Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were a minority/poor/unskilled/uneducated? Seems like it is hard out there 2 find a job in our economie. I think that I would probably try to work at a place that treated me with respect, like a human. Just want to make sure I ‘get health benefits.’ Not sure if poor people are ’smart enough to work at Starbucks’, though.
What would u do if u were in a no-win situation and ‘needed a good job’?
Might move 2 LA and work at the American Apparel factory.
Pros:
- They will teach me English
- They will give me stock in the company
- They will teach me how to make t-shirts
- Can probably get a lot of free kewl merchandise
Cons:
- My family probs won’t realize that I am wearing Am Appy, and will just think I am a ‘fggt’ wearing ‘bright shit’ that I got for free at work from my employer
Might also work at the Envelope Stuffing Centre at Netflix Inc.
Pros:
- Access to ‘bad ass’ movies: action films for black people, romantic comedies, movies about step teams, and movies about minorities who learn to excel in the classroom
- Won’t have to wait for a day or two for the movies I want
- Probably could take my computer into work and rip movies on to my compy
- Probably get to ‘watch movies’ while I work in Windows Media Player
- Employee Snack Rooms
- Could probably just get all of the same movies on youtube/hulu/pirate bay without having 2 stuff envelopes with DVDs
Cons:
Might also be Chili’s Waiter
Pros:
- People will think that I am a bro working on his Associate’s Degree at a local community college for up to 8 years
- Will get to learn how to cook some bad ass party foods
- Get to interact with ‘hot, mildly thick’ desperate broads
Cons:
- 40 lb weight gain and getting into a relationship with a fellow employee who is as sad as u, then living in a local apartment with him/her, then building ur whole social life around ur Chili’s franchise co-workers. Also getting tempted 2 work for TGIFriday’s/Applebee’s.
Might just settle for McDonalds bro.
Pros:
- Free meals
- Free McGriddles
- Free Hot Cakes
- Free Sundaes
- Free bluetooth headset
- Get to ‘poop in the ball pit’
- Getting 2 interact with children 4 birthday parties
Cons:
- Having 2 work in the mornings 2 eat McDonalds breakfast.
I feel lucky 2 b me. Glad that I got to go to design school and live out my dreams working for an advertising firm behind some of the world’s most recognized viral marketing campaigns and strategically created memes.
However, not every1 has it as lucky as me.
Previous post about authentic careers.
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/what-is-the-most-authentic-alt-job.html
Where would u work if u were ‘poor’ and ‘trapped in ur life’? What would ur ‘career goals be’ besides ‘putting food on the dinner table’?
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IAmCarles.com
32 Comments
is it still alt to work at Borders?
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//////////Reply by blipOFFurRADAR
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 7:11 am
@nightheat, no but working @ B&N is going to be HUGE this summer.
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just read on da net dat dov “bustd unions” @ am appy. h8 him now just . PROTECT UR RIGHTS 2 UNIONIZE YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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//////////Reply by ho
//////////Posted April 11th, 2009 at 9:37 am
@до свидания,
you are retarded
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first azn 2 post!! hella pinoy
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like some white niggas would be working at mc’ds. maybe in buttfuck utah or some shit.
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//////////Reply by sldkjas
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:06 am
@nice, m… what?
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I’d intern for Crls
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//////////Reply by i heart Carles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
@May, I’d have sex with Carles for money…or for no money, wouldn’t really matter either way.
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//////////Reply by May
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
@i heart Carles, oh def
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“poop in the ball pit”
ha.
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//////////Reply by mq
//////////Posted April 8th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
@jjjjjjjjoe,
hahah, i laughed at this too. i’m having a terrible fucking night y’all but of course, carles provided ‘the lols’
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i would b a ‘missionary for the lord’ in the jungle.
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//////////Reply by sldkjas
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:06 am
@Gurkman, i like this idea.
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//////////Reply by blipOFFurRADAR
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 7:07 am
@Gurkman, [via danny everett and the atheindians???] so authentic. what a meaningful job!
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sell my body on craig’s list to fat ppl
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//////////Reply by i heart Carles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
@Zakawee, I sold my body to CL free stuff back when the economy was booming.
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i would become an interior designeeerrrrrrrr
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//////////Reply by i heart Carles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
@musc is my starbucks, let me get this right you want to be poor?
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i’d sell drugs
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//////////Reply by i heart Carles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@corydan, what kind?
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//////////Reply by corydan
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
@i heart Carles,
new ones that don’t make you sick [via huey lewis n the news]
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wrk at college, for a measly stipend. but book bands and influence people with alt music. meet ur fav artists
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I am poor and I work @ an internet cafe.
Fuck everyfuckingbody
and this goddamn system that traps me and all other relevant humans into becoming slaves to shitty square pieces paper/plastic cards/numbers on screens
[via Fed. Reserve/Corp. fucks/stupid generation b4 mine]
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crls are you an awesome mac operator? or maybe you are in accounts?
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thrift store
sell drugs
make clothes
make art
coffee shop
is it alt to sell stuff on etsy?
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you’re in advertising…fuck you dude.
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//////////Reply by bitch
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 2:06 am
whatever bananarama, if it wasn’t for advertising, you prob wouldn’t be the proud Am Appy wearing tween you are today. u prob would of been that poor dude wearing shirts from the 2$ shop. sick of people blaming advertising for ‘lying/tricking/forcing me to buy shit’ bros. its not even 2k, its BC.
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//////////Reply by grammy
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 2:12 am
@bananabread, Why is a tween wearing an Am Appy shirt more tuggable than a tween wearing target? mmmmmmmmmmmmm
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//////////Reply by Guido
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 8:41 am
@bananabread, theres this magazine called ‘The Adbusters’ that is made by graphic designers when they arent making nike commercials. its soooo sad somtimes. it shows u ‘buying stuff’ is ‘bad’, so i dont buy it. i read it ‘on the floor at borders’
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//////////Reply by Chipdip
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@Guido, Hahahdskjhsafkjhads
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//////////Reply by Joooooooe
//////////Posted April 10th, 2009 at 3:00 am
@Guido, every AdBusters article is written by an AdBro. It’s totally legit to blast your own profession one day in a ‘legitimate publication’ then go right back to paying the bills with the same shit. h8 everyone.
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omfg, i know like 3 chili’s bros whose lives are exactly like that
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dishwashing is where its at. wash dishes for rich pieces of shit, then steal booze, dishes, food, etc when the bosses leave. dream career.
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//////////Reply by jrounles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
@dish dog, Thats what I’m gonna do. Being poor/budgeting food/with no cigarettes has yet to get me down yet. I figure getting any job works, I was considering Janitor, pretty easy job imo. Besides its better than the other hourly wages I see. Besides I live for less than 400 a month, so the rest of that extra cash is for music equipment.
No college,
just buy myself out of the whole after livin’ in it for a while.
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Fixing up bodies at a funeral home. Nuff said.
Anyway, i think this person deserves a post
http://momfashionworld.blogspot.com/
Loser-ness doesn’t respect age nor parenthood. I can’t believe the lameness of this woman.
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//////////Reply by riiiiot
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
@Mightytaiger,
wanted 2 cry after looking at that blog.
h8 AZNS… even though i am AZN.
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//////////Reply by jrounles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
@riiiiot, wonder if the father/sperm donor/deceased/divorced guy knows what about mommies dress up time with tiny tim.
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‘hot, mildly thick’ desperate broads
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//////////Reply by whoa whoa whoa
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 9:18 am
@J, I lol’d at this hard. so good.
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//////////Reply by fratboyalt
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@whoa whoa whoa,
<3 this kind, once they see you have a “good job” and a “lil’ bit of fashion sense” you can do anything to them. (via bud lite)
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Is making B-More beats with a second hand MPC-2000xl considered Alt, or just ’sumtin from them Projects’?
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//////////Reply by pete
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
@waterman,
i love BMore
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hope i don’t have 2 strip 2 provide 4 my children
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//////////Reply by smedly
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@molly,
wut wud u do if ur son wuz at home / cryin all’lone on teh bedrm floor cuz he’s hungry ?
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all the ads on your page today are for vans(r). i thought i was the only auth alt left who used vans(r) to define his personal brand. did i miss some phase in the shoe revolution!?!? or are these ads targeting your entrylevel tween demographic who still think skateboarding/being a douchebag is ‘in’?
does vans(r) have a remote sweatshop/assembly line where i could make alt shoes y’all? think that’s where i’d ‘just get by’ [via w/o a lil help from my friends, until i worked my way up the sweatshop/assembly line food chain and became the king of shoe-assemblers].
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i would be a ghetto clown, doing b-day parties for minorities too dangerous [via lower socio-economic class] for white/upper-middle-class clowns to do
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//////////Reply by i heart Carles
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
@bbbbb, i’ll hire you to be a drunk clown and just get shit faced on my b-day with me
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted April 9th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
@bbbbb, homie dont play that
miss u damon wayans
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what about busking? i’m a little hazy on the alt status of busking, because buskers are classicaly perceived as poor lame bros, which is kinda alt, but it’s like, alt for everyone to see.
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jeffrey dahmer was the insp. for am appy hoodies
http://www.newcriminologist.com/uploads/2008102443512.jpg
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so lame that hacker is still running this blog,
not funny anymore :-(
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What about just straight hustlin?
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Good post
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Yes! HRO2k9.3: More poop humor
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Selling RIP t-shirts to people who like action movies.
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trapped working designing porn sites for a living. wish I stayed in school.
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oh no, the people behind the netflix curtain.
I’m surprised it isn’t children.
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