Yall. I found out about this new product meme called SLANTIES. From what I read in the Wall Street Journal, they are attempting to replace shuttershades as ‘the kewl new glasses that tweens will wear.’ I think they were designed by some innovative designer who is good at both ‘design’ and ‘branding.’ Might be some sort of re-branding campaign for Asia since people see them as being ‘rigid’ and ‘communist.’
I was a Teacher’s Assistant for a Consumer Psychology course at Wharton (a Relevant Business School), and u can see the impact of AZNs on our modern society and global economy when you put on a pair of slanties. The concept behind the slanty is attempting to ‘degrade AZNs’, but also ‘become one’ with the AZN population.
“Slanties” is actually a derogatory term for Asian peoples, because their eyes are slanted, kinda like the glasses. The small ’slit’ through which they can see is supposed to represent how AZNs can’t really have a global view, and they are only really good at small tasks that they focus on, but this ingrained worth ethic is also what helped Japan and China to ‘kick every1s ass at business, engineering, and everything else important.
Much like ‘every 1 wanted to be black’ back when rap/hip-hop/pre-Obama-african-american-culture was blowing up, these glasses are an attempt to re-brand the AZN as ‘a race worth wanting to be.’ Sort of like ‘accepting their supremacy’ as a viable group of peoples, a source of stuff/products/architecture/memes that look kewl [via Japan], and a model from which 2 build a functional economy.
Feel kinda weird about how AZNs are ‘winning’ everything. Used to think that they were sort of a ‘novelty race’ who were just trying to look kute, but I think I was focusing one the wrong ones that didn’t actually represent the majority of the AZN population [via Gwen Stefani's AZNs].
[via http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html
Still feeling sad that America is ‘losing ground.’ worried about white people and their cultural identity.
Previous posts about AZN influence on the modern world
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/should-i-h8-azns.html
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IAmCarles.com
33 Comments
Is this uhhh…. what day is this??
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//////////Reply by tripler
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 9:10 am
the aprl fools joke is that the text is different.
luv u crls
miss u old txt
h8 u smart azns
luv u keut azns
miss u sailor moon
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//////////Reply by tripler
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 9:11 am
text via ‘font’. not text via ’send me a txt!’
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//////////Reply by tripler
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:09 am
a.d.i.d.a.a.
//////////Reply by JB
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 11:27 am
wtf, carles, you go to Penn? are you a grad student or undergrad. if you’re an undergrad, i’m assuming you’re in pilam haha
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this post is not an april fools joke
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 9:35 am
@Switters, h8 comic sans
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:28 am
@hey anony anony, comic sans gave me a panic attack.
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Send us your cracker bitches now, and skip the glasses, yo.
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4th yall. AZNs=chuths too narrow .
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 12:55 pm
@fggtboi, lol, and AZNgf was the 1 who ‘gave me that album’ [via jr-hi]
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Inuits wear these for hundreds of years to see in the snow without getting blind.
So much for originality.
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 1:03 pm
@Joe, r inuits those crazy broads from bjork who ’sing with their throats’?
bjork so zanie.
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 8:28 am
@Gurkman, dont think he’s an inuit, but the alt wearin the slanties looks like dirtyprojectorbro [via limited engagements w/bjork @ housingworks]
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//////////Reply by mattattaxx
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:41 pm
@Joe,
Ye kinda thought they were the inspiration 4 this, not kute azns
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A.R.E.A.M
azn azn bill, yall.
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//////////Reply by The Citizen Science
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 3:46 pm
@jjjjjjjjoe,
AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!
We need an Asian, ahem Azn, Wu-Tang Cover “Band”.
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ahhh comic sans
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there are some nameless gangsters early in the movie “Big Trouble in Little China,” beginning at the airport scene. one is wearing the shutter-style shades while another wears the slanties; a strange recurrence, really… i always think of those guys.
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//////////Reply by Semblance
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:28 am
@,
First thing I thought of too! I love Big Trouble in Little China so much.
miss u good John Carpenter films.
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//////////Reply by Kurt Russalt
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:19 pm
@Semblance, Snake Bliskin wears those goggles in The Thing too
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i think hispanics are asian
was at a sushi bar, couldn’t tell if they were hispanic or asian
after a while i felt hispanics ‘are’ asians
like they’re both not white or something
seems like there’s just white, black, and ‘asian’
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
@tao, well, mstzos/indios actually r AZN [via bering str8]. there are actually like 5 types of mexis [via la casta] and like 10 kinds of dominicanbros. dunno abt PRs/ecuabros/salvadorks/guatemalanz/cubanz/CSS b/c i’ve nvr ‘gotten 2 kno’ their culture cuz i’m kinda scared they will just ‘use me 2 buy/sell blow’ [via Colombian Cartel].
h8 u chriscolumbusbro 4 ‘raping the western hemisphere’ but <3u 4 cre8ing ‘hot latin booty’ [via rape].
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//////////Reply by jigga
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
@Gurkman, best post of 2k9.4
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//////////Reply by von colander
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
@Gurkman, are Philipinbros latin somehow? a philipino (that sounds so racist) tried to tell me this was the case, so i just believe him
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Im blind ‘for a day’
THANKS A LOT CARLES!!!! x 3
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This is bullshit, C. What the hell? Why would you do this? Don’t you know there are legions of people who abhor this kind of hate? Comic Sans is Satan! Happy 4/1, jerk.
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//////////Reply by mattattaxx
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:57 pm
@Alf In Yo Mouf . com,
as a grphc dsgnr, i love comic sans
lol jk can’t even keep a str8 face
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OMG Carles!
I LOVES the font change!
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Carles you go to Penn? Are you undergrad or graduate? if you’re undergrad i’m assuming you’re in pilam, or MAYBE elmo’s haha
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Feel so safe in this PARENT FREE ZONE!
<3 u carles. h8 u comic sans. miss u helvetica.
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//////////Reply by .....
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 11:36 am
@….., also hope you mean Wharton Community college in Texas and not that other fancy schoolio.
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FUCK CARLES & CO. I NEED HELP
who is more authentic:
Vivian Girls, MSTRKRFT, or Dan Deacon?
I have to choose which one to go see on Saturday. Kinda just wanna stay home and get vulns instead. So overwhelemed.
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//////////Reply by nightheat
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 11:56 am
@….., dat is a FGGT ?
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@….., VvnGrls>DnDeakin>mstrkrft
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//////////Reply by .....
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@Gurkman, thatz wut i wuz thinkin, hope u rnt bein ironic or sumthing
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//////////Reply by von colander
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 3:51 pm
@….., its def not mstrkrft so just toss a coin for the other 2. tho i’ve basically had the vivgirls live experience, and it is underwhelming
//////////Reply by cp
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:59 pm
@….., agree w/ Gurkman slash you. u can either be underwhelmed by vgalz or overwhelmed by dndeac ‘live aud participation’. since ur alreadz ‘overwhelmed’ i’m saying go vgalz n get ‘whelmed’
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carles is from/lives in san antonio?
what a sham.
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y’all, i live in baltimore… should i go gets myself some slanties so i can claim to be an “early adopter”. afraid of giving in to gimmicky marketing memes, but also need some new shades.
don’t know what to do y’all
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//////////Reply by .....
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 2:30 pm
@smedly, i’m also from baltimore. gonna get slanties b4 u and b more authentic/original than u
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//////////Reply by smedly
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 7:31 am
@….., well crap
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//////////Reply by до свидания
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 7:38 pm
@smedly, charm city ownz yall.
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//////////Reply by ......
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 2:21 am
@до свидания, think u mean wham city
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hahahaha so strange
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<3 comic sans
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Those are the ugliest fucking things I have ever seen in my life.
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Fucking Hell, I totally called this would be the next Shutter Shades.
They’re just snow goggles. Invented by the Inuit to prevent snow blindness, and to get all the ladies at the igloo-discotheque.
http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/socia/images/inuit/inuit_large.jpg
(That guy is the most Alt-Eskimo EVER)
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//////////Reply by The Citizen Science
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@The Citizen Science,
Also From “The Thing” 1982.
http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsW/18126-19343.gif
Norwegian Guys are always the first to die in movies that feature Norwegian guys (This is the one only one).
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//////////Reply by mattattaxx
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:58 pm
@The Citizen Science,
think they use them in a ‘galaxy far far away’
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@ carles, STOP LURKIN SUFU
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just saw AZN. nice skin
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h8 u Comic Sans :(:(:(:(:(
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//////////Reply by avragebro
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 4:38 pm
@KingJelle, agr33d
probably shouldn’t post this comment cause i dont want people to see my thoughts in anything other than helvety…
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//////////Reply by mattattaxx
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 10:59 pm
@avragebro,
2 l8 :( :( :(
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do they make prescription slanties or will i have 2 buy contacts?
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i wish i could be AZN for realz
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all of our culture is being stolen and i am outraged.
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 8:07 pm
@white&nationalistic, FGGT
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Miss you Helvety
<3 U Helvety
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//////////Reply by mattattaxx
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 11:00 pm
@White Blipster,
shulda deleted cmcsns from yr compy
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CRLS, ur HRO.coms makes my scrll-pad stop wrking
evry time i cum here 2day
sUper annying
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//////////Reply by The Citizen Science
//////////Posted April 1st, 2009 at 11:19 pm
@Opal,
Sexual Hea-ling
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Devo already invented these and it got them kicked out of music.
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Little late blogging about this big guy, about two weeks too late too be exact.
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still can’t decide if its real or not….and if so, could they pick a name other than ’slanties?’ or r they trying to b satirical in a world full of 2 much racism?
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white skin, yellow masks
too bad AZNs invented them first: http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/990/PreviewComp/SuperStock_990-118159.jpg
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