afraid of black people, even though “some of their best friends are black”.
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Tight pants wearin’ ass altbro.
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this douche probably wants to bang silver back gorillas.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
@shamespear, tell me abt it!
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sure, Carles…I see his vanillabra tendencies ’specially with the faux vintage T, but fannybag makes him tween interpretation altbro…
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bro:the muscles and the hat (they usually wear their hats on the top of their heads), the look/face, the hair (which is a typical post-bro haircut)
alt:the tank top, the skinny jeans (cause bros wear pre-distressed boot cut jeans), the fanny pack, the lookbook account, the hair
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he is a bro for sure. douche status, not due to sweet alt elitism, makes him a bro for sure
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He’s a total BRO… Just wants a tug from one of the 3 tru alt girls at his school, ’cause he feels like they “get” him ’cause his parents are divorced.
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i think douchebag really works here. nice one russel p
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The tank top is not merely an alt style, there is a deeper meaning which is the desire to remain covered yet freely expose yourself. I.E., an altbag wearing a sliced & diced tank top w/ no layer underneath is a manifestation of sluttiness [via I Am Flawed If I'm Not Free via popular alt band Jenny Lewis]. A bro or altbro wearing a tank top is typically an in-your-face expression of “I have come to terms with my bird chest, I need not rely on physical brostitude to express my masculinity” [via overcompensation] or “I absolutely must rely on my physical brostitude to express my masculinity” [via overcompensation].
This guy probably works out shirtless in 9th grade weight training class because he’s insecure.
I say closet bromo, overcompensating & trying to find his place in the world within the confines of the narrow worldview of his upbringing… he will not find genuine acceptance [via others, via himself] until he looks in the places he refuses to look. Until he opens his mind to true alternative lifestyles, he will always be an overcompensating entry level alt closet bromo.
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He’s def a bro pretending to be an alt. He’s probably the quarterback of his football team and he saw that alt is kool so he changed his look. His pants are not nearly tight enough to be alt…i can see wrinkles. He probably used his muscles to beat up the kids he stole those clothes from.
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//////////Reply by bebop
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
@R u professional?,
That was exactly what I was thinking. His pants aren’t
tight enough to be alt, so he def got them from Abercrombie or some mnstrm store. They aren’t tight enough to outcast him from bros, but are tight enuff for girls to see him as ‘interesting’ and ‘outside the box’.
but really he just comes home to a hot mom that doesn’t
care about him pourin vodka in his mouf and a jock dad thats happy his son is ‘different’ but ‘talented’.
thats a faux vintage shirt too. prolly came pre-ripped.
only bromos wear hats like that and have their hair that tidy.
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this is the most wonderful thread, you guys (aka, yalls).
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This is clearly a case of the Freaky Friday / Prince and the Pauper variety. A bro and alt have a big fight which concludes with each one thinking he has the bad deal and the other has the easy life. The alt wakes up in the bro’s body and, after overcoming the initial shock, immediately proceeds to dress exactly like they would otherwise. Hilarity ensues. Fanny pack. Holding a flower (how has nobody mentioned he’s holding a dandelion with no petals? He’s systematically plucked each one off wondering “loves me?”)
You’ll all be pleased to know that within a week, they each realize that no life is better than another. The air that I exhale is inhaled by my neighbor. We are not bro or alt; we simply are.
–Buddha
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//////////Reply by perezhilton
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@Maitre Raisin, that was beautiful
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//////////Reply by Maitre Raisin
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 10:26 am
@perezhilton, Thanks. Buddha and I were inspired by this pearl from the lookbook FAQ: “What is Average karma? A user’s total karma divided by the number of looks he or she has posted…the Karma Filter uses average karma to determine how often each look is shown. “
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because he is challenging our natural perception of what makes someone alt and/or bro, i would call this bro alt. he’s willing to ‘challenge the norm’ by ‘reaching across the aisle’
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definitely the altest of his mainstream-midwestern-abercrombie wearing fggt bros, but not nearly alt enough for the true alt crowd (2 ppl in his suburbia). has been taking slight clues from scenesters and junior emos at his highschool and finally met someone in the city (via the internet) who passed along the holy grail – a lookbook invite- he lurked for 4-5 months and now ventured to post (via picture his faghag took at the mall). he is the type who would post in a livejournal community claiming his dated trends make him soooo hipster. will probably soon venture to wearing leggins and some form of zany vans.
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//////////Reply by perezhilton
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
upon closer inspection, he appears to be holding some form of stuffed animal?
nevermind then. he’s just a fggt
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he’s a bro in transition.
formally a bro who used muscles to mask a latent faggtness. lately transitioning into alt-queer but hasn’t a full wardrobe to complement his new identity politics
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nip slip…
kid’s totally bro
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//////////Reply by bebop
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
@elfielouise,
totes true.
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Is that a hamster in his hand? what is he gonna do with it??? DEFINITELY alt. or fggt.
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Anyone who thinks that guy has muscles doesn’t spend much time around athletes or bodybuilders.
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//////////Reply by the jobros
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@dax jax, dont be silly. his musculature is far more advanced than most altbros displayed on these pages, ESPECIALLY for a lookbookbro
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//////////Reply by до свидания
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
@dax jax, y wuld i want 2 hang around ppl w/ gross muscles, ekkkk.
he reminds me of the boys in 50s/60s/70s/80s/90s/ (way b4 i was born) italian gangsta films who r kinda qt but also l00k homophobic. i dont like his hair though….think he is a kinda boring bro who is tryin 2 look altbro in order 2 get tugs from altgirls who want 2 “fix him up”.
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//////////Reply by the jobros
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@до свидания, yeah, i know what ur saying. I’ve known guys like this, but he tips the scale toward the altside than most italian sk8 bros or ‘grew up by the shore’ ‘classic rock’ bros.
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@the jobros, yah, i think he’s the ‘missing link’ [via charles darwin] b/w the regular bros and the altbros.
//////////Reply by до свидания
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
@до свидания, upon investigating his looks [via lookbook.nu] he is a boring, moderately attractive la model who has a “sexi southern hs football player” look. his looks r dated bcuz he isnt as alt as he thinks he is (he doesnt really like clothes, just the attention bein psuedoalt gets him). some1 gave him a lb invite + he posts jbroish looks soley 4 postive comments based on not his clothes but good looks.
basically he seems vacuous + narcissistic. he needs 2 cut his hair 2 it doesnt suit his bone structure.
hope im not bein a cyberbully.
ciao bella.
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//////////Reply by thetruthyall
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
@до свидания, yeah, I was afraid we were all being bullies for a second. but i also checked his lookbook, and his looks allow others to think he is a masculine bro but he’s basically a pretty boy
Sad, a bro trying to be some1 he’s not. Struggling 2 b self-aware but his bros prevent him from gaining the proper perspective. Pretending 2 b alt, also pretending 2 b bro, really just fggt. Probs <333s buttfukking.
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High school Football star quarter back that went and saw jonas bros 3d in theaters and decided that by dressing like a zany alt he could steal freshman girl v cards easier
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he is a bro trapped in suburbia, but not a true-alt bro trapped in suburbia. this bro will go on to do great things such as “cumming” on sluts, posing in parking lots, and continuing to think that he is better than you well into his early thirties.
poor bro
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he is actually a football bro who was shown dashboard confessional and fell in love with it so he went home and looked up the word indie on google and decided that is what he must be but his dad is a bro dad who is assistant volunteer football coach who would kick his sons ass if he listened to anything different than hinder. consequently this bro tells his dad that he fucked a girl last night and took her powder puff football shirt and he has his steroids in his fanny pack to go work out.
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bro
cause he’s in a car park holding a stuffed animal
he looks like he could be a hot basebolla or throwing down @ a deathXcore gig
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Gotta be AltBro
Head gear says Alt
Powder Puff competition says “Bro” (ish)
Fanny pack says Tween
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FOX ads on HRO?
<3 U crls.
H8 that I don’t get u sometimes.
Keep on bloggin’
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im pretty certian he.s not altoid..
but im going to say cuh is..onlybecausebrodieiscarryingahamsptr.
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Bro in transition
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//////////Reply by Junebug
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 3:00 pm
@May,
think ur rite. looks like a bro because he can be always be ‘anywhere, with anyone, making out’ nd alt because he has a post help pre sergeant peppered george harrycut
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I MISS THE OLD DAYS
When HRO was still writing only about us, the alternative population.
I just want to have a place where I can escape from my high school problems and where people get me.
I live in a midwestern suburbia, but someday [via the strokes] i will move to the city, but till den i need to keep myself ‘inside’ what’s alt. like for example: the strokes are not alt since 2k2, getdat.
so Carles, please, begging u, write more about ALT stuff.
I miss the old days of HRO. When 83% of the cmmnts were:
POST M0RE _______________
:(
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//////////Reply by до свидания
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
@HRO’s PRINCESS, f33l ur pain butt by studying mnstrmrs we can reach higher lvls by reverse engineering/commidifying/ironing their culture + fashion. they also teach us “wut not 2 wear”/”wut trends r dead”. ‘w/out the mnstrmr there is no alt’.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 4:17 pm
@до свидания, lol
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//////////Reply by до свидания
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@SilverTell, r u lolin @ me or w/ me? TIA
//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
@HRO’s PRINCESS, d00d, there r cities in the midwest [via chicago/denver/omaha] that can help u get alt. convince ur dad 2 move there, or commute from the suburbs. THERE R WAIZ 2 STOP THE CYCLE.
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 6:34 pm
@HRO’s PRINCESS, the strokes were nvr alt.
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can we get in contact with this bro and get his take on this? do u think he’ll ‘get’ our humour, or hate us for dropping fggt-bombs (via his mainstream conceptualization of the term)?
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complete FGGT
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waatt hes so hot dont care if hes bro or not
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have to be stick thin to wear a tank top and not look bro (via bradford cox)
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puuuure bro – he’s about to get ‘faded’ with his friend chad and let him suck his dick
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Douchebro ex-highschool football player (probably a third team kicker or something but still) striving for altness and failing brilliantly. Look for him at upcoming concerts by the Animal Collectives (who have recently replaced KoRn and or the Dave Matthews band as his favorite musical artists). Also, probably resembles the typical HRO reader.
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 6:33 pm
@Gin Geanie, i don’t get how his ‘position’ is relevant except in that you are a ‘fggt’ for ‘giving a shit’ about it. this bro listens to bands that ‘don’t even exist yet.’
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bro because in his left hand looks like a normal phone
alts only believe in the conceptual use of iphones to do blow off of.
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He’s an alt. While a muscle tee would normally suggest alpha-bro, the tee itself is ironically exaggerated in both length of drapery around the chest and thinness in straps to suggest that he is indeed satirizing the “Bro” / Alpha high school male persona.
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This tennis player is actually my brother. To begin – he only drinks lemonade he makes himself. He borrows my grandmas’ sweaters. He plays super nintendo with our little baby brother. he does like fat girls; who doesn’t they’re the best people ever. danced on stage when Girl Talk played Coachella. then walked off with a new boo. she was from san francisco. then she bought him some pizza which he didn’t eat. in this photo he’s about to step into one of la’s secret vintage shops. the owners have no clue that their items are way under priced. like we ever mention anything. totally watches Fresh Prince, 90210, Martin, Ducktales… someone give this puppy walker a hamburger. he won’t eat it. get this he’s a store manager at……
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This is a gimmick.
This is more than a gimmick.
This is a competition for lols.
This is a commentary on our society.
This is a space to get vulnerable.
This is a space to find meaning.
This is a space to discover urself.
This is a space to define alt and bro, alt and mnstrm,
This is HRO. U’ll nvr b alone again.
I really enjoyed reading evry1’s cmmnts. They meant alot 2 me. As a 16yr old trapped in suburbia, I found the cmmnts insightful 2 who u r///2 who i am///2 who we r. I’m not ready to win the lol competition. This is 2k9 not 2k8. We need 2 get vulnerable 2gether. We need each other more than ever in this tough memeconomy.
jpegbro is Mona Lisa.
CRLS is Leonardo da Vinci.
We don’t know if jpegbro is alt, bro, or altbro.
We project our lives onto the pixels.
We project our lives onto the pixels.
Maybe he’s
gheyoki,
bromo,
fggtcore.
Maybe he’s
vice-altbro.
or secretary of meaningful-core.
We project our lives onto the pixels.
Maybe he’s
jobro,
tween soap star,
v card thief.
Projection/rejection
Maybe he’s
conceptual artist,
pixel pusher,
CRLS.
Projection/rejection.
As an omniscient 16yr listening to hypemachine, I will TELL u what we know. He isn’t alphamuscular bro. His unflexed muscles are 2 small 2 b alphamuscular bro. His ironic DIY t-shirt might not be his, his idea, or his doing but he is wearing it. He is also wearing some skinnys, a fanny pack, a dandelion, a stuffed gerbil. The picture was taken while his lid was not in standard bro placements. Without knowing what was on his cap/lid, it’s impossible 2 know if he is alt or bro.
I project that he got his skinnys from Hot Topic, his New Era 59FIFTY online, and the fanny pack from TS (thrift store). You can’t see it but jpegbro has a sk8board near his sneaks. He isn’t a sneaker freaker. The dandelion, the stuffed gerbil, the DIY tee were all the ideas of the altbaguette photog with the lookbook account. She is 16 and she wants jpegbro.
Projecting onto the pixels u’ve seen my soul.
jpegbro is context collapse.
jpegbro is Mona Lisa.
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 6:05 pm
@SilverTell, ur probz the new crls, we should stop reading hro and start reading u. srsly tho.
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//////////Reply by cp
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
@SilverTell, :O
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//////////Reply by cp
//////////Posted March 3rd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
@cp, [via <3]
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//////////Reply by Citizen Science
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 12:42 am
@SilverTell,
Woa, there fella. You’re liable to blow a couple of minds with talk like that.
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//////////Reply by anony69
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 5:22 am
@SilverTell,
<3 u
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he is just a lil cac boy [via ken kaniff eminem skits]
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this bro transcends categoriz8n. he made his own shirt, tr00ly alt, but has a bullring nose piercing. the fanny-pack is an attempt at altness.
he hangs with trappedinsuburbiabro, who is clearly a fggt, but since their altness transcends homophobic norms, they are simultaneously two of the ‘most’ ‘popular’ ‘bros’ at their ‘high school’ while also ‘not giving a shit about anything’ and being ‘over it.’
his hat now is probably something not-alt, but when he gets into NYU and moves to town it will become a Los Angeles Kings (this is post-Dodgersalt) flat-brim cap.
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muscles=bro. (period)
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he’s an authentic bro he might be a jock but oh well he’s probs funnier than you
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Prolly used to be a jock but then had a meaningful, self-defining experience and can now embrace his newfound altness in the most authentic, appreciative way.
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He’s a bro fro sho but it looks like he dressed up as an alt for halloween,, but failed epic style.
He’s a failbro y’all
want my cd carles!
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I don’t care what he is, he’s fucken hot.
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EW! BRO! Think I saw him at the Mickey Avalon show in Australia. Worst show ever bc it was overrun by the worst bros ever.
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fucking homo
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he prolly likes it in the butt but doesnt know it yet, id do him if he were my student
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//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
@littlesparrow, thats so wrong.
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Bro… incontrovertible evidence via bro flow not quite concealed by zany hat
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how about d-bag…
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arite the point of alt or bro is that you MUST pick one. i pick alt. look at those pants! they signify commitment to the altCom, the alternative community.
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this guy is a douche bag no doubt about!
bishop amat high school is a private catholic school in the los angeles county in Cali. its for rich kids who all do drugs and show up to school like lil FAKE ANGELS! it makes you wanna vomit! trust me…if u knew these rich kids u would vomit too….
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failpost
clearly a bro, no question
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who the fuck cares i wanna squirt in his mouf
anyone who disses this kid is clearly jelly of his superior genetics
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Heavy Metal Parking Lot recreashun, alt for trying hard
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y’all…… without straightened hair& a condescending glare, he’s just a nipslip bro
http://lookbook.nu/look/31286-sad-face
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u can buy fanny packs in the men’s section of target now
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I say this guy is a post-bloghouse-douchebro-sk8-ghey-HRO-copying dude. Oh no. I mean.. you are.
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Def a regular bro making an effort to be hip. We have a lot of this specimen at my high school. they call themselves shred. but this is just a coverup for their desire to drink Bud light on the weekend and hump skanks. but they’re cool because they wear funky shirts and tight pants that make their butts look really fucking weird.
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i want tits like him! h8 my flat chest (via body image issues)
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fggt bro
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that is the Zach Efron Prototype, before we perfected the ultimate tween crush.
we sent him to take out the Zach you all know, as he has gone AWOL in a colonel Kurtz fashion (Apocalypse Now/Heart of darkness reference)
this happened, we believe, due to excess hairspray inhalation.
the only reason its hat is at that awkward angle is to conceal the matrix-like port on the back of his head.
and his nips are showing because every 30 minutes they squirt excess botox from his “firm” pecs.
the fanny pack contains classified instructions to be opened upon finding the Zach.
if you see him, wish him well in his mission.
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my initial response was definitely a bro (via high school football shirt). However, upon further inspection it can be noticed that the shirt is from 1998. All the cars in the parking lot are of a new-ish style. This means his shirt is not like that because he just left the gym. He just left home (via fanny pack). We have an alt.
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//////////Reply by /// josé speaks: ///
//////////Posted March 5th, 2009 at 6:00 am
@human or dancer?,
Id have 2 say that we have here 1 of the greatest AltBro mixes that HRO has discovered in quite some time.
Agree with ur exploration of the FannyPack. Definitely demonstrates the alt qualities that this Brotween is trying 2 express.
My final verdict: Alt+Twink+BroBaby.
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bro phased tween. because he looks buff but i reckon my lanky body would still beat on him… y’all.
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im not sure about you, but my dicks hard over this guy. DO WANT
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these comments reek of self-awareism and its starting to really scare me. we’re all doomed to unhappiness until china attacks.
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this game was better when it was called hipster/or/gay
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Stealth Gibroni
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defs alt
no bro is comfie nuf to fanny packet
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HOT. AND MAKING MY DICK HARD.
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hez n alt cuz he lukz like a fag
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you guys are all idiotic and mindless for trying to judge this person based on just his appearance. worthless, ignorant hipster scum!
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my goal in life it to be caught in an alt or bro contest.
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This place has some nice fitted hats!
http://craniumfitteds.com
I got 15% when I bought 2 items from them using code: VIP
I just got my package recently and I wanna show them love back!!
Support these guys – they are official, ya heard me!
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