In ALT or BRO, the HIPSTER RUNOFF reader must decide if the male pictured is an alt or a bro. In most cases, the man can be a ‘bro dressed as an alt’ or an ‘alt who is ultimately a bro.’ This game is meant to ‘build a sense of community’ within the website.
Photo by Last Nights Party
Do yall think that this is a bro or an alt?
Please justify ur answer in order to receive a free ticket to Coachella 2009.
For example:
“he is a bro because he could crush ur skull and just pretending 2 be alt.”
or
“he is an alt because he has a neon v-neck, headband, and lollerskates.”
Do yall know the answer or what?
Previous games of ALT or BRO
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/04/alt-or-bro-2.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/alt-or-bro.html
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IAmCarles.com
66 Comments
1st
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//////////Reply by wigmaster
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:14 pm
this is a surfer bro immitating alt kids to get poon, all three of these alt or bro douchbags have turned hipster into some sort of science in order to get gossip girl watching skinny jean wearing north shore long island living, girl talk listening girls. NOW the only people who get hot chicks have to listen to of montreal or some other generic indie band and wear clothes from urban outfitters, and american apparel. Or be white trash and get with hot ghetto girls. I hate douchebags like this prob going to penn state or west virginia and is gonna work for his dads samll business……….. FUCK wannabes
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//////////Reply by bebop
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 7:47 pm
@wigmaster,
+1!
hot damn, i gotta say that shit all the time.
Of Montreal, MGMT, Girl Talk! all those shit ass bands
that ‘alts’ listen to to seem ‘quirky’.
fuckin cuntasses. i had a girl tell me that she wanted
to see the Dirty Projectors “if i knew who they were”.
she then logged on to p4k to show me they were playing with TVOTR.
FUCK HER! ruinin an okay band (Dirty P’s, new album suckss..) and thinkin shes cool for TVOTR!?
they suck.
fuck wanna bes.
fuck entry lvlrs.
fuck alt bags.
fuck altbros.
FUCK BROS.
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Carles. I will send u pics of me naked if you post the pic i sent you last night. If you would only reveal yourself i’d fuck the shit out of you. Your cultural musings make me wet.
-Cait
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//////////Reply by chorles
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:59 pm
@Caitlyn,
r u going 2 grift his [rich] ass?
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 7:52 pm
@chorles, lol
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Carles. I will send u pics of me naked if you post the pic i sent you last night. If you would only reveal yourself i’d fuck the shit out of you. Your cultural musings make me wet.
-Cait
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//////////Reply by Christer Blipster
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 6:10 pm
@Caitlyn,
Damn girl!!!!!!!!
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he is a bro because alts can’t sk8 or do physical work.
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@fuckface, alts can sk8. oh u mean lollerskates. never tried lol
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//////////Reply by The Man in the Hat
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:20 am
@tragedy in toyland,
the hardest part about rollerskating is telling your parents your gay
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//////////Reply by Guido
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 6:44 am
@The Man in the Hat, lols!
he is way to muscular to be an alt. he’s a ’semi’-bro. hes not ‘bad’, but he is a dancer.
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2 much testosterone 2 b alt. note the muscles and the fact he actually ‘has hair on his chest.’ nvr seen that in an alt.
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//////////Reply by tryin2findmyself
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:01 pm
@Guns+Germs+Steel, i have
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//////////Reply by Marsha
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@Guns+Germs+Steel, i disagree, the cobrasnake has a fuckload of chest hair
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//////////Reply by White Blipster
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 6:01 pm
@Marsha, FYI the Cobrasnake is technically an AltBag
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//////////Reply by Marsha
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
@White Blipster, oh thx
also not the abercrombiecore haircut. just got back from a Chili Peppers show, yall!
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I want him to be my bro. I want to lollersk8 w/him but his bro braclets r holding me back. He’s an altbro who exercises to “Calypso” by Blonde Acid Cult and “Floating” by The Japes. He likes to bro out with his bros to Foals. He is dancer/altbro.
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he’s a bro cuz he looks like he’s in a frat.
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He’s a bro because no alt kid would ever cover up a Pabst Blue Ribbon sign.
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he is an alt, he works out ironically.
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//////////Reply by Anna
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 9:12 pm
@Betty J. Meggers, lol
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//////////Reply by unmutual
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:02 am
@Anna, yea screw stereotypes working out can be alt
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//////////Reply by bleep bloop bleep
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:21 am
@unmutual, alts are born creepishly skinny and/or have really high metabolisms, thus canceling out the need to ‘work out’. chubby alts are gross and do not exist. if they do, they should be eradicated.
//////////Reply by Guido
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 6:46 am
@unmutual, seen plenty of ‘thick bros’ that were pretty alt- in the midwest thought (via chicago)
while PabstBluRibns + color-coord roller skate wheels r def alt values; this bro obviously spends more time working out than he does sitting around on the web downloading new remixes/looking at sneakers.
This leads to the conclusion that he is trying ‘get buff’ to ‘get it on’ with some ‘fit girls from Costa Mesa,’ rather than ‘find the latest banger’ so he can brag about it to some entry-level/college alt and ‘feed her blow and bang her.’
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//////////Reply by Patty Jo Watson
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@brobasher, wow, u should b my field assistant 4 the WU anthro dept, ur clever.
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//////////Reply by brobasher
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
@Patty Jo Watson, only if u pay me in amapparel gift cards/mp3s/haircut
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voted bro
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he is a bro because that v-neck is from the gap
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he’s a BRO fo sho. It’s like he heard about an 80’s party that all the skanky girls were going to be at so he chose “rollersk8r” as his theme and then just bought dayglo everything.
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alt-douche-bro
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He’s too “perfect” to be alt. Looks like he “drives a clean car” and “could be a personal trainer”.
BRO
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coachella was last weekend y’all.
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//////////Reply by tryin2findmyself
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
bro
1st
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u can see clrly that his forearm is bigger than his head (fuck perspective) thus BRO STATUS [via headband]
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BRO because he goes tanning…
…men who go tanning = GHEY!
and i can use that term bc i, myself, am ghey
(but never go tanning!)
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Bro.
Probably listened to Davies Matthew Bands on the way over.
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looks like one of those 3oh3 guys, which means bro.
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i would not bang him; he is a fratbro.
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think he might be ‘into jesus’
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//////////Reply by hdizza
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 5:15 pm
@hmm, agreein w tihs
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L0L, tan matches everything, bro has color coordination skills
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Hes a bro. Alts dont have body hair because it creates drag [via 'fixed gears']. Unless they r Dan Deacon fans but this bro doesnt have a beard/glasses/is balding.
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he’s a bro, alts hardly ever smile in photos
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//////////Reply by commentator
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
@Faisal, you mean never smile. Bro all the way.
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Clearly he’s an alt, because in this case it’s alt to be bro. However, if people were primarily labeling him as an alt, then he’d be bro, duh.
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‘That 70’s Bro’ or possibly campingbro [via bracelets 2 remember 'those wicked decent nites in the wilderness'].
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frayed wristbands is more surfer dude than alt
but he knows that if he dresses like an alt he can get tugs from ladies who are tired of emacialts
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he is a genuine bro trying to be an alt in a ’sarcastic’ way just to impress girls.
this is the ultimate bro-truth
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//////////Reply by bleep bloop bleep
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:09 am
@LAZARUS, i’m an alt who likes to dress like a bro in a ’sarcastic’ way just to be more alt. check out the visor look with a keystone light. it really works on the ladies yo.
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He is such a bro that Kari Ferrel would only give him a handjob with her hand.
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think this bro is a lil 2 alt, alts r gettin ghey now. xpensive neon sign that says i drink cheap to eff some beetch and stick my peen cum in her hair is tired now. think tru alts will dress up and take pretty kute gurl out to ruthz chris manghouse and kiss on the cheek listening to jason mrazzmatazz. dating big in 2k9. jason mrazzmatazz big in 2k4ever.
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Obviously not his roller sk8’s too small. Altbro.
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he is alt because he has jew hair && is therefore jewish. And being jewish is ironic. He is also ironically buff, maintaining his bod by “not trying”
however, his “alt” attire is based off the fact he just came from an eighties party. hence the headband, and the stupid grin.
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//////////Reply by Anna
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 9:15 pm
@samantha, JEWISH????
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//////////Reply by samantha
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 9:23 pm
@Anna, yes. ultimate irony.
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He is an Alt because he’s ironically, non-ironically standing in front of a neon PBR sign with a PBR blue headband
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he is an altbro, via baby blue sweatband combined with am appy deep-v + probable pair of ‘basket-ball shorts’ below the waist
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//////////Reply by entry lvlr
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:33 am
@nicKKK, how long have BBall shorts been alt? I’ve been giving myself testes cancer for ages via jeans that are ‘hipster cut’
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feel like hes a genuine alt
just doesnt seem bro somehow
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he is bro because of his uncomplicated smile. alts only smile sexually or spiritually, NEVER to say ‘cheese’ or ‘fuck yeah’ or ’sweet’.
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he’s a bro cause his other bro didn’t take the picture with a Yashica T5 camera.
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A couple of blog years ago, you posted an alt who supposedly had muscles and there was a lot of talk about fake alts who were actually jocks, etc.
I spoke up to say that the alt in question had no muscles to speak of and was shouted down.
This fake alt has muscles.
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umm when will HRO be for entry lvlrs??
when will HRO be un-authentic?
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//////////Reply by Ulrich
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 8:35 pm
@bodysnatcher, when carles gimmicks to stay relevant become annoying
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Sometimes I feel like the cmmntrs on HRO are the only ppl in the world that “get” me.
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted April 21st, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@lonelybro, <3 u
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//////////Reply by Kyle
//////////Posted April 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 am
@lonelybro, <3 u too
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Those skates are alt. But the colour coordinated bro attached make them loose all authenticity,
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He is a new-age alt-hippie. proved by the bracelets. he is reminiscing about the past with the photog (because those skates are kids size)
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thats looks like a fratbro at a ’80s themed frat party.
iv nevr seen an alt dude that looks like his day job could be personal trainer.
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he is a bro because any alt would’ve learned that baby blue headbands clash with neon orange am appy v-necks. and the light up beer sign and dried cranberry christmas tree decor doesn’t help his alt-case much.
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that bro is the bro-est of the bros
he is king bro
broseidon, lord of the brocean
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He is alt
1) V-neck
2) Mismatching shoes
3) rolling is alt walking
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Das brosef!
Looks like he ‘cares’ about his rural town ‘community’
He’s being to ‘exhibitionist’ about his ‘wheels’ to be srsly
‘Red hair’ = must show ‘proof of altership’
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Gotta be a bro. Those skates look like they wouldn’t fit a 10 year old.
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Bro, because:
a. he shaved this facial hair = no-no
b. the v-neck is not am appy
c. his forearms tooo buff & tan
alts are not tan, expt. if you naturally are
this dude is obviously not, therefore goes tanning
d. looks like one of those jocks at my uni
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bro. just played bball, seamless transition w headband to ’small get together’ with some ‘good friends.’ did not know his ‘get up’ would be documented that nite, but rede for it. lol, who brought the camera, yall?
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also, he is a greek god. def read a myth about him in elementary school. so mebe he’s alt after all?
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he looks like a wanker
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ALT FAIL!
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he’s a john madden/ eli manning bro!
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he is a bro because of:
the bro smile
the skin colour
the jewelry… an alt would never wear such things
the hairdo
the PBR sign in the background
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Bro because he has blond curly hair, nice blue eyes, muscles and rosacea
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bro disguised as an alt. looks like a rejected huntington beach surfer reefer guns n roses bro, perhaps even of the poser “church youth group leader” variety.
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bro
v-neck≠alt
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he’s wearing coral eyeshadow, so i say fag
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So obviously a bro being retro. I don’t think he’s even aiming for alt at all. Just look at his douche-nozzle grin!
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bro. look at his innovative handgesture, part hang-ten, part metal horns. Surfbro slipup.
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he looks like me. bro. dammit.
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He’s got a douchey grin, a PBR sign, and eyeliner on. Also notice the christmas lights all over the room. Most definitely a bro.
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