Photo via thefriendattack
I think that it is harder to be a ‘girl’ than it is to be a ‘bro.’ Especially in the alternative world. I feel like this girl is ‘very brave’ to wade across this sea of altbros, being moved around by the spirit of electro. I am not sure if I would trust so many bros with my body. Feel like a lot of guys would ‘have a grab at my goods’ or something. Might feel ’sexie’ if they went home and ‘jerked off’ to thinking about touching me, though.
I feel like girls are ‘objectified’ in a different way, and have to meet very high standards to not only be ‘hot’, but to also be ‘authentic.’ I feel like girls are ‘not as funny’ and ‘not as creative in ways that enable you to naturally socially climb.’ I think that bros who are ‘creative’ don’t have to be ‘talented’ and can utilize ‘forced’ gimmicks. Girls who are ‘trying to expand their personal brands’ are usually ‘annoying’ and ‘jappy’ or possibly ‘desperate’ and ’sad.’ Feel like it is always a combo that is ‘terrible’, and then they end up with some inauthentic bro, and the enable some sort of ‘weirdo reality.’
Feel sad that ‘we’re all insignificant’, but I feel that women are still generally ‘crazie’ and ‘are searching HARD 4 meaning’, even if they pretend to ‘not give shit’, even girls who ‘just do a lot of blow and listen to bloghouse and like 2 go thrifting.’ Feel like bros just want ‘2 cum’ on as many girls as possible. Feel like broads just want ‘to be special’ and ‘different’ in ways that might be difficult 2 fulfill.
I feel like girls are ’sadder’ and ‘take things very seriously.’ I feel like bros are ‘insecure’ and ‘angsty.’ I feel like we all want to be special. I feel like we all want to be ‘hot’, ‘relevant’, and ‘fuck lots of people’, but I think bros and girls might ‘get different things out of it.’ I feel weird when people say that they ‘just want to connect with a lot of people.’
I feel like being a ‘homosexual’ might make relationships easier. Not sure, though.
I feel like HRO would not have any readers if I blogged as ‘Carla’ or ‘Cynthia’ or ‘Jessica’ or some other female name. I feel like less people would want to ‘identify with’ me, or something.
Just another bro
making his way in the world
trying to find
love
a tug
and meaning
unsure about my sexuality
Would u rather be a boy or a girl?
If u were able to ’switch genders’, would u masturbate more or less than u do now?
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
50 Comments
1st. i would rather be a sexi broad. would tuch myself thinkin about alt.
Reply
I wish I was a tom-boy sometimes even though its a man’s world (via James Brown)
Reply
moar pics
Reply
less maybe
damn
not sure
Reply
I would touch myself way more if I could just figure out what gender I am.
Reply
IM GOING TO FUK YOU SO HARD CRLS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW.
Reply
//////////Reply by koko
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 10:37 am
@Narclobster, NO I WANT TO FUCK HIM, IN R ARSSSSSSSSSSSSSuwyowqdjpm: boom. splasch thunderlightnin.
Reply
Carles,
Sometimes I fantasize that u are a girl.
Reply
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 6:12 am
@Jose, Anon likes this.
(carles can you add a Like feature to your blog?)
Reply
if you’re looking for my cookies keep on looking coz they stay in the jar (via Ciara)
broadz lyk ‘cream’ on their cookies if yaknowhaddamean?!!!111!
Reply
it’s harder to be a bro but i’d rather be a bro and to be the bro that i am
came on a girl’s face last week. i think i am in love with her now
Reply
How do I attrakt alt grilz if I’m nawt an alt boi?
Reply
//////////Reply by laura
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 1:53 am
@Anthony F., i was going to tell you to buy a pair of converse and grow and beard, but then i thought that maybe you’re not attracting girls for a lot of other reasons than ‘just not being alt’
Reply
girls donut a) sk8 board b) ejaculate 3)buy u dranks at the bar. 2 b seen as ‘authentic’ in TORONTO! last summer u were a lezzie. Lezzies are alt and auth cuz they are s0 over ejaculate and are into ‘other women’s vaginas’ via Kristy Kastles haircut & lensless frames. it is easy for girls ‘to experiement and see if I am into chicks’ for a summer then to go back to dik when being a ghey has become ‘gay’ again. for st8 girls to b Alt and Auth we must say HELL TO THE NO DBAG t0 everybro who wants bring us home (everyone), whcjh in turn makes the br0s think yr a lessie NEway
Reply
//////////Reply by bro
//////////Posted May 10th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
@idk,
sounds ‘hot’
wanna ‘hook up’?
Reply
it’s way harder to be a chick. boys don’t even have to shower to be attractive half the time, yet we have to maintain our grooming or we’re considered gross. it’s a fucked up double standard
i kinda think i’d be better at being a boy though. bitches is crazy.
Reply
//////////Reply by Clausewitz
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 1:49 am
@perrigrine, i’m ‘deeply offended by your view of womyn’ [via Park Slope bitches]
Reply
//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 1:54 am
@perrigrine, my vagina makes me feel a little less authentic.
Reply
//////////Reply by perrigrine
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
@Jenny Haniver, fuck some authenticity. my vagina makes me feel dull and less important. it would be fun as hell to be a bro. shit, i’m an awful feminist
Reply
//////////Reply by emle
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@perrigrine, that;s just what they want you to think. Fuck ‘em.
think it’d be easier if ‘girls’ weren’t making themselves pretty and waiting for the s0cially dominating d-bags to come up to them, and went looking for sum more vulz altbros who weren’t as ’secure’. and it’d be easier for ‘boyz’ if they didn’t feel obligated be d-bags, to build up enuf confidence, to cum in on and around the prettiest girls possible. we all r trying.
it’d be easier for girls
and easier for boys
to find happiness
and authenticity
if we all didn’t have peens and gashes
‘what is love, yall?’ -the haddaways
Reply
//////////Reply by kid
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 2:00 am
@forumbro,
I agree. I feel bad for boys who go the d-bag route, to attract girls. They always end up with really superficial girls.
I don’t like when guys are too aggressive when they try to talk to me.
Reply
//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 2:06 am
@forumbro,
all these ‘insecure dudes’ you’re talking about, need to quit being little bitches. Authenticity doesn’t go hand-in-hand with Happines. quit being horny, needy skankz. so i don’t get it. do you want to just fuck anything that moves? or do you want to cut your dick off? you sound like you’re too pressured by sex. maybe you shouldn’t be poking anything for a while. eek. but i do agree that our biology and physiology makes us a little less hip than we would like to believe.
Reply
//////////Reply by forumbro
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 2:38 am
@Jenny Haniver, sounds like u really ‘get it’, even tho ur saying ‘i don’t get it’. sounds like u don’t know what i’m feelin. sounds like u got me ‘all figured out’. sounds like ur trying to revoke my license to have a ‘cock’.
sounds like u don’t want to co-brand urself with me.
sounds like ur trying to ’stand out’ as sum1 who isn’t ‘horny’/'a skank’/'a little bitch’.
guess u aren’t pressured by sex
guess u r allowed to poke things
guess u r authentic
sounds like ur big and strong. sounds like u know how 2 treat a girl. just want u to hold me and say, “quit being a little bitch, everything will be alright.”
h8 u angryAlt
<3 u angryAlt
Reply
//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@forumbro, i’ll hold you…but i wont let you touch me. i am a girl. and i know what we want. it seems like you are trying to figure out what we want. just wash your dick and jump in the game. make it smell good. i’ve fucked sincere people. i don’t need some d-bag to rub my clit the wrong way. just be a gentleman who relates to me and who i can relate to.
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 5:34 am
@forumbro, I prefer stab wound.
Reply
//////////Reply by emle
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
@forumbro, feelin kinda sad that boys and girls still can’t understand each other. girls only want to “look pretty” so that altbros “like them” (via 2000+ yrs of cultural constructs.)
feel sad for girls, because even tho we both get fucked by “gender confines” girls are the only ones who realize it. boys who “cum on everything” think its “awesome.” being a “d-bag” is cool, but girls who are “sluts” are sad about it.
Reply
This is a touchy subject, alt dudes, dudebros, bros what ever you want to call them; IMO it’s easier for the girls for the simple reason that they can experiment and still be ok. Being a dude, I’ll never forger the first time I wore my am appy pink slim slacks out… oh man what a night. I tend to mix articles of clothing wearing what ever I feel anything from tights, shorts and boots to red skinny jeans and chucks. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t. Yes I am hated on and talked about for this but why; are guys really any different than girls? Girls are allowed to pretty much do whatever they feel, whilist dudes are expected to follow a certain redirect to be socially accepted.
To touch on switching genders:
My opinion is slanted as I am a trans-lesbian; Of course if I could switch I would, I hate going to the club and being 1 of 300 dudes… I’m not the one with tattoos or doing coke off of some girls abdomen on the bar (although I have) so I’m ruled out as a loser, being gay or just plain stupid. I feel dudes have to compete for everything…
At what point does ones personal brand or being so called “authentic” become more of a nuisance? Are you still “authentic”? What is “authentic”? Isn’t being authentic an opinion of someone or something, a label placed upon you by others? I mean although funny, one can not come out and say “Hey, I am authentic!”
Reply
//////////Reply by sdf
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
@Kori Williams, athntcty is being true 2 yrself and not being a d-bag.
your p-brand is authentic when u stop caring/trying so hard to make it authentic and can just be
Reply
kinda confusing. wish i’d taken a ‘gender studies’ class when i was doing my generals.
Reply
shut UP carles. probably will use yr post in my essay for sociology about the am appy affect on gender hegemony. love u/h8 u
Reply
Happy u blog as Carles. Can’t ‘relate’ to Carles = girl.
Be ‘more interested in meeting girl = Carles’. [via 'I'm just a lone bro']
Would like to ‘try being a girl’, could be ‘fun’.
Reply
wish i was a boi bcz then i culd have more ‘power’ and be more ‘influential’ in da societeez. also would like to have lots of sex without feeling ‘remorseful’ or ’slutty’.
Reply
//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@Sarah, yea
Reply
Wow, ‘a culturally relevant blog’ post.
It is more difficult to be a woman, that’s fact and it’s visible in the sub culture of hipster run offs. Girls have to have a ‘unique’ style of thrift store vintage and expensive brands. They have to be as crude as the asshole ramming into them and nice as his mother. The pressures and frustrations surpass the boytoyz.
Guys need a pair of dirty black skinny jeans and a white v-neck to be appropriately fashionable. It doesn’t matter if they’re assholes or assholes, they’re smart asses. This quality undeniably makes the girls drop the panties. Their instant bromance w/ other males makes their opportunities endless. Which is why there are more male DJs, mcs, promoters, entourage (minus turtle), mcdonald’s employees, etc. The ladies have to work twice as hard to get a name out.. and when they do you don’t even know if they’ll be respected. I don’t really have a conclusion to this rant. If anything I’m proving your point… but thank you, this is relevant, and maybe sum of u all can tke note cuz itz rlly coo
Reply
//////////Reply by dlights
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 6:49 am
@heyya,
want to change teams for yr comment
Reply
//////////Reply by emle
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
@heyya, srsly, grl. I’m so with you. feel like i’m surrounded by altbros totally phoning in a personality and have to peel the girls (who are doing the same) off their emaciated crotches. was at a show the other night, 3 bands full of white bearded bros (but of course) and we all stood spellbound for a couple hours, effectively jerking them off over their half-ironic doobie brothers rip-offs. not only would no bros show up for some women doing the same thing, but no girls would either.
think this post was all too relevant, as every hot smart girl i know feels like they’re wrong half the time for expecting anything more than a self-involved mouthbreather.
BUT, i know there are some legit bros out there. just be yrselfs.
Reply
carles as a strong broad i do not like dis post
Reply
Imma girl, but would totes masterb8 more as an altBro just to watch myself cum ovr n ovr on my man tummy. Bro ejaculation = hottttt.
Reply
what about poor alts, surely its the hardest for them?
wait, do poor alts exist?
Reply
//////////Reply by catya
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 9:21 am
@Perry Smith, nope
Reply
//////////Reply by Jenny Haniver
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
@Perry Smith, haha poor alts don’t, but broke ones do
Reply
//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
@Perry Smith, i am a poor alt y’all
Reply
GIRLS are FUCKING SHIT
Reply
//////////Reply by koko
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 10:39 am
@DICKS DICKS DICKS, pussy. you’re just scared. pussies are awesome. soft and deep. your just being stupid dick. hope thats ur real name. cuz i lovez it. cheers
Reply
last nite i wore my skinniest skinny jeans and went to an entry-level partie in Altona. Got a tugjob from a girl who was ‘menStr8tng’. felt like girls have it harder cos of they get mad during their periods
Reply
//////////Reply by Balto
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 5:10 am
@Balto, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altona,_Victoria
Reply
i guess its tuff for altgirls if you arent hawt and a lil zany [via PizzaAlt]
Reply
h8 u carles
ur so unfair to altbroads sometimes
some of us are ‘rly chill and arty’
Reply
Girls get much more criticism.
Has anyone else noticed that the term ‘entry-level’ is gender specific? You would never call a fifteen year old bro ‘entry-level’. Bros are just bros, unless which they are in a group of both… at that point they would be ‘tweens’.
Girls bring it upon themselves because they try harder. Bros are much better at feigning indifference. Being an authentic broad would be pretty simple, though. You’re either DTF or ‘in a relationship’.
Reply
//////////Reply by blipOFFurRADAR
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 10:34 am
@lawlcatz, WHOA. did i just read that?
Reply
//////////Reply by chorles
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
@lawlcatz,
crls b careful u r hurting ppls brains
Reply
//////////Reply by emle
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
@lawlcatz, “grls can’t be punks, grls are just grls.”
–some stupid punk song
Reply
carles is def a chick!
Reply
if you wanna be fem-alt, you can’t be too good looking, cos then ppl will just write you off as a slutz… need to be sorta good looking, in the ‘girl next door’ kinda way: few freckles, curly hair, glasses etc… then other alt’s will notice your style more and wont be offended by your outrageous good looks…
slutz are good too
Reply
//////////Reply by musical chains
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@alec, ye but then u cant get a beard 2 cover up yr uglyness if ur an uggo
Reply
just wish gender were malleable, yall (via loverboy hercules and his love affairs)
Reply
//////////Reply by h8 ebay
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 11:31 am
@hey anony anony,
<3 androginy [menthally&phisically]
Reply
girls are too bad at math, they can’t figure out how to pay for dinner and how many guys they need to fuck to be an alt slut. Plus it’s too hard to talk to them unless you’re a gay faggot/a dad/both
Reply
//////////Reply by zoey
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
@whatuptokyo, too hard to talk to us? sounds like you haven’t tried. granted, a lot of girls are dumb bitches, but the rest of us are nice and funny and would like to talk to you (well, maybe not you. you sound mean. but boys in general)
Reply
//////////Reply by whatuptokyo
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@zoey, im not really that mean, just mad cause i left the flash drive with my portfolio on it in the rain. When do we have sex?
Reply
//////////Reply by zoey
//////////Posted May 12th, 2009 at 4:09 am
@whatuptokyo, there ya go, kid! there’s nothing girls like more than trying to turn a frown upside down, so…pout a bit about it, and you’ll have girls in bed within hours (or minutes, depending on the girl and how good you are at puppy dog faces)
this makes me think cales is a broad, yall. or hes just got zooper insight to da female br4inzzz
Reply
i wanna be a female alt so i can get all the free blow from party promoters and social climb and grift the shit out of people
Reply
-altbros must pay for everything–that is why altbros make more $$$ than altgirls
-altgirls get 2 decide not only when they have the sexie time, but also when other altbros get 2 [via i'm tired]
-think free food/dranks/clothes/beer/sparks/____ and the sex whenever u want it [via bros r always down 2 fuk] balances out u sometimes buying ‘expensive clothes/makeup/slutty eyeliner’ and ‘maintaining good hygiene.’
Reply
//////////Reply by born & bread
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
YEAH I GUESS ITS A PRETTY GOOD ARRANGEMENT
Reply
//////////Reply by cupcakes
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
@brobro, that theory would work if every guy followed those guidelines. unfortunately, there are a ton of assholes that make chicks ‘keep up with hygene’ and ‘buy everything’
Reply
//////////Reply by mainstreamer
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
@cupcakes, not the fault of bros that some girls dont know how to ‘game the system’
Reply
//////////Reply by altistic
//////////Posted May 12th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
@brobro, U are so wrong–I kno many altbros who dont pay for shi* coz they are ‘without employment’ b/c they are financing their futile music/art/graphic/performance art careers some of the entry-level altbroads will support these wannabes so they will seem authentic in the scene
Reply
Good post Carles. Don’t think it matters if ur alt or mainstreamz, every1 wants a ‘down to earth’ girl/bro who really gets/grifts them.
Feel like things are getting to complicated between ‘the sexes’. Feel like things should be easier:
Scene (interior): Authenic Toronto Nightspot. Maybe Circa, I don’t know.
Altbro: How, are you enjoying the ‘Justeeces f/ Bono f/ Lenny Kravitz’ laptop remix
Altgirl: were you talking to me?
Altbro: ……no?
Altgirl: k. Care for some tuggz/rails of coke/moufjob/serious relationship/Am.Appy griftCards/ intelligent conversation/mp3’s [via iphone mediapad 2009]
Altbro: i love you
[This excerpt brought to you by '500 days of Summer'. In theatres Septemby 09]
Reply
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
@Joshbro, god that movies gonna be bad
Reply
Sooooo alt. I just want to go dye my hair black and sing to Babyshambles.
Reply
//////////Reply by Taylor
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
@Taylor, for further updates
twitter.com/taylorghrist
Reply
Is it alt to have a small ‘peen’? ‘Gawd’ I hope so.
Reply
feel like girls just want ‘2 cum’ with as many bros as possible too. just anniemals yall.
Reply
girl orgazzies are ‘of higher qualitie’ apparently, so maybe more then now, i think.
Reply
//////////Reply by peen envy
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@chorles, whatever, guys can cum on faces. that would be way more fun
Reply
//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@peen envy, it is yall
but only if the girl ‘wants it’ otherwise you/i/we/yall might bet ‘punched in the face’
Reply
//////////Reply by chorles
//////////Posted May 11th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@peen envy,
u make me hornie. going 2 cum on a piece of ’scrap-paper’ with an ‘facial sketch’ on it now.
Reply
//////////Reply by peen envy
//////////Posted May 12th, 2009 at 4:04 am
@chorles, see? i can’t do that! all i can do is arch my back and grab at sheets. what the fuck is that compared to cumming on a girl’s face? it’s bullshit. being a chick is fucking dumb
The pic of alice glass getting violated by like ten douches at a concert answers this question pretty easily methinks.
Reply
the transition from bro to alt bro takes like 5 minutes. a few accessories, a few bright colors and boom. instant altbroness. a girl has to change her whole wardrobe/haircut/demeanor/ athesetic tastes etc. but once these platforms are solidified its easier to maintain being the girl because all u gotta do is look hawt. if a bro doesnt keep up on trends/fashion/music he falls behind and has nothing to bring to the alt round table
Reply
i get to use my body like bait, use boys for booze, drugs, n sex, and then blog abt it. my girl parts are the best!
Reply
kind of think i don’t even want to ‘be with’ an altbroad
kind of want a classy uptown chick that dresses like she’s real rich but is ‘kind of a freak in the sack’ and doesn’t bitch at me for ‘being poor’ and ‘hanging out downtown’
Reply
i feel like its harder for the altgirl to be a ‘homosexual’ cause u rly have to be pretty or a ho or ur kinda just butchy
there is no altbutch
Reply
soooo true. and i’m not just saying that because i was recently told that my blog sucks. because that is also mostly true.
Reply
bein an altbro is hrd ya’ll. mnstrmz always mkin fun of my am appy and pbr. lifes ruff is suburbia.
Reply
Don’t know how to be an alt girl
Can’t tell if I’m allowed to pay for dinner (via a feminist meme)
Don’t know how to think when my alt guy has longer hair than I do.
Any girls out there know how to be hot without being skanky?
Just tying to be alt without getting hit on alz the time.
Wana be the authentic me.
Reply
no one would listen to you if crls were a woman. good post.
Reply
//////////Reply by cowboy butts
//////////Posted May 12th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
@annie, fo’ real.
Reply
humans are naturally bisexual. we are taught to be heterosexual. so weird. so fucking weird.
Reply
this is a post on expanding your personal brand
Reply