Photo by thecobrasnake
I have always felt out of place in public high school. Just too many people. Too many regular people. And the people who ‘look alternative’ don’t even ‘get’ what being alternative is about. Too many poors and coloureds who are from the apartment complexes that they recently built in my district
I went to a private school for a while thinking things would be better, and I think people are just too rich to be alt. Sort of like Mary Kate and Ashers. I also h8 wearing uniforms. I just want a place where I can be me. I want a place where people know what I am talking about. Tired of people pretending that Gossip Girl is authentic. Tired of meeting other people my age who listen to buzzbands from 2 years ago and tween rock.
In the fall, I will be attending the School for the Authenticification of the Young Alts of Upstate New York. Basically, it is a school that takes in alternative kids with potential, and teaches them how to take their alternative existences to the next level. The school is meant to prepare kidz for the rigorous social demands of high level alternative scenes. It is a battle for survival.
The posted picture shows the first graduating class on their senior trip. The majority of senior year is spent traveling across the globe, visiting every relevant city on this planet. In order to become an authentic alt, you must travel, and see people in their natural element. This is how you build your personal brand and personal fashion. This is how you learn 2 <3 life.
Here are a few of the aspects that make me excited about going to this high school:
- Weekend shuttle so kids don’t drive drunk
- Teaches u about important stuff like bloghouse and technology
- Gives you 4 hours per day on campus to browse the internet and read blogs
- Sponsored by a vodka company
- Freegan meals
- Vending machines with alt beverages on campus (Sparks, PBR, Belvedere)
- Class that teaches you how to start a party pic site, from buying a DSLR to how to upload pix to the web
- Teachers are from yesteryear’s indie buzz bands and some people who threw some sweet parties back when ‘the scene’ was just forming
- Strategies on thrifting / getting good deals at retail stores
- Dealing with ur mainstream past
- No mainstream events like prom, student council, or athletics
- What u should look for in a soulmate.
- Reading progressive books, magazines, blogs, and zines.
- There are no ‘grades’
What do u think I should demand in my curriculum?
Do yall go to high school? Do you think this is a good idea?
Do u think it will help me get into a good college/ivy league / art school?
Should I go to a school for the arts/technology?
What will help me become the person I want to be?
What was ur high school experience like?
All I ever wanted to do was look like the beautiful people in the pictures on the internet. [via Crystal Castalt]
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IAmCarles.com
32 Comments
yeah, such a school would be good for me =D
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//////////Reply by altER-EGO
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
awell as hai, first time i ever comment here. im new to tihs site so u oldbros need to direct me heh
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//////////Reply by Enron
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
@altER-EGO,
keep in mind it is satire. But you can be critical of the satire too, because Carles has a dark, racist, bigoted side too (which he tries to mask as satire but it is not). Genereally it is good satire.
Be weary of uber-cool hipsters who worship carles and think everything he says is genius and then reply “ur a faggt” or “u just don’t get it” to anyone who posts a comment that is critical of Carles or HRO.
Other than that.. this is my fav blog. Interesting anf funny at times.
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//////////Reply by altER-EGO
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
@Enron,
alrighty then!
thing is, ive been enjoing blogs/bloghouse/hypem quite awhile now and just happened to come upon tihs interesting blog.
gives me a fresh view on things ive been experiencing and maybe havent been releazing that time.
guess i sound like a total fag, also i rarely comment on blogs cause there doesnt seem anything to say than ‘oh thx 4 the freemp3′ nowadays. just look at the current blogs, they have like 0 to 3 comments on each post (except ohhcrapp but thats another story).
im out, talking in my sleep. bye
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@Enron, thats actually not true.
people who dont “get” HRO think its satire.
I think Carles is the man because he says things i would think before i think them. When I read his blog, its like reading about my authentic/kinda douchey but actually nice future self and making that future self my present self.
//////////Reply by Daft Punk
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
@Enron, 1st rule of HRO, NEVER speak of HRO. 2nd rule NEVER inform anyone of HRO. A true alt never breaks these rules, thank for showing how much of a mnstrm fggt you are.
//////////Reply by Classixxx Cobrasnake
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
@Enron, fggt, you have n0 relevance, shameless you are.
//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@ altER-EGO, @Enron, @ anon, @Daft Punk, @Classixxx Cobrasnake
it’s FGGTs like yall . . .
//////////Reply by E
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
@Enron, stop being such a mnstrm fggt!$!$#%^
//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
@altER-EGO, fully agree with the ‘daft punk’ bro
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//////////Reply by fortune
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@altER-EGO,
ok whoever said this blog isn’t satirical is a fucking faggot. this is such an ultra satirical blog. anyone who comments is just mocking what it would be like if inauthentic people commented on HRO. actually I think this blog is satire of satire. assyalls.
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//////////Reply by forumbro
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 2:36 am
@fortune, s0 many layers yall, lyk a fuckin onion. name for a band?? the Fukking Unyons?
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//////////Reply by Enron
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@altER-EGO,
see what I mean?
Can’t help the retards: CARLES’s ARMY. Like desperate and insecure students, they worship the master and ply his trade of layering irony and never admitting to a sincere thought (since they might be seen for who they really are). Instead they always need the backdoor escape root that irony provides.
Note the defensiveness of the “daft Punk” who says I broke the sacred rules by commenting on HRO. That li’l alt boy or girl is uncomfortable with the subject of my comments. He/she worries I may shatter the illusion that HRO creates ‘via irony/satire/exclusivity’. Don’t worry Daft punk! I believe you are authentic and see the world in an alternative way.
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
@Enron, Well see it really could go either way.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
@Enron,
HEY FGGT
FUCK YOU
THIS BLOG HAS REALLY GONE DOWN HILL
EVER SINCE U STARTED COMMENTING
PS-
carles, plz mak me a moderator so i can block fggts like enron who made r economy collapse [via the 90s]. thax. also, thax for letting me watch u and tao make out last nite. it felt like the universe cudnt stand u 2 being in the same room, much less xchanging saliva. but it def did. <3 u.
ENRON CAN STILL SUCK A DICK THAT HOMO FGGT IM GLAD I JERKED IT ONTO HIS PILLOW
NO REGRETS
<3<3aw,fukk<3<3
Reply
//////////Reply by yazmin
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
@aw, fukk, what you just said is what “HRO” is all about. No one else gets it.
//////////Reply by forumbro
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 2:30 am
@aw, fukk, FUKK YEA–TAPPING THE FUCKING SOURCE
//////////Reply by fortune
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 2:49 am
@Enron,
dude stop trying to get laid via priming HRO newcomers
Reply
//////////Reply by pouliche
//////////Posted May 21st, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I can see her meat flaps… tssss… at such a young age.
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I would probably hang around that high school, maybe some sad girl with daddy issues would fuck me. =\
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i live 4 hours frm these motherfuckers. if i ever see them they wil b shot repeatedly for having pictures with the cobrasnake instd of me.
why cnt i hav pictures with him???? :’(
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fourth..
fourth sucks.
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if only there wa such an altacademy i’d wouldn’t have to put up with all the streamers at school -.-”
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yesterday passion pit had a CD release party ON A BOAT (h8 u lonelyislandbros/miss u t-pain) and Carles hasn’t even told me whether or not it was bloggable
feel s0 mnstrm, yall
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//////////Reply by yellowPaiges
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
@hey anony anony, “IM ON A BOAT I’M ON A MUTHA FUCKING BOAT!!!”
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
@hey anony anony, sometimes it is blogable but you think too much about it before you can blog it and it just doesn’t resonate the same at the keyboard.
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HAHAHA KIDS FUCKING SUCK
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//////////Reply by Anna
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
@DICKS DICKS DICKS, Phew, at first I was pissed about these kids, but you have shown me the lite.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@DICKS DICKS DICKS,
MOAR LIKE KIDS FUCK ‘N SUCK
…
guys, im not a ped0
…
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i went to a small private school (<300 students) in the middle of a farm
it was also a monastery so we had old fat drunk guys walking around in black dresses, so it was pretty alt
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those kids are from Sao Paulo , Brazil
they are the rich white kids of Sao Paulo
but places like Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina
the kids are really hip because of the internet
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I’m so alt I dropped out and now draw chalk paintings on the pavement whilst hanging with the bros.
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girl in center of last pic: is that shorts or labia?
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//////////Reply by dev
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@vivi, labia
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//////////Reply by w0w
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
@vivi, or is it pacmanbro?
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//////////Reply by Pacmanbro
//////////Posted May 19th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@w0w, just tryin’ to escape yall…
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Fuck these kids GOD I really wish they didn’t exist.
Looking regular and poor is the new alt.
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carles there should really be a class that teaches the students how to fast properly so they can fit into the skinniest of skinny jeans.
in a related story i cant decide who has the skinniest legs in the last pic
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Fuck, I hate to admit it, but that actually sounds awesome. Though I dont think I’m ‘artsy’/'bitchy’ enough to get in. :[
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please tell me that it’s the bard high school and that you are coming to nyc and we can be bfffff.
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I go to an all boys school. its really delaying me from going alt. right now is the time when i should be getting cool hipster clothes from am appy with my parents money. Instead they dont think i need alt gear cuz im wearing a uniform to school alot of the time. Me and the one other hipster kid in the school have this problem. Anyone else have this problem?
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//////////Reply by Clicheontoast
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
@Cray, Yes exactly ! except at all girls school.. they just don’t understand ….stupid mainstream parents ..stupid mainstream school
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//////////Reply by A
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
@Clicheontoast, you two should liek totally get married
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//////////Reply by Clicheontoast
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
@A, marriage is to mainstream
carles
u must be referring to the alt school thats is in my town in upstate ny
regular ppl refer to that school as the new york state school for the blind
or some shit
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‘nao could y’all lin up from androgynALTest 2 mnstrmest plz?’ – bro who took altHS senior pic
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got a problem cause it’s important i want to know how much does your look improve when you hold a bag?
saw a bro holding a bag ‘in the downtown’ today and thought “o damn. he might look lame w/o his ‘pretty nice handbag’”
have u blogged of bags be4 carles?
think its possibly u look ‘purposeless’ and ‘lost’ w/o a bag.
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The guy on the far right isn’t Alt!
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no prom? :(
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yeah. It’s a good idea. Should offer music courses and have sponsorship from Vice, Obama, the city of Portland, lower manhattan bars, the YYYs, and the french ministry of culture.
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nobody ‘gets’ me at my local public highschool, that’s why i’m going to an all french school next year. hopefully i can expand my personal brand, meet some altBros who listen to joustice and the daft punks.
oh yeah, and france needs 2 win the electro wars.. if that’s still relevant………….
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is ‘hipster’ the new ’scene’
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//////////Reply by E
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
@voyager, is ‘fggt’ the new ‘voyager’? yes.
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//////////Reply by j$
//////////Posted May 21st, 2009 at 1:50 am
@E, genious.
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//////////Reply by srs
//////////Posted September 13th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
@j$, genius
Prf Xavier touched me there [ via telekynesis ]
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I went to a legit alt high school in Seattle. It was founded in the 80’s by hippies burnt out by the private/public school scene. Rumor had it that during that period teachers smoked weed with students, and students were alowed to smoke cigs in class (this second one I’ve had confirmed), by the time I went there these measures were sadly removed. Members of Mudhoney, Pearl Jam and Presidents of the United States of America were alumn (this was some pinacle alt shit when I went there) and were known to stop by to say whats up to teachers. It was located in the heart of Seattle alt strong hold Capitol Hill, and students often played in local bands, had art shows around town, and were known for thier “unique” style. This prepared me to play in a useless band around town, go to an alternacollege hell hole, drop out, and then eventually go back to big box university because I wanted a more authentic experience. Overall good call… alt high school ruled. It prepared me to make shitty mix tapes, write bad zines, and give years of my life to being as alt as possible. As I age into older chiller altdude I look back on those years fondly….
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//////////Reply by hartburn
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 11:21 am
@altschooler,
The Northwest School?
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//////////Reply by altschooler
//////////Posted May 20th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@hartburn,
I won’t disclose
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kinda wish i wasn’t born yet.. so jealous
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This was humorous; I enjoyed it thoroughly.
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the Alice glass clone in the middle has nasty vagina flaps, by far the most convincing
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What a bunch of weirdos.
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sounds like my school, UCSC.
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I LOVE DICKS ALL OVER ME, I WOULD HAPPILY EAT A BOWL OF DICKS FOR 20$
DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.
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