Nervous about becoming a father. Not sure how to ‘get ready.’ Just want my lifestyle to stay the same, even though I have a child. I think I might just buy the kewlest shit for kids and stuff. Hopefully if I invest enough money in useful, high end conceptual babie products, the rest will ‘take care of itself.’
Should I get some sort of ‘kewl looking sling’ that brands me with my babie?
Meme via babygadget
Might get worried about my wife’s back if she wears it for more than 10 hours per day.
Glad it comes with a ‘male template’ so that I can still chill in my aviators.
Might just get naked in an edgy movie about bros starting FIGHT CLUBS, and then become a mom and buy a free-spirited bicycle that is meant for hauling humans around. Want my kids to never have to suffer by riding in a car.
Photo via Jezebel
(Might also start a late night business with this contraption.
I will participate in quirky art projects that bring me closer 2 my wife during her pregnancy.
We will show this video to our son/daughter instead of ‘explaining how sex works.’
Yall… I’m nervous… does n e 1 have n e parenting tips, ideas, products, or literature that will make my life easier?
Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
Well I don’t know if I’m ready
To be the man I have to be
I’ll take a breath, I’ll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we’ve created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
-The Creeds
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IAmCarles.com
18 Comments
second
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
@gioisafatty, first
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wtf
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//////////Reply by MAD@GERMS
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 pm
@First, I BLEEDZ THE CREEDZ STFU
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AHHHHHHH
third..
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//////////Reply by INFOBOT
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@blippin aint easy,
first rply @ third cmmnt
ur rite bro, blippin ain’t ez, specailly when ur sorta blondish & wite : (
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if you adopted how long would you wait to tell them?
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lets blaze a fart or two in this place to cool dads
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just want 2 start a french nu wave of blog house based on authentic communal parenting called ‘chez our maison’ first track called “healthcare4us” second track “suburbs have better schools i think”
CRLS can produce? tao lin can write lyrics? i want to play turntables.
have not cmmntd in frvr.
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damn bro
fight club
damn, the apartments were dirty in that movie
am i right
damn
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@tao, damn
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//////////Reply by tao
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@brobro, damn bro
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//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@tao, damn..
these damn kids. they make me feel too close to nature (via moon cycles and ’shit’). just want to be a ‘good person’ and suck the ‘thing’ out of my ‘vag’. don’t want to overpopulate the world with ‘lil bros & lil bitches’.
fuck.
maybe i should get my insides cleaned. don’t want to pull my kids around on a tricycle like Elena Bonham Carter.
damn..
//////////Reply by wes
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
@tao, youre a fuck get the fuck out of here
//////////Reply by aw,fukk
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
@tao,
damn bro
follow u on the twitterz
u r sooo deep bro
i was eating some sunchips and listening to the MCRs and then i watched this video and thought of you but then my gf came in and wanted me to fngrBang her, but i had sunchip fingers and i cried a little
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVWFSfW-w1o
damn
miss you bro
when r u coming to omaha for a book signing?
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//////////Reply by tao
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
@aw,fukk, damn bro
fngrbang
damn
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What? You’re gonna be a dad? Congratz are in order then!!!
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Just like life is all about papers (degrees, money, etc.) parenting is all about schedules Carles. Being a “cool” dad won’t even matter Carles when you have to schedule sex with your wife & the times you can go out with other “cool” dads (kiss your old school bros behind). You can not get smashed via butt naked strip clubs with BYOB & free entry. BYOB will no longer have its old meaning instead it will mean BRING YOUR OWN BIB & you will have to hang out with other LAME parents on Friday nights playing Pictionary. You think your baby’s mama is going to allow you to spoke pot while you are babysitting your child, think again! You can no longer drink and drive at free will. You will be scrounging around looking for loose change in your couch cushions but not to buy Camel Lights/Sparks/Blow but for Huggies/formula/baby wipes. But on the Brightside that PeteWentz bro is coming out with an alt cd of baby tunes. Hopefully you didn’t knock up a wannabe alt-chick…You can always just get a real job and pay child support, but you will always be tainted Carles. Just settle for a new puppy & name it after an alt band.
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//////////Reply by _sherriff lobro_
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
@yellowPaiges,
dam that sux. I am out of the baby game for goodz.
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CRLS – so excited y’all.
I went ahead and bought you
1) gift certificate to chili’s to celebrate
2) 3 months of abelton classes for yer altkid.
just want yer alt kid to make meaningful, highly bloggable, dance music.
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one mistake
damn
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babe(ies) lol
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i laughed. so did my heart because of this post. I still don’t want a kid for a long while. i’ll wait till all of my friends start having kids and then they won’t be able to hang out anymore anyway, so there won’t be anything to do but have kids of my own. I might practice with a dog first to see if i can handle the responsibility.
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//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
@kid,
i don’t know if fucking a dog has any correlations with raising a child. maybe you should watch ‘raising arizona’ instead. you’ll learn about huggies and the threat of ‘wife swapping’.
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This post is about the abject. Carles is talking about the threat to the subject/object dichotomy posed by the newborn child, which is at once with and without identity, but beyond that he is concerned with the same abjection inherent in conformist consumption that effaces subjectivity or confronts us with the threat that our subjectivity will be decentered in our own consciousness: appropriately Carles calls this material “the kewlest shit.” Kristeva infamously argued that “Abjection preserves what existed in the archaism of preobjectal relationship, in the immemorial violence with which a body becomes separated from another body in order to be” — in other words the “powers of horror” in the primal ur-abject scene of childbirth. The substances of our own mortality and infirmity — vomit, feces, a propensity to listen to Creed (whose lyrics Carles reproduces here to incite abject responses in his readers and thus inscribe on the body of the reader his philosophical axioms) — evoke abjection. Carles, by merely appropriating the band’s lyrics, figures Creed’s music as an irruption of the Real:
Through the invasion of a culturally constituted object of desire (petit A?) into the space of our own self-automated subjectivity, “everything” becomes the intolerable assurance of our death. Our autonomous acculturation is threatened by the very existence of popular music that cannot be assimilated to an individualized notion of the good, in a Platonic or Aristotalian sense. “This place” is the womb space of pure abjection, covered in placental tissue and umbilical fluids as well as the the “tears of joy” that “stream down.”
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//////////Reply by blipOFFurRADAR
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
@HROE, damn bro.
think this makes me want to ‘have kids’ even more, and maybe perpetuate my ‘obsession with death’ [via traumatically making my progeny f34r d34th 2]
also think that you’re kind of a cunt bro.
enumerating Carles’ psychological connection with his blog posts is like highlighting the particles in the declaration of independence.
‘…the…of the…in…to…a…’ [via being ridiculous/kind of crazy]
thnx 4 the commentary tho(?)
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//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm
@blipOFFurRADAR,
Naw man,
HROE is a robot. or my dad..
miss you ‘pops’
hate you ‘pops’
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//////////Reply by José
//////////Posted April 23rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@HROE,
Justin? is that you?
<3 u
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Always had a feeling Creed was a poopy band.
Those parents look like they’re trying to chill-like-they don’t-have-offspring. They should just, put it up for adoption, or do it “the Chinese way”.
Super-tricycle would be awesome to use with your best-bros if one of them was a midget-bro.
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first!
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oh my creed
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i think that bag company stole uffie’s font
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