Should I get a Macbook preloaded with GarageBand??
Or should I get a disco studio?
Photo via intergalactic.fm
Should I illegally download a copy of the popular DJing + music production program ABLETON?
Or should I convert my bachelor pad into an authentic studio with an authentic synthesizer collection?
Photo via intergalactic.fm
Should I spend a lot of money on instruments instead of a computer/sending my kids to college in order to make ‘the greatest italo-tribute record ever produced’?
Photo via intergalactic.fm
Or should I buy a vintage Windows 3.1 computer, play Ski Free all day, ‘jerk off’ to JPGs of nude women on floppy discs, and then ‘off myself’?
Or should I just say ‘Carles. U had a good life. Let’s have 1 last meal at Chili’s’ then end my natural life in the parking lot of a local Chili’s, and ascend into electro heaven, where every1 has access to every ‘bad ass’ instrument and computer program ever created?
Yall. Feel sad that I don’t have a collection of authentic synthesizers. Will I be able to make authentic music without it? Are my podcasts ‘good’ even though I am not producing them authentically?
Not sure if I have much money left 2 buy instruments. Need to cut back on my ‘lifestyle budget’ that I use 2 see shows, buy drugs, eat at restaurants, and ‘buy alcohol.’ Need 2 save up some $$$$. Might have 2 get a part time job.
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IAmCarles.com
47 Comments
every1s a dj with a mcbook pro rite#?
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 9:52 am
@gerry, second
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evidently to be an authentic dj you need a black top and blue jeans.
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//////////Reply by corydan
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@J, FUCKN SASQUATCH
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oh god, ski free! totally forgot about that game. Almost as good as CHEX QUEST
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
@A$TRO, CHEX QUEST IS THE SHIT
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//////////Reply by lurnsssss
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
@Anonymous, SECONDED
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//////////Reply by Gurkman
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
@A$TRO, CHEX QUEST>Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchling Adventure
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Hmmm you pose an interesting question carles.
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u r pretty good at ski free since u r staying in 1 spot 2 avoid being eaten by ‘the monster’.
but u have 0 ’style’ points so u sux.
those guy r k00l cuz they r surreounded by s0 many buttons n know which 1 to press
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u know that joustice uses ableton rite?
u know that the fall out boyz use garage band rite?
make SkiFree beatz on your LSDJ and mayb you’ll be as relevant as nullsleep sumday
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I lost my shit when i saw skifree! – best game ever [via comic book guy]
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//////////Reply by louis
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
lack of a macbook makes me feel like im lacking as a person
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h8 my budget and how my lifestyle isn’t supported by it.
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this blog is as worthless as twitter
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
@blah, hope gambling/stocks are not important to your livelihood
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i got boners lookin at that gearrrrr
also, fl studio > all
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//////////Reply by AstroCandy
//////////Posted April 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 pm
@corydan, seconded
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h8 skifree
<3 Jezzball
miss jpeg porn [via aol chat servers]
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http://ski.ihoc.net/ 4 skifree download.
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//////////Reply by ......
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@A$TRO, if it doesn’t work on a macbook then no one here can download it, d00d
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i don’t really no what this is all about but i totally think that its no longer possible to make music with “instruments,” in the drum and bass or strings n brass er whatever sense of the word.
will have to hook up a computer 2 ur instruments if u want them 2 make noise. :(
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i have a bunch of synthesizers that collect dust because my mixer blew a while back
missin u livin at home w/ a disposable income :((((
reason is better than the good lot of them anyways unless you’re going to spend 5 grand+
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i make my mash-ups using ski free…
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u should def. spend at least $2,500+ on a macbook– even tho u prolly only “need” the $2,000 one. then, once ur ableton torrent DL finishes: U R A DJ.
u dont even have to learn anything about the software or audio or music production or music in general. don’t buy serato or traktor (or turntables) bc they aren’t as kewl of brands.
also dont ever realize that less expensive, more powerful DAW software does everything u use ableton to do bc every1 knows girl talk uses ableton
and u should DEF crack all ur software; never buy anything like a hardware samplers or drum machines bc then you would actually be committing to having music production as a hobby.
oh also: NEVER READ THE ABLETON MANUAL!!! it’s just work and “learning” and being a cool electro musician isn’t about work or passion; it’s about twitter and weed OBV
ur on the right track tho. looking forward to seeing u on the hype machine or on the myspace!!!!
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carles just loop yr farts in2 a 4 track with record level at max and instant noise music of the future on cassettes w/ skull art
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I miss talented musicians. The ones that can actually play music instead of just pressing ‘play’.
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omg….i thot u were jking crls…
HOW AM I GOING TO GET $2000 4 MACBOOKS!?
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be careful about getting into buying vintage synths…it becomes an addiction…I’m typing this from Sunny Vale Rehabilitation Center in LA….oooohhh i need an ARP like that guy in that pic
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<3 all those d00dz facial expressions….
carles, if i click your banners, do you get money? i can become a full time clicker for you <3
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carls ur word flow reminds me of that cartoon ‘babycakes.’ ne1 ever tell you that? that cartoon was important. he learned ‘important things’ a lot through persistently skewed observations of the ‘disgusting’ world around him.
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buy StudioApp on iTunes
it allows you to lay down up to 4 vocal/audio tracks over top-pick instrumentals on yalls iphones
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hey carles, fuck you
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//////////Reply by natalee hologram
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
@?/, <3 ur spunk. keep it up!
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
@natalee hologram, spunk? i h8 spunk [via ed asner]
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i think ive spent over 20 grand on synths the past couple of months, if you have the disposible income, go for it.
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//////////Reply by indie ana
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 am
@nice, hey Justice, i bet this means your next CD will be “a classic”
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We support you Carles.
Srry to hear that ur life is ‘bad’/'not as fulfilling as you would like’.
We are here for you.
HRO = Carles support group
<3 always
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ski free baby
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this was great
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i like how the tagline on this bitch changes on the daily
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THS PST HTS 2 CLS 2 HOME. =-(
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Hey Carles, surely you know someone with an older brother with a load of gear gathering dust somewhere – collaborate – mutate and survive!
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//////////Reply by Irony Free Zone
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
@michelle, so cute that unlike Carles, you actually care.
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here’s some free advice: stay digital for now. ppl like music that sounds “bad” and “good” at the same time so they can enjoy the experience of spotting a diamond in the rough. analog gear is supposed to sound “better” which actually makes it LESS authentic sounding.
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//////////Reply by c
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 11:22 am
@$mart Geniu$, bit crusher
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i just had to purge my last meal after looking at that last food pic – need to stay skinny ya’ll. celery looks gnar-gnar on the way out. <3
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uh….yeah….don’t do it, man. Ten years ago I had the same thought. $200,000 later, I’m wondering how I’m going to be able to afford the Protools HD setup AND the Moog synth collection I want sooo badly…..My 3 bedroom house can only house 2 people (in one room) because gear literally litters my floor…………and my new Universal Audio addiction is more expensive than any h junkie……help me!
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what r those orange things at chilis?
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//////////Reply by tony
//////////Posted April 4th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
@daffy, carrots
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very interesting, good post.
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which ‘dj software’ will b most impressive to altskanks so they will ’spread their legs’ for me?
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//////////Reply by son of steinem
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
@bbbbb, don’t need ’software.’ all you need is a port-o-potty, an ipod, a DSLR and a dream.
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//////////Reply by Aoknymous
//////////Posted April 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
@son of steinem,
Or some expired (vintage) sparks, meaningful space, and yeah a DSLR
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more suicide themes pls crls they’s lolaramic!!!! thx xxxxxx
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awww, Ski Free <3 <3 <3
thanks for reminding me carles, my dad, the king, has a couple of vintage computers. i’m tots going for a session!
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carles i am an active reader of your relevant blog, but you are a pretty big dick.
everyone who has a macbook automaticly has artistic and musical talent. its a fact
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Carles please kill yourself. Thx.
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Theres no better way to off yourself than with a triple play, ugh c’mon Carles get standards!
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Going back to the old-school computer games, I’d have to end it all with cosmo’s excellent adventures. <3 shitty ms-dos sound effects!
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Hey Crarlez you should make sum authentic ‘noise music’ like these ‘cool’ kids http://www.myspace.com/waaaaaaahroflcopter
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Charles,
i no u lredy ‘have’ @ ‘least’ a f*ck*ng macbooke, bro. Drop 5 hunds. on Log. Studi. & 5 hunds. on 1 vintge. ’synth’…….
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YOU SHOLD GET A P.C. BETTER 4 PORNO WATCHING
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Ableton? Come on, are we in 5th grade?
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