Chasing her up the hill
She turned around and I thought she looked beautiful
& I took a picture of u & U took a picture of me
& that moment was captured forever
& it’s the only memory of her that remains
[Img via lookbook]
& I took a picture of u & U took a picture of me
A Short Story by Carles (based on real events)
////////////////////////////////////////////////
It was the summer that I lost my virginity. We went away to the coast for 2 months, my parents forcing me to leave my desktop computer at home. Back then, we didn’t have laptops and wireless internet–just dialup. But still, that made it even more meaningful since I was a tween, and I used America Online–not just the instant messenger client [via iChat]. It was the longest I had ever gone without using the internet since I was born.
Her name was Sarah. Her family was staying in a condo down the beach–a little bit nicer than the condo that me & and my parents were going to be in. It took us 2 weeks before we said hello to one another. Playing hide and seek in the hills, chasing one another around the sand dunes. It was the last days of our youth, and we were about to become man and woman. They say you haven’t lived life until you have love. And some even say until you have loved AND lost.
One night we snuck out and built a campfire along the shorelines. I brought a boombox and played Incubus and Sigur Ros’s hit album “()”. We talked about who we wanted to be and what we wanted to do–I wanted to be in an a band and she wanted to make short films. The night seemed to last forever–we had stolen a bottle of Boone’s Farm Wine, and eventually got so buzzed that there was no distinction between what was ‘meaningful’ and what was ‘idealistic tween banter.’
We went back to her room. She took off her clothes. I looked at her. I loved her. I felt her. I loved her. I felt her. She took off my clothes. I felt like I was in a French film about misfits who are ‘coming of age.’ She was beautiful. She made me feel beautiful. This was making love. This was not just two horny teens losing their virginity. This was my summer without AOL. We made love. We held one another. We cried and laughed. We came and we grew. We came and we knew. If I had a camera, I would have snapped her photo because her face was warm with love.
The sun started to come up. I told her that I loved her. Sunrise on her eyes glaring against her skin beautiful she was mine forever in that moment with the sea mist in the air with our aroma of love and teenjuice.
I snuck back into my condo. I fell asleep feeling complete for the first and only time in my life. I woke up 1 hour later since it was time for breakfast.
The next day, she was gone. I found a note on her window that was for me. Her dad had to go back to the city because of an emergency at his company. She left her phone number at the bottom of a Polaroid picture that she took, but the number had been smudged. All I had left was this memory on film.
& I took a picture of u & U took a picture of me
& if we had known that this was going to be our lasting memory
We would have done it all the same
We would have done it all differently
To this day, I use the internet to try to find her. Match.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, google.com–whatever sites have people on them and allow you to search for people. One day I will find her. Her name was Sarah. She was my princess. She was my queen. She was my first. To this day, she is my definition of ‘perfect love’ and I have never treated a woman with such respect because no woman compares to my romanticized recollection of that summer.
& I Took a Picture of U & U Took a Picture of Me
This has been an excerpt from Carles’ upcoming novel The Tween Chronicles–A Search for Meaning. Please let Carles know if you have more story suggestions for the upcoming compilation book Chicken Soup for the Alternative Soul.
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
46 Comments
dear crls
ur such a good writer
i ttly felt like i was doin it with her
ill buy ur book
Reply
//////////Reply by danteller
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
@louis,
this makes me feel so vulnerable
wish my life was that alt
miss tween years
<3 y’all
Reply
First.
Reply
goddamnit carles
Reply
you really make me despise lookbook
Reply
//////////Reply by dax jax
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
@anonymous, Me too. I think that’s the point.
Great one, Carles.
Reply
You could have at least included an alt butt somewhere in that post
Reply
so beautiful. have u met alt-writer @tao_lin? He’d like this.
http://heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com/
Reply
//////////Reply by White Blipster
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@Gurkman, Ummm Bro?
Reply
//////////Reply by lawlcatz
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 9:02 am
@Gurkman, HAHAHAHAHHA
Reply
nice story bro
AOL was mad slow
Reply
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v12/Tmac2104/wmcskeet.jpg
whats that about carles??? u gonna be there?
Reply
//////////Reply by kill' em all
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
@trying2findmyself, yeah seriously. and on that note, carles, you should talk about this kid fraNKI chan. hes a lil tiny fggt asking to take it in the butt hard from MR>HRO.
Reply
//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
@kill’ em all,
gnome fggt
Reply
//////////Reply by INDIEface
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
@trying2findmyself,
Looks like Carles supports ELECTRO REBIRTH.
Reply
thx 4 makin me cry, crls.
i will never lose my virginity. and even if i do there is no way it could ever be as beautiful and romantic as yours was with sarah.
Reply
//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 4:14 pm
@:(, yah, there is so reason 2 hav seckz b/c it is 2 mnstrm nao and crls has already done it best. we should all be #celibate [via The Morrisseys b4 they sucked]
Reply
Totally authentic way to lose it CRLS, what a heart wrenching tale.
Reply
“I have never treated a woman with such respect because no woman compares to my romanticized recollection of that summer”
Brilliant!
Reply
dear carles,
follow me on twitter so i can either @ you or DM you.
http://www.twitter.com/tayphillips
thanks in advance,
taylor.
Reply
//////////Reply by hey taylor
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
@taylor, ur a FGGT.
Reply
//////////Reply by taylor
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@hey taylor,
thx.
Reply
let’s be real — “She” was a “He” carles.
Reply
//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@Brendan, probs not, i think he was probably buttsexing @ like 8, but didn’t ‘cum on a woman’ until much later.
Reply
//////////Reply by dax jax
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
@Brendan, Hehe, I was thinking that, but I didn’t want to say it out loud!
Reply
ur story is like a ‘modern version’ of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
‘A Portrait of the Artist as a Tween Blogger’
Reply
cool story bro… flowed well so kept my attention… internet ruined my attention span
Reply
listenning to Bon Iver while reading your post [via crying]
Reply
//////////Reply by bon iver
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 6:43 pm
@wrdrb, hahahaha
Reply
deeply moving, can’t wait to read the rest
i had the same story but in the middle of a meaningful war, in Gaza or in Grozny i don’t remember, and then he got shot by the villains
Reply
WANT TO CYBER?
U GOT ME RLLY HOT
Reply
wish you could love again
Reply
no this is untrue. what happened was she put her fancy dig cam on a tripod, got her mommy’s old analog cam that doesnt work and took da picture.
so i think ur story shouldnt go into chikin soup
Reply
is romance now authentically alt? just trying to stay real
Reply
such a tuching story carles. very kute.
Reply
Lol hey crls its me sarah wts up?
fancy seein y’all here
I’d had sex with lots of guyz before y’all
was still cool tho x
Reply
does this poem kind of remind ne 1 else of “The Moon” by Microphone (9.4 p4k rtng)? just two tweens letting each other ‘in’.
Reply
pretty freakin sweet. you have redeemed yourself
Reply
excellence, but coulda least posted this infamous smudged polaroids of yours …
Reply
//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@anony mouse, it’s probably covered in semen/tears nao, u don’t wanna c it.
Reply
//////////Reply by Dee
//////////Posted March 2nd, 2009 at 6:51 pm
@Gurkman, it would be perfect.
Reply
Best post ever man.
Reply
luv2luv
luv2sex
luv2teen
luv2gardenstate
Reply
now i understand even more crls’ bittersweet luv 4 tweens
it resides back then
miss & <3 my tween era
Reply
Pics or it didn’t happen
Reply
“an a band” ftw
Reply
crls,
keut story, bt i think u’ve stolen the concept of ‘putting something ‘deep’ and ’serious” between several posts of ‘generic banter’ on ur ‘blog’ as a means of ‘eliciting emotional reaction frm ur audience’ [via feelings/empathy] frm the way the popular webcomic the xkdcs does smthng similar bt w/drawings & math.
Miss u hacksterrunoff.
Reply
This post was meaningful.
Reply
brilliant
Reply
i dont remember loosin my vcard. i remember wakin up naked on a hardwood floor.
Reply
MOAR STORIES LIKE THESE, S’IL VOUS PLAIT
Reply
i can’t read, but this was a good post
Reply
Hello Crls
I have a question 4 u. When will u write abt the hit opensource movie abt the remix economie ‘RiP: A remix manifesto’ featuring the hit mashup band ‘The Girl Talks’.
Can’t believe u haven’t written anything abt it.
h8 u
miss u
<3 u
Reply
cried and cummed
thank u carlos
Reply
Thanks for mocking the shit out of these kids.
<3 pretentiousness
Reply
Heartbreaking tale bro, and made feel ”infinite” and ”romantic” while listening to The Cocteau Tweens.
Reply
if u dont <3 lookbook then ur a shallow jerkface. these kids r more beautiful then ull ever be.
CARLES THIS POST SPOKE 2 ME BCUZ OF MY SIMILAR LIFE EXPERIENCES/EMOTIONAL TENDENCIES/FANTASIES/_______. THEREFORE I ENJOYED READING IT + COMMENTING ABOUT IT.
<3 lookbook/H8 virginity/miss bein :)
Reply
//////////Reply by anomorph
//////////Posted March 4th, 2009 at 9:24 am
@до свидания, nah the dude just fucked and left you, there was no romance/mystery
Reply
trembling luv mking [via cruel intentions]
“are you okay???”
Reply
this made my week
Reply
Dear Carles,
I thought that what we had was meaningful and relevant but when you didn’t call I realised that true love was just a load of bullshit. I became jaded and cynical. I spent two years in a k hole listening to Peaches and sleeping with random bros.
I don’t think we can ever recapture that summer. I was a different person then,
Sarah
p.s. I still get moist everytime I listen to Olsen Olsen
Reply
how was her twat/tits?
Reply