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My bro got too drunk.
Photo by Last Night's Party


It was a night out with the bros. Everything was going really bro-like. We had even picked up a subGroup of bros to merge into an all out bro-pack. Spirits were bro-ish as the night progressed. We were more than just bros--tonight was a rare night where I was able to experience true brohood. I was just being a bro, grinding up on bitches and making hand signals to my bros about how 'jacked up' I was to be alive/at a bro-friendly club.

But then one of my bros got too bro. He drank so many shots/jaeger bombs that you would think he thought he could be bros with an alcoholic beverage. Things got way too bro way too fast. There were some nonbros there who were actually in their own bro-ternity who were acting unbrolike to our BroGroup. Needless to say, things got really unBro really fast.

All because my bro had to get all broed out.
Shit, bro.

My bro kept drinking, making all of us bros uneasy. I'm just like any other bro--all about having a good time with as many bros as possible. However, when a bro gets behind the wheel after too many drinks, he's endangering his innerBro, as well as unknown bros on the streets. Bros don't let bros get behind the wheel after too many bro-juices.

We tried to get my bro to give up his keys. He wasn't very bro-ceptive to that idea. He had a very unbroistic meltdown, but eventually his body went dead. We did what any true bros would do. We came together as bros to use our brains and brawn to carry our bro to safety.

Overall, the night was pretty bro on many levels. Bro-like times with my best bros. Sometimes when you think you might not be a bro, something bro inside of u teaches u that without bros ur nothing, and everything is bro. You, bro, and every bro we know.

WWBD?
What would Bro Do?
This is what it means to be a bro.

Comments

ballskin's picture

fist

ES's picture

Brawn not braun.

d's picture

this describes like 80% of my college.

xavier's picture

@d, shiit, its more like 80% of the U.S.

alternativeprincess's picture

@xavier,

and the other 19% are still st00pid mainstreamers, only "not exactly bros".

college suck,
even some of the most progressive LiberalAlt ones :-(

brian's picture

I liked this post better when it was on the onion like a year ago.

sry crls

lame's picture

I think you are referring to this:

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/bro_youre_a_god_among_bros

which is a perfect example of someone properly executing an idea, rather than just slamming their face against the keyboard like carles does.

Anonymous's picture

@lame, if i had to pick you or carles to get out of a fire, i'd pick carles

"1st comment" german's picture

first comment

Vexster's picture

@"1st comment" german,
1st comment fail again! What the fuck is wrong with u Germans and failing to do shyt!?

paul's picture

I think I've got you figured out bro. you're like one of those bro's who used to be an altbro but got all conceptualcore but then figured out that being an altbro was kind of ideal because of the ability to do lines off of titties and drink sparks all day. When it comes down to it you're really one of the balding bros that was a bro before an altbro and wants to just be a kid ready to kill for bloglove. I dig it man...

KatiKim's picture

Too Good!

les savy travis's picture

BRO.

younity's picture

other than the typo, this is a great post.

natalee hologram's picture

@younity, <3 ur attention 2 detail!

stvspl's picture

just wanna be brogressive

dogworld's picture

youve done better carles

perezhilton's picture

even after all the utter shit you've blogged about before (<3) this is the defining moment/post where your blog an heroed. jumped the shark braw

l33lj03's picture

this is so true bro, what being true i don't know. i just wanted to be a br0, bro!

corydan's picture

miss u drunk talkative bro

Nick's picture

this post was vexing yet sexy.

Dave Rawkblog's picture

The Onion already wrote this one, bro.

daffy's picture

@Dave Rawkblog, the onion is 4 maltbags

Dieselman's picture

Do you think you can get the thumbs up thumbs down rating system on comments on this site?

DJNJB's picture

This reads like a Mad Lib where every answer was filled out 'bro'

dafe's picture

@DJNJB, seriously. all 41 spots.

smichael's picture

YOU BRO AND EVERY BRO WE KNOWYOU BRO AND EVERY BRO WE KNOW
YOU BRO AND EVERY BRO WE KNOW
YOU BRO AND EVERY BRO WE KNOW
YOU BRO AND EVERY BRO WE KNOW

Jeff Stryker's picture

ur such a bromo

LOVE YOU GUYS!'s picture

I love YOU.
I have the most amazing outlook on life at the moment. I'm getting a tattoo soon to remind me how lucky i am for everything i've got, and to remind me to be a better person. I guess i've realised under everything, skin colour, fat, skin, we are all made of skeleton. Therefore how we look really doesn't matter because ultimately we are all the same. I guess some people are luckier for their looks than others. A man came into my work yesterday, his whole body had been burnt, he barely had hands or a face and i felt sorry for him. But he still has a skeleton and so do i. And so do you. So he is still a person with feelings. The world is a beautiful place huh. It's just that alot of people don't think it is. I wish so badly i could share these thoughts with you everyday, but i know i will get too soon. You are my very best friend and i'm so lucky to have you ! The way we met is so different but our friendship is way past that. I will always, always there for you and will always have your back, and i hope you will do the same for me.
You are beautiful ! Inside and out, and you have the most beautiful heart ever.
xoxo

mattattaxx's picture

@LOVE YOU GUYS!, lol no we're ugly u shuld prbly get a vomit tattoo to reflect this

altsis's picture

straight ballin'. totally bromax

Alf In Yo Mouf . com's picture

When I've been dragged out, it's been by my arms. My bros don't care about hurting my drunk ass.

HOLLY's picture

WAIT ...CHARLES, IS THIS THE BRO VERSION OF GNO???? IF NOT, PLEASE WRITE THE BNO (BROS NIGHT OUT) FROM BEGINING TO END

ha's picture

weak post

plop's picture

BRO-O-METER reached 49 BRO'S in that blog!

tRONBO's picture

I am the bro. I am the uber bro. I d.fine brodom. I am so fucking jacked and tan, I drink til I drop, I snort til I bleed, I grind all over bitches when I'm at parties, clubs, on the train, at the gym, in the kitchen, the bedroom, living room, porch, basement; anywhere where you can grind on pussy, I do it. I'm also really into dank 80's muzik, Information Society, The Human League, Van Halen, Y&T, anything that gets me jacked up to lift, tan, pound brotein shakes, and pump my fist. I think that your definition or bro is a little off. Maybe hipsters have incorporated certain aspects of true brodom, but I think the two are still somewhat separate. ME, I think I'm the true bro because I am two aspects, hip, and so fucking jacked and tan. I bang out sets to Cut Copy, Crystal Castles, New Order, and hercules and love affair, but I also do lines to blondie, Def leppard, and whitesnake. I ThiNk you need to b more careful when you use the term bro, butt this post was interesting. I hope that has been sufficiently informative. -Tron BRO

Austin's picture

This is a shitty ripoff of:
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/bro_youre_a_god_among_bros

Get some originality.

Xaretaxyaumic's picture

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125cc Scooters's picture

Awesome article, love the

Awesome article, love the photo too haha!

Wish I was a mystery shopper...'s picture

Hmm, I have a question.

Hmm, I have a question. What's with us all being called bro's in the comments and having the same default photo? Very confusing!

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