Photos via thecobrasnake
Is it ‘alt’ to go to the movies to see mainstream summer blockbusters? Feel like people who ‘go to the movies’ and ‘build their weekly schedules around television shows’ make me sad, because they represent how people don’t have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside. Sort of prefer ‘wasting time on the internet’ because we are all trying to get vulnerable and ’show the world who we are.’
It makes me feel sad when people outsource their personal brands to ‘fictional tales.’ Like when bros invest in storm trooper costumes, or when teens ‘get pregnant’ just because the popular movie Juno did it. I wish we could all be individuals, instead of ‘feeling pressured to see a kewl movie’ because every1 is talking about it. Sort of reminds me of JokerAlts.
Not even sure if Star Trek is ‘good.’ I just remember it was a television show or something, then they cancelled it for Frasier or 2 Guys A Girl and 1 Cup of Pizza.
Should I see that movie about Wolverines and X-people? Feel out of touch with society. Sort of wish I could build a time machine, and see Jurassic Park / Independence Day /Garden State / Where the Wild Bros Are for the first time again. Sort of dreading ‘being a cool dad’ but having to ’sell out’ and take my kids 2 see ’shitty movies’ to feel like they are ‘normal.’ Might only allow my kid to watch DVDs from the Criterion Collection.
XX BONUS NAPPY DYNAMITE SIGHTING XX
Does n e 1 know what ever happened to the Napoleon Dynamite bro? I think he found a way 2 clone himself or something. Think they will probably use the ‘clone gimmick’ in Napoleon Dynamite Pt 2: Pedro’s Revenege [via Swine Flu {sub-Via Mexis}].
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IAmCarles.com
25 Comments
Memestream
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every1s talkig abt wolvervine or whatever… its like, wow, dont care
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//////////Reply by born & bread
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
@derryck, haha you are ten
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most movies are just ____________
I dont define myself with movies
films on the other hand…
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just want to get vulnerable 4 yall, so i made a list of confessions i need to tell u:
i too have a big foam thing that goes over my hand, but it is shaped like an extremely large and graphically detailed cock. it makes me lol, but it makes my white suburban parents uneasy.
i once tried to teabag the lead singer from MCR.
i do not own any mexicans.
i might have the swine flu. i threw up 5 times today, but afterwards i felt a lot better. i then ‘lol’ed and asked my friend if he thought i had the swine flu. he just looked uneasily at me.
i once gave tao lin a handjob with my mouth.
i just fngrBangd my gf of 1.334 years. She had an uneasy expression on her face after i finished, cause i told her i was worried she was preggers. thought i cud feel a head.
they tried to make me go to rehab, but i said “maybe laters”
am i just a meme?
:-/
i need to draw attention to the fact that you are breathing manually right now.
take your left hand off your face, and sit up straight.
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//////////Reply by derryck
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 5:58 pm
@jesustits, yea thats just a bunch of internet garbage, develop ur self
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@jesustits,
Dear jesustits,
FUCK U FGGT
GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET
I JUST STUCK IT IN UR MOMS POOPER
*MAKES A JERKING OFF MOTION AND THEN PRETENDS TO SHOOT CUM ALL OVAR UR FGGT FACE*
Lots of love,
<3<3 aw, fukk <3<3
ps- carles, do u luv the altmovie ‘blue velvet’, like i do? its a touching coming of age story about being alt in society/not liking ‘blue ribbon’. you should watch it with ur gf/dennis hopper/bf/bff/so/bc/tao lin/jesus/choose.ur.own.response.
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//////////Reply by not a sheep
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 pm
@aw, fukk,
you guys are all a bunch of sheep. it’s cool to align yourself with HRO when you ‘get it’, but can’t you bring some ORIGINAL form of meta-analysis to the table? don’t you think that’s the reason Carles enables comments on this blog? I’m pretty sure he’d like to learn from ORIGINAL COMMENTS AND STYLE. god it’s only funny to ironically ‘give in’ and talk like Carles for the first WEEK AT MOST of reading HRO. you are all a bunch of entry levelers (except the cool ones who I havent figured out yet because I’m fairly new to this site as well).
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm
@not a sheep,
hey faggot, having some trouble understanding you, can you try taking the cock out of your mouth when you talk?
thx,
aw, fukk
//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 pm
@not a sheep,
ps-
its pretty obvs u havent seen ‘blue velvet’.
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 am
@not a sheep, post-ironic was 2k__. Ur behind schedule.
//////////Reply by sldkjas
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
@jesustits, damn. you got me with those last two, that was good.
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//////////Reply by Aoknymous
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
@jesustits,
fucking /fa/ggot, make it more obvious.
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//////////Reply by jesustits
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
@Aoknymous,
tits or gtfo
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I’ve always hated movies except for a handful that are meaningful to me. Never usually seek them out though.
Glad I chose music as my preferred medium of expression. I’m glad I have no desire to make a film one day. I’m glad I’m building up my iTunes instead of my DVD shelf. I’m glad my favorite “films” are by Jim Jarmusch and that I’ve never seen “Pulp Fiction” or “xXx” or “Garden State”. I’m glad I know more about experimental films than I do about stupid loser comic book movies. Movies kind of fall into my lap. I feel like people who actively seek them out are pretty fucking lame. Because movies take a long time to watch, really. And people who quote shit should kill themselves. Spoiled the first time I saw “The Holy Grail” at age 21. Not funny.
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 7:51 pm
@fortune, you sound like an unfun person
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//////////Reply by Cobra
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
@fortune,
You sound like a _________. Get a life.
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//////////Reply by ES
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 1:08 am
@fortune, I completely agree with this.
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//////////Reply by fat guy from pm dawn
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 5:31 am
@fortune,
you’re kind of a twat. you’re trying too hard. relax relax relax…
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//////////Reply by not a sheep
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 6:36 am
@fortune,
did you guys ‘get’ my fun comment… are you guys playing along… did it go over readers’ heads?
is this an anxiety shared by most HRO commenters?
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 3:18 pm
@not a sheep,
here at hro, we find it very difficult to realize when carles, you, and ourselves start to go too far into the jokes and start to be p0st-ironic/sarcastic within an already p0st-ironic/sarcastic post or comment. it gets very recursive and confusing. thats when i close the hro tab and go back to listening to my fav AnNo vinyl.
i dont know if we play along, or if we play along with playing along.
we are just too fucking self aware.
i cant remember if this response is legit, or if i am fucking with you.
choose.your.own.interpretation.
<3<3aw, fukk<3<3
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hope my kids just ‘get it’ immediately when they’re born
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//////////Reply by born & bread
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@BRO, haha YUS
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Is it alt 2 like Star Trek ironically?
Not sure what irony is, but I think it means u can ‘like whatevs u want’ as long as ur just trying 2 prove a point/give other self-aware alts a lil laugh/____________________.
How should I know which things 2 like ironically and which things 2 actually like? Or does it matter? Are there certain ppl whose movies you can automatically know it’s safe 2 like non-ironically? Wes Anderson? Stanley Kubrick? James Henson? Melvin Brooks? ????????
s0 confused.
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//////////Reply by bro
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
@bwllmb,
you should hate everything
better safe than Sorry [via the popular board game]
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//////////Reply by born & bread
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@bro, hm
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//////////Reply by kid
//////////Posted May 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 pm
@bro
your so clever. i never thought of that
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more {sub-vias} …<3 them
Also, can’t wait for the GirlTalk’s remix of this Wolverine vs. X-Bros movie.
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 11:49 am
@neednotapply, [via Triple X Men of Mystery {subvia Wolverine v. xXx v. sex/fart jokes}]
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Every1 knows Kirk is most mainstream capt. ever
Every1 knows Janeway is altest capt. ever [via breaking the glass ceiling in space]
<3 Star Trek
h8 u awkward teenage years
miss u delta quadrant
think i’m gonna skip this movie. wait for somethin about altjews w/ guns, and a guy with a ‘weird ass moustache’ killing nazis and stuff. Is that a thing?
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wish it was weds so i could watch lost
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Star Trek is alt b/c it was the only cool thing in America, other than Punk, from ‘69-’82
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lmaO. Funny post. Tv Trek looked so boring to me. I would just turn it off and watch “moesha”.
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I think knowing everything about Start Trek, (or any other show/movie), is like the mainstream version of knowing the life-story of every member of AnCo.
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just googled u and the ny zine said u are making a music album, and dude, cum on… ur gonna kill ur legacy of triple post ironical arm chair social enlightenment/criticism/satire w/ a move like that. it’s waaay too vulnerable. the webs is gonna pin u up checKKK mate style, nullifying all relevance u’ve achieved w/ this blog, doood! u will never have the impact u currently have if u make a “music” move. it’s faar too temporary, far too transient. it’s difficult to achieve mystery. u’ve done it, so don’t take a shit on it. trust me, any “music” u make will do nothing but damage this great thing u got goin on. repress those internal desires to bust ur musical voice, quell those desires 4 validation or whatever is compelling u 2 do it in the 1st place>>> just don’t. or it’s all over.
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“Feel like people who ‘go to the movies’ and ‘build their weekly schedules around television shows’ make me sad, because they represent how people don’t have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside.”
s0 tru! I’ve always felt this way about it.
h8 u roommies
yall s0 lame [via wasting their friday night to go to see the movie about that bro with shanks on his hands]
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I hate so many movies that it’s refreshing when one “isn’t that bad”.
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the mnstrm movie ‘me (feat. marley)’ made me cry. does that make me more authentic bcuz i care about animals, or less authentic bcuz i was emotionally affected by a hollywood production?
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“Feel like people who ‘go to the movies’ and ‘build their weekly schedules around television shows’ make me sad, because they represent how people don’t have any thing 2 do, so we just have 2 waste time watching things 2 keep us from thinking about how sad we all are on the inside.”
best thing i’ve ever read. so true. it really ‘hits home’ for me.
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Don’t forget that it’s all about having fun. If anybody wants to see a comercial movie and had a great time watching it who are you to tell that is wrong.
Even your great criterion directors have seen blockbusters. So don’t be so absurd.
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Why does the “Star Trek” prequel look so rad but then the TV series that follows it in actual chronological order look so shitty? Intergalactic swine flu epidemic? Investors in phaser/transporter/whatever technology got swindled?
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why can’t I post anything
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted May 3rd, 2009 at 7:56 pm
@anony, nvm
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Sub via bahahaha
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fuck off carles get off the internet you sack of shit. i hope your family comes home and realises you are fucking retarded and shits all over your face.
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fucking where the wild things are hasn’t even been a movie yet.
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is that spock or surkin?
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