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Read about these kewl new glasses called SLANTIES


Yall. I found out about this new product meme called SLANTIES. From what I read in the Wall Street Journal, they are attempting to replace shuttershades as 'the kewl new glasses that tweens will wear.' I think they were designed by some innovative designer who is good at both 'design' and 'branding.' Might be some sort of re-branding campaign for Asia since people see them as being 'rigid' and 'communist.'

I was a Teacher's Assistant for a Consumer Psychology course at Wharton (a Relevant Business School), and u can see the impact of AZNs on our modern society and global economy when you put on a pair of slanties. The concept behind the slanty is attempting to 'degrade AZNs', but also 'become one' with the AZN population.

"Slanties" is actually a derogatory term for Asian peoples, because their eyes are slanted, kinda like the glasses. The small 'slit' through which they can see is supposed to represent how AZNs can't really have a global view, and they are only really good at small tasks that they focus on, but this ingrained worth ethic is also what helped Japan and China to 'kick every1s ass at business, engineering, and everything else important.

Much like 'every 1 wanted to be black' back when rap/hip-hop/pre-Obama-african-american-culture was blowing up, these glasses are an attempt to re-brand the AZN as 'a race worth wanting to be.' Sort of like 'accepting their supremacy' as a viable group of peoples, a source of stuff/products/architecture/memes that look kewl [via Japan], and a model from which 2 build a functional economy.

Feel kinda weird about how AZNs are 'winning' everything. Used to think that they were sort of a 'novelty race' who were just trying to look kute, but I think I was focusing one the wrong ones that didn't actually represent the majority of the AZN population [via Gwen Stefani's AZNs].

[via http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html

Still feeling sad that America is 'losing ground.' worried about white people and their cultural identity.

Previous posts about AZN influence on the modern world
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/should-i-h8-azns.html

Comments

Jeffrey L.'s picture

Is this uhhh.... what day is this??

tripler's picture

the aprl fools joke is that the text is different.
luv u crls
miss u old txt
h8 u smart azns
luv u keut azns
miss u sailor moon

tripler's picture

text via 'font'. not text via 'send me a txt!'

tripler's picture

a.d.i.d.a.a.

john310's picture

i am still waiting for my

i am still waiting for my cable to be sent. I ordered a cable last month and havent got an email back from them till i filed a paypal dispute.testking BH0-010/testking BCP-421/testking 000-280/testking 1z0-520

JB's picture

wtf, carles, you go to Penn? are you a grad student or undergrad. if you're an undergrad, i'm assuming you're in pilam haha

Switters's picture

this post is not an april fools joke

hey anony anony's picture

@Switters, h8 comic sans

tragedy in toyland's picture

@hey anony anony, comic sans gave me a panic attack.

Hung Fa Lo's picture

Send us your cracker bitches now, and skip the glasses, yo.

Joe's picture

Inuits wear these for hundreds of years to see in the snow without getting blind.

So much for originality.

Gurkman's picture

@Joe, r inuits those crazy broads from bjork who 'sing with their throats'?

bjork so zanie.

hey anony anony's picture

@Gurkman, dont think he's an inuit, but the alt wearin the slanties looks like dirtyprojectorbro [via limited engagements w/bjork @ housingworks]

mattattaxx's picture

@Joe,

Ye kinda thought they were the inspiration 4 this, not kute azns

Emilia's picture

Coole Sache, ich finde die

Coole Sache, ich finde die Musik von denen echt cool. Hab mir zum Beispiel letztens ein paar neue designer sonnenbrillen geholt und hab dabei zusätzlich auch eine neue CD gefunden. War echt cool und wird bestimmt bald wieder kommen.

jjjjjjjjoe's picture

A.R.E.A.M

azn azn bill, yall.

The Citizen Science's picture

@jjjjjjjjoe,

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

We need an Asian, ahem Azn, Wu-Tang Cover "Band".

hannah's picture

ahhh comic sans

­'s picture

there are some nameless gangsters early in the movie "Big Trouble in Little China," beginning at the airport scene. one is wearing the shutter-style shades while another wears the slanties; a strange recurrence, really... i always think of those guys.

Semblance's picture

@­,

First thing I thought of too! I love Big Trouble in Little China so much.

miss u good John Carpenter films.

Kurt Russalt's picture

@Semblance, Snake Bliskin wears those goggles in The Thing too

tao's picture

i think hispanics are asian

was at a sushi bar, couldn't tell if they were hispanic or asian

after a while i felt hispanics 'are' asians

like they're both not white or something

seems like there's just white, black, and 'asian'

Gurkman's picture

@tao, well, mstzos/indios actually r AZN [via bering str8]. there are actually like 5 types of mexis [via la casta] and like 10 kinds of dominicanbros. dunno abt PRs/ecuabros/salvadorks/guatemalanz/cubanz/CSS b/c i've nvr 'gotten 2 kno' their culture cuz i'm kinda scared they will just 'use me 2 buy/sell blow' [via Colombian Cartel].

h8 u chriscolumbusbro 4 'raping the western hemisphere' but <3u 4 cre8ing 'hot latin booty' [via rape].

jigga's picture

@Gurkman, best post of 2k9.4

von colander's picture

@Gurkman, are Philipinbros latin somehow? a philipino (that sounds so racist) tried to tell me this was the case, so i just believe him

alternativeprincess's picture

Im blind 'for a day'
THANKS A LOT CARLES!!!! x 3

Alf In Yo Mouf . com's picture

This is bullshit, C. What the hell? Why would you do this? Don't you know there are legions of people who abhor this kind of hate? Comic Sans is Satan! Happy 4/1, jerk.

mattattaxx's picture

@Alf In Yo Mouf . com,

as a grphc dsgnr, i love comic sans

lol jk can't even keep a str8 face

ben's picture

OMG Carles!
I LOVES the font change!

JB's picture

Carles you go to Penn? Are you undergrad or graduate? if you're undergrad i'm assuming you're in pilam, or MAYBE elmo's haha

.....'s picture

Feel so safe in this PARENT FREE ZONE!
<3 u carles. h8 u comic sans. miss u helvetica.

.....'s picture

@....., also hope you mean Wharton Community college in Texas and not that other fancy schoolio.

.....'s picture

FUCK CARLES & CO. I NEED HELP
who is more authentic:
Vivian Girls, MSTRKRFT, or Dan Deacon?
I have to choose which one to go see on Saturday. Kinda just wanna stay home and get vulns instead. So overwhelemed.

nightheat's picture

@....., dat is a FGGT ?

Gurkman's picture

@....., VvnGrls>DnDeakin>mstrkrft

.....'s picture

@Gurkman, thatz wut i wuz thinkin, hope u rnt bein ironic or sumthing

von colander's picture

@....., its def not mstrkrft so just toss a coin for the other 2. tho i've basically had the vivgirls live experience, and it is underwhelming

cp's picture

@....., agree w/ Gurkman slash you. u can either be underwhelmed by vgalz or overwhelmed by dndeac 'live aud participation'. since ur alreadz 'overwhelmed' i'm saying go vgalz n get 'whelmed'

Gurkman's picture

@fggtboi, lol, and AZNgf was the 1 who 'gave me that album' [via jr-hi]

Nelson's picture

carles is from/lives in san antonio?

what a sham.

smedly's picture

y'all, i live in baltimore... should i go gets myself some slanties so i can claim to be an "early adopter". afraid of giving in to gimmicky marketing memes, but also need some new shades.
don't know what to do y'all

.....'s picture

@smedly, i'm also from baltimore. gonna get slanties b4 u and b more authentic/original than u

smedly's picture

@....., well crap

до свидания's picture

@smedly, charm city ownz yall.

......'s picture

@до свидания, think u mean wham city

CasinoDelSolTucson's picture

hahahaha so strange

lurnsssss's picture

<3 comic sans

whoopie's picture

Those are the ugliest fucking things I have ever seen in my life.

The Citizen Science's picture

Fucking Hell, I totally called this would be the next Shutter Shades.

They're just snow goggles. Invented by the Inuit to prevent snow blindness, and to get all the ladies at the igloo-discotheque.

http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/socia/images/inuit/inuit_large.jpg

(That guy is the most Alt-Eskimo EVER)

The Citizen Science's picture

@The Citizen Science,

Also From "The Thing" 1982.

http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsW/18126-19343.gif

Norwegian Guys are always the first to die in movies that feature Norwegian guys (This is the one only one).

mattattaxx's picture

@The Citizen Science,

think they use them in a 'galaxy far far away'

max's picture

@ carles, STOP LURKIN SUFU

daffy's picture

just saw AZN. nice skin

KingJelle's picture

h8 u Comic Sans :(:(:(:(:(

avragebro's picture

@KingJelle, agr33d
probably shouldn't post this comment cause i dont want people to see my thoughts in anything other than helvety...

mattattaxx's picture

@avragebro,

2 l8 :( :( :(

Gurkman's picture

do they make prescription slanties or will i have 2 buy contacts?

dan-onymous's picture

i wish i could be AZN for realz

white&amp;amp;nationalistic's picture

all of our culture is being stolen and i am outraged.

daffy's picture

@white&nationalistic, FGGT

White Blipster's picture

Miss you Helvety

<3 U Helvety

mattattaxx's picture

@White Blipster,

shulda deleted cmcsns from yr compy

Opal's picture

CRLS, ur HRO.coms makes my scrll-pad stop wrking

evry time i cum here 2day

sUper annying

The Citizen Science's picture

@Opal,

Sexual Hea-ling

ADarling's picture

Devo already invented these and it got them kicked out of music.

Aaron's picture

Little late blogging about this big guy, about two weeks too late too be exact.

Paul's picture

still can't decide if its real or not....and if so, could they pick a name other than 'slanties?' or r they trying to b satirical in a world full of 2 much racism?

gay hitler's picture

white skin, yellow masks

too bad AZNs invented them first: http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/990/PreviewComp/SuperStock_990-...

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John's picture

Maybe these could do well in

Maybe these could do well in Asia or Europe but they won't work here. They are too weird looking and if they had a chance here it would have been in the 80s. Moving Pods. Cheers.

Johnson Smith's picture

The inuit had been wearing

The inuit had been wearing these as snow-glasses for years. In fact, in Canada they still have elementary school kids make their own pair before they go out snow-shoeing. No credit check loans

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There are some nameless gangsters early in the movie "Big Trouble in Little China," beginning at the airport scene. Access Panels

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glen  's picture

This people looks like aliens

This people looks like aliens with this glassess
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homer's picture

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AZN GF was that who 'gave me

AZN GF was that who 'gave me album. These girls are sweet.

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Grants for college's picture

hahah, almost can't see out

hahah, almost can't see out of them.

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hahah, almost can't see out

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Angel Bell's picture

That's racist! Though,

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