I wish they had cell phones/text messages/digital cameras when I was a teen/tween.
I wish my girlfriend had parents whose parents weren’t around often, and didn’t really ‘keep her in line.’
I wish I could have pressured her into sending me naked and/or sexually suggestive pix from her camera phone.
I wish I could have lost my virginity at an absurdly young age.
I wish I could have learned that women were ‘objects that make u cum’ during my formative sexual years.
I wish I had an unlimited text and data plan as a kid.
I wish I had a girlfriend who had a webcam who would ‘get naked’ when I was a tween.
I wish I had invented the term ‘jk’ kinda like how Donald Trump invented the term ‘you’re fired, yall!’
I wish I could be a tween again
an idea of sex that was so pure, innocent and raw
hard penis and wet vaginas
Ready to make a mistake
that we might not have been emotionally ready for
in the name of ‘love’
back before people grew up and their feelings
because ’so real’ and ‘crushable’
Want to pressure my tweenage girlfriend
into sending me a picture of her still-developing B-cups
Forward that text to my bro
who betrays me
and my GF’s titties end up
all over the skewl
having ‘gone viral’ in a limited environment
While her ‘image’ kinda took a hit
It also made her seem like a sexier slut
who was ‘down to fuck’
and ultimately made her more popular
kinda like how sex tapes
boosted the careers of Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and the guy who played Screech
If I could be a tween again
I would do a lot of things differently
cuz of all the bad ass technology.
Previous wishing I could be a tween again
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/i-wish-they-had-macbooks-when-i-was-a-tween-new-hro-gimmick.html
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IAmCarles.com
24 Comments
fuh-huuurst
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted March 31st, 2009 at 11:43 pm
@cp, second
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Book deal.
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H8 k kardashian.
H8ed it moar wen my tween boyfrend pressured me into having intercourse with him.
no = yes.
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Don’t fret carles, you may not be a tween anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go out there and sexually harass some tweenage gurlz now. Live the dream!
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i had sex as a tween (2 days after my 10th birthday to be exact) and now im fat.
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This was fucking amazing
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those prose-bros kerouac and ginsberg would be proud, carles. kinda weird how technology opens the floodgates for s-experimentation via sluts with cameras. does that make sex less authentic??
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wat color is the devil?????????????????????
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//////////Reply by Marsha
//////////Posted March 31st, 2009 at 10:10 pm
@alex, whatever color you want me to be, baby ;)
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//////////Reply by Hung Fa Lo
//////////Posted March 31st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
@alex, hell is black & white.
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//////////Reply by Zakawee
//////////Posted March 31st, 2009 at 11:13 pm
@Hung Fa Lo, nah, just blacks.
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//////////Reply by Hung Fa Lo
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:01 am
@Zakawee, HRO = Stuff White People Hate
//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 6:00 am
@alex, white
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i dnt have much time but hackbros r taking over today crls
if u have a macxbook u shud be safe
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//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 5:54 am
@louis, I’m kind of glad I skipped reading HRO that year.
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u r a poop that eats a butt. zomg i dont kno why i am telling u this.
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carles if i give you my number will you send me texts like the bro in this video plz?
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typo in the headline “I wish there WERE more ways…etc”.
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//////////Reply by Anony
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 5:58 am
@Lieb, I think you fucked this up gramaticly as well carles:
because ’so real’ and ‘crushable’
I had to point this out becuase I’m too stupid to understand what you meant. Actually I understood perfectly but I “get off” on correcting people on the interwebs.
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pork those tween holes
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true tat.
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“I wish my girlfriend had parents whose parents weren’t around often”…as in her grandparents? hawt.
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fav post
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im getting ready to fuck a late tween (early teen) i’ll let you know how it goes
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post needed less clothes and more dancing imo
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<3 “having ‘gone viral’ in a limited environment”
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h8 comic sans. move back 2 helvetica. or maybe gotham. futura?
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I wish I could have learned that women were ‘objects that make u cum’ during my formative sexual years 2… :(
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thatsnotcool.com
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how easy some people adandon established social morality codes and follow the leader.
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ummz u should play ur nostalgic my bloody valentine, loveless album. that will get her in bed. duh.
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