I was watching a movie preview about a movie that I really want 2 see. Sometimes I wonder what my ideal life would be like if some1 portrayed it on ‘the silver screen’, and which actors would play me + my parents + my friends + my GF. I don’t take life very seriously, so I know that the background music in my movie would be 60% ‘quirkily meaningful’ sounding.
My interactions with ppl are pretty unique. Kinda feel like every1 in my life is a character from the Royal Tenenbaums, except that Gene Hackman would be too authentic for my script so we would have 2 select our 10th choice to play the patriarch–John Goodman. Want to ‘make love’ to an insecure zany girl who comes across as having been ‘quirkily sexually abused’ like Zooey Gibbard-Deschanel in this movie. Want to be a humbleBro like Paul Dano, who does something trivial for a living, but has a quest to do something meaningful, like buy an AZN baby. Wish my life was a series of quirkisms/ zanisms / series of whimsical interactions with ppl who are caricatures of any1 resembling some1 ‘normal.’
Does n e 1 else think that this movie will ‘win an Oscar’ or will it just be ‘another shitty movie on HBO’ kind of like Juno: The Pregnant Snarky Teen?
Do yall think that Paul Dano ‘tries 2 hard’ and ‘isn’t THAT talented’?
Sometimes I wonder about the ’self-concepts’ of ppl who write these kinds of movies. Do they really ’see the world’ this way? Ultimately, they are writing about their own life since ppl can’t see outside of themselves, but are they just so insecure that they ‘have to make things seem zany, meaningful, quirky, and interesting’? Would feel kinda bad if I wrote a movie about my life and made every one seem like a ‘walking turd that pooped out lil quirkisms out of their mouth at every opportunity.’ Not sure if my family would ‘think I was sane.’ Guess it wouldn’t be interesting to write a movie about family that goes 2 Chili’s/Olive Garden / TGIFriday’s /etc.
Seen n e 1 good alt movies lately?
R u upset that the Bollywood movie won all of the American Awards at the OscarGrammys?
R u glad that the Ghey Rights movie won a bunch of Oscars?
Is Nappy Dynamite the most relevant movie of the century?
Should I see the quirky romcom (romantic comedy) with the Flight Of the Conchords bro?
Have yall ever ’suicide bombed’ a movie theatre that was showing a movie that u didn’t support? (Think straight ppl did this during Brokeback).
Which alt actor/actress would play U in an altmovie?
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IAmCarles.com
33 Comments
first?
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//////////Reply by submasheen
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@submasheen, first!
but also, yes: “Wish my life was a series of quirkisms/ zanisms / series of whimsical interactions with ppl who are caricatures of any1 resembling some1 ‘normal.’”
…my feelings exacto
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3rdz?
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^fags
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//////////Reply by Carters
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
@anonymous, ur fag2.0
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//////////Reply by submasheen
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 5:07 pm
@anonymous, thoonx man
yous too!
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word.
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Single most authentic human: half blipster/half AZN Zooey Deschanel look alike.
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//////////Reply by Super Awesome Guy
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 am
@Ditterbop, I would have sex with that.
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Omg that’s Crls, he’s finally buying his azn
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Anything with john goodman voice in works for me. his deep gruff egnites a kind of retrospective ignsight within myself that conjoins with my alt outlook on modern society. his dynamic social commentry is so elite that it makes me implode in a kind of conbustial brospasm that i can only describe as the orgasms i used to have as a 13 yr old roseanne fan. i liked superbowl also but madden is a knockoff john goodman so i wasnt really about that whole scene rtight there, but back to the point: this movie looks like utter garbage that i would recommend to all the non scene fggts that congrgte at my awesome crib palace every tuesday for shock theropy (i play them all the new soundz). if it had ed norton in it and christian slater it would be the movie of the year for sure, easily and i knw we r only 2 months in but i can call it coz im sultrascene.
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//////////Reply by soren.
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
@Carters, …
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Fuck you, Carles.
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this movie looks just like my life. i always begged my parents to adopt a lil cute azn who i could for into an alt and marry when she turns 18 (via woody allen).
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//////////Reply by Carters
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 5:38 pm
@anonononono, adopt steve aoki.
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yesyesyes,
A conventional aesthetic of “quirkiness” and “zaniness” has been in American film prolly since Mike Nichols made The Gradu8.
Then it got deeper during 80’s and 90’s indies, Coen Bros (Will Hal Hartley win an Oscar in 2k12?)
It all got more entrenched via 2ks major indie films like Wes Anny, Nappy D., Garden St8 and Lil’ Miss Eternal Sunshine.
It’s all so jank.
I wanna see the Carlos Perez family eating at Chili’s in San Antonio.
One of the best ‘commodification of alt culture movies evar is The Target Shoots First. You should see it, Carles…I think you’d like it.
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//////////Reply by aaa
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 8:19 pm
@wiRgo, <3 target shoots first. wish the events of the film never happened so being a 90s era slacker was still cool. guess im just going to have to wait a couple more years before its back again… i miss grunge and sitting in front of a tv ironically.
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//////////Reply by wiRgo
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@aaa, me too, aaa, but we laid some serious groundwork…
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Zooey Deschanel was in a g00d movie in sundance… and that zany guy from “the office” directed a movie my zany suicidealtwriter David Foster Wallace (it was good 2).
But sometimes i think that documentaries are probably the most meaningful indie films there are. that french guy was so authentic/vulnerable in “man on wire.” I wish i could walk on wires. Or eat 4000 hambys [via Super Size Me] or get attacked by bikers at a mnstrm show [via Gimme Shelter] or be really really long [via Werner Herzog]. I just wanna get vulny in front of a cameraman, then go 2 Park City/Toronto and chill.
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BEST ALT MOVIE IS YOU ME AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW…OR WHATEVER.
OH AND BULLY.
I WISH I COULD MARRY RACHEL MINER
OR BIJOU PHILLIPS
OR KATY DESCHANNEL
OR KAT DENNINGS
OR THAT JUNO HOE
OR CHUBBY CHRISTINA RICCI
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BEST ALT MOVIE IS YOU ME AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW…OR WHATEVER.
OH AND BULLY.
I WISH I COULD MARRY RACHEL MINER
OR BIJOU PHILLIPS
OR KATY DESCHANNEL
OR KAT DENNINGS
OR THAT JUNO HOE
OR CHUBBY CHRISTINA RICCI FROM THE MOVIE PECKER
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//////////Reply by Carters
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
@LOL, stfu already u posted twice nw i have lost 1 min of life
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haxster was nvr this insightful
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if myALTesquelife was portrayed in film id half to say it would be remarkably like cool runnings
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@crls but who would play You in a movie?
cliche, yall, but i want to make beautiful&real movies
is that even possible anymore?
can you make movies w/o putting your own life into it?
will my famz feel bad when they notice that my chrctrs are based on them?
shxt, feel like i’m asking as many questions as the BloggerHimself
forgive me, yall
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I had this thought once, when i was a dozen sparks “in”.
I got rlly great idea and I said it aloud to one of my chillest bros “We should make a HRO movie, brah”. That bro is kinda zany so he bought the idea real immediately and said he’ll help write the scriptplayer.
Then sparks sorta died on us :-(
and we went into a permanent “writer’s block” like the x-file bro from the californiasurfication television program.
the message of this story, yall is that creativity just as sparks wont be “forever young” :-(
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YES SEE THE QUIRKY ROMCOM it’s real cute and sort of makes you want to fall in love.
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h8 that actress
isnt she the same 1 from Weeds, that annoying canadian girl all gipsy psycho and shit?
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//////////Reply by Carters
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
@joel is a fggt, no thats u, ur in weeds
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lol @quirkily sexually abused
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//////////Reply by el fggt
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
@andrew,
tahts not funny -i- was quirkly sexxualy aboused.
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//////////Reply by Carters
//////////Posted March 1st, 2009 at 7:59 pm
@el fggt, u was quirkily aroused by sean penn in this movie?
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this form of comedy is no longer authentic. anything that becomes a genre is no longer authentic. the wes anderson/lil miss sunshine/juno genre is played out.
charlie kaufman films are still meaningful.
todd solondz films are still meaningful.
tim and eric are post-meaningful.
h8 comedies that are marketable.
<3 comedies that are proto-future genres (like rushmore when we were tweens)
miss not thinking so much :(
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yall, s0 pumped on gigantic. AnCo is on the soundtrack!! s0 attc.
ne alt_keutEs wanna see it with me?? we could “get lifted” b4
<3 teh world
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That movie is trying way too hard.
Alt chicks that ask you if you’re thinking about fucking them are never worth liking-liking. But they usually fuck well.
I wear John-Goodman-in-Gigantic eyeglasses [via Woody Allen] post-ironically. That just means they are prescription lenses.
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Rachel Getting Married is about killing your brother and then getting out of rehab while your sister (named Rachel) has an Indian themed altWedding. One AZNbro wears pink wayfarers to protect his soul. Best altMovie of the post-Sparks era?
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damn carles, youve been saying forever about adopting an azn .they stole your idea
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Carles, your family @ Olive Garden movie idea is totally financially and artistically viable. Olive Garden commercials are already sort of mini-movies of quirky ppl (mostly beotchy housewives) hanging out at TGIOG, sitting around a table, charmingly arguing about “sharing” their fettuccini (metaphor for getting vulnerable) and being quirkily cheap by only getting the soup + breadstix combo. Let me know if u need help with the screenplay!!
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Anybody notice how badly they’re ripping off the Little Miss Sunshine theme by Devotchka?
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//////////Reply by avid_ajaxx
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am
@paul, *DeVotchKa*
n00b_fggt
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moar a capella!
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WTF with the new advertisers? where’s AmAppy? this blog will lose relevancy if it’s nor endorsed by AmAp. And what’s with the banner bellow that appears on top of the page
SRSLY, CARLES… this is so the internet in the 90s
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wow Carles. if u are gonna steal someone’s gimmick, you should at least directly make fun of them, so that they get cred for it.
“Kinda feel like every1 in my life is a character from the Royal Tenenbaums,…Want to ‘make love’ to an insecure zany girl who comes across as having been ‘quirkily sexually abused’ like Zooey Gibbard-Deschanel in this movie.
http://doeshoustonhaveasoul.blogspot.com/2008/12/beak-2.html
the fact that you steal from a girl’s blog about Houston makes me think New York really is dying.
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that chick looks like Katy Perries.. fckd up!
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eddie murphy would play not only me but all my friends and family in whiteface and fatsuits, hilarity would ensue
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Honey, how’s the job search going?
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